Story: A Little Piece of Heaven
Summary: Sometimes, when we give in too much by the word 'reality', everything, even our happiness, becomes an illusion. That's where 'regret' enters in our life when we start sacrificing.
Story Rating: K+
Warning: Might become OOC in some points due to character growth. Also, this is also a sequel to "A Little Bit Longer"
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis. =)
Not everything good that happens in our life is made of pure happiness.
It can come from our own sufferings and sacrifices that are made from our sadness.
It's my entire fault that you're suffering so much now, Ryoma-kun.
Before, I can still see the light of happiness hugging your face. But now, the darkness that I tried to avoid is starting to wash away that happiness, all because of the pain that I induced when this 'thing' happened to me. I thought I can make that happiness devour you completely, yet I didn't make it on time. And I guess I even made it worse.
Inside that white room, all I wanted to say is your name. My paralyzed hands desired to hold yours just like what you did before, and my stable feet attempted to walk on the tiled floor. My searching eyes strived against my heavy lids, as to face the light of the fluorescent lamp shining above me. But, all of my tries went to a straight failure.
Everything around me became dark.
I felt the strike of fear, anxiety and pain as my cold tears raced down through my cheeks. All that I can manage is to pray—pray for a last chance to live, and tell how much I love you. I wanted to enjoy the light with your presence, so that the darkness around us might cease and the people hovering us might understand us better.
But I know that my ambitions will never ever take place in this world.
I'm barely noticed, and it's too impossible to be with you, Ryoma-kun. I know that you will never love me. That's why I thought that there's no need for me to tell you my real situation—that I'm already dying from a disease called *Lupus since when I met you.
Ryoma-kun, do you still remember the first time we met? Maybe you already forgot, but I wanted to reminisce all of my memories before losing everything.
I can still vividly remember the day when you saved me from the bully who kept on swinging his racket inside the train. You stopped him by telling how noisy he is, which led to an unofficial match between the two of you. Unexpectedly, you won despite your height's difference from him.
It's the same day that you made me admire you, Ryoma-kun. And for the first time, I felt a spurt of inspiration growing inside me.
"Who are you?"
Those are the words that you told me the next time we met. All that I can do is to cover my face with both of my hands in order to hide the flash of embarrassment that's painting my face. I do not know how, but I'm very glad that after that incident, somehow you remembered even my surname. Maybe it's because of my grandma's surname, am I right?
By the way—when did you know that I am Obaa-chan's granddaughter? Hmm…
Ah! Maybe you knew it when she asked you to take me to the racket stringer. Remembering the happenings in that day is already enough to make my face flush with red. I feel so stupid at that time—why should I even pull out a conversation if I already know that you're always silent? You asked me why I am being too talkative, and all that I can do is to run away in tears. I'm very stupid, right? But when you followed me and offered me a can of our favorite juice, I felt that… this kindness should be reciprocated.
Everything that I can do for you at that time is to cook some food that you might like. I'm overflowing with happiness, since everytime I offer you those lunches, you accept and eat them immediately.
Little by little, I learned that there's something more than cooking food for you. I watched almost all of your matches, silently praying that our team will certainly win—wishing that you'll win without any injuries. It even came to the point that I did such embarrassing things—hopping towards the court for the second time just to tend your injury, and even wearing a cheering attire because of my bestfriend. In the end, I'll gain all of my courage just to greet you a "Congratulations" for everything that you've won.
There are times that misfortune keeps on following me, just like what happened when we are in the middle of a match with Josei Shounan. Three girls came towards my bestfriend and me, and then started to bully us by pulling my hair. My bestfriend tried to protect me, but it isn't enough. Good thing that you suddenly came and saved us.
I will never forget the times whenever I wish good luck for you, especially before you left for the US Open. I tried to think over the things that are happening, but I knew that I can do nothing about your departure. Yet, I managed to do something. Even if the sad atmosphere surrounded everyone, they managed to cheer you up until the end. I thought that I should also do something about it, which made me come up with an idea.
Giving you a tennis ball imprinted with "No. 1!" and wishing you my last "Fight-o, Ryoma-kun!"—those are the last things that I did for you before you left for the US Open.
I wonder if any of those helped you even the tiniest bit.
Years passed by and you came back here at Japan. To my surprise, we studied and graduated at the same university. You didn't changed that much—you still seem too uninterested at other people, who kept on following you because of your fully developed handsome face and cool demeanor. I'm very thankful that you did not forget me at that time… when I'm about to die…
I promised myself that whatever may happen, I will still tell you how much I love you, Ryoma-kun. Even if you don't feel the same way too, I still will.
And unexpectedly, that day came.
Unwanted and unfaithful—that's how I will describe it.
The white and cold snow started to shower us from the heavens, pouring either comfort or disgrace. I raced through the thick layer of snow with a smile brightening my pale face—even if this day is unwanted, I'll still keep it in my chest so lovingly for this might be the first and last time that I will be able to celebrate two birthdays at once—your birthday and mine.
I stopped for a while since I can already feel the slowing of the beat of my heart. It's too hard to breathe on thin air, I suddenly thought. Standing under a lit street lamp, I thought about myself. Will I… survive this struggle if I can feel that I only have a few hours left?
My hands clasped together as I shut my eyes closed. Please Kami-sama, let me live just this last day. Let me live until I can tell him… my true feelings…
I took out my phone and checked if there are any messages or phone calls. Suddenly, a happy expression spread across my features when I heard a few footsteps coming; I looked at you with my eyebrows scrunched up and planned to apologize, but your enthusiastic face made me stop. All I can do is to smile back, fumble in my pocket for a little box and took out my small gift.
"Happy Birthday, Ryoma-kun." I murmured.
Your lips stretched to a smile and said a simple but meaningful "Thank You."
Engaged in a long conversation, we trudged the sidewalk with different colors vibrating on our faces. Those colors reminded me of what I wanted to do before—I wanted to tell you how much I love you, Ryoma-kun… but I thought that it won't be reciprocated in any shape or any dimension, all because your surroundings are too dark, and I can't see through you.
I hoped that somehow, for the last time, that darkness will be converted to light and I will be able to see whatever lies in you. That's why I told you these words:
You know, Ryoma-kun, sometimes we do not see the truth that is hiding within a person because his surroundings are too dark. That's why I loved the light so much.
Maybe it's too silly for me to suddenly explain myself to you, Ryoma-kun, but I wanted to know everything about you.
I'm very happy because that darkness somehow faded. I'm very glad that we painted the earlier part of our day with pure happiness, Ryoma-kun. But…
Not everything good that happens in our life is made of pure happiness.
It can come from our own sufferings and sacrifices that are made from our sadness.
That's why I decided not to tell you my real feelings, for I thought that it will just mess up everything. Through the conversation, I thought that you're already happy in your life; that you're already contented with what you have, living without any regrets and giving up whatever should be sacrificed. If you just know how you inspired me so much.
At that brink moment, you radiated your own, yet new kind of light to me.
You taught me how to smile in a different way, and how to love the light more than ever. Ryoma-kun, I wanted to know how you radiate so much light towards me, and how you made me feel shining even just for myself. You are my very own light… That's why I love the light so much, Ryoma-kun.
Sorrow. Anguish. Regret. Those three words suddenly struck the wholeness of me as my inside started to quiver in miserable pain. Suddenly, the thin air became harder to grasp, and my feet struck to the ground as if I'm rooted on the ground.
I… I can't move.
Kami-sama, why?
The surroundings changed its angle as I fought against my heavy eyelids. All I wanted is to be with you, Ryoma-kun, yet from the start it's already… pointless. But, I don't want to die yet. My mind changed its path—I wanted to tell you how much I love you, Ryoma-kun! I really want to… I really want to tell you!
But, the coldness of the snow that pierced through my skin made my lips froze.
Why?
Ryoma-kun…
"Ryuzaki? Ryuzaki!"
I can hear his voice calling out to me.
I can feel the warm and firm grip of his hand with mine.
And, I can still feel my tears flowing down through my cheeks.
All I wanted to have is a little bit longer time in order to tell you, but I didn't have it.
Instead, all I owned at that moment is my little piece of heaven, where you held my hand as if telling me not to go.
THE END
A/N: Oh, hi there guys! ^_^ I know it's been three months. Haha. I had to finish school stuff, that's why I'm MIA. XD I'm sorry if the theme is sad once more, for this is a sequel to my fanfic "A Little Bit Longer".
*Lupus – a disease that can be life-long or not, which mainly attacks the immune system of the body
By the way, is this a comeback? Hahaha! Yes, it is! XD I'm assuring you now of twice updates every month. =D Lol. I can feel the lump inside my throat—my head is eating me! GAAAH help! XD I think I'm losing a lot of plot bunnies now. Hn, hn… XDD I'll be back next time, together with DOTR18. =D
VERY VERY VERY Belated Happy Birthday, Sakuno!
Welcome back to me! XDD
Ja'ne, minna!
rookie-chan