I was bad. I told myself I would avoid spoilers for The Boy With the Answer, but I didn't. I watched the three sneak peeks that are currently available for the episode. This one-shot came from the final sneak peek. So, if you are trying to remain spoiler free for this episode, I wouldn't read any further.
All in all… this is just a short piece… something that came to mind after I saw that final sneak peek. I would like to believe that it's realistic… but it probably won't be and the moment that happens in this piece will probably not happen in this episode. But a girl can dream, can't she?
So take this for what it is… a dream about an episode that has the potential to be so much… and serve as a reminder that I don't own Bones.
And Then You
How my dreams they spin me 'round.
How my dreams they let me down.
And how my thoughts they spin me 'round.
How my thoughts they let me down.
Then there's you, then there's you,
And then there's you.
- Greg Laswell
Blood.
Water.
Sand.
They were dying. She was dying. And she could do nothing.
She pressed on Hodgins' wound, trying to stop the bleeding, but the blood continued to poor from the wound until it coated her entire body.
She reached for Booth's hand, trying to save him from the water, but he sunk underneath, disappearing from sight.
And then the sand seeped into the car, suffocating her, burying her alive.
It was always the same. Ever since the Gravedigger trial had began. She cycled through those three dreams nightly. Through the blood. Through the water. Through the sand. And each time she awakened drenched in sweat. She awakened with the illogical feeling of fear in every limb of her body. She awakened with her heart needing Booth, with her hand reaching for her cell phone to call him. But her brain and the logic that she had lived by for so long stopped her. The fact that he was dating Catherine stopped her. She could not rely on him for this; for the comfort that she required. She had turned him down, and now she had to live with that decision. Booth needed to move on. And she needed to let him.
XXXXXX
She had not expected him to show up on her doorstep tonight. It was late and it had been weeks since they had been together in either one of their homes. But he was here, reminding her of what partners did for each other. Partners. That's all they were now. She had silenced what could have been. Her fear over losing him, over not being adequate enough for him, had destroyed them. She had ruined everything. And yet, he was here. He was making sure that she would not go through this alone. He was reassuring her that they would find the evidence they needed to convict Taffet. That this was what partners did for each other. And as he offered words of unwavering support, as he tried to rally behind her, she began to fold. The blood. The water. The sand. They raced through her mind like a bullet and with a bang she realized that she had doubt. She had fears that she could not do this. That Taffet had not misjudged her. That she would fail and Taffet would go free. She turned away from him, her heart and mind colliding. And she confessed that which she had been trying so desperately to hold in.
"I have nightmares, Booth."
She faced him as the words rolled off of her tongue. Her gaze met his. She knew it was wrong. She knew that she should not be depending on him for this type of support, but when she saw his eyes, when she saw the concern, the love, and her mind stopped. It stopped fighting, and her heart surged ahead.
"Hodgins is bleeding." She met his gaze before she looked downwards. "You're drowning." She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I can't help anyone."
As the last words slipped off of her tongue, she met his stare again, and he began to move towards her.
"Look, alright, you know what? She's not going to get the better of you, alright?" Booth said as he continued walk towards her. "She's not."
She watched him as he moved, waiting, needing to feel his arms around her.
When he finally stood in front of her, he reached for her instantly, pulling her towards him. "Alright? I promise." His arms wrapped around her fatigued body, holding her close. "Okay?"
She brought her arms around him, her head immediately finding his shoulder. Her eyes drifted shut as she listened to him breathe. He was not drowning. There was no water around them. They were safe. Her fingers tightened around the fabric of his suit jacket, not wanting to release him. She had needed this. Needed him. She knew it was selfish. Selfish because she had broken his heart and was now needing affection from him that he probably did not want to give, but she could not help it. Her heart wanted him. And like Booth had told her before, sometimes logic did not matter. Sometimes the heart won.
She pressed her face into Booth's chest, breathing him in. Her eyes drifted shut. Her mind became lost in the comfort that she found in Booth's warm embrace. The blood, the water, the sand, it all faded away into the darkness, leaving her alone with Booth.
Booth's hands rubbed her back. The soft pressing of his fingers into the skin of her back soothed her tense muscles. A quiet moan escaped from her lips before she could stop it. Embarrassment flooded her and she began to pull away, but Booth did not let go. His arms remained firmly around her, holding her against him.
"Bones…"
She raised her arms, the palms of her hands pressing against his chest, protesting Booth's firm grip. "Booth."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered, his breath brushing against the strands of her brown hair.
She straightened her back. "Tell you what?"
Booth released one of her arms, allowing his hand to trail up the side of her body until it cradled her cheek in its palm. "About the nightmares."
"Booth." She sighed. With two firm hands she pushed away from him. His hands glided across her body as she turned away, shielding herself from his intruding gaze. "We shouldn't do this. You have Catherine now and I… I have…"
"Hacker?" Booth huffed.
"Yes," she said stubbornly. "Hacker. You asked me… you told me that you needed to move on. I'm trying to let you."
"That doesn't mean that you stop talking to me."
"I can't, Booth. Not about this."
With one hand, Booth reached out, the palm of his hand landing on her left shoulder. He pulled on her body, turning her back towards him. "Why?"
"I can't make you happy, Booth." She kept her chin tucked against her chest, unwilling to let Booth see the tears that had pooled in her eyes. "Not in the way that you want to be."
"Stop." Booth snapped. "When have I ever not been there for you?" He moved his hand from her shoulder and placed two fingers under her chin, guiding her face upwards until their eyes met. "When have I ever… let you down?"
"You haven't, Booth," she breathed. "But I... I've let you down. I can't give you what you want, Booth. I'm not capable of – "
"That's bullshit," Booth interrupted. His hands moved to either side of her cheeks, cupping them gently in the palms of his hands. "All I ever needed from all of this was you."
She closed her eyes. Tears dripped from the corners of her eyes. "Don't say that, Booth. You can't. You have Catherine. You should try and make that work."
"She isn't you," Booth admitted. His fingers moved along the skin of her cheeks, brushing away the tears that continued to drip from her closed eyes. "Look at me, Temperance."
He waited for her to open her eyes. He waited for her to look at him, to show him that she understood what he was saying. And when she didn't, he took a step closer and said again, "Look at me, Temperance."
"Booth," she said as she opened her eyes. "We talked about this. We decided that this was the way it was going to be. I can't do this to you. I can't be the one to ruin – "
Booth shook his head. "You aren't. You aren't ruining anything. I thought I could do this. I thought I could move on. I thought I could date another woman and have it be the same. But I can't." The pad of his thumb brushed her lower lip. "I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about how it felt to kiss you again. I can't… pretend like another woman can replace you." He leaned forward, placing his forehead against hers. "You are irreplaceable, Temperance."
"I'm all logic, Booth," she frowned. "I don't share the same beliefs as you. I don't… I don't believe in love. You can't be with someone like me. You can't – "
"Why don't you let me decide who I should be with?"
"Booth…"
"I ended it with Catherine."
"What?" She breathed.
"It wasn't going to work," Booth confessed.
"How can you know that?"
"I know."
"But Booth – "
"She wasn't you, Bones," Booth admitted. His hands fell from her cheeks and trailed down the length of her arms until they found her hands.
"Booth…"
"I'm not asking you again, Bones. I'm not asking you to… do something you aren't ready to do," Booth said. He squeezed her hands tightly in his own. "But I am asking you to trust me. I'm asking you to confide in me. To rely on me."
She took a step forward, her body brushing against his as she let her forehead find his chest. "Taffet has to be convicted, Booth. We have to do this."
Booth wrapped his arms around her trembling form, pulling her tightly against him. "We will, Bones. You can do this."
She moved her head off of his chest, her eyes catching his. "Not without you. I can't do it without you."
"You have me," Booth smiled.
She pulled away from him then, moving back towards the counter on which the file for the boy rested. She thumbed through the photos of the latest gravesite. She thumbed through the paperwork. The blood. The water. The sand. It all came tumbling back through her mind. Her body stiffened and her eyes closed. Her breathing became labored as she struggled with the images of her nightmares that were flooding her brain.
Booth watched as she struggled to control herself. He watched as her body flinched as she thumbed through the photos of the file. He reached for her as she began to tremble, placing his hand on her shoulder once more. "Are you alright?"
She took a deep breath. Her hand dropped the photos and reached for his. She latched onto it, squeezing it tightly. "Will you do something for me?"
Booth placed his other hand on her shoulder, squeezing them gently. "Anything."
She turned to face him. Tears rimmed her eyes. "Stay."
Booth placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before he gathered her in his arms once more. "There's no place I'd rather be."
Who knows what will happen. The episode will be what it will be... but I had fun thinking about what could be. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading.