I don't own warriors. Yada yada yada.

Chapter 1: Mothwing's brothers

It was dawn. Ferns rustled as the dawn patrol left. Birds sang. Mothwing was asleep in her den in the RiverClan camp.

Willowshine gently grabbed her shoulder and shook her carefully. Finally, Mothwing's eyes opened groggily. "Show your mentor some respect," she muttered.

Willowshine stepped back. "Sorry, Mothwing but you said we needed to collect catmint from the Twoleg garden right at dawn or else we'd run the risk of being captured by Twolegs," the apprentice medicine cat reminded her mentor.

"Oh right," Mothwing got to her feet and followed Willowshine out of the camp. But she wasn't aware of her surroundings. She was trying to recapture the dream she'd been having. Usually she dreamed about inconsequential things such as hunting expeditions without the necessity of catching something or about the reeds around the RiverClan camp growing as tall as the forest and getting lost in them. This time she had dreamed of something that mattered to her a painful lot. This time she had dreamed of her brother Hawkfrost when he'd been just Hawk, an adventurous kit as worried about his future as she was and then when he'd been Hawkpaw, an apprentice determined to be accepted by his adopted Clan and growing more confident by the day. Then had come the day when he'd threatened her for the first time, ordering her away from a piece of fresh kill, so he could pretend he had been the one to catch the biggest fish found in the river since one of the elders had been an apprentice. The warriors had exclaimed over it and Leopardstar had remarked that he might be the next leader one day. Mothpaw had been afraid of the look in Hawkpaw's eyes that day. That first act of violence had seemed to break something in Hawkpaw that had been normal and sane. Then had come the paw swipes, the shaking by the neck whenever her brother was irritated with her. He'd made sure she became a medicine cat, though she'd been unsure she wanted that herself. If she'd tried to disagree with him, he'd normally scoffed as if she were less intelligent then he and spoken to her as if she were his kit.

Her other brother Tadpole had already been dead when Sasha had brought them to RiverClan. It had been the reason she had done so. Hawk had looked up to Tadpole. He'd considered him his role model. Moth had loved him for the way that he had always been willing to lead his siblings through difficult situations; how he had never complained but seen the silver lining in any situation and how he had always been the first to go from fretting over a problem to figuring out how to solve it. But she hadn't hero-worshipped him the way that Hawk had. She'd had a healthy love and respect for her oldest brother, not a dependence on his point of view that made it impossible for her to believe what he did not.

Mothwing suspected that Hawk had tried to take Tadpole's place as leader of his littermates after his death. He'd hoped to grow into Tadpole's role, first in his family and then in the greater family that was his Clan. But he hadn't, Mothwing reminded herself. Tadpole had been a leader, not a tyrant. He'd had a sense of authority about him but it wasn't authority that looked down on others or discounted their feelings in favour of ambition. Hawkfrost had frightened her into doing as he wished. So much so that she'd felt a prickle of relief when his penchant for violence had been revealed the day he had attempted to kill Firestar and he'd died. Now the forest was safer.

In addition to wanting to take Tadpole's place, Hawkfrost had also felt the need to find a new role model. He'd wondered about his father. He'd begged Sasha about him at night when Moth was already pretending to be asleep in the RiverClan nursery despite Sasha's insistence that they must never mention him. He'd asked other cats about him. He'd set his paws on the path to follow in Tigerstar's footsteps with frightening speed. Mothwing had not realized it at the time but she was glad that she had chosen to be her own cat rather than trying to make a family member proud. Especially a deceased family member.

Had Mothwing believed in StarClan she would have asked them, "Why did you take the good one first?" Much as she would like to believe that her brothers were alive somewhere on another plane of existence she knew this to be impossible. When a cat died, its body was left; nothing more. Just something to be buried so that its loved ones would not see the worms get to it.

But now Mothwing allowed herself a moment to reflect; however superstitious she felt reflecting on what happened after a cat died. Could Hawk have been saved from whatever void warrior code breakers ended up in if he had been the one to drown in the Twoleg nest where she and her brothers had gotten themselves trapped as kits. Hawk had been, come to think of it, the first one out. Had Tadpole not focused on helping his siblings escape, Mothwing reflected, he wouldn't have died. He could have been the first one out when Sasha came to rescue them. He had always been the strongest and most capable of the three.

Mothwing's mind filled with grief...and guilt...the way it always did when she brought that memory-usually kept as deep in the subconscious as a conscious memory can be kept-up to the surface. When they'd been trapped in the flooding Twoleg nest her first thought had been her own escape, not that of her brothers. Now she regretted her selfishness. She and Hawkfrost had never talked about it but she suspected, especially from the way he had clawed his will up the pipe, without looking back, that he had thought the same things she had. They'd both panicked in the crisis. But Tadpole had kept his head as usual and focused on solving the problem. He'd helped them both out and drowned while their mother was pulling her other two kits out of the water.

"I wish there was some way I could make Tadpole the one who survived," said Mothwing out loud. And instantly regretted it.

Hawkfrost had comforted Moth and their mother as they had gotten over Tadpole's death together. He had been the one to get them both through apprenticeship. She had been frightened to join the Clan though she had made the effort for the sake of her mother and brother. And it was her brother who had been sociable and inquisitive; carving them a place in the Clan so that eventually even she could feel like a part of it. She would always love him for that despite what had happened.

"Mothwing," Willowshine called. "Hurry up." Mothwing realized she was standing at the edge of the Thunderpath. She dashed across just as a monster came speeding up; dealing her a glancing blow and sending her body flying.

"Mothwing! No!" screamed Willowshine. She was tempted to dash over to help her unconscious mentor but knew she must not move her body alone.

Meanwhile Mothwing's spirit opened its eyes. Startled, she realized she was floating intangibly over her body, looking down on it on the Thunderpath. Am I dead?

"No, Mothwing," said a voice. "There may be a way you can make your wish come true." Mothwing turned her head and saw a hairless cat with frightening eyes floating in midair next to her. She screamed.

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