I'm mostly posting this in the hopes that this pairing becomes a thing? *waves from the depths of rare-pair hell* Come join me in my lovely trash can, I have fic!

Gai had a date last night. He was being secretive about it, but it's Gai, and Kakashi can spot his tells from a mile away. He didn't say anything then, mostly because they're both nineteen and technically adults, and if he goes running to either of their dads with this Sakumo and Dai will never let him live it down. Mostly Sakumo. Dai is nice. Kakashi's father is evil.

So he'd kept his mouth shut while they were all eating dinner, hadn't mentioned hearing Gai slip out of his room late that night, and had vaguely sort of covered for him at breakfast by saying he'd thought Gai had left early to get in some training. They had accepted that easily enough, and Kakashi had excused himself to go meet his team before they could question him. He's good, but not good enough to fool either of them for an extended period of time.

...Which leaves him with almost an hour to kill before Team 7 is supposed to meet. Not even Rin will be there for another 30 minutes at least. Damn it.

Well. Bothering Obito is always a good choice at times like this. And it's early enough that he should still be in his house, not distracted by whatever geriatric damsel in distress has crossed his path today.

Kakashi is a familiar enough face that the guard at the gate of the Uchiha compound doesn't even pause, just waves him in with a nod of greeting. Kakashi nods back, meandering towards his best friend's house at the end of the street. The lights are off, which has him raising a brow - it's early, but not that early, and Obito is fairly good about getting up on time now. With a faint frown, Kakashi knocks lightly on the door and pushes it open when there's no answer.

The downstairs is empty, and there are no dishes in the sink. Kakashi hums a little suspiciously and heads up the stairs, minding his steps out of habit more than anything. If Obito is still sleeping, Kakashi is going to—

A quiet gasp.

Kakashi freezes, one hand automatically going for a kunai.

A short, bitten-off cry.

Okay. That's probably something to be concerned about.

(He'd make the obvious connection, but—t's Obito. Obito, who was crushing on Rin so hard he didn't even know other girls or boys existed until he was almost eighteen. Obito who is just as much of a genius as Kakashi even if he hides it better, who managed to master the Shodaime's cells in his repaired right side better than anyone had ever thought he'd be able to, and trains as much as Kakashi, and gets so focused the rest of the world just fades out. There's no way it's what Kakashi's mind first jumped to.)

Kakashi throws himself up the remaining flight of stairs, hurtles around the corner, and promptly trips over his own feet, gags, and hurls himself headfirst out the nearest window.

Oh god.

Oh god. That was Obito and Gai in the hallway, both naked, both doing something Kakashi is not going to think about ever again.

He gags again, clawing at his eyes. No. No. No, he is not going to think about both of them naked, Obito pressed up against the wall with his legs around Gai's waist, moaning. No no no no no.

Maybe—

Maybe Rin has a jutsu to erase memories. Because Kakashi needs it. If he's ever going to be a functional member of society again, he really needs it.

Kakashi bolts for Rin's apartment. Screw dignity. This is way too desperate a situation for it to ever be a factor.

That's it. Kakashi is so going to kill his best friend. He just can't decide whether it's for sleeping with his brother or for what Kakashi just had to witness. Maybe both.

Okay, definitely both.