Chapter One

For as long as I can remember I have always loved the sound of the rain as it hits the concrete. Hearing the shattered sound of each droplet as they dissipate and stream along like a tiny river into the never ending storm drains brings back such sweet childhood memories for me. I can still smell the dirty aroma as it fills the air. Living in Washington, I have certainly seen my share of rain storms. Today is April 17th, 2011. Four years after one of the most horrific events of my life occurred. That was the day my parents were murdered in our family home. That's the day I will never forget. It's the day my life shattered and my entire world crashed to pieces.

I am an only child and my mother was a school teacher in Marysville, a suburb of Everett Washington. My father was a successful entrepreneur and absolutely loved his job. My father's name was Monte Martin and he had the most successful residential building company in the area. My beautiful mother was given the name Cheryl after her Great-grandmother. It was a name that I always knew I would pass down to my daughter one day, if I ever have one. I remember that awful day so well I can still smell the roast mom had in the crockpot. She was making a huge dinner because that was also the day I graduated college. I was twenty-two and felt so free and happy. My friends had all been invited over for a celebration dinner. The weather was cold and wet, and I can even remember exactly what I was wearing that dreadful day. My amazing parents had surprised me with a robin's egg blue Kate Spade dress. It was a graduation present that they had both surprised me with that morning. The dress was fitted and had a gorgeous ruffled design around the waist. I had spent the last two months adoring it online and hinting to my mom that it should be mine.

Cecily, we wanted to give you something before graduation; before everything gets too chaotic. Your dad and I are so very proud of you. We love you so much and want you to know we will always be here for you….no matter what. You know that, right?

I can still smell the sweetness of her Oscar De La Renta perfume. The warmth of her touch, the softness in her voice; it made me feel so safe, so loved, so…at home. As I sit at a roadside café in Moses Lake off I-90, I notice that the rain has stopped, and for a brief moment I can see the most beautiful rainbow arched perfectly over my dirty-white 2003 Prius. That poor car has certainly seen better days, but it got me through my last year of high school and four years of college. How could I turn my back on such reliability? As I glance down at my cell phone I have two missed calls and a text message; all of them from my best friend, Tate.

*How's the drive, creep?*

I reply quickly because if I don't he will most likely file a missing persons report, fearing the worst. Calling me "creep" is Tate's term of endearment.

*It's quiet! Why did you talk me into this? Or better yet, why didn't you come with me?*

I begged him to move to Spokane with me, but much to my surprise he declined to join me.

*Stop being such a child. You're a grown woman, you need to move on and experience things outside of this small town.*

I can just hear the snarl in his voice. Ever since I first met Tate, which was in the second grade, he has always tried to protect me from things he thinks I cannot handle. I love him dearly and consider him to be the brother I never had, but sometimes, like siblings, I want to ring his little neck! Instead of feeding into his lecture, I don't respond back. Instead, I finish my pumpkin spice muffin and my vanilla chai tea, and I get back on the road. As I leave, I glance down and see the newspaper headline.

Ex-con found dead within hours of being released.

Sometimes I am paralyzed by the amount of chaos and violence within this world. I climb back into my cozy compact car and in a matter of minutes I'm back on the Interstate. My mind is nervous about the choice I made to pack up what little possessions I have and accept a job in Spokane. I was offered a job as a victim's advocate, something I'm all too familiar with. The pay isn't that much better than what I had as a trauma therapy counselor, but my bachelor's degree has provided me with much more than just a retail job, that's for sure. Although, I really don't care about the pay, being able to help someone through a tragic event is something I have a passion for. It's the one thing I gained from losing my parents. There is never anything good that comes from tragedy, but I feel in my heart that tragedy brings strength and courage you otherwise never knew existed.

I drive along the freeway and see old abandoned farm houses and barns that look like they are at least 100 years old, maybe older. I can't help but wonder what life was like back then. How simple and friendly people were. Now this world is ugly and cold. But that's not how I want to begin my new life. I don't want it to be consumed with negativity and hatred. I want peace and love. My mom always said I was born about 30 years too early and that I would have made the ideal hippy. Once again I'm distracted by my phone ringing and who else would it be but Tate. Thankfully, I remembered my Bluetooth and immediately answer.

"Hi, Tate," I say with a bit of annoyance on my breath.

"Hey, did you make it yet?"I'm now feeling rushed.

"Not yet, I am still about 50 miles out. You know, I haven't even picked out an apartment yet. You still have time to change your mind and meet me here. We can pick one out together!"Without hesitation he immediately starts in on me. Oh, why did I even say anything!

"Cecily Martin! You can do this on your own. You don't need anyone to hold your hand." But the fact was I did need someone to show me that I'm making the right decision. I wanted someone to share this with. Tate is my only real family. I need him to be here with me.

"Tate, I know this is hard for you to understand, but moving to Spokane was not an easy decision for me. It was actually one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make, and wanting to share this moment with someone that I look to as my family is…" I can feel my voice start to crack and I immediately tell myself not to cry. I can do this. I can tell that Tate is feeling my pain. I know he understands he just doesn't like to show it.

"Cecily, you are one of the strongest women I know. You can do this. I know you can. Sometimes stepping outside of our comfort zone is the only way we will understand how much we can actually handle." And with that, as always, Tate has brought me back to reality and out of my pity party.

"I love you, Tate; I will call you when I get checked in. So, I would say by three o'clock." Glancing at the clock in the car I see it's already one. Wow, the day has flown by.

I arrive at my hotel that I booked for the week. I am hoping that I can find an apartment in that timeframe. The good ole' Oxford Suites in downtown Spokane; the room has a king size bed, a table, a chest of drawers with a flat panel T.V. on top, and a sofa bed. There is a mirrored vanity with a sink and a door that leads to the toilet and shower. This will certainly do. Driving is exhausting and all I want to do is sprawl out on the bed and order a movie. However, I have way too much to do and not enough time to do it all. Man, these beds are comfortable!

As I slowly wake up I glace at the clock, 5:45pm! Holy shit. Tate is going to kill me! I scamper around searching for my phone. Great, I left it in the car. I cannot wait to see how many missed calls I have from him. I run outside and sure enough, my phone is still nestled in my phone holder on my dash. I cannot believe I forgot to take it with me to the room. I'm almost scared to look. Six missed calls, two voicemails, and four text messages. Oh shit, I'm in trouble! I immediately call Tate. As soon as he picks up I don't even give him a chance to say much more than two syllables.

"Tate, I am so sorry. I must have fallen asleep in the room and lost track of time. I'm sorry I forgot to call you when I checked in."Nothing but silence screams back at me. And then he releases his anger.

"Cecily, I was so worried. You cannot do that to me. I was calling the hotel and they wouldn't give me any information, I was trying to look up your latest bank transaction to see where you might be - all of these thoughts were going through…"

"Tate, I'm fine! Again, I'm sorry. If you are going to push me to be more independent you have to trust me." Again, silence.

"I know I do. You just mean a lot to me and if anything happened because I encouraged you to take this position; I just don't know what I'd do with myself."I love that kid. He's so honest and has such a good heart. He is going to make some woman really happy one day. Why is it that he's still single?

As we both hang up I am suddenly overcome with sadness. I've left the only person I can trust. I am so used to visiting my parent's gravesite when I feel lost, and right now, I feel lost. I am a good four and a half hours away from being able to do that. But, Tate is right. It's been four years. It's time for me to move on with my life. I decide to turn on my laptop and checkout Craigslist. I need to find an apartment so this move will feel more like it is really happening, and not a temporary displacement. Tate helped me put most of my things into a storage unit. If I could find a fully furnished studio apartment I would be thrilled. I type in Furnished Studio under housing for rent. The first one that comes up is a fully furnished studio for $495 per month. It's centrally located in downtown Spokane, and it would literally take me less than 5 minutes to get to work. They have several pictures of the apartment, but it looks more like a hotel room. No thanks! The next one immediately catches my attention; vintage studio apartment. It's inside an old converted mansion home and it's only $395 per month. The entire apartment is literally the size of my bedroom back home. Charming, but that's not going to work either. Moving on….the next two are beautiful but they are located way outside the city. I just don't think I want to commute that far. Unfortunately, that's it. With any luck there will be a few more available at weeks end.

I decide to check my email and one in particular catches my eye. It's from Margret, the victims' advocate services director, she also happens to be my new boss, and the woman who helped me with the loss of my parents.

From: Margret Granillo

Subject: Welcome

Date: April 5 201109:12

To: Cecily Martin

Cecily,

We have missed you so much! We are so excited for you to join our team of advocates. I hope you arrived safely and had a pleasant drive. Spokane is a big city, but nothing compared to Seattle. If you need anything at all please don't hesitate to ask. I have your office ready and waiting for you first thing Tuesday morning. I will be around all weekend if you want some company. My family is having a BBQ this weekend, we would love for you to join us! You have my number.

Sincerely,

Margaret

She reminds me a lot of my mom. I met her shortly after my parent's death. She was assigned to be my own personal victim advocate. She was there for me during the trial and I always felt comfortable talking to her. She and her family moved back to Spokane a year ago. I've missed them tremendously. She has two sons and a daughter. Her oldest son, Eric just shipped off to boot camp and her daughter, Elizabeth is a senior in high school. Her youngest son, Evan is a sophomore. They are really great kids. Although her oldest son, is very close to my age, so I'm not sure I can technically call him a kid. I decide to call Margaret instead of emailing her back. It goes to voicemail but for whatever reason I am hesitant to leave a message…awe screw it.

"Hi Margaret, I was just calling to let you know I received your email. I got into town just a few hours ago, and I would love to join you guys this weekend for a BBQ. I can't wait to see everyone. Anyway, just let me know what time and if there is anything I can bring. Talk to you soon."