A/N Who said he wasn't that important?
"Alright, the first meeting of the newly founded Organization Thirteen shall now take place! I ask that all participating nobodies claim their significant weapon and their power! Except for Roxas and Xion." Saix bellowed.
"What!"
"Roxas, there's no point. We are only part of Sora. We can't do anythin-"
"Who the hell is Sora!"
All thirteen nobodies and a failed experiment were gathered at a rectangular table. Originally, it was
Vexen's lab desk and Luxord's playing table, but Xemnas said something about budget cuts. Now, numbers two to eight were on one side, nine to fourteen on another. Xemnas, the boss of the group, sat at one end of the substitute long table. He coughed, and soon all eyes in the room were on him.
"Welcome to all of you. Starting today, we will be family. However, since this organization is oriented towards our selfish desires for hearts, I suggest that we take up arms and choose some suitable weapons. Now, all you need to do is say what weapon you want, and what element you wish to control. Any questions?"
Demyx raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"What's a question?"
"You don't know what a question is?"
"Yeah. What is it?"
"You're using it right now."
"No...I'm talking to you."
"No, I mean, what sort of statement you're utilizing."
"What?"
Saix leaned in.
"Do not worry about that one. He has a few screws loose...if not all."
"I see...anyways, who would like to go first?"
"Wind!" Xaldin proclaimed, his arms folded and his eyes gleaming.
"Dibs on fire! BURN, BABY!"
"No way! I call fire!"
"Ice shall be mine."
"BURN, BABY!"
"I'll have the moon."
"The moon! Is that even possible!"
"Anything's possible with that queer."
"What'd you say!"
"BURN, BABY!"
"Roxas, make your boyfriend shut up!"
"What! He's not my boyfriend!"
"Yeah! He's the man in this relationship!"
Roxas summoned his keyblade, glaring daggers at the pyromaniac.
"ENOUGH!" Xemnas roared. The nobodies all jumped in unison and immediately closed their mouths.
"Let's do this in a civilised way. We'll all write a number between one and twenty. Whoever gets the number closest to what I'm guessing gets to go first, and so on. Understood?"
"Yes, Lord Xemnas..." The nobodies grumbled like peeved students to a strict principal.
After five minutes of writing and collecting, all the slips of paper were accounted for and put in a box. Xemnas reached into the box, digging out the slips of paper one by one. He unfolded all of them carefully, placing them neatly on the table, away from curious and prying eyes. At last, he had finished reading all the slips of paper. With an air of importance, Xemans spoke.
"Luxord. You will go first."
"Ah. Very well then."
"He better not pick fire...BURN, BABY!"
Unable to endure any longer, Roxas whipped out Oathkeeper and cast firage on him. Much to his horror, Axel reacted in a very gleeful manner.
"FIREBALLS, YUM!" (I had to do that...)
"So, Luxord, your element?"
"Mm, tough decision, but I'll have to go with time."
The members 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at his choice. Xemnas nodded in approval.
"That's an excellent element to pick. You could have the upper hand in any situation!"
"Yea dude, great one! Even I didn't think of that!"
"Demyx, you don't think. At all." Marluxia said.
Larxene cackled while the flowery pretty-boy smirked.
"I expect great things out of you, Number Ten. With your intelligence and genius in combat strategy, I know you'll be one of our finest members."
Everybody whistled, clapped, and cheered. Shouts like 'You rule, dude!' and 'Brits are the best, mate!' Luxord smiled politely and bowed his head in response, inciting more applause. Saix leaned towards Xemnas and whispered, "Looks like we have a good one."
"Indeed. I intend for him to be one of our leaders during the Kingdom Hearts Two stuff."
"The what?"
"Nothing."
Luxord looked towards the superior's way, and said humbly.
"It is my honor to serve you for the sake of nobodies all around the world."
"Very good. Now, your weapon?"
I bet he's gonna choose a sick-ass weapon that nobody has ever heard of! (no pun intended). What could it be?
"I think I'll go with.."
Everyone leaned in.
"The most overlooked weapon..."
They leaned closer.
"Small and portable, but deadly and sinister to the end..."
Demyx stretched his neck as far as he could.
"And that is..."
"Oh , for the love of God already, spit it out, man!" Vexen shrieked.
"CARDS!"
"..."
It was quiet you could have heard a pin drop, not that you would want to be there at the moment.
"...What?"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Xigbar exclaimed.
"EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!" Larxene cackled.
"...ha!" Lexaeus whispered, much to everyone's shock.
"Oh, Luxord, you sure are British! Only you could pull off this kind of humour!" Xemnas chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I'm quite serious here."
"Oh, you are such a clown!"
"No, really."
"Alright, that's enough."
"Lord Xemnas. This is not a joke." Luxord said, emphasizing each syllable.
"Luxord...you do know what you're saying, right?" Zexion asked with a bit of nervousness in his voice.
"I am perfectly aware. Cards are, after all, an ancient discovery. Therefore, they are to be revered and respected!"
Xaldin snorted. "Oh? What will you do? Paper cut them to death?" The nobodies sniggered.
"How dare you! I will do no such thing!"
"Oh good, then Zexion might take your job. After all, he uses books, and at least they do more damage than some flimsy pieces of cardboard paper!" Xaldin retorted.
The others nodded at each other. There were murmurs like 'quite true' and 'well, they are hardcover' filled the room.
"For YOUR information, I believe that there will be a time when CARDS will be feared! Books being the superior weapon is nothing but your opinion, so you can all bet on the fact that my cards will knock the teeth off of any bloody opponent, do I make myself clear! And once you realize that, you gits will BOW before my FOLDING, SHUFFLING, SCATTERING, AND DEALING ABILITIES!" Luxord finished, banging his fists on the table.
"...So, Lord Xemnas?"
The man only nodded.
AND SO, IN KINGDOM HEARTS 2...
"Wait, you're Luxord?" Sora asked, dumbfounded. The two were on the castle in the World that Never Was. Apparently, his shock at Luxord's appearance
"Yes. I have captured your friends so we can play my game."
"Dude, where the hell were you the entire game!"
"...Don't ask. Let's begin!" With a flourish, Luxord brought out his magical cards.
"Pfft..."
"Hm?"
"PfftHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Luxord sighed. "Fine. I can wait. I'm the controller of time, after all. I have the patience of a stone wall!"
Ten hours later...
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"...Okay, you know what, you little wanker! Screw it! I'm just going to paper cut you to death!"
And the rest is history.
A/N He's just misunderstood.
Btw, I feel like I'm not even trying anymore. I'm sorry. But, I have a reason! You see, this was actually request by one of my friends. He's a bit loose in the head, and likes randomness...so yeah. This was written as it is. No editing, nothing.