Author's notes: I hope you all enjoyed the fluff at the end of Aishiteru. Now it's time to post this fic that I've been waiting to post for a long time. I announced this fic two years ago, but I kept putting it off because I kept missing my chance to post it. Now that Aishiteru is done and my mind is back on Hamtaro (I wish it was for Disgaea since I have to finish that fic soon), I can finally work on this Christmas fic.
So what gave me this idea? Home Alone, of course. It's my favorite Christmas movie, and so for Christmas, I'm writing a fic about what happens when our youngest ham hams have to fend for themselves alone in the Clubhouse. It may sound a lot like Home Alone, but I'm not trying to copy it (though you'll definitely be treated to the usual taste of clever traps). And yes, this is going to be a Cappy/Penelope fic. So here's my Christmas present to all of you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hamtaro, though I do own a couple of upcoming characters. I don't own the song 'I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus'. I do own Cappy's song 'Can't Wait Till Next Year', cuz I made the lyrics myself.
Chapter 1: The Big Mishap
It was quite a noisy night in the Ham Ham Clubhouse. Many of the ham hams were moving about, getting their backpacks ready. What was the occasion? Well, their owners have left them for awhile for Christmas vacation. When they left, the ham hams wanted to go on a vacation too, so they decided to take a trip to Winter Ham Ham Land. The trip was tomorrow and so the ham hams were frantic, searching for all their belongings. Arguments erupted as usual, especially between Dexter and Howdy, but it was nothing too big. However, one ham ham, the star of the fic, was having a hard time packing his belongings. After all, his big saucepan hat was too big to pack. He needed some advice. He decided to look to his role model first.
"Hey Boss, can you help me pack my hats?"
"Sorry Cappy, but I'm busy right now!"
"You are NOT! You're just gawking at Bijou again!" Maybe it was because he was frustrated, but Cappy should never say anything that would irritate Boss, especially when it concerns Bijou. As punishment, Boss pulled off Cappy's hat and smacked him with it.
"SHUT UP AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE!"
Cappy took this as his cue to leave him alone, and so he did. Oddly he enough, he encountered Bijou. The French girl ham was pretty good at packing things nicely. Maybe she could help him. "Hey Bijou, can you help me pack my things?"
Unfortunately, Bijou had to politely decline. "Sorry, Cappy but I'm pretty busy right now. You should keep trying."
"But I tried already! Could you at least give me a hand?"
Bijou, due to the overload of work, was getting a little frustrated with the helpless boyham. She did try to remain calm, but she told Cappy, "There are people like you who are in France and we call them 'Les Incompetent'!"
"Wha? Wait up, Bijou!"
Sandy noticed that Cappy needed help. She would gladly help, if she and Maxwell weren't so busy. She decided to turn to someone else. "Hey Stan, could you help him?"
Surely enough, Stan responded the same way Boss did. "Let someone else help him! He's completely helpless on his own! What do you expect me to do? Go and shake his paw and say, 'Congratulations shrimp, you're an idiot'?"
"I'M NOT AN IDIOT, JERKWAD!" Cappy retaliated after overhearing Stan.
"Oh, I'm seriously hurt by your comeback, short stuff!" Stan, ignoring Cappy's outbursts, brought his backpack near the top of the stairs and tossed it into the room below. "Heads up!" What he didn't know was that there was someone coming in…
"Hey, excuse m--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Seeing the poor ham being attacked by Stan's bag, the ham hams below went and assisted the knocked out ham. Luckily, he came to his senses faster than anyone expected. It looked like a police ham. Shiny badge and uniform…yup, it's a police ham. The oddest thing about the ham though was that shiny gold tooth. It made a glint every time he opened his mouth. "Ow…damn…afta I'm done I betta go grab'a cannoli (It's a Brooklyn accent for those who don't know)."
"Hey, are you alright?" Panda asked as he helped the guy get on his feet.
"Yeah. I'm just'a comin' around the place to check up on da place. You know, to make sure if you guys'er have protect-shin durin the holidays. Seeing you guys are packin up, you must be goin away. You sure yur house's gonna be fine?"
"I'm sure it will be. After all, we made sure this place is safe from intruders, and we have Snoozer watching over the Clubhouse."
"Snooza?"
"I'm…right over…zuzuzu…" Snoozer yawned in his sleep as he waved to the police ham from above. "Don't worry…I'll protect the place…"
"I'm sure you'll…"
Meanwhile, Penelope was tugging on Pashmina's scarf, begging for something. Pashmina, acting as Penelope's protective 'sister', firmly shook her head.
"No, Penelope. You're not allowed to see the movie Howdy made."
However, Penelope refused to stop. She just kept on squeaking. "Ookwee ookwee!"
"Penelope! Don't say that about, Howdy! I'm sure that if Howdy says it's bad, then it's bad…besides, I think it was horrible anyway…"
"Ookwee?"
Over in another room, Dexter was packing his things. When everything was away, he sat down on his bed. Unfortunately, a loud sound echoed through the room…
PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!
Noticing Howdy now rolling on the floor and laughing, he realized that Howdy had set up yet another prank. "OH HOW MATURE, HOWDY!" Dexter scolded him as he picked up the whoopee cushion he just sat on. "Very mature indeed…"
"Aw, c'mon Dex! Lighten up!" Once again, another argument was brewing. However, before it could start, the door suddenly swung open. Standing in the doorway was Cappy, and Howdy wasn't exactly happy to see him. "Dun you know how t' knock!
"Sorry, but Boss says I'm sleeping upstairs on the top floor again! I don't wanna sleep up there! Can I sleep in here?"
"I'm in here to sleep, not baby-sit!"" Before he could say anything else, a sound caught his ears. It was a silent, ominous sound of feet hitting the hard snow. Howdy easily recognized that sound. "That sound…it must be ol' Cutter!" Wanting to see if he was correct, Howdy raced over to the window. Dexter and Cappy looked at each other for a second before joining him near the window. When they peered outside, a lone black cat was prowling over the snow. "Yup, that's ol' Cutter."
"Who?"
Howdy, who knew the story behind Cutter, decided to tell Dexter and Cappy Cutter's story. "Ever heard of the 'Osakan Throat Slasher'?"
"No."
"That's him." Howdy said, pointing to the demonic feline below. "About five years ago in Osaka, he killed his owners and every pet on the block. Within those five years, he traveled all the way to Tokyo, killing anything in his path."
"So why doesn't the pound or something catch him?"
"He's never there when he's reported. His black coat camouflages him from everyone, allowing him to sneak up on them. When the pound arrives, they find heads scattered everywhere, whether it's a human, dog, cat, or even a ham ham." It was like a ghost story. Dexter and Cappy didn't exactly believe in these stories, but the cat did look as evil as Howdy described him. Finally, Dexter noticed Cutter doing something odd.
"So what's he doing now?"
"He's breathing all over th' ground. His breath then goes t' the decaying flesh of dead animals, transforming them into…more Cutters."
"Whoa…" Dexter and Cappy just kept staring at that cat. They've seen many cats before, and while all of them were scary, none were as frightening as this one. Suddenly, Cutters turned his head toward the window. His glowing amber eyes pierced right through their hearts. Not wanting to be the cat's dinner, the three frantically closed the curtains, hoping this was the last time that they would see Cutter…
Over near the stairs, Penelope just kept on following Pashmina, begging her for something.
"Look, I told you. You can't sleep with us tonight. There isn't enough room."
"Ookwee ookwee!"
"Penelope, stop bugging me and do something else!" Pashmina then turned away from her and went downstairs.
At this point, Penelope was so mad that just kept squeaking stuff upstairs. "OOKWEE OOKWEE OOKWEE OOKWEE OOKWEEOOKWEEOOKWEE!"
As Pashmina went downstairs, the police ham came up to her and asked, "Do you understand any of that?"
"Yes…" Pashmina said in a tired tone. "Penelope is saying something like 'You all treat me like scum! When I'm old enough and get married, I'M LIVING ALONE I'M LIVING ALONE!"
"Ah I see. Wait a minute…how can ya get married and live alone?"
"Dunno."
Finally after a bit of packing and arguing, the ham hams were ready to settle down. They obviously needed a rest.
"Is that everything?" Hamtaro asked them all. Everyone nodded in agreement. They were all so tired. It's time they had a break.
"So what do we do?"
"Anyone up for Ham Ham Karaoke?"
"Yeah!"
Few minutes some and crappy singing later…
"ENOUGH HOWDY! NO MORE! MAKE IT STOP!" The ham hams begged their current singer. They couldn't stand hearing one more line of the 'I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus' song, especially considering that this was Howdy who was singing.
"But it's funny!"
"HOWDY!"
"Fine…" Howdy groaned as a 'you never let me have any fun' quietly slipped out of his mouth. "Okay who's up?"
"Me!" A perked up Cappy exclaimed, standing upright and waving his hands.
"Hold yer horses! You can go now!"
Cappy happily ran over to Howdy and grabbed the microphone without saying a word. He is a child after all. You can't blame him for being all excited. A lot of the other ham hams liked his spirit, though some were indifferent towards it due to their reluctance to let Cappy sing. Either way, Cappy searched through the ham ham karaoke machine for a song. Since it was Christmas Season, all the songs were Christmas songs. Everything from the traditional 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' to more recently, and more obscene one's like 'The Twelve Pains of Christmas'.
After a bit of scrolling, Cappy found the perfect song. For everyone's viewing pleasure, Cappy was singing 'Can't Wait Till Next Year'
When people get you down
All you do is make a frown
It feels like everyone gets you
They push you all around
However nothing is permanent
Your life will soon change
At the drop of a ball
Your soul will lift up
Look forward to a new beginning
And get off your butt
I wanna leave this place
I wanna be alone
I'm nothing but a kid
My world is nothing but my own
But give it one more year
Give myself time to cheer
Time to say goodbye to my fears
I can't wait till next year
They had to admit. Cappy was singing pretty well. The song was pretty good, but even then, all the ham hams were laughing at Cappy. Cappy didn't know what was going on. He felt kind of hurt in a way. He did his best to sound as good as he can, and yet everyone was still teasing him. Was it simply because he was young? Suddenly, a squeak rang out, followed by loud shouts coming from two ham hams. Soon more ham hams started to shout. Loud crashes could be heard from behind Cappy. When Cappy turned around, he couldn't believe his eyes: Penelope was being pulled away from Boss. It seemed like Penelope got into a fight with him and now had to be restrained. Boss was alright, but he obviously wasn't very happy.
"You lil brat! What the hell is wrong with you!"
Pashmina was especially furious. She had never seen Penelope attack like that in all her life. "What's the matter with you, Penelope? Tell me why you attacked Boss?"
"Ookwee ookwee!" Penelope tried to squeak out everything. Of course, only Pashmina knew what she was saying, so everyone felt they could keep it a secret from Cappy. However, Cappy kept his own little secret from them: he could understand what Penelope says, and he was very upset to hear what happened. According to Penelope, Boss was taking two sticks and performing rude gestures, such as pretending to drum Cappy's head or making horns. Cappy didn't notice, since he was busy singing the song. The ham hams couldn't do anything because they were too busy laughing at Cappy. Of course, this infuriated Penelope, seeing that not even Pashmina would do anything to help, so she took matters into her own hands. Cappy felt so hurt that Penelope would do all that for him and yet...
Pashmina, on the other hand, thought of it as being childish. "Even if that's true, you can't just pounce on Boss like that. He's older than you and you have to respect him."
"And let him walk all over me like that!" Everyone turned to Cappy. There was fury in his eyes. "If it weren't for you guys, Penelope wouldn't have tried to beat up Boss, and now you're blaming her for that!"
Boss, not wanting to deal with the other little one, wanted him to stand down. "Quiet you little brat! This has nothing to do with you!"
"Nothing to do with me? You're the one mocking me behind my back! Why should I have to respect you of all hams?"
"WHAT HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?"
"You heard me, Boss!"
Before anything could be done, Pashmina grabbed Cappy and Penelope by their wrists tightly with the eyes of fierce mother. "You two, come with me upstairs!"
"Why!"
It was clear that both Cappy and Penelope were upset, but the ham hams simply needed time alone from them.
Pashmina sighed and forcefully pulled away the two little hamsters. "Say goodnight, you two!"
"'Goodnight you two'!" Cappy mockingly replied. Penelope squeaked something with Cappy at the same time. She probably said the same thing. Everyone else groaned as they left.
As Pashmina pulled the two away, Penelope squeaked several phrases. "Ookwee ookwee!"
"Penelope's right! You guys treat us like scum! You don't even care about what happened!"
Pashmina, though, wouldn't budge. She continued to drag the two upstairs. Unfortunately, she did not see the police ham in front of her, which caused her to bump to him. "Ouchichi. I'm sorry. Are you alright?"
"No no, I'm fine. I just wanted t' y'know, wanted to see if yur house was safe." The police officer looked down at the two little ones. They felt something awkward as he smiled at them, a glint of light shinning from his gold tooth. It felt like he wasn't a real police ham.
"Well the clubhouse has been safe no matter wh--" However, a few tugs interrupted her. Pashmina gave both Cappy and Penelope murderous glares to stop them, but they would stop. She turned to the officer with a bit of frustration in her face. "Excuse me, but a couple of hams here are out of line." She then grabbed the two and marched them upstairs.
The officer just kept grinning. "Don't worry about it! I talked with yur friends! Yur clubhouse is in good hands!" There was something odd about this cop. The funny thing is that only two ham hams knew it…
"There are fourteen ham hams in this clubhouse and you two are the only ones who make trouble!"
"Well we're the only being dumped on…" Cappy pouted. Penelope squeaked along with him.
"You two are the only ones acting up! Now get upstairs!"
"We are upstairs, dummy!" Cappy yelled back. Unfortunately, that's not what Pashmina meant. Pashmina pulled open a door that went into the higher parts of the clubhouse. The two gasped as they stared into the dark room. "The third floor…?"
Pashmina simply ignored their fear. Now was the time for to be more firm and hand out their punishment. "Upstairs."
Penelope, obviously afraid of the dark, tried to get Pashmina to reconsider. "Ookwee ookweee."
However, Pashmina wouldn't budge, no matter how much Penelope begged. "Don't be silly. You two are together. Besides, with the way things are going now, I'm probably more scarier than anyone, so don't push my buttons."
Penelope bowed her head. She was hoping to at least make Pashmina feel a little better. "Ookweee…"
"It's too late for apologies, Penelope." Pashmina said in her firm tone. She pointed to the dark room, showing that she wasn't going to show any mercy to the two. "Upstairs."
Cappy infuriated by Pashmina's reaction, took Penelope and stomped his up the stairs. He turned back to Pashmina and angrily exclaimed, "She apologizes to you and yet turn a cold should to her! That proves it! All of you hate us!"
Despite what Cappy said, Pashmina calmly replied, "Then maybe you two should look for new friends."
Cappy didn't seem to care about Pashmina's opinion. After all, she didn't even help him when Boss was fooling around. She only laughed. "I don't need new friends! I don't anyone, but Penelope! After what you guys did, I wouldn't be surprised if you rotted in a gutter die, cuz you guys suck!"
"Just stay up there and think about your actions! I don't want to see you for the rest of the night!"
What Cappy said next was something that he and Penelope would regret hearing, not to mention open the eyes of some ham hams. "I don't wanna see you for the rest of my life! And I don't wanna see the rest of the ham hams neither!" Penelope looked at Cappy. She didn't know how to respond, and neither did Pashmina.
Even then, Pashmina remained firm, like an unforgiving mother. "I hope you don't mean that. You'd be pretty sad if you woke up one morning to find that you didn't have any friends."
"No…I wouldn't…"
"So say it again. Maybe it will happen."
Cappy hesitated for a few seconds. He didn't know if he could handle being on his own. After that one time Boss told Cappy about the dangers of being a field hamster, Cappy made sure he wouldn't end up being alone again. The one thing Cappy kept thinking about was whether or not he had the maturity to live on his own.
Finally, after the long silence, Penelope held Cappy's paw and nodded. She believed in Cappy and could not let the other ham hams abuse him. Not even Pashmina. And so she turned to Pashmina for the last time and yelled out to her, "OOKWEE OOKWEEE OOKWEE OOKWEE OOKWEEOOKWEE OOOOKWEEEE!" She pulled Cappy into the room with her and slammed the door shut.
Pashmina, almost shocked by what Penelope said, solemnly went down the stairs. In the main room of the clubhouse, everyone seemed to have settled down. All the bags were ready for tomorrow.
Stan kicked back in his chair and sighed. "Finally, we're ready to leave. Thank god, and I thought I was gonna die from all that work."
"Idiot! You didn't even do a thing!"
Right when Stan was about to react, Panda noticed Pashmina's gloomy mood and asked her, "What's wrong, Pashmina?"
"Oh it's nothing…"
"I heard Penelope screaming upstairs. Did, like, something bad happen up there?"
Pashmina sighed before giving her answer. "Cappy said something about us hating him so I retaliated and tried to get him to shut up. Then he said that he never wanted to see all of us for the rest of his life. I thought that Cappy was overreacting so I tried to remain calm. That's when Penelope screamed at me. She said 'I HOPE I DON'T SEE ANY OF YOU JERKS AGAIN!' It just makes me wonder…did I do the right thing?"
"Oh, don't worry about those two…" Boss said from his big chair. "They're young. They don't know the outcome of whatever comes out of their mouth. Just give them some time. By tomorrow they'll forget about the entire thing."
Everyone agreed. Youngsters won't hold a grudge that long after all. Well, everyone agreed, except for Pashmina, who began to give Boss an evil glare. "You know Boss…it really was your fault to begin with. You just had to go ahead and make fun of Cappy while he was singing…"
"All of you were laughing along with me, so don't put all the blame on me!"
"But…"
"Look, Pashmina! They'll forget about it in the morning! Let's just go to sleep! Sabu is getting his friends over at eight to bring us to Winter Ham Ham Land, so we have to be ready. So remember everyone, eight sharp. And for the last time Pashmina, stop worrying about them. By tomorrow, they won't even remember what happened. Now go to sleep." And with that, Boss turned off the lights and let everyone drift into slumber land. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits.
Everyone except Cappy and Penelope. Up in the dark third floor of the clubhouse, they kept thinking over and over about what just happened. To them, this was a big scar that the ham hams left in their hearts, quite contrary to what Boss said. Because of their betrayal, only one thought echoed through their minds.
I wish they'd all just disappear…
The next morning, there was a loud knock on the door. Boss didn't know why the didn't alarm go off, but he soon remembered that he broke in his struggle with Penelope last night. He then decided to take a look at the clock on the wall. And lo and behold, Boss' eyes began to widen. Soon…
"GET UP EVERYONE! GET YOUR BUTTS OUT OF BED!"
A couple of the ham hams were a little reluctant to get up, especially Stan, who had a great dream. "Stop it, Boss…all the girls belong to me…zu…."
Boss proceeded with yelling at Stan. "NO YOU IDIOT! IT'S EIGHT O' CLOCK! WE SLEPT IN!"
Soon, the ham hams bolted from their sleep. "WHAT!" This soon led to a flurry of hurled bags, angry shouts, and questions asked several times over.
Over on the other side of the door, Sabu was beckoning for them to come out. He needed to get the ham hams out to Winter Ham Ham Land as soon as possible. "You guys said eight'o clock!"
"Hold on!" Boss shouted from the other side. "We'll be there in a bit!"
"You guys better get out here cuz--" Before Sabu could finished, all the ham hams raced out for the pigeons and doves that stood before the clubhouse, not noticing that they were marching all over Sabu. One by one, the ham hams chose their bird and boarded it, ready for their vacation. Sabu got and rubbed his head, groaning cusses and what not. "Next time you want a ride, make sure you're out on time. Now did you guys forget anything?" The ham hams shook their heads. It seems like they didn't leave anything behind. They got all their stuff and were ready to go. "Alright, then Winter Ham Ham land, here we come!"
Back at the clubhouse, two little ham hams emerged from the top floor. They overheard a commotion a few minutes ago and tried to find out what was going on, but there was no one there to tell them. Few minutes later, they began searching the place for any clues to the whereabouts of the ham hams.
"Ookwee? Ookwee? Ookwee? Ooookweee? (Translation: Pashmina? Sandy? Bijou? Where are you?)" Penelope squeaked as she searched the clubhouse. Unfortunately, there was no reply.
"Boss? Howdy? Stan? Hamtaro? Okay, tell me where you are, cuz this joke isn't very funny!" Cappy called out to the apparently absent ham hams.
After some frantic searching, they decided to check one of the tunnels. However, Penelope began to slow down and Cappy's fur began to stand on its ends. This tunnel always gave them the creeps, because they felt like something was going to go up and eat them. Soon that presence was felt again. The source came from a pair of red eyes and glowing teeth, coming from the shadows.
"Oookweee…"
"Don't worry, Penelope! It's just our imaginations running wild." Cappy reassured her. His bravery didn't last very long. Soon, a dark and ominous voice echoed through the tunnels.
CAPPPPPPPPYYYYY
PENELOPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"Yeah, an incredibly real imagination!" Cappy pulled Penelope back to the clubhouse and slammed the door shut. The two huffed and puffed, thinking about what happened. After analyzing all the observations they collected from this search, they came up with one conclusion. "We made the ham hams disappear…"
"Ookwee…" Penelope almost wanted to cry at this point, but soon a couple of thoughts came to mind. Same with Cappy. They began to hear familiar voices.
Congratulations, shrimps, you guys are idiots!
No, you two are what we call 'Les Incompetent'
I'm gonna feed y'all to Slasher
You two brats are so annoying! Get outta my face!
Of everyone here, you guys have to make trouble for us! Upstairs!
After going over what happened last night, big smiles appeared on their faces. It was an unexplainable joy. The one thing they've been trying to obtain has finally come. The one thing that all the other ham hams objected to. The one thing that was deemed impossible.
"We made the ham hams disappear!"
"OOKWEE!"
The clubhouse has officially been taken over…and boy, it was a big surprise…
Well, hope you like my Christmas gift! Look forward to the next messed up chapter. So what's happening in the next chapter? What happens to all kids when they're alone with no rules or no bossy people? They get high!