Callin 2 Da Nite
The mountain air was thick with humidites as Imperial Airman Strom Verus tactfully sneak across the wayside of Hill 666. Taking into consideration that he stayed beneath the defillade or else he would get spotted by those eldars and get gunned the fuck down.
"I have to be careful of the defillade or else i will get gunned the fuck down" mumble Strom to himself.
As he creep over the crest of the hill, he spotted a group of Kroots chillaxin next to a small rock down inside of the valley. He took note that their weapons, whatever those sticky gun things the kroot use, were hastily stacked in a clearing not far away from their owners! Strom take am inute to think to himself that maybe if he was fast enough he could kill all the kroot before they grab their weapons to return fire on him!
"Heh" Strom mumbled to himself "If I can play my cards right, I could shoot these guys before they grab their weapons and return fire on me!"
And so strom calibratd the sight on his super ex mega hot las M42 model Longlas, as he scoped in on the enemy he took note that their range from him was 900 meters, He was gonna noscope these kids. As he calibrated his sight, he heard a rustling behind him and he turn around really quick to meet who, or what ever it was!
Through the darkness he made out a gay looking figure that emerged from the shadows, before rolling his eyes and sighing.
"Talos!" He quietly shout, "You can't go trying to sneak up on me like that! Didn't I tell you to go back to camp anyway? You'll get in my way, kid."
"But I want to be a good imperial noscoper just like you!" said Talos
Talos, he had a hard life, he was born in a small village, he was still a child when his village was raided by soldiers, Dark Eldar, soldiers. Torn from his elders, he was made to perform their sexual favors. With each new post, his masters changed, along with the fetishes they made him fulfill. His thoughts, personality, how he saw gay and straight,
Sex. Can. Kill.
His asshole was being ruled by a foreign tongue when Strom saved him from his captors, it took a long time to remediate sang from the gayness that had sought over him, the first week he couldnt stop Talos from trying to lick his penis, it was very discomforting and gay, he did not like it. But finally, Talos was cured (Partially) of his gayness after months of rigorous remediation, and he was now deemed fit by the comissariat (ogre commissar) to fight for the emperor once more!
"Talos, you can barely get off my dick, let alone aim a lasgun" Said strom to Talos "If you're going to become a noscoper like me, you have to learn to control your impulses." he continued as he line up the shot and zeroed in on the Kroots. "Watch this, kid." he whispered as he aim down the scope!
*BLAM*
One Kroot died the others were spooked
*BLAM*
Another Kroot fell, this time the rest of them were on their feet and frantically looking about, trying to discertain the whereabouts of the sniper, and just as one Kroot bent down behind another to pick up some equipment
*BLAM!*
Strom had shot two Kroots with one lasbolt! (VERUS ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?)
As the other Kroot finally made a dash for their weapons, Verus swap his longlas to full auto mode, and engaged the stragglers!
*BURST BURST BURST*
And he got the spraydown and aced the enemy squad! As he turn around to lie on his back and address Talos, he noted his mouth was wide open and was motioning over to his penis again
"Talos, stop" said strom
"But I can't help it, you noscope so good that it gets my gayness going" said Talos
Strom punch Talos in the face again so that he learned not to suck the dick and turned on his preysense goggles.
As he scanned the horizon he noticed that one of them was still alive!
"Talos, if you want to suck dick so bad, there's a kroot still left alive down there"
"VERUS ARE YOU KIDDING ME" Talos exclaimed, "I will go down there right now!"
Strom took this chance to run away again, he didn't like Talos at all, he took every oppurtunity to abandon him and hoped that maybe one day, the Eldar would capture him again, just so that he would stay the hell away from his unit.
"Rock X-Ray this is Rock 13 Actual" Strom paged over the radio
"Rock 13 this is Rock X-Ray, send it" Replied the guardsman on the other end
"This is Rock 13, be advised I neutralised 5 enemy contacts and am now requesting immediate extraciton, stand by to copy grid, over"
"This is Rock X-Ray acknowledging you have neutralised 5 fags and are now requesting evac, standing by to copy grid, over."
"This is Rock 13, Grid VQ 5249 7146"
"This is Rock X-Ray I copy Grid VQ 5245 7146, over"
Strom got a little flustered that this stupid private couldn't even copy a grid down correctly, he let out some stress before transmitting again.
"I say again grid, 6, over!"
"Ohhh" said Rock X-Ray "I copy Grid 5249 7146"
"That's a good copy Rock X-Ray, Rock 13 out."
Strom put down the vox and begin moving to his Landing zone for pickup, hoping that Talos would fall behind.
As Strom finally reach the LZ, he saw that i was hot! There were more guardsmen trying to extract and he saw that they were bein attacked by some Tau Fire Warriors!
And they look like they was spoilin for a fight!
Strom knew the platoon leader and got on his frequency
"Rock 26 this is Rock 13"
"Rock 13 Rock 26!" exclaimed the PL
"Roger be advised I am 170 meters to your 2 o'clock, will be able to provide suppressing fire from here, over!"
"That's a good copy Rock 13, make us proud, Rock 26 out!"
Strom knew Rock 26, aka Isak Chelkar, he was a good boy who didnt do nothin but be loyal to his men and bring them out alive. Isak had a decent life, his father was never around and his mother was a tire, the relationship was always very nasty in the house, and one day Isak grew tired of it and mounted his tire mother onto his vehicle to drive around town, the Tire village saw this as an utter DISGRACE and outcasted him to join the PDF, being the only human in the Tire Planet's PDF, he rose through the ranks quickly, becoming one of hte top generals in the whole PDF in a short amount of time. But htere was conspiracy amongst the tire ranks, they feared the human was becoming to powerful, too greedy, so they plotted to banish him from their home of Rubbercus and got him stuck into the Imperial Guard! Now he was on this backwash planet, fighting for the lives of himself and his men!w
"You gonna be ok buddy" Muttered strom to himself as he begin to set up his long las.
He took a moment to survey the battlefield, he noticed that there were multiple squads of fire warriors amongst the valley behind rocks and entrenched inside of various crevices, he also took note of the CUTTREFISHUH transport that was providing suppressing fire, with an ethereal chillaxin on top of it.
"heh, nows my chance to stop this before it gets any worse" thought Strom to himself
He took a moment to calibrate his sight, and drew a bead on the back of the Etheral's skull, waiting for the right time to hold his breath and squeeze the trigger.
"Heh, got you now you sonova b-"
SUDDENLY SOMETHING JUMP OUT THE BUSHES FROM BEHIND HIM
"There you are!" Screamed Talos, "I thought you would leave me to die again!"
"Talos not now god damn i-"
*BLAM*
Talos had made Strom ND into the air, and now everyone knew of their position
"Get the fuck down, Talos" Screamed strom but ti was too late as talos got tore to pieces by railgun fire
"Serves him right" said strom as he relocate and drew another bead on the ethereal, before squeezin the trigger and noscoping him!
The entire Fire Warrior platoon went into a frenzy, making them short work for the Imperial Guard platoon they had been wreckin'.
But the victory was short lived! as the valkyries approach chelkar notice the kroots hd followed talos! and they looked like they was spoling fir a fight.
Strom ran down the mountainside into the valley to escape on the valkyrie, dodging enemy fire left and right, noticing that his gear was too much of a burden on his back.
"I gotta ditch this shit" thought Strom as he throw the Long Las to the side and picked up a Lascarbine from a fallen guardsman.
As he neared the open hatch of one of the Valkyries, he noticed Isak was there, waving him in, shouting motivational expletives all the way.
"I'm on the skid let's go! Pick up the pace we're about to elevator up!" screamed Chelkar
Strom picked up the pace and had to jump for it as the Valkyrie began to thrust itself into the air, barely being able to jump up and grab Isak's hand for him to pull inside the hatch before it took off!
"Are you hurt?" asked Isak
"No, but..." Strom rambled as he glanced over his right shoulder.
"Sir! It's Talos!" yelled one of the guardsmen
And there he was.
Running through enemy fire, Talos sprinted down the mountainside, suffering sever hemoraghing from extremities, it was a miracle he was even able to walk. As he continued to run, a plasma grenade went off not too far from him, knocking him into a crater.
"YOU GET OUT OF THAT HOLE!" screamed the guardsman, who was now standing at the hatch opening,
All was still for a few moments, until finally Talos rolled out of the crater and began sprinting towards the valkyries once again
frantically glancing over to Isak, the guardsman asked "ARE YOU GONNA SAVE HIM OR NOT?"
Chelkar eyed Talos with extreme consideration before muttering, "You make it home, now.."
As Talos kept sprinting, a railgun bolt pierced through his left leg, causing him to stop.
"SURVIVE"
Hobbling around on one leg for a little bit, he eventually fell to the ground.
Chelkar motioned the valkyrie to land, before ditching most of his equipment, leaving only his las pistol and battle belt on his person.
As the valkyries descended onto the battlefield, he motioned to the guardsman to man the multi-laser turret before turning to the rest of his men and stating.
"I hope y'all like Fag lover meat! Because that's exactly what i'm gonna be serving up in this verti-bird!" he said has he turn his attenion from his men to the guardsman on the turret.
"COVER ME YOU LIMP DICK FUCK-UP!" Chelkar screamed as he unclipped his battle belt and stormed out of the valkyrie armed only with his laspistol.
Chelkar charged into the fray, many kroot attempted to oppose him,
"FAG ASS KROOTS, I. SEE. YOU!" he exclaimed before aiming his laspistol at them,
He was a pretty good shot with his laspistol, and dispatched them quickly. As he continued running towards his downed man, he noticed a group of fire warriors emerge from behind a shrub in an attempt to ambush him.
Combat rolling behind some debris, chelkar picked a shotgun up off of the dead body of one of his guardsmen.
"HOLD ON TALOS!", exclaimed chelkar as he took aim with the shotgun, taking care of the enemy, its pellets tearing through the shrubbery and into the flesh of the Tau warriors.
Taking this time to reload his shotgun, he stood up before racking the slide and pressing onward.
"FUCK YOU XENOOOS" The guardsman on the Multi-laser screamed as he dealt scorching death onto the remaining fire warriors. Now with firepower on his side, Chelkar charged again towards Talos, dispatching several more xenos with his shotgun the further into enemy territory he went. Eventually he rolled into the crater Talos had fallen into, and saw he was still alive.
"H-help me" Talos weakly let out, as most of his blood was gone. He had at least taken the time to apply a tourniquet onto his extremeties, which was probably the reason he was still conscious.
"Don't worry kid, I got you" said chelkar as he lifted Talos up by his arms and began sprinting back to the valkyrie. As Chelkar began running back, he heard loud, mechanical thumping. He glanced back, just in time to see three broadsides tear through the forest shrubbery!
"Oh fuck" said chelkar as he began to pick up the pace! Chelkar's ears began to ring as the Broadsides' intercom systems came online and began to play the most terrible music, most likely chosen by Human Tau Sympathisers as propoganda to coerce more humans into their cause.
"JUST ONE THING, COMMUNICAAATIIOOON" exclaimed the broadsides' speakers as they began to dig into the side of the mountain in tune with the horrendous song.
Chelkar knew if he didn't make it back to the valkyrie in time that he was a no-go at this station, so he began to sprint even faster, barely making it inside of the hatch before the broadsides started unleashing its salvos onto the battlefield!
Strom and Chelkar surveyed the devastation this battle had wrought on him and his men as the hatch closed, any men left on the battlefield forever lost to da sands of time.
"Well, that was a wild ride." Chelkar muttered to Strom
"I guess, why did you save the kid?" asked strom, "He's utterly useless, why risk your life for someone who will only get you killed or try to suck your dick?"
"Because you have to see the good in everyone, strom." Said Chelkar before glancing over to the medic, "Is he stabilised?"
"Yes sir, but barely, he won't survive long unless we get him to a hospital." replied the medic.
"Let's hope Rock X-Ray hasn't had any fun while we were away" Said Chelkar, as the valkyries changed their heading and he sat down w/ strom to talk about old times.
TO BE CONTINUE!?
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