Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to these characters, those belong to Joss Whedon and whoever else.
Pizza
Spike glanced across the table and made a face at what he was seeing. "That's totally disgusting you know."
Xander gave him a Vulcan-esk look while finishing the bite he was eating. "You should be talking. I don't know of any other vampire who puts wheat-a-bix in his breakfast blood for the 'texture'."
"You don't know any other vampires personally, except for the poof."
He shrugged and took another bite. "People eat anchovies on their pizza all the time. I don't see why the Big Bad who tortured half of Europe is so squeamish all the sudden."
Spike snorted and changed the channel on the television, glancing over at Xander and the piece of pizza he was holding folded up like a hot-dog bun. "Most people don't eat raw anchovies on their pizza pet."
Xander slurped the last of the fish like a piece of wet spaghetti and smirked at his vampire, dropping the crust onto his plate. "Yeah, but now you can't complain about my anchovy breath." He moved around the couch and dropped into Spike's lap, giving him a deep kiss. "See what I mean?"
Not a Rubber Ducky
He walked into the apartment covered in green demon ichor from head to foot wanting nothing more than a hot bath and a snuggle.
Xander met him at the door with a laugh. "Well, at least with the total coverage everything matches." He took the duster off to the kitchen for a cleaning.
Spike to finish the walk to the bathroom, dropping the rest of his clothes in a pile on the floor. He mentally grumbled to himself, it was bad enough that he was going to have to throw away another pair of jeans, now his boy was leaving dirty water in the tub.
He leaned over the water, which oddly smelled of salt, to pull the plug from the drain. After feeling around, he had just pulled the chain when something wet and clammy wrapped itself around his arm. "What the bloody hell? Get it off me!"
One very unhappy drippy vampire stomped back into the kitchen with a look that would cause most mortals to quake in fear. "What was this doing in the bathtub?" He held out a hand, trying to avoid waving tentacles."
Xander had the grace to blush. "Oh, I forgot about that."
The look got even darker, if such a thing was possible. "You forgot an octopus was in our bathtub?"
"That's not an octopus, it's a squid." He tried to look innocent. "There was a marathon of Battlestar Galactica on, and uh, I forgot to eat dinner." Xander moved slowly towards the table, trying to put it between him and the visibly steaming vampire.
"I don't care if it's a herd of dancing pink elephants, why was it in our bath?
"I wanted sushi?" He was really trying to use the power of the puppy-eyes now.
"Get it off me." Spike waved his arm again, and looked astounded when the creature released its grip and landed limply on the floor with a splat.
"You killed it!"
"No, I didn't. It fell off by itself." He poked the now flaccid creature with his toe. "The Demon's blood must have poisoned it."
Xander pouted as he came back to Spike's side, and stared down at the now dead squid with a sigh, "Oh well… feel like some pizza?"