1. I will not insist that Neji, Hinata, Ino and Gaara are logically blind because they have no pupils.
2. I will not insist that all ninjas are Jesus just because they can walk on water.
3. I understand that touching Kakashi's mask without first washing my hands is a felony.
4. I will not tell gullible genin that the Forest of Death's true name is Ben Dover Forest, but they had to change the name so that horny teenagers would stay away.
5. I will also not tell those same gullible genin that when Tsunade yells at you, she is secretly and subtly telling you to grab her chest.
6. I will not sing Gaara a lullaby.
7. I will not feed Naruto any sugar or caffeine.
8. I understand that calling Chouji by his literal name is gay. (It's "Butterfly" just so you know.)
9. I will not check to see if that is really Sakura's true hair color.
10. I will not check to see if any of Sasuke's other hair defies gravity.
11. When speaking of Naruto's chakra level, I will never exclaim anything along the lines of "It's over nine thoooooouuuusaaaaaaand!"
12. I will not destroy Naruto's godforsaken orange jumpsuit. He'd only find a worse one. (Neon pink perhaps?)
13. I will not complain about the fact that no one in Konoha has an illegimate child and/or an evil twin.
14. I will stop insisting that Ino and Deidara are long lost sisters.
15. I will not serve Kiba dog food when he comes over my house.
16. I will not talk to a ninja when we are battling, for fear that I will induce him to go into a flash back and talk about his old dog 'Sparky', while crying in a blinding sunset not unlike Lee and Gai.
17. I will not read any of Jiraiya's books ever.
18. I am aware that using Gaara's sand as kitty litter is basically suicide.
19. I will not try to cross breed members of blood limit clans to get a new type of blood limit.
-On that note, I'm aware that there will never be a 'Byakingan'
20. I will not call PETA every time I see a ninja summoning an animal to do labor.