Chapter One: The Muppet Show Theme
Time sure goes fast. I tell myself as I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.
I remember when I looked like a porcelain doll, now I just look like I've just come back from a war in Iceland.
Paler than pale, dark circles hanging under my washed out blue eyes, wrinkles starting to engrave into my forehead.
My eyes suddenly go watery as I bite into my cheek.
What am I doing? I thought this is what I wanted? I mean I'm finally a grown up intelligent woman! Yeah, let's shake it off and show that mature woman smile! Even if in the mirror it looks forced.
I've just got to cleanse myself is all, that'll make me feel better. It probably hasn't helped I've worn this Coldplay band shirt as pajamas for the past 8 days.
Let me take a smell of myself I'm sure I'm not tha-
Ew! Why do I smell like I've been bathing in fermented eggs!?
I can't believe I've not even had time to shower in this past week. Work is busier than ever now, although that may be because I help some others out. But it's not like they take advantage of me, you know! They just think I'm really smart is all...
Anyway time to start another day!
To Do List
(Past Annie: hi future Annie, Please can you do all the things on this list and also tick off the ones that you do so you can keep track! Also you look soooo hot today, I love your jacket 😘)
-Shower: make sure you're extra squeaky clean! You need to look like a professional, act like a professional and most importantly SMELL like a professional! ✔️ (Future Annie: I also cried a bit during this but it's fine, I was able to let some negativity out of my system!)
-Cover your face with makeup to hide that crippling low self-esteem: By looking beautiful, you'll feel beautiful! Put on some lippy, foundation and mascara to make your eyes pop! (Future Annie: Don't have time to do my full face, so I'll just put some concealer on to hide my blemishes...even if it makes my face look like a pelican)
-Eat your super healthy and nutritious breakfast, so you can feel good about the world: Use them really nice organic fruit you bought, you wanna lose that flab don't you! Take care of yourself! ✔️ (Future Annie: I ran out of time to prep and eat this so I just settled on a pop tart. Besides my blueberries looked bruised...)
-Have a relaxing morning, drink a green tea: Just watch some morning TV, something to remind you of Ahbed and Troy's morning show, and you can get prepared to start the day! (Future Annie: only had time for a red bull and past Annie why would you make me remember?)
Ride your new fancy courtesy company car, but remember to leave early: Take a drive into work in your gorgeous Fiat 500, and get there early so you look like you're committed! (Future Annie: so my car broke down halfway to work...I couldn't leave my car otherwise it would've got towed, so had to push it...It's fine though! Means I don't need to do my cardio today so, score! I guess...)
So this is what my life had turned into to. I'm a red bull & pop tart addict, Im wearing shameful makeup, I look like a sweltering pig and now I'm about to be fired for something that wasn't even my fault. It's like I'm not even myself. I've always had a plan, sure most of time I didn't always stick to the plan but now everything is always so unorganized. Every aspect of my life is a mess.
Oh god I can feel the tears coming again.
"Anita."
Perking up, I see my boss Richard Ward, staring at me with a stern look. His plump figure made him appear larger than he actually was and his bushy eyebrows always seemed to be frowning. His beady eyes made everyone uncomfortable and his large collection of muppet themed ties always gave me bad childhood flashbacks. Today was "big bird" and I can't seem to forget the time I wore a yellow dress to the Spring Fling in 10th grade where I ended up crying in the bathroom because I got compared to the classic sesame street character. I take a gulp, forcing a small smile as I walk over to him.
For some reason I've never been able to impress him, no matter how hard I try.
As I enter his office, I shuffle over to a chair in front of his desk. I can't help but stare at the Miss Piggy by his computer facing me, I don't know why but it's making me feel slightly threatened.
I divert my eyes to look at the extremely large portrait of kermit the frog on the wall behind the large purple desk chair that looks like it once belonged to Dr. Evil. Ahbed would have wanted that in his bedroom.
"Now then. Anita." Richard says as he leans back in the said purple evil chair.
"It's Annie actually, sir." I laugh nervously. He stares me down.
"Do you know what today is, Anita?"
There was no point in correcting him. I decided to reply with a shake of my head.
"Today marks the day of a special birthday" Oh my god, how could I forget his birthday! Or wait...is it already the 19th?! I cant even remember the days anymore.
"You know I'm really disappointed in you Anita. I can't believe your lack of dedication" what? I was the most dedicated colleague within that FBI department. Can't he forgive me for just not mentioning my birthda-
"The 17th marks Little Bird's birthday."
Oh.
"I mean, I always say we should respect each other and Little Bird's birthday is most precious to me and I thought you of all people would understand." I am so tempted not to roll my eyes, but I notice his hands starting to shake with his eyes going watery. I can feel the guilt gremlin hopping on my back.
"I'm so sorry, I completely forgot-"
Suddenly Richard slams his fist right in front of me.
"How dare you! We have a motto in this department. We must be sensational, inspirational, celebrational and most importantly muppetational. I feel you do not fit in with our agenda." He shouts aggressively, now standing over me with a red face.
This is pathetic, I refuse to be spoke to like this!
"Sir! I am a really hardworking girl! I spend most of my time here, I work my butt off for basically no money, I've made cakes on almost every Great British Baking Show day, I was everyone's secret Santa last year and I listened to you drone on about how you thought Bert and Ernie were the most inspirational gay couple to exist in American media. I think sir you will find I most definitely am muppetational!" I really did not expect to ever say that in my life. But I feel good. I can feel a smirk on my face. This is who I am. A strong, confident, independent wom-
"You're fired."
...
Well. That's not what I wanted to hear.
I looked down, attempting to do my Disney face.
"But why?"
As I look back at Richard, I can see clearly that he looks completely betrayed.
"I told you those things in confidence and you just threw them back in my face. I don't value your trust anymore. Now leave my sight."
Well, goodbye good friends goodbye.
I don't know why I'm so upset, I mean I was expecting it. Besides I did kind of hate it. Plus that guy is an idiot, it's not the 17th, it's the 18th. My calendar proves it. Gosh, I thought I was losing my marbles. Atleast it's nearly my birthday! And I get to spend it in my lovely empty apartment. Yay.
Maybe someone has sent me a birthday message...or maybe not but it's fine they probably haven't checked Facebook. Wow everyone's doing so good these days. Ahbed's got a new episode of CSI: Miami that he directed coming out soon. Shirley is regularly selling on Shopping channels. Britta is actually a certified psychologist (I know who would've thought right?)Troy finally came back from his travels and he's now enjoying his millions (thought he doesn't talk about what happened, he was very traumatised but he's cool now.) And Jeff...Erm well I assume he's okay. Considering he never updates his Facebook profile. Which is strange for him as he loves uploading selfies. I always like them...
It's a shame. I always thought we'd stay together, atleast virtually. It seems as time grew on we've just broke apart. We're all still friends sure but...everybody has moved on.
Oh! I got a notification!
...Chang wants me to play bubble blaster.
Why do I have this stupid profile? It's not like anyone cares anyway.
Well I mean there is someone that cares. Atleast maybe he does.
I'll check with him.
The phone dials and I brace myself to pretending to be happy.
"Hello darling!" I hear Jude on the other line. He's a British guy I met when he came for a conference, really sweet, sexy and you know says it's only work friends with benefits situation but still, it means I have some emotional connection with somebody.
"Hey, Erm so I was wondering what your plans are for tonight or tomorrow? Cus I was thinking we could-"
"Oh I'd love to honey, really in the mood for a shag right about now but unfortunately I've had to travel to Beijing."
"Oh. You didn't tell me about it..."
"I know it's tragic but you know a mans gotta do what a mans gotta-stop it Veronica, you cheeky slut! Listen, I'll talk to you later my American beauty but I've gotta dash, the weasel's about to pop! Ta-ta!"
Before I can reply, the end dial rings through my ear. Ugh, why did I think that would be a good idea? Doesn't matter I don't wanna spend my birthday with some Austin Powers wannabe anyway. I'll just spend it by myself. Alone...
11:59. My phone reads. Better prepare to sing happy birthday.
I grab a cupcake I bought on my way home, ironically it's a Cookie Monster cupcake. Placing a candle, I light it up, it's flame shining brightly.
Time to make a wish. I close my eyes and breath deeply. I always struggle with my wishes, on the one hand it's the only day you can be selfish. On the other hand, you're a complete jerk if you don't wish for something charitable. Still at this moment in time I know exactly what I want.
I wish...
KNOCK KNOCK
Darn. It must be my landlord, I forgot I owe him for the ceiling (long story involving a pineapple but lets not mention it again). Blowing out the candle, I rush to the door and open it widely.
"Resh, I'm so sorry for-"
My heart stops. I can feel my eyes widen. There in front of me with his creased shirt and messy stubble. A blue ballon in one hand and a gift bag in his other. He's eyes beautiful as ever...I mean, his smile as cute as ever...I mean...
What the heck is he doing here!?
Jeff beams at me.
"Happy birthday kiddo."
A/N: So...Hi. It's been a while and I know some that follow me will hate me for starting another story and not continuing my other story, whereas some of you probably will find me through this story so...Hello to everyone! So, yes. This is a new story, very different to my other fanfic (which not gonna lie, I am kinda embarrassed off hahaha). However, I hope to bring something new with a different writing style and something a lot more adult which brings in more adult themed things (considering am I no longer a 13-16 year old but a mature 21 year old). As for my other stories, I will try my best to continue them but they need some planning ahaha. Anyway sorry for boring you guys! I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter, I am really trying to get back into writing fanfic :) So please leave your reviews, and also if you feel this chapter was too short lemme know :) I will try to write a longer chapter next time! Peace, Chazzie-Chan.