Notes: This has been called "For Adri" in my docs because the prompt came from her and I'd decided to write it for her birthday. Here it is, three times as long as I intended and weeks overdue. I'm sorry it's so late, and it's not nearly as good as I wanted it to be, but hopefully she still likes it.
Canon divergent after Season 6, episode 2, but it assumes that Spencer eventually tries to join New Directions for some reason or another. I haven't even seen eps 4 & 5 yet so definitely nothing from them. Read this on AO3 (same author name) if you'd like the links to both songs on YouTube.
Where Is Your Boy Tonight?
"So, do you think you'll sing anything tonight?" Dave asked, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence. Scandals was hosting an open mic music night, which he'd thought would be a good choice for a date, considering who he was seeing.
"Maybe," Blaine stopped staring through his drink long enough to offer a small smile. "I mean I love to sing, but I don't really know if I'm feeling all that inspired."
Dave tried not to take offence at that; after all, he'd be a hypocrite if he did, because he'd never get on stage to sing. And even if he would, the date felt weird. In fact, their entire relationship had felt like that. Weird. Awkward.
And distinctly unsexy, which definitely hadn't been an issue he'd had with Sebastian.
But Sebastian was his past, or would be, if Dave could ever stop thinking about him, and Blaine was...well, Blaine probably wasn't Dave's future. But he was there, gay and single. Blaine was nice, and most importantly, he wasn't afraid of things like commitment and feelings the way that Sebastian was.
Not that Dave was thinking about Sebastian.
"Is this about Jane?" Dave ventured. Blaine's quiet mood was probably down to one of two people: Jane or Kurt. The latter was so much more likely, but considering Kurt had just walked through the door with some blonde guy Dave didn't recognize, he hoped it was about Jane.
"Yeah, Jane."
Liar.
Dave figured he should probably have felt more jealousy and less sympathy over the whole situation, considering Blaine was supposed to be his...what? His boyfriend? That didn't feel right at all, but Blaine was supposed to be his something...they were seeing each other, sort of, and boyfriend was probably what Dave should call him. Either way, Dave knew he should feel jealous that Blaine was spending their date thinking about his ex, not commiserating because he couldn't stop thinking about his own.
He didn't want to think about the fact that the only reason he was dating Blaine was because of Blaine's differences to Sebastian, but when he was being honest with himself he knew it was true. He was using Blaine, he supposed, but not in a bad way, not really. He was just...trying to move on. It wasn't as if he was trying to hurt anyone. He'd feel guiltier about it, he figured, if he wasn't fairly sure that Blaine was doing the same thing. After all, Dave was basically the polar opposite of Kurt, and Blaine had never shown any interest in guys like him before.
Oh well. Whatever happened, happened. This thing with Blaine would run its course, good or bad. Even though he didn't feel the same kind of connection he'd felt with Sebastian, it was nice to spend time with someone, to have someone to go on dates and touch and smile with, even if it felt more platonic than it probably should.
He glanced back to where Kurt and his friend were looking around for a seat. Scandals was ridiculously full that night for such a dive, and when he locked eyes with Kurt, he made a split second decision and waved them over. It was probably a terrible idea, but he and Blaine had room at their table. Even if it was a disaster — which it looked like it might be, judging by the way Blaine looked first stunned then supremely uncomfortable when Kurt steeled himself and headed over — well, Dave had been serious about wanting to be friends with Kurt.
By the time Kurt and his friend arrived at the table, Blaine had shuffled his chair closer to Dave's, like he needed someone on his side. He was fiddling with a napkin while trying to look more comfortable than he obviously felt, and Kurt's friend was complaining. Judging from the look on Kurt's face, it'd been going on for some time.
"I still don't know how I let you convince me to come here. This place is tragic and I have better things to do on my Friday night. Not every gay guy in this town is a desperado."
Kurt shot a frustrated glare in the guy's direction and snapped, "For the twelve millionth time, Spencer, this is not optional. Part of glee club is about love and acceptance, and you're here to learn that."
"I am perfectly comfortable with being—"
"Yeah, believe me; everyone knows how much you love yourself. But you need to learn to love and accept other people. And with any luck you'll figure out you can be a gay jock and not be a complete jerk. So sit down."
"Hey, Kurt," Dave interrupted when it looked like the other guy — Spencer — was going to say something back which would probably result in a fight. "How are you?"
"I've been better," Kurt said, glaring at Spencer then letting his eyes dart for a split second towards Blaine before settling back on Dave. He didn't add anything for a few moments, and then he shifted in his seat and forced a smile on his face. "How about you? How has the music been so far?" He winced as someone on stage completely butchered a rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow. "Better than this guy, I hope."
"Why, Kurt? Looking for some more talent to poach?"
Dave was surprised by Blaine's tone — he'd never considered him to be the snide type before, but Kurt didn't look surprised at all, he just shot daggers at Blaine.
"It's not our fault that the Warblers didn't want her. How can you be upset with us for taking her in after what they did?"
Even though Dave knew he should be siding with Blaine, out of loyalty if nothing else, he sort of agreed with Kurt. He knew Blaine had done everything he could, but it sounded like the Warblers had made up their mind, and Dave knew from experience that if a group decided to target you it could be hell. He was surprised that Blaine was being so stubborn, really. He should understand why Jane walked away.
"We could have appealed, could have gotten her in, despite—"
"Despite what? You think she should have forced her way in and suffered through knowing that everyone would hate her for it? How is that fair on her?"
"We swore no dirty tricks. You betrayed me."
And there it was, Dave realized as he took a sip of his beer. Blaine wasn't upset about Jane leaving. Well, maybe a little, on the surface. But deep inside, he felt like Kurt had treated him badly. This was fair, because he had, Dave knew, by breaking off their engagement so suddenly. But that was a different matter; he hadn't done anything wrong here, not where Jane was concerned.
Spencer was looking less bored and more curious. Maybe even a little entertained, like watching people who were upset was fun for him. Dave wasn't really sure why Kurt was bothering with this guy, but then again he knew from first-hand experience that not everyone should be written off just because they acted like jerks.
Like him.
Like Sebastian.
"Come on, guys," Dave said eventually. "Let's not get into this, okay? I'm sure no one meant to betray anyone," he told Blaine, before turning to Kurt, "and I'm sure we can all have a good night."
Kurt stared him down for a moment, before huffing out a breath. "Fine. You're right." He sounded like he was speaking through gritted teeth, and Blaine just nodded sullenly, but it was better than nothing and Dave would take what he could get.
No one said anything else while the guy on stage thankfully finished his song and someone else took over, singing something that sounded like it was from The Beatles. Dave tuned out, focusing on his beer and trying to ignore the awkwardness around him. They sat uncomfortably through several songs, some better than others, but the table remained silent until Spencer sat forward with a grin during a lull in the music.
"Now that's what I'm talking about."
Dave turned to face the stage, following Spencer's look, and his heart tried to escape his body through his throat. It was dark, kind of shadowy, but he would recognize Sebastian anywhere, even dressed in — holy hell — ripped jeans, a faded band shirt...and, if Dave squinted, he was pretty sure Sebastian was wearing eyeliner.
He hadn't even known that kind of thing could be so hot, but it really, really was.
"Is that...Sebastian?" Dave could hear the frown in Blaine's words, but he was already struggling to remember to breathe and couldn't pull his eyes away from his ex-boyfriend long enough to glance over.
Sebastian was smirking when he looked over at their table, but it seemed forced. He shot Dave a wink as he started singing.
"Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town."
The music kicked in and Dave groaned silently as Sebastian's voice washed over them. Sebastian was staring right at him and there was no way to mistake what was going through his mind.
"When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on hope again that you hate him more than you notice; I wrote this for you."
It had been months. Months. Dave had wished hundreds of times for Sebastian to try and fix things, but he never had, and Dave knew better than to actually expect it. And suddenly there he was, fucking singing to Dave. Making some kind of grand gesture, a concept that Dave could barely wrap his head around, while Dave's boyfriend was sitting there with him.
If that wasn't bad enough, he was definitely the most talented person to have been on that stage so far, and the entire bar loved it.
Well, almost the entire bar.
"Are you kidding me?" Kurt spat out, sharply enough that it was easy to hear him over Sebastian's singing. Dave looked at him, but Kurt was glaring at Blaine. "Does every gay boy in Ohio want you?"
"I don't," Spencer volunteered, nodding at Sebastian on stage. "I want that guy."
"I'm so sorry, Dave," Blaine said, looking apologetic. "I uh, I thought he stopped this stuff ages ago. After the whole thing with the slushie he seemed okay with just being friends."
It took Dave longer than it probably should have for him to understand what Blaine was saying, but when he did he winced. He'd told Blaine about his ex, about how long they were together and how it ended, but he'd never told him it was Sebastian.
Dave still wasn't sure why.
But of course Blaine and Kurt thought Sebastian was singing to Blaine, considering the history there.
He looked back at the stage, at Sebastian, who was quirking a half smile at him as he sang. He supposed from where they were sitting, it could seem like he was smiling at anyone sitting at their table. But Dave knew better.
That particular smile was his.
"One day I'll appreciate in value…"
Dave looked away from the stage again, trying to ignore the words Sebastian was singing, and the butterflies they stirred up in his stomach.
"You don't need to apologize," he told Blaine.
"No, I do," Blaine insisted.
"You need him? I could be him—"
"Great," Kurt muttered. "Just what tonight needed."
"I could be an accident, but I'm still trying. That's more than I can say for him."
When Sebastian launched into the chorus again, Dave glanced at Kurt, who looked like he wanted to murder his coaster, then at Blaine who was shifting uncomfortably.
"Blaine, this isn't your fault," Dave said quietly. "He's not...he's not singing to you. He's singing to me."
Spencer choked out a laugh. "You? Right."
Dave rolled his eyes but didn't bother replying. He didn't need to explain this to some guy he didn't even know. He didn't even need to explain this to Kurt. But it was only fair to be honest with Blaine.
"You remember that ex I told you about?" Dave asked Blaine.
"Yeah," Blaine said slowly. He frowned at Dave for a moment, then his eyes widened. "Sebastian?"
He didn't really know what else to say, so Dave just nodded.
"Wait, wait," Kurt interrupted. "I feel like I'm missing something, because it sounds like you're saying that Sebastian Smythe — who, might I add, one might consider the bane of my existence — is your ex-boyfriend. Please tell me that my drink has been spiked and I'm high right now."
"What? No, Kurt. We're...we were. I mean...we broke up. Ages ago."
"I still don't know if I believe you," Spencer said. "But assuming you aren't delusional, you are not over that guy." He glanced at Blaine. "At least, not if you have any taste."
"Hey!" Kurt snapped and then frowned, like he realized he wasn't supposed to be on Blaine's side in anything anymore. He leaned closer to Spencer then started speaking lowly. It looked like he was angry, and Dave should probably be glad that he was being too quiet for Dave to hear over the music.
"You're not, are you?" Blaine murmured, suddenly closer than he had been. "Over him, I mean." Dave didn't answer, just looked at Blaine, hoping he couldn't tell how true his statement was.
"...you were the last good thing about this part of town."
Sebastian waited on stage for a few more moments after the music ended, grinning cockily at the cheers and applause, before he stepped down and headed towards Dave's table. He kept his smirk plastered across his face, but Dave could tell he wasn't as confident as he tried to seem.
When Sebastian reached the table Dave still wasn't sure what he should do, but Spencer was on his feet almost immediately, offering Sebastian his hand to shake with an arrogant smile. "Hi. I'm Spencer."
After ignoring the offered hand to blatantly look Spencer up and down, Sebastian snorted. "Never. Not ever," he said. "Even if I wasn't trying to win back the only guy in this room worth my time, you're just a kid. Next time, at least try waiting until you're out of diapers before you hit on someone so far out of your league."
Kurt let out a choked noise that he tried to hide, but it sounded like a laugh, and he seemed as startled as the others to find he'd been amused by Sebastian. Dave tried not to smile at the way Kurt followed it up with a sharp glare. Some things would never change, he figured, and the animosity between Kurt and Sebastian was definitely one of those things.
"You'll have to excuse Sebastian," Blaine said to Spencer, who looked both embarrassed and angry. "He's not always the most tactful—"
"Save it, Blaine," Sebastian cut in. "Weeds like this one need to be cut down quickly, or they just keep growing. I've seen it a million times. And I have more important things to do right now than stroke this guy's already oversized ego. Or anything else he wants stroked."
"Sebastian," Dave said before the conversation could get any worse, "what are you doing here?"
"What do you think I'm doing here? I need to talk to you." He tilted his head at the others. "Without any input from the Peanut Gallery, preferably."
Dave was almost ready to stand before it occurred to him that he was there with Blaine. On a date. Going somewhere to speak privately with his ex-boyfriend probably wasn't something he should do. In fact, he should probably tell Sebastian to leave.
"I, uhh—" he tried to ignore the way Sebastian's eyes wouldn't leave him, but he couldn't. He swallowed, throat suddenly dry. He wanted to go with Sebastian, wanted to speak to him, wanted to see if they could fix what was wrong between them because Sebastian apparently wanted to, and the fact that he was even trying felt like a huge gesture, like a step Dave never expected Sebastian to take. "I can't. I'm here with Blaine," he said quietly, trying to make it sound less like an apology and more like a statement. After all, he wasn't doing anything wrong, and he hadn't been the reason their relationship fell apart in the first place.
Blaine nudged him and Dave met his eyes. Instead of looking annoyed or jealous, Blaine looked understanding, and maybe a little resigned, too.
"It's okay," Blaine said. "Go talk with him, I don't mind."
Dave wasn't sure exactly what Blaine was trying to say; whether he telling Dave it was okay to speak to an ex, or saying that he understood, to fix things, to go for it and forget about him.
"No...I shouldn't," Dave said, but he knew he didn't sound at all convincing.
"Yes, you should," Blaine stressed as he put a hand on Dave's forearm and squeezed. Across the table Kurt was pretending to ignore them, but he looked like he was trying to hide a grin at the idea of Dave leaving Blaine alone to speak with Sebastian. Spencer was still looking irritated, but also curious, and Sebastian was just staring at Dave, like he could convince Dave to agree with sheer force of will.
"Okay," Dave agreed, briefly dropping a hand to Blaine's in silent gratitude. "If you're sure." Blaine nodded and gave him a small smile. He couldn't read Blaine as well as he could read Sebastian, but by the look on Blaine's face, Dave knew that Blaine was encouraging him to see if he and Sebastian could work things out.
He followed Sebastian away from the table, glancing back to see Blaine and Kurt talking, or maybe bickering, while Spencer rolled his eyes and looked bored once again. When Sebastian stopped they were outside where it was quieter, but close enough to the door that Dave could still see his table if he craned his head. When Sebastian turned back to face Dave he'd dropped the cocky attitude and had an open and slightly hopeful expression on his face.
Sebastian opened his mouth to speak, but Dave wasn't sure he was completely ready to listen to whatever Sebastian wanted to say, just in case it wasn't what he wanted to hear.
"So," Dave said quickly, gesturing toward the shirt Sebastian was wearing. "Trying out a new look? I uh...it looks good on you. I like the eyeliner. It's really hot." He paused and shook his head with a laugh. "I never expected to say that sentence to a guy."
Sebastian hesitated, then shrugged and offered a small but genuine smile. "The shirt isn't really my style, but I think I might keep the eyeliner." He grinned a little wider, his lip pulling up on one side the way it always did when he wanted to make Dave laugh. "It makes my eyes pop," he winked. Then, more seriously, "I wanted to make an impression, I guess. It just seemed appropriate. Felt like it fit with the song, you know?"
"You always make an impression," Dave told him, but he regretted it almost instantly. Sebastian's face did that thing — that thing where he looked soft and happy and made Dave feel weak in the knees and tight in the chest — and it was too much. It was the first real conversation they'd had since they'd broken up months earlier and it was terrifying how close Dave was to ignoring their problems and just giving in. He wanted to be with Sebastian, had always wanted to be with Sebastian, but if they were ever going to work together they had to fix what was wrong, not just forget about it. "About the song," he said abruptly, grasping for a safer topic, "I figured Tell That Mick would have been more your style."
Sebastian didn't laugh, didn't grin, didn't even do the tiny twitch of his mouth that meant he found something a little funny but didn't want to admit it. He didn't do anything Dave expected; he just looked confused for a moment, then horrified. After a few seconds Sebastian shook his head and just looked sad, which was so far from what Dave had been aiming for that he was lost.
"I must have been an even worse boyfriend than I realized," Sebastian told him, "if you think that I could ever tell you to hang yourself, even metaphorically."
"What?" It took Dave a few seconds to connect the dots, to mentally replay some lyrics and piece together what Sebastian was saying, but he did, and it wasn't what he'd meant at all. "No! That's not...I mean...I didn't mean it like that." Dave sighed, not sure how to explain. "I know you would never say something like that," he paused, then corrected himself, "to me. I know you would never say something like that to me. I just meant the tone, you know? I could imagine you singing something angry at me for breaking up with you. But I never really thought you'd want to make things better. Which...that is what you're trying to do, right? It's not just because I'm with Blaine now, is it?"
"Blaine has nothing to do with this. Yeah, okay, when I heard about you two it kind of felt like a kick to the groin from every single member of the national soccer team. And it made me finally do something, but I already wanted to fix things. I'm sorry I left things like this for so long."
It was exactly what Dave had hoped for, but never thought he would hear. "So, then...why did you wait so long? It's been...you could have...you could have come to me the next day. Or the next week. Or even weeks later and I would have forgiven you in a second. But Seb, it's been four months."
Dave watched as Sebastian clenched his jaw and looked away to stare at the ground. He stuffed his hands into his pockets anxiously before eventually lifting his head and meeting Dave's eyes in determination. "I just...I didn't know if I could fix things, and I didn't know how to even try. And to be honest I figured if I waited long enough I'd get over it. Over you. But I didn't, and then I heard about you moving on and it just made me realize that I'd never forgive myself if I didn't fight for you, you know? I wish I'd figured that out earlier, but I guess I was too busy lying to myself."
He sounded so sincere, but Dave had no idea what to say back. He knew what he wanted, but even with everything Sebastian told him, he didn't know where they were headed. Sebastian was sorry; he wanted to be with Dave and wanted to fight for him. That all meant a lot, it really did, but it wouldn't matter in the long run if Sebastian couldn't get over his issues.
"Seb, the reasons why we broke up, they're still there."
"I know. I know I'm not good at the emotional stuff, okay? I know sometimes I'm an idiot and I don't tell you often enough that I care about you—"
"Ever."
"—but I...what?"
Dave swallowed around the lump forming in his throat. "You never. You didn't...I mean...you said you liked me, sometimes. You made jokes. And I...I knew you cared. But you never told me you did. And you never talked about our future, or...or anything like that."
Sebastian looked like he'd been struck, and Dave felt irrationally guilty before he pushed it away. He wasn't the one who had messed this up, he reminded himself. The silence between them felt heavy, even with all the background noise filtering out of the bar.
"I do, you know," Sebastian said quietly. "I care about you. So much that it scares me. I'm not even sure I know what love is, but whenever I'm with you I can't help but think that I love you. I don't know why...or...or how I've never told you that before. God, Dave, I'm sorry."
"Fuck, Seb. I love you, too. That's why I left. I just...it hurt too much to be with you when you would never tell me how you felt. I knew you cared, but I never knew if you cared as much as I did and I couldn't deal with that."
"You shouldn't have had to," Sebastian said, voice sounding rough. Even in the dark Dave could see that Sebastian's eyes were sad, that his hands were shaky like he was overwhelmed. Dave felt exactly the same way. "I meant what I said. In the song."
"That uh...that you hope Blaine was a gentleman?" Dave joked.
Sebastian choked out a laugh and shook his head. "Shit, Dave, I think we both know that I'm the last person to try to protect your virtue. Although now that you've mentioned it, yes, I hope he was. And if you two did...if you…" Sebastian paused, like he couldn't even get the words out, then took a deep breath before speaking again. "One day, if I ever get over the way my stomach churns at thought of you with someone else, I'm probably going to want all kinds of details about what Blaine is like in bed, but for now I can't even think those things without just—" he thumbed at his eyes, and Dave wondered whether he was trying to hold back tears or trying to rub the image away.
"Fuck," Sebastian said distractedly, pulling his hands away and glaring at them, "I forgot about my eyeliner."
"It's not bad," Dave told him. "There's just a little..." He reached forward and wiped away a small smudge, pulling his hand away quickly before he could do something stupid like drag Sebastian in for a kiss.
Sebastian shook his head again and took another moment, another several breaths, to stare up at the sky before he continued. "I...I meant about trying, you know? I can't promise I'll be perfect. I'll fuck up. More than once. Hell, I'll probably fuck up all the time, but I promise, Dave; I swear to you that I will try to be better. I'll never stop trying to be what you need and to make you happy, as long as you don't give up on me. Is that...is that enough? If you tell me when I'm fucking up, I promise that I'll try to fix things before they get this bad again, because I don't want to lose you."
Dave bit his lip, trying to figure out the right words to say. "Blaine—"
"I know," Sebastian interrupted, shoulders sagging. "I know you and Blaine are seeing each other. And I know I should have said something, done something, ages ago. He's a good guy, and I'm not. And fuck, if there's anyone who deserves a good guy, it's you. But I just—I'm an idiot. But I had to try."
"Yeah, you are an idiot sometimes," Dave sighed. "But I was going to say...Blaine deserves an explanation."
Sebastian's eyes shot to Dave, like he was surprised. How that was possible when Dave had already admitted to still loving him, he had no idea.
"I don't want to lose you, either," Dave said, pulling Sebastian's hand into his own and twisting their fingers together. "I don't expect you to be perfect, Seb. The fact that you're willing to try and work at our problems is enough. I can't ask for more than that." He wanted to do more, to pull Sebastian into him and kiss him for hours, but he knew he couldn't. From the look on Sebastian's face, he wanted the same. "Just...I need a few minutes, to…" He looked back at the entrance to the bar.
"Yeah," Sebastian agreed. "He'll be okay, right?"
Dave knew that part of Sebastian considered Blaine a friend, but he hadn't expected him to ask that. "Yeah. I think so. He and I were never like…" Like us. "I mean, it never really felt serious to me, I guess. I'm pretty sure he felt the same way."
Sebastian nodded, and Dave let go of his hand to step back through the entry to the bar. He'd only made it half a dozen feet before Blaine met his eyes and stood, leaning down to say something to Kurt and Spencer before heading in Dave's direction. By the time Blaine reached him, Dave felt awkward and uncertain about what to even say, but Blaine gestured to the door and brushed past him before he could speak.
When Dave stepped back outside, Sebastian was rubbing the back of his neck, looking at Blaine uncomfortably.
"I should probably go," he said. "Leave you both to it."
"No," Blaine told him, looking between him and Dave. "You should stay. With Dave. I should go."
"Blaine," Dave started, but Blaine shook his head and cut him off.
"Dave, it's okay. Really. I understand."
He sounded a little sad, but when Blaine's eyes darted back toward the bar — back toward Kurt — Dave knew why. He wasn't sad about Dave and Sebastian possibly getting back together, he was sad because he wasn't sure that he and Kurt would ever really figure themselves out.
"Okay," Dave nodded. Blaine turned to leave, but Dave stopped him for a moment to lean down and pressed a quick, chaste kiss to Blaine's temple. "Thank you," he said quietly. "For what it's worth, I think Kurt really is sorry. And I know sometimes that's not enough, but I hope whatever happens you both end up happy."
"Thanks. You too. And I think you and I would make better friends than whatever we've been doing anyway, right?"
"Yeah, definitely."
Blaine looked over at Sebastian. "Don't fuck this up again."
"I don't intend to," Sebastian replied.
"Good."
It wasn't long before Blaine was across the carpark and disappearing from sight. Dave felt a pang of sadness, or maybe guilt, because it seemed wrong to be happy when he'd just broken up with someone, but it disappeared quickly when Sebastian's hand slipped back into his.
"Hey, I know it kind of sucks for him, but Blaine's hot as hell, so, you know, he'll manage." He eyed Dave for a second and smirked. "You know, you're two for two when it comes to ridiculously attractive boyfriends. You have excellent taste."
Dave tried not to laugh, but a little one slipped out anyway. "You're terrible."
Sebastian shrugged. "Maybe you can teach me how not to be." He paused, then winked. "I've heard positive reinforcement is a very promising educational technique."
"We'll see," Dave said with a grin, pulling Sebastian away from Scandals and over to where Dave had parked his truck. "But first thing's first. You haven't made me middle of the night waffles in over four months. You have a lot to make up for."