GUNS AND SPACE MAGIC
A Borderlands and Destiny fusion
So, you want to know how this all came about? How an age of wonder turned to so much craters and and ruin? You want the full story behind every historical figure, and the juicy secrets behind every event?
Too friggin' bad, this is the cliffnotes version.
A long ass time ago, on an Earth far away, back in, like, the year 2025, humanity detected a really friggin' weird round thing that was terraforming every planet and moon it came across. Needless to say, we found this to be really interesting, so we get some astronaut guys and got them into a space ship, flew up to Mars and said, "Hey."
The being said 'hey' back.
The astronaut's asked, "So, who are you and... whatcha doin'?"
The being said, "I am a Traveler, and I like to leave astral bodies nicer than when I found them."
The astronaut's nodded, and said. "Cool. This is our star system, and you're the first being from outside of it we've ever encountered."
The Traveler, taken aback, said, "Oh, shit. Really?"
"Yep. Evolved and raised on the third planet."
"Need any help, or anything?"
"... Lots."
And thus began the Golden Age of Humanity.
... Okay, that's not really what they said, but it was the gist of it!
For seven hundred years, the human race prospered and expanded. From one end of the Milky Way, to the other Humanity arrived with three times their natural lifespans, and near unlimited energy from Light reactors. Fast food chains with franchises across the cosmos! The Traveler became the center of a civilization that spanned a galaxy, with plans to go even further.
But, like an awesome party being crashed by a neighbor throwing Molotov Cocktails at the guests, the good times rolled to a sudden halt. We called it the Collapse.
... Back then, we called it a lot of things. The Anomaly. The incursion. Fucking Asshole Cloud. Death. The one that stuck... was the Darkness. Because that is what it brought. The stars couldn't be seen, plant life withered in its presence. Stories say people became ill just by being near it.
What happened next isn't completely clear, and you'll meet scholars who will get into fist fights over what they think happened. What we KNOW is this: Every surviving military force gathered to the Traveler, and they launched a full blown counter-offensive. The Traveler... did something and it pushed the Darkness back. Humanity survived, but there was nothing and no one left to keep us unified. The Traveler fell silent, and was hidden by the survivors of that battle.
Centuries later, the Corporations arose, and began the Silver Age. Yes, that is literally what they marketed it as. Things got... bloody between competing companies, and things got REALLY bad against other species out there.
Then the second Collapse happened. The Darkness came back. The Corporations tried fighting it on their own, without unifying. Without Light.
It went really, really bad.
When all seemed at it's darkest, when all hope had seemed lost; a miracle happened.
The Traveler returned, and brought with it...
The Guardians.
CHAPTER ONE
The Right Place for a Hero
It was in an cave buried in an empty ravine regularly pounded by flaming rain, where Gaige Solokov died.
The skags wouldn't even go there anymore, bandits steered away because they believed an 'ancient spirit of chaos' haunted it. Where the rain didn't hit, carnivorous mushrooms hid in the dark corners, waiting to absorb the flesh of passerby. Most ominously, there was a circle of long dead skeletons clutching guns, knives, and- in one case- a traffic cone wrapped in barbed-wire...
But in the center was smaller set of bones, fractured and broken by bullets, with the left arm missing, and in it's place a clearly mechanical one, rusted and eroded from age. What might have been a Vladof auto rifle lay in pieces next to it.
The long silence of this ancient, makeshift tomb was broken by thee voices.
"Ugh.. why did you sign us up for this run? Ninety percent of the time, the Ghost doesn't even find their Guardian."
"Because the poor things get shot at in places like this. Ghosts are too important to waste."
"Chill, A-money. We're gettin' the glimm either way, and that new steak place opened up on Erianna street!"
"You only want to go because they advertised crumpets."
"Don't sass me on my crumps, man."
"No one calls them tha-"
"Both of you, hush! I think the Ghost just found one!"
"Oh, shit. Really? Does this mean we split the bounty money with the newbie?
"If this comes out of my crumpet money, I shall become most unpleasant."
"Hold on, hold on! I've always wanted to see this done right!"
"What do you mean?"
"Shh! It's starting!"
And then there was Light...
"Rise and shine, my Guardian. You've got a big afterlife in front of you," said a cheerful female voice.
"Buh... gruh?" Gaige moaned as she cracked open her eyes-
And had them immediately assaulted a rainbow of light and holographic confetti as the words- "HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY!" -flickered in happy colors.
Under the near blinding display was a woman wearing a purple and yellow trench coat and helmet with Maliwan logos, clapping excitedly. "Welcome back, Guardian! There's so much to catch you up on!"
"Aw, man. Another Warlock. I was hopin' for a Titan," said a woman wearing black and white checkered armor with what looked like an actual fur collar.
"Lay off, it's not her fault that the Light decided she's supposed to be a hoighty toighty, book loving nerd that slaps problems with space magic," crowed a man wearing a blue, white and orange cloak and armor with a 'V' symbol Gaige didn't recognise.
"Hergle fla?" Gaige groaned as she tried to sit up.
The woman in the coat hurried forward took hold of Gaige's hands and pulled her up. "Inability to form words, stiffness of body. Poor thing, you must have been dead for a long time."
Gaige paused and looked bewildered at the woman holding her up, "... Deh?"
A white sphere with a blue eye and twitching little blue pyramids upon it, spoke with the cheerful voice she had first heard upon waking, "Hi! I know this is all jarring and all, but I promise it's going to be okay. You see, you were dead, but I revived you with the power of the Traveler's Light! (Sorry it took so long to find you, by the way.) Through me, your very own personal Ghost unit, you will have access to the Light and it's powers. If you die in battle, I'll bring you right back after- just as long as I'm intact! You are now effectively an immortal with super powers! Welcome to the Guardians!"
"... cooh."
The woman holding her hand lifted a finger up, "In addition, you are a Warlock like me. We focus on knowledge, power, and support rolls in combat."
The woman in heavy in heavy armor walked up and gently punched Gaige in the shoulder, "You also got your sexy, badass, face punching Titans like me. Then there's the sneaky, potsot taking, blankie wearing Hunters like him." She jutted her finger at the caped man, who dutifully waved.
"Mornin', kid. Helluva wake up call, huh?"
Gagie nodded, not trusting her treacherously uncooperative tongue.
The Warlock gestured at Gaige, "Once we get back to base, we'll get you something more... suitable for our line of work."
The newly risen Guardian looked down at herself, and felt bemused. She was clad in dirty brown robes, and feeling the weight on her head, reached up to feel a round helmet.
"Yeah, every Guardian starts out looking like a post apocalyptic hobo. The Ghost makes your gear out of any material nearby, and you have to settle for it for a while," The Hunter said as he used a knife to dislodge a bit of dirt in his arm guard.
Gaige quietly grumbled.
"Ah, don't worry, shorty. You'll feel better after you've killed something," said the Titan.
Gaige's Ghost popped up, "Speaking of which, I'm picking up an evacuation request from the New Haven settlement. Seems like they're finally ready to get off this rock and join up with Sanctuary."
The Warlock holding Gaige's hand squeezed it in reassurance, "You don't have to go if you don't want to. If you don't feel like you're ready for fight, than you're not ready."
"Can we? Can we? I've waited centuries to partner with a Guardian and rain death and destruction upon the enemies of humanity! Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase?" Begged her Ghost as she bobbed side to side.
Smiling, Gaige brought up her hand to pet the floating murderball- ... her... warm... and fleshy, left hand...?
"Buh?!" Gaige desperately looked through the cavern's floor. Her foot brushed something hard. She reached down, letting go of the Warlock and picked up the rusted and broken prosthetic arm. She groaned pitifully.
Her Ghost floated over, "Ooh, was that yours? When I brought you back from the dead, I just read your DNA and reconstructed you based on that. Not only are you fully flesh and blood again, I made you into your most physically ideal self. Next time you lift up your shirt, you should find a nice six-pack. You're welcome!"
Gaige shook her old prosthetic at the Ghost, pointing at a digistruct beacon built in it's forearm. "Dehtrah, mlyf's greyes worh!"
The Ghost backed up a little bit, and scanned the appendage. "Oh? Ohhh, now I see. There's something in the digistruct drive. It looks like... oh, my. Oh, wow," The Ghost's shell shifted to something that looked like a maniacal grin, "I really did find the right Guardian didn't I? It's data is fragmented, but I'm a hundred percent certain I can restore it. Once I download the digistruct code, I'll start work immediately. We'll be able to deploy it without the arm. It's gonna be awesome."
"So are we goin' or what?" Demanded the Titan, throwing up her hands.
Smiling wide under her helmet, Gaige replied, "'Kay."
GRIMOIRE:
BANDITS
NEW HAVEN FAREWELL ADDRESS
FINAL SPEECH FROM MAYOR HELENA PIERCE ONE DAY BEFORE EVACUATION
"Citizens of New Haven, I've come to address you today because... it's over.
"When our ancestors first came to Pandora in the Silver Age to be free from corporate masters, they faced the horrors of the Pandoran ecosystem. They prevailed against environmental hazards, and space faring pirates. They mined the eridium, and prospered. They were never rich, but they were strong and they were proud.
"Then the Second Collapse happened. The Vault Network all across the galaxy opened... and the Darkness came pouring out. You all know the hell that followed after. When the Vault's closed... the damage was done. The people closest to the anomalies were changed forever. Becoming the insane, murdering Darkness tainted monsters we all know and despise. We held against them for over three hundred years, losing settlement after settlement.
"It wasn't until the forces of Sanctuary arrived from beyond our system twenty years ago, that we received badly needed relief. They brought with them the Ghosts, raising our dead and putting the fight to the bandits like no one ever before. Despite these good deeds, they were always upfront about why they were here. To find the Vaults and kill the monsters that dwell within them. They never expected to find the few settlements holding out here and on the moon. To their credit, they've evacuated most of these towns and villages to Sanctuary itself, under the Light and protection of the Traveler.
"The one point of contention was when the Vanguard made themselves clear. Once the last Vault was dealt with, they would take Sanctuary and leave this system.
"We here in New Haven resisted this change. I know many of you felt this wasn't good enough. Why can't the Guardians stay? Why do they have to leave? Why should we give up our homes?
"The answer is simple. Pandora's not worth it.
"We may live here, but we know the hell of this world's wildlife and bandits. Every other settlement has either been destroyed, or did the smart thing and evacuated. Our defenses are at an all time low. The old walls we built are cracked and splintering everywhere. Most of our major defensive turrets have been destroyed from the yearly grind, our militia has been whittled down to a skeleton crew from attrition by combat and... desertion.
"To make matter worse, we've recently learned that the enemy is receiving additional forces from bandit fleets from other worlds contaminated by the Vaults. We cannot endure this onslaught any longer. It's time for us to leave. I ask you- no-
I beg you, when the evac shuttles arrive, come with me and get to the safety of Sanctuary.
Pandora is lost. It belongs to the bandits now.
Gaige squirmed as she sat in the lap of her new Warlock friend. She had held tight to her companion's hand as they transmatted inside one of a trio of jumpships that had been in orbit. After the initial untangling of limbs, they had awkwardly sorted themselves out.
"Er, could you be still, please? I kind of need to fly," said the Warlock as she took manual control of the ship.
"Sorr',"
"It's alright. Now let's see about this evacuation mission-" She was interrupted by the sudden high pitched beeping and sudden blaring of the colorful 'v' shaped symbol the Hunter had been wearing on the monitor. "Oh. That's never good."
She reached over Gaige and tapped the screen, and the stern face of an older woman filled the screen.
"All available Vanguard forces in the area, this is Sub-Commander Sloane. You are to drop all bounty activities immediately, and rendezvous to the New Haven settlement. We have a massive bandit incursion inbound. There are over a thousand souls still within New Haven, it will take time for our evac shuttles to get them all out. Fireteams One through Nine are to man the walls. Ten through Fifteen, you're on aerial interception for any hostile Vultures. Sixteen through Thirty, you're on Drake tank duty. I want any and all enemy vehicles that even look like they have ordnance to crack the walls to be destroyed. This is a critical operation with zero margin for error. Show no mercy, and give no ground. May the Light burn away the Darkness, Sloane out."
There was a long pause. Then Gaige's helmet crackled with radio static.
"I'm getting sat footage, y'all seein' this?" Rang out the voice of the Titan.
The Hunters dry tone followed, "... Gotta be honest, never seen a bandit horde that big before. Must be five to six hundred in there, dozens of runners and technical's. Lot more Vulture's than I'm comfortable dealing with too. Shit, I don't think I've ever seen this many bandits working together before."
The Warlock stiffened under Gaige, "Doesn't matter how many they, have. We have a job to do and lives to protect. Set a course for New Haven's wall." She moved her hand to Gaige's knee and gave it a squeeze. "You'll be able to see some action there, our forces will have occupied enough of the bandits to even things up for you. Don't want you getting overwhelmed after all."
"Th-th-thanks."
The comm was immediately filled with the Titan's voice, "Hey, hey, hey! Did I just hear our little kinderguardian say her first word?!"
"They grow up so fast. First talking, then dancing, and then they run off to unleash a hurricane of ultra violence."
Gaige could feel the Warlock under her suppressing a laugh, "Approaching New Haven, transmatting now."
There was a rush of light, and Gaige found herself standing on a wall that looked like it had been made of rusted scrap metal and desperation.
The Titan, the Hunter, and the Warlock were beside her. The Hunter reached out and patted her shoulder, "We're gonna go coordinate with the other fireteams and hammer out a defense strategy real quick. Stay here, keep an eye out and guard this part of the wall. And, uh... ah. Take this," he proceeded to digistruct an auto rifle and handed it to her. Gaige's helmet identified it as a Khvostov 7G-0X, a proud product of the Vladof corporation. "Be good, Gaige," he said as he wagged his finger at her, then walked off with the others to what looked like a makeshift command post.
"... H-h-how'd he kn-know m'name?" Gaige asked herself quietly.
Her Ghost proceeded to appear out of thin air, "Oh! I totally forgot! Guardians have this thing where they meet someone notable or just plain badass, their Ghosts slow down their perception and shows them with, like, a cool title card with captions, and neat background effects! I'll just enable that feature now."
Gaige nodded, "Cool. W-what was m-mine?"
Gaige's vision was immediately assaulted by a vision of herself- beautiful, with shimmering blue skin, yellow eyes and her trademark red pigtails, standing atop a pile of bandit corpses, while a group of attractive male and female cyborgs clung to her legs in lustful, reverent awe. A huge, dark mechanoid shadow loomed over her, illuminated only by a single glowing red eye.
GAIGE as...
THE MECHROMANCER
SMASH THE SYSTEM!
And then the vision faded, "Sweeeeeet. W-wait. Why'm I b-blue?"
Her Ghost twitched nervously. "W~ell... reconstructing centuries old DNA is, like, super hard and sometimes we just have to make it up as we go." Gaige raised her eyebrow beneath her her helmet. "Okay, real talk. I just really like the color blue, and I thought making you into an Awoken would be neat-o."
Before Gaige could ask what an 'Awoken' was, she was cut off by the a high pitched noise growing louder and louder. Turning towards the outside of the wall, she saw firsthand a barrage of rockets.
Heading straight toward her.
As she was standing on a scavenger's idea of a defense wall.
"Fuck."
The rockets slammed into the wall's armor underneath her. Gaige squawked in distress as the floor fell away and tumbled forward. Flipping end over end for three stories, she landed face first into the dirt. Gaige's Ghost quickly floated down, digistructed into her Light and began to repair her body.
Neck snapping back into place, Gaige rolled over and sat up. She saw plumes of dust, heralded by wild hooting and hollering of men wearing masks riding wheeled vehicles made from scavenged parts, wielding circular saws and guns of dubious construction.
Standing up, Gaige realized she was out in the open. On foot. Away from the other Guardians. By herself.
"Double fuck."
Somehow having kept hold of it in the fall, Gaige raised the auto rifle and took sited her target. Aiming at the tires, hoping to cause some chaos, she pulled the trigger... and hit the driver in the face. Which caused the runner to swerve into makeshift APC to it's left. Which caused it to flip onto it's side. Which caused a bandit holding a grenade inside to pull the pin. Which made it explode. Which made all the other grenades the other bandits had on them explode as well.
KRA-KA-KA-KOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The APC exploded, taking with it three other vehicles leaving death, pain, and the smell of burnt nachos in it's wake.
Gaige was still for a moment... and then pumped her arms high into the air in victory.
The moment didn't last long, as the other bandits recovered from the confusion and drove towards Gaige's position, realizing the threat she represented. Gaige readied herself, hoping she might pull off something just as utterly miraculous as her first salvo had been. Fortunately, she didn't have to.
"Yo, shorty! Heads up!"
Gaige looked up, and felt her perceptions slow down to a crawl as she saw her new Titan friend sail through the air overhead, and then the intro vision overtook her...
She saw a young woman with short blonde hair and haunted eyes hidden by a wide smile. She was punching a gigantic being made of living shadow in the belly, her fist trailing lightning as her other hand clutched a Torgue shotgun.
TINA as...
THE ROCKET TITAN
No longer tiny.
Tina descended upon the bandits like a bomb, landing in an explosion of lightning and thunder. Laughing, she proceeded to run dead center in the thickest formation of the runners. Without mercy, she punched each one as they tried to run her down or run past her, knocking them into each other and flipping them onto their backs.
"Geez, kid. What'd I tell ya?" A voice asked her from behind.
Turning, Gaige saw the Hunter amble up next to her, seemingly without a care in the world. Gaige's perception slowed down once again as another intro vision appeared before her.
Sitting idly by cocking a pistol as he was surrounded by enemies, she saw the Hunters face. It was clearly mechanical and painted green, but adorned with a silver sergeant's stripe above his left eye. She thought she saw a silver ring hanging on a chain upon his neck, but couldn't be certain.
AXTON-9 as...
THE TURRETSLINGER
Sometimes, to be awesome, we must also be stupid.
"Ah, well. Can't really blame ya. Us Guardians are just naturally attracted to destruction and heroic last stands. Miracle we've lasted this long, to be honest," he said as he threw down a box... which digistructed into giant turret that immediately began to fire large caliber rounds, and volleys of mini-rockets.
Already expecting what would come next, Gaige turned back to the ruined section of the wall. She was greeted by the sight of her Warlock friend gently descending through the air...
This time, Gaige was fully ready for the intro.
A lovely young woman with hair draped over one eye with the sides of her head shaved to make way for cybernetics, was wreathed in circuit-like neon lines around her. Most tellingly, bright blue tattoos shown through her clothes, beginning at her foot and all the way up her neck...
ANGEL as...
THE SIREN
Likes: Cuddling, long walks through bookstores, and vengeance.
"Okay, team! Other fireteams will be covering us from the wall! Our job is to plug this gap, and make sure nothing gets through," Angel said as she manifested wings of void light and touched the ground. A large circle of purple energy appeared around the three Guardians. "Gaige! Stay here in the Rift with me! It'll boost your abilities and weapons! Axton, go get Tina before she overextends herself. We'll give you covering fire! Go!"
Axton nodded and took off, firing rounds into any stray bandits that Tina left behind.
Gaige felt a hand on her forearm. She looked up and locked eyes with Angel's visor.
"You ready for this?" She asked.
Inhaling, Gaige smiled, and answered clearly and without stuttering, "I was reborn ready for this."
With one last jab of arc fueled punching, Tina totaled the last of the vehicles that had been about to swarm the newbie. Looking from side to side, she narrowed her eyes. "If I know anything about stinkin' bandits, they should be coming right about..."
A chorus of war cry's and profanity erupted from the dust cloud the runners left behind.
"Now," she smiled as she digistructed a Torgue shotgun and began firing volleys of tiny mini-rockets into the crowd of oncoming Psycho's. "I love it when they're too stupid to scatter!"
Suddenly, she felt bullets impacting her shield. Instinctively, she brought up a large rectangular barrier made of Light. "An' I friggin' hate it when their gunners outflank me," She grumbled.
Switching over to a Maliwan SMG, Tina began setting marauders to her left ablaze, charged an arc grenade in her left hand and threw it to her right. Just in time for a trio of psycho's to come barreling through her shield. Growling, she decapitated the one in the lead with a fist blazing with lightning, then with one-two punch, killed the second. The third got through and buried his buzz-saw axe in her shoulder. Screaming in pain and rage, Tina reached forward and grasped the psycho's head and crushed it like a grape.
It was at this moment, as he Ghost began to repair the damage to her shoulder, Tina's barrier decided to give out.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" She yelled. Bringing up the SMG again, Tina laid suppressing fire against the thickest of the marauders.
The familiar sound of pulse rifle fire rang out behind her. Bandits left and right began to die in groups as their head came apart. Tina scowled behind her helmet as she continued to fire.
"Don't say it," she growled.
The sound of Axton's synthesized voice hummed behind her, "Y'know, this reminds me..."
"Don't say it."
"Of something ol' Shaxx said after a Crucible match..."
"Ho, don't do it."
"About a certain Titan..."
"Oh, my god."
"Who, while amazing at clash and decent at supremacy, never fails to bungle up control matches by running out ahead of her team and forgetting the objective. He said that he never knew a Titan better at sheer unmitigated destruction, and she would be utterly unstoppable if only she could would to stick with her team and not to rush in head first."
"... Sorry."
Axton threw a grenade, splitting into a dozen little bomblets and began causing merry hell against the bandits around them. "I know you went to the Wei Ning seminars and took it all to heart, but come on, Tina."
"I was on an epic kill streak!"
"You were, but staying with your team is more important. Now let's get back to the newbie, Angel will be annoyed if we leave her to cover the kid all by herself."
Tina laughed as she downed another marauder with SMG fire, "She might be happier if we leave the two of them alone."
"Huh?"
"You didn't notice she was pretty cuddly with her?"
"Or it's just Angel bein' Angel. She's nice like that. You see pairings everywhere."
"Nuh uh, my gaydar was off the charts, son! Besides, I'm always right! Who was the only one who predicted Shaxx would hook up with his wife?"
"... You did," he replied as he stopped firing and looked for more targets.
Looking from side to side, Tina noticed a lack of moving bandits. "Was that all of 'em?"
"The wave that headed in this direction at least."
A deafening roar erupted out of what remained of the dust cloud and...
A gigantic fur covered skag with fangs the size of claymores, and claws the size of limousines dragging by thick heavy chains what had once been a yellow school hover-bus full of Badass Psycho's and marauders, all of which surrounded by a background of fire and flying bits of meat.
SKAG-ALICIOUS
"Hey, wouldn't it be rad if we crossed a honey badger with a skag?"
-Some asshole in DAHL
The monstrosity and it's cargo barreled past them at top speed... heading directly for the breach in the wall.
"... You saw the black and yellow skull attached to it's name right?"
"Oh, yeah."
"So, uh... how much trouble will we get in if it gets out that we brought a newbie to fight a Strike-class monster and a bunch of its minions?" Axton asked.
Tina digistructed her gun back into her inventory both of them and took off in a dead run back towards the wall. "Worse than when we accidentally burnt up Eva's banner inventory!"
Axton winced. "It'll take a miracle for her not to get ended before we get there," Axton grumbled under her breath.
The voice of Gaige's Ghost raised itself above the sound of gunfire, "Hey, Gaige! Guess what?! I was sifting through your ECHO data, and I turned your anarchy stack abilities back on!"
Gaige fired at the few bandits who survived Tina's initial onslaught and emptied the clip. "Wait, did I forget to load up on ammo?"
"Don't worry!" Said her Ghost. "As long as you're around enemies as they expire, I can turn their last gasps of Light into ammo! I'll just make them look like glowing boxes, and if you move over them and I'll put them into our inventory."
Gaige pulled out the clip to her Khvostov, and felt it become heavy as Light made bullets digistructed into it. "Awesome," she said with a smile as she slapped it back in. With dark glee, she saw the first anarchy stack display itself on her HUD. "Anarchy FOREVER!"
Spraying the two marauders left, she smiled as her missed shots bounced off the ground and- mostly- hit their targets.
Behind her helmet, Angel blinked at what her HUD was showing her. "Did you just make bullets bounce off the dirt?"
"Anything is possible when you can hack your guns Light based physics engine!" Gaige exclaimed as the bandits were torn to shreds by ricochets.
And then there was silence. Angel looked around, the dust cloud was beginning to disperse just a bit. "Okay, I think that was all of them. Let me show you the Warlock glide jump, so we can get back up on the wall."
Smiling, Gaige lowered her gun. "Cool..." Then her smile fell from her face and looked to the top of the wall. "Weren't we supposed to have help from fireteams up there?"
"... Yes. We were." Angel tapped the side of her helmet, "Angel to wall fireteams. Kindly inform me where our fire support was." She asked with a cold tone.
A voice crackled on the radio, "Sorry, sorry! They're trying the same shit on the opposite wall! You might be on your own for a while!"
"Copy that," Angel sighed. Suddenly another voice cut in.
"Hey, hey! Angelcakes! You got big trouble heading your way!" Yelled out the voice of Tina.
"She ain't kiddin'! Strike boss giant skag-thing with badass psycho's dragging behind it!" Axton added.
Angel was silent for a moment, then held out her hands in a calming gesture, "... Okay, here's how to glide; simply jump a little into the air, then channel a tiny bit of your Light through your feet and let it carry yo-"
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!
Her hands clenched into fists, "-son of a biscuit. Weapons out, keep moving, and stay near me!"
Turning toward the sound of the roar, Gaige saw the great beast. After the intro was over in her eyes, she stared agape. "Skag-alicious? Really? And what's a honey badger?"
Angel proceeded to grab Gaige by the collar and dragged her into a run. "More running, less commentary!"
Skag-alicious skidded to a halt as it came to New Haven's wall. Carried by it's momentum, the hover bus passed the great skag and crashed into the wall. Out of it's wreckage, came seven large, horribly deformed men wearing masks and wielding large pipes. "COME AND GET YOUR MEAT COOKIES, AND HELP MAKE A RIB CAGE HOUSE! DONATIONS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!" One of them yelled.
Gaige instinctively opened fire into them. The psycho's charged, screaming in pain and glee. Getting in a lucky shot, Gaige managed to ricochet a round through one's eye-hole, instantly killing him.
Not feeling like it should be left out, Skag-alicious decided to run around to cut off Angel and Gaige's path, hoping to sate it's hunger with fresh human meat. Hacking up something awful and nasty, it showed the skag species horrible tendency to both projectile vomit and defecate out of the same hole.
Yanking Gaige to the side, Angel prevented the projectile from striking them. Glancing at the mess as it sizzled on the ground, Angel cursed under her breath, and made a decision. "Gaige, I'm going to need you to keep those bandits busy. I'll engage the giant skag long enough for Tina and Axton to get here."
"Got it!" Gaige nodded and circled around Angel, firing into the psycho's once more.
Steeling herself, Angel ran straight toward the great skag's wide open maw.
"Perfect," She said with a smile.
Angel charged her fist with a massive amount of void Light, and released it straight toward Skag-alicious' wide open mouth.
VRAAAA-BAM!
SKREEEEEEEEE! Screamed the skag as it crashed to it's side. Shaking it's head from side-to-side in a desperate attempt to shake off the burning void energy. Eventually, it dissipated, leaving smoldering mouth flesh in it's wake. Huffing, Skag-alicious got back up to it's feet, deciding not to care about the pain... as long as it could kill the one who hurt it.
Bringing up it's massive claws, it took a heavy swipe at Angel. The Siren, anticipating something like this, proceeded to jump directly over Skag-alicious in a Light assisted flip. Landing directly behind it, she threw a void grenade into it's armored hide... and briefly despaired as it did nothing more than blacken it's plate.
Breathing heavily, Angel exclaimed, "Where are those Drake tanks?!"
"Hey, wanna take out those droves of bandits by doing donuts?"
"DO I?!"
The beast turned a furious eye on Angel, tensing for a lethal pounce on the accursed tiny being before it.
Angel readied a golden pulse rifle from her inventory, and prepared herself to run and gun as the best she could.
Unfortunately for Skag-alicious, it was rudely interrupted from it's vengeance by SMG and scout rifle fire hitting it from it's side. It turned it's head to the new challengers growling and hissing in utter fury.
"Sorry we're late! The kid still alive?" Axton's voice rang out on the comm.
"Only if she gets support! Give her some cover! Tina we're on the skag!"
She could practically hear Tina's smile as she replied, "Hell yes, boss fight!"
"Kid seems capable, I'm sure she'll be fine when I get there." Axton said as Angel began pelting Skag-alicious' eyes with pulse rifle rounds.
"GYAAAA!" Gaige screamed as she dodged a psycho's heavy pipe sailing over her head.
Her clip empty, Gaige reacted on pure instinct. That is to say she reached up to the deformed crouching bandit's head, and slapped him in the face. To her shock (AN: hehe), her hand emitted lightning and decapitated the man.
The cheerful voice of Gaige's Ghost piped up in her head, "Wow! You just channeled arc energy on your first try! That's really rare for a Warlock!"
"THAT'S REALLY INTERESTING AND ALL, BUT RIGHT NOW I'M TRYING NOT TO DIE!" She yelled as she dodged strikes from the remaining five psychos, silently thanking her mother for making her attend the best gymnastic classes on Eden-5.
"Oh, right. Ooh! Maybe try forming an arc grenade?"
"How?!" Gaige demanded as she took a spare moment to reload her gun.
"Just channel your Light into your hand and throw it!"
Running ahead of the psychos. Gaige held out her new flesh and blood hand- which was still super weird for her- and tried to imagine her Light gathering in her palm. Pale blue energy with strings of lightning appeared, trailing up her arm and into her fingertips.
"Throw it! Throw it!" Insisted her Ghost.
Gaige obliged, casting her arm out towards the pursuing bandits. A pale blue orb leapt from her hand and into their center, exploding and sending powerful arcs of Light enhanced electricity into two of their mutated bodies. One, already weakened from bullet wounds, immediately died, while another barely limped away. The limping one, presumably about to yell something about meat and mother issues, was mercifully put down by a sudden large caliber round to the head.
Axton's confident voice filled her ears, "Hey, kid! We thought you'd like some help, but it looks like you got most of them. How about we wrap it up and go help the others?"
"Sounds great!" Gaige replied. Looking at the psychos, she could see they being distracted by scout rifle fire. These three still seemed strong and ready for more, and didn't favor her chances of getting by them to Axton's position unharmed. "Really need something to finish them off for good..." She mumbled under her breath.
"Oh, but we do!" Cackled her Ghost.
Gaige paused, "Wait, you're not talking about...?"
"He's ready for his grand debut! Just make the arm movement, and speak one of your pre-programmed activation phrases, and I'll digistruct him right away!"
Laughing diabolically, Gaige reached out her hand, and said, "GET 'EM, BOY!"
A pillar of light appeared before her, and out of it... came a dark hulking figure made of metal. It bore two massive arms ending in powerful claws, attached to a floating legless torso. Atop it's shoulders, was a comparatively diminutive head, with a single ominously glowing eye. "DEATHTRAP: ONLINE." It spoke with a deep booming voice.
The terrible machine's eye moved to look at where the bandits where being peppered by Axton's scout rifle.
"ENEMY DESIGNATION: ASSHOLE. ASSHOLES ACTIVELY THREATENING THE MISTRESS. COMMENCING ANTI-BULLYING COUNTERMEASURES."
At surprising speed, Deathtrap glided toward them, throwing a brutal hay-maker into the closest one to it. As the psycho was dazed, the robot grabbed him by the neck and his huge deformed arm... and pulled him apart.
The remaining two, now realizing the true threat, began to hit Deathtrap with their heavy pipes.
"... I never gave him a voice module." Said Gaige as she watched the slaughter with a raised eyebrow.
"I know, I took some creative liberties!" Chirped her Ghost.
"Like what?"
Suddenly, the plates on Deathtrap's right arm shifted, and a chainsaw sprang out. As it whirred to life, he brought it down atop a psycho's head and all the way down into his waistline.
"Like that."
"... Ghost. I think I love you."
"Oh, I love you, too!"
Setting off into a jog, Gaige ran around the carnage and approached Axton's position.
"That robot yours?" He asked.
"Yep! Built him myself!" Gaige said with a proud smile.
They looked on as Deathtrap retracted his chainsaw, threw the last bandit into the ground, and began to pummel the psycho into paste.
"Huh. Can't wait to see you bring it to the Crucible." Axton rubbed the chin of his helmet. "Although, it might get banned. That's what happened when Tina brought in her monster truck."
"The Cruci-what?"
Shaking his head, Aton replied, "Never mind. We'll show you when we get back home. Now lets go see how how our friends are doing."
With surprising speed, Skag-alicious smacked Angel into the ground, crushing her to death instantaneously.
Frowning, Tina groaned, "Fucking shit balls."
The Titan digistructed a rocket launcher, took aim at the skag monster and fired into it's belly. Roaring in outrage, Skag-alicious lifted it's paw off the Angel pancake and turned it's attention to to Tina... only to find that she had already launched herself into the air, fist arcing with electricity directly into it's eye.
SPLORCH!
Removing her fist from the ruined eyeball, Tina jumped off it's face. Running around Skag-alicious as it screamed and thrashed in pain, she came to where Angel's Ghost was in the process of reviving her from the current state of beingground pizza. Lending the Ghost a bit of her own Light, Angel's body evaporated and reappeared, healthy and whole once more. "Thank you, Tina." She said with a sigh.
Nodding, Tina smiled, "I got you, no worries. Any plan on taking him dow- OH SHIT, HE'S COMING THIS WAY!"
Skag-alicious, beyond pissed at the loss of its eye, came charging at them once more. The two Guardians sprinted away as it's claws came at them with savage slashes.
Still running from the furious beast, Tina picked up where she left off. "So about that plan?!"
Angel thought for moment as she side stepped another claw attack. Then an idea came to her. "I have one! But I need it to hold still, and get it's mouth open! You stay with me, but we're going to need someone to buy us our opening!" Activating her comm, she contacted Axton, "Are you two done yet?! We need help if we're going to finish this thing anytime soon!"
"We sure are. In fact, we got a new friend to show 'im!"
In the distance, Angel could see Axton and Gaige flanking... some form of heavy metal death-bot. "Say hello to Deathtrap! My sweet baby boy!" Came the sound of the new Warlock's voice.
"Okay, I can work with this! Gaige, can you get your robot to lock up the skag's legs?"
"Sure thing!"
Dodging another swipe, Angel continued, "Axton, I need you to deploy your turret and to pour everything it has into its underside!"
"Got it!'
"Tina! Once it's mouth is open, Efrideet special!"
Tina, who had been running with her every step of the way, audibly gasped. "HELL FUCKING YEAH! Just in time, too! I'm fully recharged, baby!"
Angel proceeded to alter course and headed to Gaige and Axton's position. "Okay, if everyone's ready... GO!"
Deathtrap flew past Angel and Tina, towards Skag-alicious. "ENEMY DESIGNATION: BIG ASSHOLE. ENGAGING RESTRAINING MANEUVERS."
The skag, in no mood for another contender, smacked the robot a fair distance away. Slowing to a halt in mid-air, Deathtrap took half a second to run a diagnostic. Where Skag-alicious had hit, there was a sizable dent. Feeling... annoyed, Deathrap clenched it's claws.
"RE-DESIGNATING ENEMY: MOTHERFUCKER."
For the second time, he flew at the monster. And when the skag raised it's monstrous claw for another strike, Deathtrap dodged beneath it, going straight for the left hind leg. With all of it's strength, he began to drag the skag mutant back inch by inch. Skag-alicious began to dig it's front claws into the ground before it, trying to stop the unwanted reversal.
"Axton! Now's your chance!" Shouted Angel as she fired at Skag-alicious' remaining eye, hoping to keep the monster's attention divided.
Getting into position, Axton threw down his turret... and charged it with the Light of the Sun. Unfolding, wreathed in flames, the turret began firing burning rockets and bullets into Skag-alicious' unprotected belly.
And, as Angel predicted, it opened it's great mouth wide and screamed.
"TINA, NOW!"
As one, both Guardians lifted into the air. Angel, grabbing Tina by the ankles, spun her around mid-air and released her into the direction of the monster. Tina, for her part, unleashed the Fists of Havoc. Crackling through the air and trailing arc energy, Tina landed directly into Skag-alicious' mouth.
BOOM!
The screaming increased in pitch as the shocking pain began short-circuiting it's brain. Skag-alicious shook it's head furiously in a desperate attempt to get the Titan out. Tina braced her her feet against the sides of it's vertical jaw, grabbed hold of it's giant tongue with one arm, and began to use it's uvula as a punching bag with the other.
All the while, Tina was laughing. It was shaping up to be a good day for her.
And then she felt it's throat shaking and contracting. The laughter stopped. She knew what that meant.
The day was attempting to shapeshift into a bad day.
Picking up the speed in her punches, Tina growled low and angry, "Don't you dare! Don't you freaking da-!"
Skag-alicious promptly spat out Tina with something horrible and unspeakable sizziling against her Torso. The Titan flew, flew, and flew... until she hit New Haven's wall, breaking her neck.
Angel groaned in frustration, "Fudge! That should have killed it! I'll go revive Tina! Gaige, open fire into it's mouth while it's still pinned!"
Gaige, having been remotely operating Deathtrap's on board repair systems with the help of her Ghost, threw a thumbs up to Angel as the Siren ran to Tina's corpse. The young Warlock again aimed her Khvostov and opened fire into Skag-alicious.
The great beast, refusing to die like this, finally managed to shake off Deathtrap with final kick. Looking about with it's one good eye, it decided to go after the easiest target. Which, unfortunately for her, was Gaige.
With one final charge, Skag-alicious ran at her with all the might remaining in it's body.
For her part, Gaige felt no fear. As she poured round after round into the charging monster, her smile never left her face. Today had been amazing for her, despite all the chaos. She had made friends, gotten superpowers, become effectively immortal, and even got to see ol' Deathtrap upgraded! No matter how much turmoil there had been, she had felt at peace with how it had all gone. She felt like... like... the calm in the center of the storm...
... And that was how Gaige fell into her very first Stormtrance.
Lifting up into the air not unlike her beloved robot, Gaige cackled. Acting on instinct, she digistructed her rifle away, raised her hands... and released arcs of lightning into the beast. Skag-alicious screamed as it was once again electrocuted and fell heavily to it's side, limbs thrashing in agony. The young warlock aimed one hand at it's mouth, and the other at it's injured belly. She increased the voltage, and sent more, and more, and more lightning into it's already smoldering wounds.
At long last, she descended to the ground, the storm spent.
Skag-alicious lay there, unmoving. It breathed in painful, erratic bursts.
Then Tina's voice burst onto the radio,"Okay! Tina's back in the ga-! And it's already down for the count. What did I miss?"
Axton, already walking up to Gaige, laughed as he replied, "The newbie just went full Stormcaller on it's ass. Finished the job." He reached up and held out his fist. Gaige smiled, and raised her own and bumped it. "A strike boss on your first day. People'll be talking about this one for a long time to come. Longer if ya keep at it."
"I'll try, in my own stumbling way," Gaige answered with a cocky smile.
Angel and Tina jogged up to their position, and watched Skag-alicious dying breaths with them.
Digistructing her helmet into her inventory, Tina rubbed her hands with glee, "Here comes the best part!"
Angel raised her hand with her index finger out, "She means the part where a powerful enemy's Light gives out, and turns into physical data in the form of an engram. A cryptarch can decode one into a variety of arms and armor."
"It's a dice roll, but more often than not, you end up with good shit," said Axton.
Following Tina's lead, Gaige removed her own helmet as well, "Oh, like a loot system, right?"
"Here it comes, here it comes!" Tina shouted.
With one final breath, Skag-alicious went still. All was silent, until... a colorful rainbow of glimmer and engrams erupted from it's corpse. Gaige saw white, green, blue, and even purple dodecahedrons fly through the air. Gaige, held out her arms, hoping to catch one. Finally, one fell right into her arms.
Gaige looked down... at thebright yellow engram that she had caught.
Tina's mouth dropped open. "... What kinda bullshit beginner's luck..."
Axton stared agape as he held two blue engrams, "I see it, but I can't believe it..."
"I take it I got the good one?" Gaige asked with a grin.
Angel removed her helmet, and smiled. "Oh, wow. An exotic engram on your first loot drop? That is amazingly lucky, Gaige! Here, crypto-archaelogy is a hobby of mine, let me unlock it for you."
Gaige held it out the engram, and Angel began pulling at it's edges and twisting until it began to unravel... into some kind of monstrous gatling gun auto rifle hybrid.
Angel clapped her hands together, "Good one. Anybody else want theirs unlocked?"
Tina began to rub the top of Gaige's head.
"Uh... whatcha doin', Tina?" Axton asked.
Not stopping, Tina replied, "Rubbing the lucky kinderguardian for good engram unlocks, duh."
"Seriously?" Gaige grumbled under her breath.
"Lemme get in on that action!" Axton exclaimed as his hand reached out and joined Tina's on the Mechromancer's head. "Come on, I need me a new cape to infuse into my good ones!"
Gaige's Ghost piped in, "Hey, everyone! I just got the all clear signal from the Vanguard! Looks like the civilians have all been evacuated. The glimmer for this mission has already been transferred into your accounts. Also, as a bonus for taking down Skag-alicious, you are all being offered purple level Vanguard chest pieces!"
Gaige raised her hand.
"And I already made an account for you, boss! Don't worry, you got paid."
The Mechromancer jumped into the air and pumped her fist. "Yes! Money and loot!'
Angel tried but failed to suppress a giggle, "Alright, let's get these engrams unlocked. Then we finally can go home."
Transmatting once again into an awkward position in Angel's ship, Gaige realigned herself from being upside down to being in her new friends lap once more.
Shifting into a more comfortable position in her seat, Angel said, "We really need to get you your own jumpship. And a Sparrow network subscription too, now that I think of it. Oh! And some weapons and armor as well while we're at it."
"Uh... how much will that all cost me?" Asked Gaige as she felt the spiritually dampening effect of knowing that a recently acquired amount of money was to be viciously subtracted.
"It should the ship and the Sparrow, if you go over... I'll cover it. It'll be my way of apologizing for getting you into that mission. That... wasn't how I wanted you get your first taste of Guardian life."
Gaige laughed and tapped Angel's nose, briefly causing the the Siren to go cross-eyed. "Ah, don't worry about it! It was fun! Got the hang of all these superpowers and everything."
Angel's face flushed and she quickly turned her eyes back to the ship's HUD. She hit a few switches, and the stars gave way to the rainbow of colors as the jump drive activated. "Yes, you did very, very well. I take it you're well used to combat.?"
A brief frown flickered across Gaige's face. "Yeah, me and Deathtrap spent a couple years running around Pandora, doing jobs, outrunning bounty hunters, fighting the wildlife. It was... okay. Not great, but I was good at it. Went alright until... well, you saw where I ended up."
"A lot of Pandoran Guardians story begins that way. You're not alone, for what it's worth," Angel said in a comforting tone. "Tina, for example, was born and raised for the first thirteen years of her life there."
"I think I just wanna see this Sanctuary place you've all been talking about. I'm actually getting pretty hyped."
The console suddenly beeped, and Angel allowed herself a smile."We're coming up on Sanctuary now."
The viewscreen's show of the kaleidoscope colors of jumpspace suddenly ended... and was filled with something that made Gaige's mouth drop. Before her was the image of a smooth grey planetoid, devoid of any visible geography, imperfections, or any blemishes. "Is that... an entirely articificial planet?" Gaige gasped.
Angel held out a hand as she gestured at it. "This... was the last thing the Traveler made before the First Collapse. Its home, its safe place, its stronghold," Angel let out a small laugh. "Its Sanctuary."
The radio crackled,"Welcome home, Angel dear. Transmatting you inside in ten."
"Copy that." Angel turned to Gaige. "That was my old friend Felicity. She's an AI I pieced back together a long time ago. Now she's taken an exo body and runs Sanctuary's ship traffic."
Within seconds, a flash of light engulfed them... and they were inside Sanctuary.
For the first time in her life, Gaige beheld the Traveler.
She saw it's great outer shell, broken and cracked, but somehow still... strong.
She also saw the landscape around it... and how it curved all the way around.
"HOLY SHIT BALLS, IT'S A DYSON SPHERE!"
END OF CHAPTER 1.
Author's Notes: Originally posted on the Space Battles forum in snippets, I will assemble completed chapters here. Probably do some fixes while I'm at it.