Fandom: Gravitation
Pairing: Ryu x Tatsuha
Title: blind devotion
Description - Ryuichi babysits the two Uesugi brothers.

Disclaimer - Gravitation does not belong to me. I'm just happy for its existence in my life that I humbly write for it.

How far do you go
to get what you want?
Whose eyes look at you when you fall asleep
when there are dreams unseen,
but you only want one to come true?

How far do you believe
in things that shouldn't be there?

Because of the way things are in the world,
I know I shouldn't.
Because I know who I am,

I know I can.

Let's defy common logic, baby.

blind devotion.
By Miyamoto Yui

As if we were sneaking into the house, we glanced at one another for a moment with smirks on our faces. Then, he opened the front door very carefully so that we wouldn't make a sound.

I took off my black and white sneakers at the genkan as he casually slipped off his black loafers and stood at the entrance.
Even though I didn't show it, I was nervous. My head was bent forward, but I could feel that he was watching me with those persistent eyes. And that would have been just fine if it weren't for that nagging feeling that made me feel as if he were quietly and slowly undressing me in his head.

I turned my head upwards to check his eyes, which, sure enough, were on me. I never knew what to do when he looked at me so intently and his playful face became serious while his eyes followed my fingers. They were fumbling with the laces.
He put his hand over his mouth to chuckle to himself. I pouted as I looked away from him.

When I was almost finished, his fingers touched the top of my head and my whole body felt all tingly. I didn't know why, but he always had that effect on me.
But he wasn't one to touch people so intimately…

As my head turned towards his once again, my eyes told him, "Not here, Tohma."

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!
Like a rock powerfully thrown over the surface of a lake, the tranquility we shared was disturbed by a pattering of feet. Soon, the warmth that began to encompass my heart by the touch of his fingers, it had dissipated as he immediately took his hand away from my hair.

I got up and smiled as Uesugi Eiri was running down the hall towards me with his hands out. Even though he was a shy child, he sure wasn't one around me. Tohma smirked as his eyes directed themselves elsewhere.
I didn't know what to make of it. He was one to get jealous, if anyone, since he-

"Ryu-san!" Eiri shouted as I knelt on the floor with my arms out waiting for his hug.
"Hi~!" I greeted with a wide grin spread all over my face. It was hard to keep such a serious expression when faced with someone so pretty-eyed. He may have been made fun of for it, but I thought it was his most distinctive and most attractive feature.
Someday, I knew these eyes would kill someone with their utter exquisiteness. Scratch that, someone else.

I was already long smitten with them.

I took him into my arms and swung him around one or two times. "How are you?"
"I'm great! So, what are we playing today?!"
"I'll think of something." My eyebrows rose for a second to hint that it would be super fun.

I put him down as his sister came out into the hall with a bundle in her hands. She was carrying a large tote bag, a large white notepad, and a baby dressed in blue overalls within her two arms.

I took out a piece of candy for Eiri as Tohma took Eiri's toddler brother into his arms. Mika began to sputter out all sorts of directions I had to follow in taking care of her brothers, as if I didn't know anything.
But as I gave Eiri more candy to hide in his pockets, she slapped my hand. "Stop encouraging him to have such a sweet tooth, Ryu! It's already bad and it's your fault!"

But all the while, she said this with a smile.

I pretended to be hurt as Tohma rocked the baby, who was already too eager with his hands reaching out towards me. He sure was fussy.
"You act like Nuri-chan." I pouted. "Hidoi yo~!"

She took a deep breath, pursed her lips, and shook her head. "I don't know how she deals with you."

I stuck my tongue out as she said more things to me. She was always so detailed that way. Tohma and she were made for one another…

I think…
But whenever he gave me those voyeuristic looks, I wasn't so sure of this conviction.

"Thank you for looking after them while we have a club meeting and our dad's out doing a service for the rest of the day."

"Oh no problem! What else am I going to do today? Homework? Yeah right. I'll do it before I go to sleep."

As Mika put her shoes on, Tohma gave the ball of genki to me with his fingers already trying to scratch my arms. "This is Uesugi Tatsuha."
Looking at Tatsuha, Tohma then said, "And this is your playmate today, Ryuichi."
Mika stopped putting her heels on. "Whoa. Tatsuha's usually very finicky. He doesn't like touching anyone else except Eiri."
She went back to putting on her shoes, but with a look of disbelief on her face.

Eiri pulled on my green, cargo pants. I nodded my head at him. "I'll be with you in a moment. I promise."

Tohma put a large piece of white cloth over my shoulder as I held Tatsuha with both of my hands. "Yo…You drool. A lot."

Tatsuha smiled at me and clapped his hands. I hugged him and turned around to face the couple leaving. They waved goodbye and so we went to the den where I gave Tatsuha a pacifier when I placed him in the playpen. I gave him some toy rings to squeeze onto as I went over to the table in the middle of the room and sat next to Eiri.
"So, what do we do today?" I tapped my head, exaggerating that I was thinking while looking up to the ceiling. "I know! Let's go on an adventure!"
"An adventure? Where?"
"Let's walk around the neighborhood and stuff."
At this, Eiri's eyes looked at the ground. I had almost forgotten that he wouldn't talk about the kids that teased him. They lived around him…

I found myself mumbling. "Don't worry…people did that to me too…"

I pulled him into my lap and hugged him. I kissed the back of his forehead and said with a smile in my tone, "Yeah, let's go out. All three of us! Along the way, we'll make a map of all the places we liked going to!"
"I don't know…" His face turned upwards as I looked down at him.
"Have I ever be un-fun?"

I laughed as he shook his head.

"Then, let's go!"
"Okay."
"That doesn't sound like it. Louder!"
"Okay!"

He ran to prepare for our trip. Eiri got his backpack packed with crayons and pieces of paper while I picked up the sniffling Tatsuha from the crib. I puffed my cheeks out at him to let him know that I was all his for the moment.
Sadistically, he took up both of his hands and slapped them on my cheeks to 'pop' them. I said, "POP~!"
I blew into his face and he giggled at me.

"You're pretty cute yourself," I said while looking at him for a moment. I poked on his forehead. "I like your eyes too."

Then, I carried him while my right hand put everything into his dark blue 'baby' bag. And so, we were off!

When we closed the front gate, we all looked from side to side. A gust of wind flew.

"Okay, we'll pick places that the other doesn't know. It can't be too far though. Hmm…" My head looked around, but Eiri was already pulling on my hand.

We walked fast and his face was so bright. As for Tatsuha, he looked at everything so curiously. He seemed so fascinated…while drooling, of course. I wiped it away.

"This is my secret hideout!" Eiri announced as we went through the local park, past some bushes, and into a small place that the sun shone down on us. This small rectangular space was all surrounded by greenery.
"How'd you ever find this?" I asked while sitting down.
He sat down next to me and said, "I needed a place to nap, and there was lots of sunshine."
I laughed as I gave Tatsuha a bottle.

Eiri poked Tatsuha on the forehead. "I'm not showing this to you again."

Tatsuha waved one arm and put his fingers on his brother's finger, which was wagging in his face. He put his bottle down and bit on it.

"Tatsuha!" Eiri sighed as he stared as his drool-infested finger. "Why me?"

I couldn't stop them. Even though I knew it was coming, I just couldn't. It was too funny to watch. I laughed really hard.

When the laughter died down, I pointed my head upwards. "I like it here."
"Yeah, me too," Eiri said as he leaned his head on my shoulder. I put my arm around him.

We were staring at the sky for a moment and I took Tatsuha's arm to point it to the sky. "Look! That cloud looks like a bunny!"
"I don't see it." Eiri squinted.
"Right there."
"Oh! Yeah!"
"Your turn!"
"I found one that looks like…a cat!"

We did that for a while. After that, I asked Eiri to make our 'map' of how we came to his favorite spot.

While he was doing that, I faced Tatsuha towards me and started tickling him. He giggled so loud that I couldn't do anything but chuckle with him.

Okay, so I was dying because both of them were cute, but still…

When Eiri was done, we looked at the map and nodded. "Good!"

I took his hand and we walked out of 'the secret spot'. I held onto his hand as Tatsuha waved his arms, looking at everything in back of us while climbing my shoulder excitedly. I had to change a cloth along the way.

We came to my favorite ice cream shop. It was called 'Hoshi'. The sign had little stars on it.
"Ice cream!"
"Shh. Don't tell Mika-san I'm showing you more bad stuff." We pinky swore.

The bell jingled as we entered the shop. The old man behind the counter waved at me. "Here again? Oh, and you have guests with you this time."
I held Eiri close to my right side and patted his cheek while smiling down at him. "This is Eiri-kun."
Eiri held onto my pants. "Hello."
Then, I pointed at the brat clapping his hands on my shoulder while hopping up and down. "And this brat is Tatsuha-kun."
Tatsuha gave him a toothy grin. "HEE."

The kid was a sadist. I liked him as much as the sweet Eiri!

"Hello, I'm Matsuda," the old man said while leaning over the counter to pat Eiri on the head while grinning. "What do you want to try?"
Eiri let go of my pants and ran around. "I…I…I want that!"

While they were looking at flavors, I wandered over to one set of flavors and looked at Tatsuha. "So, what do you think we'll eat? Chocolate or strawberry?"
"Ahh."
"Chocolate?"
"Ahh."
"Strawberry?"
"Ahh."
More drooling ensued.

I looked over at Eiri, who was already licking his mint chocolate chip. "What does it mean when he makes this sound?"
I pointed my head at Tatsuha again. "Chocolate?"
"Ahh."

Eiri answered matter-of-factly, "That means he likes it."
"I was asking him to help me pick _one_."
"Tatsuha likes _everything_."

I sighed. I ended up getting half strawberry and half chocolate on a cone.

Matsuda-san gave it to us for free and I bowed in thanks. He didn't have to, but he was always so kind that way. Eiri and Tatsuha waved goodbye while I nodded my head.

When we were heading home, I gave some of my ice cream to Eiri for him to try. He licked it and said, "I don't like mixing ice cream. Tastes kinda weird."
"I like it. And look, Tatsu-kun does too."

At the prompt, Tatsuha took a lick.
Well, it was more of putting his mouth towards the blob and gnawing at it until it got all over his face. Jokingly, while staring at him, I scolded, "We were supposed to _share_."

He gave me that impish little smile while I wiped his face.

Eiri smiled silently while grabbing onto my pants with his fingers once more.

When we got back, it was almost early evening. We ate the food Mika had prepared for us. Eiri and I talked about all kinds of stuff like video games and books. Tatsuha blinked his eyes at us while drinking out of his bottle. All the while, he was sitting on my lap because he screamed now whenever I even thought of putting him into his playpen.

While making the map, Eiri fell asleep on the table. I put Tatsuha into the playpen and put my finger to my lips. "Shh. I'll be right back. I have to put your brother to bed."
Tatsuha pouted.

Somehow, I carried both of them. I carried Eiri to his room as his hand grabbed onto my white sleeve. "Thanks, Ryu-san…"

I smiled even though I knew he was dreaming. He slept through everything, that's why. I tucked him into his bed and kissed his forehead. "I wish you could stay like this, Eiri. You've always been my favorite person to be with. Now, your brother too."

Tatsuha leaned towards his brother and copied me. Kind of. His kiss wasn't as clean.

Then, I closed the door and walked with Tatsuha rubbing his eyes. He was super sleepy, but was forcing himself to stare at me and keeping himself awake.

He patted my cheeks. I held onto him lovingly and patted his bottom. "What do we do now?"

He leaned his head sleepily onto my chest. So, I began to sing a lullaby to him.

We walked onto the garden for about a good fifteen minutes. When my arms got a little tired, I stopped and sat down on the elevated wooden floor with my feet touching the grass. I didn't know why, but I started to talk to him as his eyes became more and more heavy.

The hands that were plastered on touching my cheeks were now lowering to rest on my shirt. All the while, his eyes were always looking up to mine so attentively.

"I wonder what it'll feel like later. You'll grow up like Eiri too, won't you?" I sighed. "Everyone does."

I wondered if anyone would look at me like that again. It was silly, but I liked his eyes very much.

"Don't tell your brother, but I like your eyes a little bit more," I whispered while rocking him.

Finally, Tatsuha fell into a deep sleep, but I sat there for a while longer before coming inside. I carried him closer to me.

"Let me keep one of them from growing up without me."

I laughed at my own silly prayer.

+++
"Honey~!" Tatsuha shouted while grinning devilishly my yellow his towel wrapped over his waist. He jumped from behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck as I sat on the edge of the white bed.
I held a cloth in between my hands. I had forgotten that I had kept it in my Kumagorou backpack because I brought it with me everywhere.

It was a part of me.

/"Um…okay, if you want the drool monster's rag." Mika blinked at me as I folded it with care. "You're so weird, Ryu."
"Thanks!" I enthusiastically said to her.
"I feel bad that we were late coming home. I feel like I should give you more-"
"No, this is all I want." And I picked up the maps on the table. "Oh yeah, these too."
"Okay…"/

No one probably mentioned this little fact of me babysitting them once or twice because it was insignificant in general…

"What's that?" Tatsuha's head stared over my shoulder while holding me tighter.

I turned my head to regard his profile. I smiled widely. "Wouldn't _you_ like to know?"

His left eyebrow raised as his lips turned into a full-fledged, amused smirk. Without taking off his eyes off me, he took the cloth from my hands and placed it on the nightstand. Then, without warning, he took his arms off me and jumped off the bed.
I attempted to get the cloth, but he turned around and caught my wrists and crossed them while pinning them over my head.

His eyes burned into mine.

"I love it when you look and talk to me like that, Ryu."

I blinked at him and smiled widely. "Ditto."

After all these years, I was proud to say that his eyes never looked away from mine.
Not ever.

I pulled my body up with my tongue sticking out to catch his as he leaned down to kiss me…

Since that day, I claimed him as my own.
And I didn't care how I was going to do it…

/"I'll be your singer, Tohma." Without reservation, I sat on his lap. I pulled on his tie to have his face in front of mine. I was dead serious. "_I'll do anything you want me to._"
Tohma smirked with a deal already forming in his head. He pushed his hand under my shirt for a moment. "I'm listening."
"But under one condition."
"And what is that?"
"Let me have that boy…"
He laughed as I described what he looked like. I just didn't tell him how much I had watched him from afar.
Rubbing his thumb on one of my nipples, he smiled. "Deal."/

I didn't care if I had to sell myself to the blond-haired devil that loved and envied my freedom…

Like you, I just couldn't see anyone else.
No one but you, Tatsuha.

Owari.
-
Author's note: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and though I had planned to release another Gravi fic before this one, I thought I would start with this one. The other one requires a little more attention since it is 'special' in its topic. This isn't to say that I did not have fun with this 'suddenly inspired' fic or that it is less important. C'mon, it's my beloved Ryuichi! ^_^
In my quest to give a twist within the Ryuichi and Tatsuha relationship since it gets harder when I've done many things (you know I'm a masochist), I made this little fic for them. Also, I wanted to add some different aspect to the interactions of the Gravitation characters presented here. I feel that I must venture out a bit. (Also, I like my drooling Tatsuha. He's KAWAII~!)

As always, I appreciate your support, love, and feedback. I am truly appreciative of it. I am happy once again that you have chosen to spend your time with me once more and hope to continue to bring you fics that enlighten you and personally give me a sense of accomplishment in being able to be one small step closer to understanding life.

Take care until next read,
Love always,
Your author Yui

February 8, 2005, 4:57 AM