Takes place in the Twilight Princess universe, for reasons that will become obvious. Also stupid. Stupid reasons.

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The throne room atop Hyrule Castle was... dynamic. The very essence of the room seemed to change constantly; when visiting dignitaries were crowding the halls, one could feel the exchange of ideas and cultures in the air. When politicians and lawmakers were arguing over a treaty or tax decree, it became oppressive and distracting. When the royal family served simple dinners, there was not a more comforting and homely place in all of Hyrule. And when musicians filled the nights with music, and dancers turned an expansive floor into a playground of imagination, the soaring walls and lavish columns were inspired minds with grand thoughts of freedom and adventure.

Of course, the room changed even more drastically when the throne was commandeered.

"It really is too bad, Your Majesty."

Ganondorf casually swung one leg over the chair's side, leaning his chin on his fist. "When the Hero arrives, my victory will be incomplete." He turned, noting the levitating body hidden in a small niche underneath a great tapestry.

He sighed. "If only you could watch, if only you could truly see the moment I strike down your precious Hero. For me, there would be no greater pleasure than to see the hope fade from your eyes."

The princess's still form was hovering a few feet off the ground, arms spread. When the boy finally arrived, her body would be ready to attack. Ganondorf's spirit, combined with her magic, would provide the necessary tools to defeat the Hero of Time, though she would not witness it. Until then, it was nice to have someone to talk to. "However, it seems that even the powerful cannot have everything they want."

He straightened, sitting with his back pressed against the throne. How could she sit here, attending to kingdom matters, for hours on end? It was horridly uncomfortable. No wonder the kingdom had fallen to an invading force... twice. "But rest assured, he will be defeated," he continued. "There is nothing that can change this outcome."

Zelda didn't respond. Ganondorf frowned. "I have anticipated every problem," he insisted. "His weapons will be useless against your magic."

Still nothing. The King of Evil sighed. "Nothing can stop me now," he muttered, but there was a note of irritation in his voice. "Nothing."

The throne room was still. In the distance, a faint call of a bird echoed.

Ganondorf's eye twitched. "Forgive my impatience, princess."

A faint breeze wafted through the hall.

"But WHAT IS TAKING HIM SO LONG?!"

[]

"Alright, don't rush it now. Just steady... steady..."

Link narrowed his eyes.

"CAREFUL!" Midna shrieked. Startled, Link jerked his hand away from the board. As it had dozens of times already, the marble tumbled from its path.

"Ugh!" Link sighed in frustration, but it was nothing compared to his companion- Midna screamed, rocketing away and zooming around the cabin. "This game is impossible!"

For her part, Hena was kneeling on the floor, laughing with tears streaming down her face. "Do you- ahahaha- do you wanna-"

Link patiently waited for her to finish. Wiping her eyes, she blurted out, "Wanna try again?" before erupting in another bout of laughter.

"We will end you, filthy swindler!" Midna screeched.

"It's- it's only five Rupees a game!" Hena gasped in between peals of mirth.

"End. You."

Link held up his hand, and Midna glared at him. "Oh, come on! She deserves it! Just go all wolf-form on her sorry-"

He shook his head, concentrating. Midna paused, and she thought she could hear something as well.

"I HAVE FOUND YOU!"

The roof exploded, sending shards of wood and half-destroyed rafters flying. Link raised his shield, trying to protect Hena, as a monstrous form descended on the cabin. "Do not attempt to escape, Hero!"

Midna gaped. "What."

Ganondorf himself stood in the gap, head nearly reaching beyond the hole in the ceiling. "I've waited far too long for our duel! What has-"

He stopped. Glaring at the corner of the room, he rumbled, "What is that."

Teeth chattering in fright, Hena managed, "F-five Rupees a try?"

"I have no time for childish games."

Midna scoffed. "Childish? Yeah, right. You probably say that 'cause you know you can't beat it."

Ganondorf's eyes twitched.

[]

"Ooh, this is the tough part. Make sure you-"

"I KNOW what I am DOING. Do not pester me."

"Really? 'Cause you're rolling awfully close to the edge there..."

A faint plink sounded throughout the cabin. Huddled around the game, Hena, Link, and Midna froze.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

The walls imploded in a blast of dark magic, and Link was thrown to the ground. Looking up in horror, he saw bursts of dangerous black energy swirling around Ganondorf, and the Dark Lord was floating in the air, staring up at the heavens, an expression of pure fury in his snarling face.

"This is so stupid! The game CHEATS! How dare you attempt to trick me with empty promises and encouraging words!"

From beneath a half-collapsed shelf, Hena's voice drifted up. "But you were so close! I'm sure if you try it one more time..."

The magic slowed to a halt. Descending, Ganondorf narrowed his eyes, gazing around the wreckage and the trembling figures before him. Finally, he spoke.

"Hero, give me your wallet."