AN: last night's episode (S4 E15) was the first to move me to write in a real long time. I confess having to overcome the fear that TVD is maybe ending... I am not ready fro that yet... For better or for worse, There is my take on last night's episode. there were some beautiful bonding moments between the brothers...

Songs that go with this Fic: Adelle "Set fire to the rain", Pink and Nate Ruess " Just give me a reason"

"Ashes to ashes"

"May time heal all wounds and fire purify our souls"

Elena could feel the edge of the abyss, the tendrils of insanity reaching out to strangle her very heart. Her head was a mush pit of contradictions, as she took note of Bonnie's fanatical words, of Caroline's outraged protests, of the conversation between the brothers outside and the boy that stubbornly wouldn't come back to life upstairs.

It was too much… it was simply too much.

But Damon was here, Damon would make it right like he always did…He would fix it… he would fix her… Because she couldn't lose another loved one, she couldn't lose her brother... No, not Jeremy too... Her parents, Jenna, Alaric, even John and Isobel… No, not Jeremy too...

Elena's dizzying thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the house phone. April's voice rang annoyingly clear asking for Jeremy. As an automaton Elena started by replying that he couldn't come to the phone right now… Then realization dug its nails into her entrails and twisted her guts until the words she dreaded spilled unbidden from her mouth.

"Jeremy is dead" she acknowledged to herself as the truth travelled to the receiver and exploded into Elena's heart. Elena put the phone down, painfully aware of all the poignant stares of her loved ones.

Too much, it was simply too much…

Elena turned and left all the looks of pity and concern behind her and ascended morosely the stairs to her brother's room.

With a morbid fear edging on the brink of hysteria Elena approached the bed and hesitantly, tremulously, removed the blanket that hid Jeremy's features. Her soul immediately exploded into fragments of herself, shards of grief inflicting maximum pain in every corner of her mind and heart… No, she was pain… pain and grief were all that were left of her after losing her parents, her aunt, uncle, her almost uncle, herself and now this… her baby brother…

It was too much…

Elena heard Damon approaching cautiously, heard him speak words that tried to calm, to reassure, heard words spill from her own mouth, heard his reply, but none of it registered… Words didn't really matter at this time… nothing did in this house that had become a mortuary.

Damon carried Jeremy's body downstairs as Elena ordered – he would always do what she asked – and laid him down in the couch in the living room as Elena, Stefan and Caroline looked on.

Damon spared a moment to think about all the moments he had spent in that living room, about the tentative bond he had formed with the littlest of Gilberts... He had to side with his own brother on this, 162 years was nowhere near enough to become desensitized to loss, death and grief…

Damon's attention was brought back to the present when a rambling Elena started to frantically search the kitchen cupboards under a barrage of Caroline's frightened questions. Then he saw it and Damon realized how far down the well of despair Elena was. He wanted to weep for his love but this was the time for him to be strong.

Elena started to pour flammable liquid all over the house and over the body of her brother. She was like a mad woman, and when Elena struck the match, Caroline's fear hit an impossible crescendo, Stefan pleaded and reasoned and so did Damon, as Elena talked and justified but all that survived was the madness as the flame approached her fingers and she let it go. Time stopped as Damon rushed and caught the flame before it ignited the physical pyre that would mirror Elena's grief and would burn all the memories to the ground.

Elena broke finally down… It was simply too much…

The girl that lived for others, that wore her heart on her sleeve, whom now as a vampire felt even more empathy, more loss and grief… that girl was shattered… Damon held her in his arms as reality tore at her insides, as the knowledge of all the bodies of all the people she had loved piled high like a funereal march and suffocated her. Stefan pleaded for his brother to use the sire bond to alleviate Elena's suffering; Damon decided to do one better.

"Shut if off" he enunciated under the horrified gazes of Stefan and Caroline.

Elena looked up at Damon with teary eyes. Turmoil evident in her brown irises, compassion warm in his blue ones. Damon ordered, Elena obeyed and an eerie sense of detachment replaced the darkness that had consumed her only seconds ago. Elena stood taking in her surroundings in a mechanical way as everyone gave her some room to be alone.

AN: What do you think? R&R xoxo