~ Oh my, what's this? Another Disney/MKR parody? GASP! Anyway, I appreciate all you people who really liked my Genius and the Beast story, and so, I bring you this one. I hope you like this, too and tell me what you think of it! ^-^ Enjoy!

Ascoteles

Cast:

Hercules – Ascot

Megara – Ryuuzaki Umi

Hades – Zagato

Zeus – Clef

Hera – Presea

Hermes – Eagle

Philoctetes – Ferio

Pain – Geo

Panic – Zazu

Muses;

Calliope – Fuu

One with long curly hair – Hikaru

Fat and funny one – Caldina (well, yeah)

One who was a bit airheaded – Tatra

One who was a bit too serious – Tarta

Pegasus – Mokona

Three Fates – Aska and her entourage

Scene 1

(Lantis comes in)

Lantis: (clears throat and says in a loud voice) Long Ago... there was a land of em…powerful gods and stupid—

Aska: SAY IT RIGHT!

Lantis: Er…extraordinary heroes. And the bravest and strongest of all these heroes was, and I really mean…WAS the mighty (starts to cackle) Ascoteles. This is so stupid? Where do they get these names? Anyway, what is the measure of the true hero? Now that is wha…

(At this point, Fuu comes in with everyone else)

Caldina: Look at him! He's making the story sound like some Cephiro tragedy!

Tarta: (rolls eyes) Maybe because it is…

Tatra: (giggles) Lighten up, dude! I mean, sister!

Fuu: (sighs) Why me? (to Lantis) We'll take it from here, darling.

Lantis: Darling? Uh…you go ahead.

Fuu: We are the Muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes.

Tatra: Heroes like Hercules…

Caldina: Dammit, it's Ascoteles! Woohoo I'd like to make some sweet music—

Fuu: Our story actually begins…

Caldina: Don't interrupt me!

Tarta: Shut up!

Hikaru: Can we continue with the movie? Now, our story actually begins long before Ascoteles. Many eons ago…

Caldina: Many MANY eons ago…

Fuu: (breaks into song) Back when the world was new
And Cephiro was down on its luck
and everywhere gigantic brutes called Rune gods ran amok!

Caldina: It was a nasty place
there was a mess wherever you stepped (steps on something squishy) What the hell is this?!

Hikaru: It's the leftover marshmallows from the last movie.

Caldina: Oh, repulsive! Where chaos reigned, and earthquakes and volcanoes never slept!

Tarta: Ooh, say it, girlfriend!

Hikaru and Tatra: And then along came Clef!

(a figurine of Clef shows up in the distance, looking around)

Fuu: He hurled his thunderbolt.

Hikaru and Tatra: He zapped!

Clef: Ahahahaha!! (throws thunderbolts at rune gods) Die you beasts!

Tarta: Locked those suckas in a vault!

Tatra: (tsk tsk) Tarta, your accent!

Hikaru and Caldina: They're trapped! And on his own stopped chaos in his tracks!

Clef: Wow, I'm this powerful? Excellent….

Caldina: And that's the gospel truth
The guy was too type A to just

Hikaru and Tarta: Relax!
Tatra: And as the world's first dish.

Caldina: Yeah baby.

Hikaru: Zeus tamed the globe while still in his youth.

Tarta: Wow, he's really old then, right?

Clef: (getting angry) First, I'm an 8-year-old kid, now I'm completely an ancient!

Tatra and Fuu: Though honey it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth!

Caldina and Tarta: On mount Olympus life was neat and smooth as sweet vermouth.

Hikaru: What's that?

Fuu: I have no idea.

Muses: Oh, honey it may seem impossible, that's the gospel truth! O-ooh-oh!

Tarta: Hoo-oh baby.

Muses: O-ooh-oh!

Caldina: Hey-yeah-yeah!

Muses: O-ooh-oh!

Tatra: Hey hey hey! (starts to dance to the Irish jig) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Tarta: TATRA! WILL YOU STOP?!

Tatra: (starts getting teary eyed) But, Tarta, I'm the elder sister!

Muses: O-ooh-oh!

Caldina: AAAH!!

Fuu: What?!

Caldina: I saw a mouse?

Hikaru: (sweatdrop) Just roll the film.

Mokona: Pu pu pu! (the Rocky theme song starts playing)

Scene 2

(We are at Clef's castle, where a party is taking place. The song "Baby Got Back" is playing in the background.)

Eagle: (playing as a DJ) I like big butts and I cannot lie!

Clef: All you other girls can't deny!

Admirers: Go Eagle! Get down! Go Clef! Weehuu!

(All the other people are groaning and dying.)

Presea: SHUT UP! YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY!

Clef: You heard the lady, Eagle. Stop singing!

Eagle: Ay, ay, sir! (takes out a bunch of flowers from the ground and shoves them at Presea) there you go, a present.

Presea: (looks disgusted) Err…thank you.

Clef: Aw…lookie. Ascoteles is so cute! Coochie-coochie coo!

Ascot: Hehe…(bite)

Clef: Aaah! Why you brat! Lightning Call!

(Chaos ensues and everyone is running around. Someone had the sense to swing her sword at the lightning, and it disappeared.)

Ascot: Why the hell did you do that for?!

Presea: Oh, look! Ascoteles has uttered his first words!

Eagle: How very…um…fitting.

Lantis: Why am I Poseidon? He doesn't say anything.

Clef: That's the point, Lantis. After the last movie, we decided to make you and Lafarga extras.

Presea: Poor Lafarga. Having to deal with being an extra again…hehe…

Ascot: (clears throat)

Clef: WHAT?!

Ascot: My present! Where is it?

Clef: Huh? Oh, right. Let's see, a dash of cumulus, a little of stratus, sugar, spice, everything nice, one egg, two bananas, a little lake, two pillows, a cradle, um…oh yeah, and marshmallows.

Eagle: Um…Clef, what are you making?

Clef: Isn't it obvious? Smores!

Ascot: I want my present!

Clef: FINE! MOKONA!

Mokona: Pu?

Clef: (grabs Mokona and throws it at Ascot) There, happy, brat?

Ascot: What does this thing do? Is it edible? (Mokona shows him some melted marshmallows and screams) Why am I always stuck with Mokona half the time?

(Zagato comes in)

Everyone: GASP! We thought you were dead!

Zagato: Yes, well, that's why I became Hades! Get it?

Eagle: Ahaha! (laughs) That was so not funny!

Everyone: (blink)

Zagato: You guys really don't have a sense of humor. (starts moving to the front) Hey there, Lantis, I see you're doing well. Hey, Emeraude, beautiful as usual. You wanna go out later?

Emeraude: Why, sure, Zagato. I'll see you later! (winks)

Lantis: (gags) Why am I here?

Zagato: Ah, lookie, it's the little sunspot! (shoves a lollipop down Ascot's throat) There's a sucker for the little sucker.

Ascot: Who you calling sucker? (conjures up a ball and throws it at Zagato's hair) Atalanta, go get it! Hehe…

Zagato: Aaah! Get that bug away from me! I'm leaving!

Clef: Go ahead. And take the bug with you.

Emeraude: Slow down, Zagato, you haven't even stayed around for the party.

Zagato: That's because Mister high and mighty Clef helped the Magic Knights to kill me and so I'm stuck working as the king of the dead.

Clef: Slow down, Zagato or you'll work yourself to death. Ha! Work yourself to death! (starts laughing)

Eagle: Ahahahaha! (laughs) This was even stupider than Zagato's!

Everyone: (blink blink)

Zagato: You guys are maniacs. I am gone, babe. (leaves)

(the party gets back to normal)

Eagle: Alright! Let's do the Macarena! Hey, where's Lafarga anyway? He's supposed to be here with you, Lantis.

Lantis: …

Eagle: Well?

Lantis: …Probably lost his way to Clef's castle. He's lurking around the set somewhere.

Aska: Now, onto Hades.

Sang Yung: Don't you mean Zagato?

Aska: Whatever.