Summer Nights, October Blood, November Rain
The summer hit San Romero so suddenly everyone was caught off guard. Love was in the air, and the skies were as blue as Juliet's eyes. Rosalind and Josey were beating the heat inside, playing old Atari games—Gideon had firmly refused to allow so much as a gram of cocaine into the house. That hadn't prevented Josey from getting Rosalind high. What had followed was a ten minute long discussion of theoretical physics and the nature of the universe, the video of which became highly popular with Juliet and Swan if they needed a laugh. Josey later remixed the video into a funk song, and even Gideon had to admit it was catchy. Still, being her father, and thus naturally concerned, Gideon had to ask Rosalind why she was dating Josey.
"He makes me laugh. Besides, he's not so bad when you get to know him."
Attempts to remind her that their first meeting had involved kidnapping and attempted murder proved fruitless.
Young love is often difficult to understand.
Cordelia was sitting on the porch of the Starling beach house, drinking vodka on the rocks beside Lewis, who'd settled for bourbon. Both of them were just content to rest, and let the younger members of the family frolic about in the water. Cordelia was still a knockout at 30, but she felt a little old to be out splashing. Besides, with Lewis beside her, she didn't need to.
Juliet and Swan were having a good time. They were splashing together, laughing and smiling. Initially, Swan had insisted on wearing a shirt into the water, but Juliet convinced him to discard it, saying:
"Look, I've totally seen you naked. You don't look bad at all."
"Well, when you put it like that…"
Swan leaped on her, tackling her under the water and kissed her passionately.
As she sprung up from underneath the water, she grabbed Swan, laughing.
"Well, you did say The Little Mermaid was one of your favourite movies Juliet…."
Juliet laughed even harder and kissed Swan again.
"How did I go ten years without dating you?"
As the night fell, everyone dried off and went inside. Zed turned to Juliet.
"Alright, so I sent the old man on a snipe hunt. I can't believe I'm doing this for a stupid cooze like you, but the albums were decent payment. Go right ahead."
Juliet took Swan by the hand…and whispered in his ear.
"Tonight…I'm gonna make all your dreams come true."
Within moments, Swan was dragged into Juliet's summer bedroom. She locked the door as fast as she could.
"You ever done this before, Swan?"
"Uh…no? Dreamed about it a lot."
"Well…um, neither have I actually."
Juliet stood there blushing.
Swan stood there in disbelief.
"So wait, like…you've never actually…I would have thought maybe…"
Juliet sighed.
"No, Nick and I never went that far."
Swan just relaxed a bit. So she was just as nervous as he was.
He began to reconsider this evaluation when he found himself missing several pieces of clothing and lying flat on his back.
"Wait…" Juliet said. "I totally forgot protection…"
"It's alright…" said Swan. "I took a test with the doctors…I'm totally sterile."
Juliet felt herself cry a little.
"Like…you'll never be able to have a kid?"
"I think it's part of some punishment for what I did."
"Well, I'm sorry about that punishment…but I think you'll like mine…"
A few moments later, Juliet's seashell bikini was hanging off the doorknob, and she was standing over Swan, his hands tied with his swim trunks.
"Here goes nothing." Juliet said, grinning, and she straddled him.
She was the vision of a goddess. Swan wondered if Aphrodite and her ilk had been inspired by the mere sight of women like Juliet. He didn't think about that much longer. A wave of pleasure shocked him to his core.
Juliet was enjoying herself too. He was cold, certainly…but that opened up new dimensions of possibility. She found her heat met by a deep chill. Steam was rising. Every breath, every motion fueled by pure love and desire.
"Oh baby…don't stop." Swan begged.
She moved in faster, adoring his sheer hunger and desperation. She thought about how often he'd probably fantasized about this. Juliet could only hope this was glue for his broken heart.
Swan took in her perfect curves, her eyes bluer than the seaside skies…it was all perfection. He reached up, breaking free, and pulled her hair out of pigtails. She squealed with delight as her hair fell about her shoulders.
"Naughty boy. Time for your lesson."
Swan smiled as she traced along his chest with warm fingers.
"I can't wait. School me, Juliet…I'll be sure to pass…"
She took a lollipop from beside the bed, tore the wrapper off with her teeth and put it in his mouth.
Swan couldn't take much more. She was too perfect.
Then she spun the two of them around.
"Then again…maybe I could use some extra credit…give me a performance review."
He seized her and pulled her in, dropping the lollipop into her mouth with a kiss.
"T-thus w-with a k-kiss I d-d-d-die!" She screamed in bliss, falling back.
Swan finished, exhaling a sigh as a saxophone riff played outside from the local jazz festival.
"You were perfect."
"Mm…so were you, baby."
Just then, there was knocking.
Juliet and Swan panicked in unison.
"Hey. Congratulations, lamer. You finally made it."
It was Cordelia.
They breathed a sigh of relief as they went to get cleaned up.
A few months passed, and Halloween was fast approaching.
Swan was very excited. It was his favourite time of the year. Even Juliet was somewhat excited…
"So Swan, what's your favourite thing about Halloween?"
"Well, I can watch horror movies every day…but I think I like the costumes best…"
Juliet squealed in delight.
"Ooh…well, I'll have to find an extra special costume this year…"
Swan grinned at the thought.
"So, what's your favourite candy? Oh wait…never mind…I know…"
"Lollipops, duh!"
"Do you like those pumpkin flavoured ones?"
"Like, totally!"
Juliet remembered something.
"What was Halloween like for you back at school?"
Swan sighed.
"Juliet, you have a knack for picking the worst subjects, but I'll humour you."
He began telling her of all the horrible things people had done.
"When I was a vampire in the school haunted house, they nailed my coffin shut and threw me in the river."
Juliet looked horrified.
"Then the following year, they left a mangled body stolen from the science lab near me and stuck some bloody knives in my hands, and called the cops. I was fucking cavity searched, and had to repeat to their dead little pig minds what the fuck night of the year it was!"
She choked in response.
"Then finally, the Halloween before I snapped was the worst of all. They buried me alive, apologized, saying it was an accident, said they were going to buy me a drink and set me up with a girl, and then…well the drink was spiked, so I woke up, dressed in a fucking fairy costume, and they put some old woman's corpse on top of me, stolen from a funeral home. The cops tried to take me. I found the guys responsible and began clawing the shit out of them. They broke both my arms and left me unconscious. In case you were wondering where I was during the Thanksgiving Festival…yeah…I was busy watching my film collection to get pointers on how to make turkeys out of them…."
Juliet looked heartbroken.
"So…you never actually got to have fun, or party, or anything?"
Swan shook his head.
"No…mostly I went home, in tears, everyone laughing, and then I'd watch horror movies all alone. I kept wishing I had someone by my side…but then I remembered they'd probably just do something horrible to me."
Juliet got up and looked at Swan's night table.
"Hey wait, what's this?"
She found a dusty paperback, missing its cover.
"Oh, that? That's my copy of The Phantom of the Opera."
"This one part is really well-worn…"
She began to read.
"I am dying…of love…I loved her so…And I love her still…If you knew how beautiful she was…when she let me kiss her…It was the first…time…I ever kissed a woman…Yes, alive…I kissed her alive…"
Juliet turned to Swan, who was blushing.
"That was my favourite part." He confessed.
She read on further, Swan's face growing sadder.
"I have tasted all the happiness the world can offer!"
Juliet shut the book, looking at Swan's face.
Swan sat with his head in his hands.
"Poor baby," Juliet said, running her fingers through his hair.
"Was that how you felt at the reunion?" she asked.
"Yes…"
Juliet thought about this. She'd never really ever understood being lonely, because everyone had wanted to be her friend…and get under her skirt, but…
Swan? He couldn't even beg for friendship.
She grew disgusted.
"Ugh, why do people have to suck so much dick? They're like totally lame!"
Swan sighed, knowing he'd have to tell her at some point.
"Juliet, remember the summer? That night when we consummated our love?"
"Aw, you're so adorable when you use big words, Swan! You're like Owl from Winnie-the-Pooh!"
"Yes, I suppose, but seriously…when I told you I was sterile…I learned that thanks to a deal I made."
"A deal?"
"I had a choice at my trial. Either I would go to jail and be executed for my crimes, or I could become a government guinea pig."
"Eww…"
"They performed extensive tests on me…and one of the military men talked to me. His name was General Alexander Romanoff."
"Wait…like Anastasia Romanoff? Like the geeky gamer girl who went to school with us?"
"Her dad, yes. He chewed me out royally, calling me an abomination."
Juliet looked really upset.
"He said he'd make use of me though, despite getting his daughter killed. He said that he saw potential in my magically-empowered blood, and that he would create an anti-zombie task force composed of NBR: Neo-Biological Revenants. Super-powered zombie supersoldiers, loyal only to the government. He called it Project: Dark Harvest, and the deployment was to be called Operation: October Blood."
He paused.
"I haven't told you, but in the months since defeating Palliakos…I've been having more nightmares. Nightmares about zombies…something to do with the "Witch's Curse" on Derleth. A prophecy keeps repeating in the dream:
When the love of two is one
When dark union has begun
When hunter's moon is in the skies
In dark of night, the dead shall rise!"
Juliet shivered.
"B-baby? Why didn't you tell me you'd been having these nightmares?"
"I-I didn't want to worry you. I didn't want you to beat yourself up about it."
She pushed Swan on his back and gently kissed his forehead.
"Swan…if there's ever a problem, you can totally talk to me about it…we're in love! If you can't talk to me, who can you talk to? I'm the best person for it!"
Swan took her in his arms and kissed her back.
"Baby, I don't know how I would live without you."
Meanwhile, Cordelia and Lewis were sitting peacefully in a motel room.
"Ah…it's good to be back here, crashing." Lewis said.
Cordelia was thinking about something.
"What's wrong, dollface? Something troublin' ya? Is it emo boy? Cause Swan can be a handful, I know…"
Cordelia nodded.
"He's…troubled. I know it's been a decade since the whole zombie thing, but he's still troubled."
"Hard to blame him, doll, after all, that doesn't just heal up with apple pie and lollipops. He's damaged, girl, face it. Juliet dating him may be the first good thing to happen to him. And let's face it, it won't be easy. She's cocky. Brash. A little prone to getting in over her head."
"You knew him that well?"
"Darling, I could tell. I mean, I heard tons of his thoughts…he was lonely, angry, and scared. Zed called him, and I quote, "a real fucking head case" and that wasn't too far off. Swan's a sweet kid, normally. But seriously, you do that kind of shit to him like those fuckers did…and I'd be surprised if he didn't go off like a bomb."
Cordelia raised an eyebrow.
"I never did hear what happened to Swan to drive him to kill all those people…"
Lewis went on for a good five minutes explaining.
"Oh God…that's terrible…"
"Now you see why…truth be told, we Dark Purveyors all had our reasons too…come now, doll, you didn't think we became Dark Purveyors by chance?"
"I didn't really think about it."
"You didn't have much reason to. I used to be an up and coming rocker, but then I learned I had a malignant brain tumour, inoperable of course. My girl at the time was depending on me after her family disowned her. So I made a little deal with the Malicious Lords of Rotten World…and then the next day…my cancer was gone…but my girl was dead, murdered…and I was a zombie."
"Oh…sort of like…"
"Ghost Rider, I know. Everyone jokes about that in Rotten World, and it's not just cause of the bike."
Cordelia thought about this.
"So what happened with the other Purveyors?"
"Zed was an angry teenager who made a deal for the chance to beat up on everyone he hated…which meant literally everyone. Vikke was a forgotten Viking warrior who sought to be fit to live in Valhalla, and fight for glory eternally. Mariska was a poor hippie girl who made the mistake of being high in a cornfield as a combine was coming through…her last words were a prayer to not die before achieving peace. Josey? He just wanted to be high, game, and party all the time. Kind of lame, that last one."
Cordelia nodded, and wondered what her sister was doing for about the fiftieth time that day.
Meanwhile…
"Swan, are you certain this is a good idea?"
"Juliet, you've been down here before, you have nothing to worry about."
Juliet and Swan were once again in the Narrows.
"Yes, but this time I'm totally blonde-haired and all preppy!"
"You're with me. They won't hurt a hair on your head."
As if to dispute this, a gang of lowlifes came up ready to attack Juliet.
Swan fired a shot, neatly trimming their leader's Mohawk.
"God, I've wanted to do that to Zed for so long…" he mused as the gang fled.
They made their way to the familiar pentagram-covered door.
This time they were let in without any troubles.
Macbeth was waiting for them.
"Ah! Swan! Juliet! How might I be of aid? I sense an ill omen indeed…"
Swan replied.
"Uh…I've been having nightmares. About a prophecy. For some months now. I thought they were just nightmares, but I'd better check…"
Macbeth looked at him grimly.
"Does the prophecy speak of the rise of the living dead underneath a bloody moon?"
"Yeah, verily! Tell me what it doth mean!"
"Sarcasm will get you nowhere, Swan. This is bad."
"Bad?" Juliet asked. "Like, in what way?"
Macbeth fixed a cold look on them.
"Tell me truthfully. Have you yet consummated your love?"
Juliet sighed and nodded, as did Swan.
"Then…San Romero may be doomed. The prophecy…is being fulfilled."
"No! Just 'cause we had a little fun?"
"You heard the prophecy…your love is the spark of the apocalypse. Well, an apocalypse. It's not the end, really. I'm being overly dramatic. It'll just raise a zombie army. I have a feeling Juliet can handle it."
Swan sighed.
"Geez, old friend, dramatic…"
Macbeth laughed.
"Drama was my minor."
Swan laughed a bit.
"It's rare to see you laugh, old friend." Macbeth remarked.
Juliet and Swan's eyes met.
"I haven't had much reason to laugh…but she's changed my life so much…"
Macbeth smiled, his eyes sparkling under his hood.
"You know, my old apprentice, I had always hoped you two would be together. Too often had I seen that smile on her face and wished I could see even a fraction of that joy in you."
Unfortunately, later that night, no smile was to be found on Swan's face. Once again, he was having nightmares.
Swan found himself in the coffin again. He was choking, barely able to breathe, but then he remembered being a zombie, he didn't need to. He ripped his coffin open and stormed towards the high school to settle the score with the jocks that had put him there. When he got there though, everyone was dead. Entrails were hung like party streamers, and blood covered the floor like confetti. Then, someone offered him a drink. He sipped it and fell unconscious…only to awaken face to face with Juliet's severed head. The zombies were all around him now, and they handed it to him, and put a razor wire crown on his head, which slowly twisted into his skull. "All hail Lord Swan, who damned his world so we might live!"
He awoke screaming, only to find that Juliet was already beside him, very much alive, and beginning to hold him and cuddle him softly.
"Nightmare again, Swan?"
"Yes." Swan sighed. He soundly oddly younger, like a small child waking up from one of his first nightmares.
Juliet ran her hand over his shoulders. He was cold. Of course, Swan was always colder than most people. But this was an unearthly chill. This was fear. Fear of failure. Fear of death. Fear of loss.
He feared losing her the most.
Swan began to relate his nightmare to her, the feelings, the horrid sense of dread he experienced. When he had finished, she knocked him backward and kissed him.
"I'm going totally kiss all the nightmares out of you!"
What ensued was about ten minutes of making out.
It was fortunate Swan didn't have to breathe.
Elsewhere…
"General, the project is ready. The Dark Harvest has been gathered."
"Good. Have the NBRs prepared for Operation: October Blood."
"Excellent."
"And tell whoever's in charge of priming the project to be careful…let's see, that'd be…Dr. Schwarzgeist."
Cordelia sighed.
"It seems there's more than meets the eye with all of us, huh?"
"You'd be right on the money there, doll."
"First Swan, then you…then all of the DP…"
"We all have secrets, doll."
"So do I…after Nick left Juliet, she was so desperate she ended up dating a few bad eggs…including a deadly serial killer…she didn't know of course. I was told by the government to make it look like an accident...Juliet cried for days…and I couldn't tell her."
"You did what you could, doll. It's nothing to worry about…Besides, I'm sure Juliet's got stuff to hide too."
As if in answer, miles away…
Juliet and Swan were together at Swan's house, a driving rain having started again.
"Sure is raining a lot lately. Unusual for San Romero." Swan remarked.
Juliet nodded, searching for a bracelet she'd lost under his bed, when she brushed against a box with her fingertips. She pulled it out, showing it to Swan.
"Hey, hot stuff, what's this?"
Swan got a worried look on his face.
"Uh…you may not want to open that…"
"Then you know that means I gotta!"
She flipped open the latch on the bone-covered box, its onyx inlay gleaming darkly.
Inside were newspaper clippings, school photos, drawings, and little notes…all related to her.
"Swan…is this…a shrine to me?"
"Uh…I was young…and lonely…"
She took out some of the clippings and lay them out.
"That was a good game! That one was ok….I haven't seen that photo in like forever! Hang on, what's this?"
From the bottom of the box, she found a small ring, and pulled on it. The bottom came out, revealing a hidden compartment…full of little red paper hearts, each with Juliet's name on them, and tiny romantic messages. There were 12 In total.
"Swan…? Are these…valentines?"
"Yes…I meant to send them, but…after the other boys tore my card apart in kindergarten, I just kept them in a box…hoping one day, I'd have the guts to give them to you..."
"Swan…did you ever get any valentines?"
He started to cry. Black tears streamed down his face.
"None. Never any valentines. Not for me. I didn't matter. I was just the school freak, the whipping boy for everyone. Closest thing I got was a heart cookie like everyone else, but mine was broken in half. I never even got so much as a card acknowledging my existence. I got plenty of threats, taunts and insults. Those were my valentines. My greatest valentine was a reminder that I would never belong, and that I deserved the fear I provoked in others. I was told every moment of my life should be hell just for existing."
He choked on a breath.
"Every year, I was alone…utterly alone. Anastasia, even, kept far away from me. Because I wasn't human even in her eyes."
Juliet kissed him.
"This year, you're getting a valentine. And a whole lot more…"
He felt her gently lower him onto the bed, as she positioned herself over him.
*zip*
"You remember the old Tootsie Roll Pops, right Swan?"
"Oh, stop it…"
"I have a feeling it won't be hard getting to your centre…"
The pleasure damn near knocked him unconscious once she parted her lips and moved in.
The rain poured hard outside, and his body was stiff and wracked with pain.
Gently, she took away that pain. Her lips were always soft no matter what weather, and her experience with lollipops certainly paid off.
Swan was more exhausted than he thought, and he slipped off into a dream, where he was surrounded as usual by the bullies who had made his life hell.
Then Juliet came right up and kissed him, then made love with him on the spot.
The bullies shrank into nothingness. There they were in their old classroom…happy…contented…free…
Juliet finished him, and noticed he'd fallen asleep…
Taking care of the cleanup, she then put him in his bed and cuddled up beside him.
They had some Halloween events to rest up for, after all.
"Poor Swan…"she breathed.
Lewis and Cordelia had finished a night of their own…
Cordelia was in a grey tank top and camo panties, Lewis in a pair of boxers and a white undershirt. Her hair was ruffled up, and her lipstick was largely gone. Lewis's hair had lost its stiffness, and he lay back against the headboard beside her, each smoking a cigarette.
Cordelia blew smoke into the air.
"So, was it good for you?" Lewis asked.
She let out a soft moan.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"Mm…it was more than good, that was fucking fantastic!"
Lewis smirked, inordinately pleased with himself.
"I've never made it with an assassin before…you really know the way to a man's heart."
"Up through his stomach and ribs, I usually find. But a Barrett .50 cal takes out the guesswork."
The ceiling fan turned absurdly slowly above them.
"I thought this ceiling fan shit was only in B-movies, dollface."
"Apparently, these mean streets have it too…"
"Well, you are a tall, leggy blonde...dangerous too…."
"Oh, stop it, Lewis!" she laughed.
Cordelia had to admit, Lewis had completely swept her off her feet.
"You know, Lewis…I'm not really used to anything like this…but it's nice."
"I'm guessing your relationships tend to end with a bullet to the brain, either delivered by you or one of your rivals…"
"You'd be correct. Love was either short-lived, or a way of getting to my targets."
"Very James Bond, doll, if you don't mind me saying…"
"Oh jeez, yes. Like On Her Majesty's Secret Service."
Cordelia started laughing.
"Oh God…this is the most normal thing I've done in ages."
"I'm guessing gun for hire wasn't your first career choice?"
"I thought I wanted to be a surgeon."
"Both take a lot of precision and involve tons of blood."
Just then a group of mobsters kicked open the door.
"Alright, youse lovebirds. Times to die!"
Cordelia and Lewis exchanged a look before throwing their cigarettes up.
She reached down her thigh and pulled out a .45, Lewis reaching behind for his guitar.
The thugs had barely enough time to cock their weapons before the room was alight with gunfire .
Two hit the ground, .45 rounds drilled neatly through their heads.
Three more fell from Lewis' machinegun.
They caught their cigarettes as the last mobsters fell dead.
"And remember," Cordelia said, "that last one only counts as one!"
They lay back together again.
"God…that was hot." Lewis managed.
"Mmm…what a rush…"
Swan woke up to find Juliet beside him. She was beautiful, as always; her slender, perfect body nearly completely still, save for her calm, soft breathing. Swan watched her chest rise and fall, and he felt contented. Juliet was still something of an enigma to him. How did she carry on, in spite of how crushing everything could be? But then he remembered something, a half-faded memory from Rotten World, sometime before waking up in his living corpse of a body. She had been crying. He'd hurt her. He'd hurt her badly there. She'd stopped smiling. Juliet never stopped smiling. He had always seen her as more than human, as some kind of untouchable, unfeeling goddess who bestowed kindness onto her chosen few. And he'd always thought of himself as unworthy. So he'd styled himself into some kind of demon. The perfect opposition to her divinity: a modern Prometheus, to not only steal fire, but to snuff hers out. But as the flames died down, and he found himself exiled…he could only reflect on what he'd lost. He'd once done a report on the Salem Witch Trials, which had slowly derailed into mockery, and bitter venom spewed at his tormentors, which had quickly earned him a visit to the principal. He had identified with the witches. But…maybe Juliet had felt some of what he'd felt too—the same worries, even if she never was hurt the way he was.
His thoughts were interrupted by Juliet waking up, gently running her fingers through his hair, then kissing him.
"Morning, angel!"
Swan's body shivered as her lips, tasting faintly of strawberries, met his. She was perfect.
"You fell asleep partway through my little surprise, so I just took the liberty of finishing up and putting you to bed. I let you sleep, but I was by your side the whole time…"
Swan blushed a bit.
"I'm sorry, Juliet…you rocked my world, as usual…but ever since Palliakos…I've been feeling a bit weak."
"If that was you being weak back in the summer, then I have totally got to get on you when you're feeling strong…because, wow…"
He smiled uneasily.
"I get the feeling it isn't over. I mean, maybe it's just Halloween jitters and all. But like, Palliakos kept talking about dead dreams…like he was part of something bigger. And well, another thing's bothering me. Operation: October Blood. I have no idea what became of Project Dark Harvest, and it's got me worried. If those zombies rise up, I got the nasty feeling that General Romanoff is going to spring those undead Gears of War rejects on us."
"He totally wouldn't dare! There are like, protocols and that! Besides, you have no way of knowing if the experiment worked or not. So let's not worry. If we have to fight zombie Captain America, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
Elsewhere, Josey and Rosalind were sitting back eating candy and playing a Sega Master System.
*boom*
Rosalind's game car crashed into the wall and exploded. A blue screen flashed "Player 2" as Josey picked up his controller.
"DaaAAmn GiRl, you really know how to blow a scene…."
The pink-streaked girl cackled.
"I'm bad at driving in games too! But I like explosions…they're pretty."
Josey was doing considerably better, as his car blew through the eight-bit highway, machineguns blazing, and within moments, he'd turned his car into a jet and began shooting down enemy planes.
"YeEES! Who's your daddy? Time to get funky in the skies! Dig that chiptune!"
They continued to play for some time before Rosalind suddenly collapsed.
"Ugh, Mr. J…I don't feel so good…"
"BaABby?"
Josey got the phone and called Gideon.
"Hey GeeeEEE-man! Listen, cat. Your dAAaughter is feelin' low…No, I didn't give her any of the fUUun stuff! We've been playin' video games, eatin' sweets to get in the mood for HaAAlloWeeen!...Alright…OkAAy, hip cat, I can dig it. See you soon! Stay funky."
Predictably, Gideon showed up in about 5 minutes.
"Josey! Where is she?!"
"On the bed, cat. She ain't lookin good. She was originally on the floor, thought she'd be more comfortable up TheEERe."
Gideon sized up Rosalind.
"N-not f-f-fair…s-stupid clown! I h-hate you! I-I-I'm not a freak! Stop calling me that! Please…I DO TOO HAVE A BOYFRIEND! J-jerk! He's r-really big and strong and he'll eff you up s-s-so…No…please don't make me go back and see that! J-Josephine, no please! Back off! P-p-put the scissors down or I'll get Juliet, so help me…"
He looked over at a concerned Josey.
"She's hallucinating. Post-traumatic stress disorder. It seems Palliakos had an unfortunate influence on her…oh geez, she's remembering that day…I couldn't stop her crying all day."
He walked over and whispered into her ear.
"Listen, you cheap slut cheerleader, there's a reason my middle daughter's leadin' the team, and you're doing porno. So put down the scissors, and haul your ass away from my daughter. Same goes for you, you cheap ass clown. Don't make me go into her memory and kick your ass from beyond the grave."
Rosalind relaxed.
Josey breathed an auto-tuned sigh of relief.
"Listen, Josey," Gideon began, "you're the only boy who's ever stuck around for her. If I ever hear you've broken her heart, I won't stop until you're six feet under, got it?"
The zombie funk master nodded his head as Gideon put a blanket over the sleeping Rosalind.
It is a fairly common fact that most American towns are inevitably not far from amusement parks, and San Romero was no exception. The amusement park nearest to San Romero was a fairly old one known as Argento Gardens, which had a reputation for providing both excellent thrill rides and even better Halloween events.
Unfortunately, said amusement park happened to be not very far from Derleth. Normally this wouldn't be an issue. However, it just so happened that the night that Juliet and Swan decided to attend its Halloween event, there was a blood red moon in the sky…and the ritual decided to stay its course.
A horde of the living dead began to rise.
General Romanoff grinned as his sensors detected the uprising.
"Deploy the weapon."
Lewis and Cordelia were the first to notice it, and tried desperately to gun down some of the approaching undead horde…unfortunately, two against hundreds of zombies is not a winning proposition.
It was then that Operation: October Blood began.
Ordinarily, having a bunch of zombie-hating supersoldiers wouldn't be a bad thing.
But this was Halloween…the park was full of zombie actors…and there'd been a slight oversight.
The soldiers had been shown what zombies looked like…but not given the ability to detect pulse.
There was a lot of screaming.
Not because of the attractions…but because 7 soldiers, armed to the teeth, were mindlessly emptying lead into a human wall.
Swan realized what had begun, and urged Juliet into action.
"Baby, it's time. Time to face my past…again."
Juliet sighed, and grabbed her chainsaw.
"Alright, honey…"
In Swan's car they sped off towards their destiny.
General Romanoff looked on in horror.
"Project: Dark Harvest is malfunctioning! Those are civilian targets! Shut it down immediately!"
A set of red eyes glowed in the darkness.
"I'm sorry, General, I'm afraid I can't do that…"
In horror, the General turned around and found Dr. Schwarzgeist holding a machine pistol in one hand and a thumb switch in the other.
"Doctor, stand down! That is an order!"
The doctor just laughed.
"I don't think so…you're not standing in the way of my revenge…"
"Revenge? For what?"
"You idiot…I am the same Dr. Schwarzgeist executed all those years ago…did you really think you "fixed" me? Far from it. My mind is the same as it was the day I died…I am driven by one purpose…to purge this rotten world of sin…and I have the means to do it…"
"You're bluffing!"
"Am I? Check your quiver, General…it's empty. Activating Weapons Satellite Omega, Codename: November Rain."
He pressed the thumb switch.
The General choked in horror.
"November Rain?! B-but that's nuclear Armageddon! You wouldn't dare!"
"Too late. Already did. In just 1 hour, this state will no longer exist."
The General sighed.
"Well, if that's how it is…God bless America, motherfucker!"
Romanoff punched Schwarzgeist in the face, and took his machine pistol, blowing him apart.
"Nobody messes with the U.S. of A. Not on my watch."
By the time the two lovers had arrived, Cordelia and Lewis were just barely holding back the tide.
"About time you showed up." Lewis growled, blowing apart a zombie's head.
The legions of the dead soon proved to be little resistance for the lovers.
Then the soldiers of Dark Harvest approached…
Juliet downed one and cut its head off, and Swan blew another apart.
Just then, a military helicopter appeared and blew the remaining super zombies apart.
"Hop in!" called a voice.
A ladder lowered and the team clambered aboard.
Inside was General Romanoff.
"Well, well, well. Swan. We meet again."
Swan could see the hurt in the man's eyes, and gave the apology he'd meant to for a decade.
"General, I'm sorry about your daughter. Every night, I see the faces of the dead staring back at me with their cold eyes. The blood of hundreds is on my hands, and they will never be clean, even if my soul is absolved. I was once a petty, vengeful man...For the love of your daughter...do not be the same way."
General Romanoff let a small smile come over his lips.
"Son, I'm glad to see you've come around…but it's a bit late for me. My project backfired, as you can see…and my project director, Dr. Schwarzgeist just doomed us all. He activated the nuclear satellite November Rain. In just 30 minutes, it will activate, launching enough nukes to wipe California off the map."
"That totally sucks dick! How do we stop him?" Juliet asked.
"We need to go back to the base and destroy the primary computer. I would have done it myself, but I couldn't do it without your help. I have a bad feeling about this…"
With 10 minutes to spare, they made it to the base.
"And here's the computer we need to—oh no."
The computer and the remains of Dr. Schwarzgeist had merged.
"AH-HA_HA_HA HA. DID_YOU THINK YOU COU_LD STOP ME? "
"Schwarzgeist, you bastard! Don't you know what you're doing?!" Swan exclaimed.
"OF COURSE. I AM P_UR_GING THE SINS OF TH_IS ROTTEN WORLD."
Lewis sighed.
"Oh, terrific. A fucking visionary. Here's a hint—you're committing genocide. Ain't anything terribly holy about that."
"NO I AM A SAVIOUR _THIS_IS NOT P_OSSI_BLE!"
"I'm all for freedom of religion, but you suck more than Jonestown! Like totally, I'm not drinking your Kool-Aid!"
"HERETICS INFIDELS BETRAYERS"
Cordelia spat.
"I'm sorry, hun, was that meant to describe you?"
Swan glared at it.
"Your wife died for nothing, all because of you! You killed my ancestor, just because you thought she was different! All you are is a hypocrite!" he screamed at it.
"I..AM WRONG…HERE…IS THE DEACTIVATION CODE/ dontleavemealoneinthecoldnov emberrain"
Swan raised an eyebrow.
"Guns N' Roses lyrics? Ok…"
He took Juliet in his arms, and then clicked on the voice activated password system.
"Don't leave me alone in the cold November rain."
They kissed…just as an alert siren went off.
"Schwarzgeist?"
The computer fizzled out and melted, a ghost floating off into nothingness.
"Oh terrific, one of the nukes launched!" Cordelia exclaimed.
The light of the siren suddenly turned green, and then stopped.
"Huh?"
"HEEYYy dOn't WORRY everybody! I Got this!"
Swan burst out laughing.
Josey had flown his flying saucer up and vaporized the nuke in the atmosphere.
"Let's just go home." Juliet said, sighing.
It ended, as many nights did, with everyone sitting around in the living room, too exhausted to do anything…but then Juliet stepped out for a minute, as did Cordelia and Rosalind.
While the boys were waiting, they discussed the night's events.
"So, Schwarzgeist…guess he finally realized vengeance wasn't so groovy, huh?" Lewis asked.
"mAn rEVenNNNge is lAAaame."
"I suppose he really just learned a lesson that I too took a long time learning. I mean, there are still nights where I wake up from seeing the dead staring at me in my dreams…I hope that one day…they'll forgive me for what I've done. Seeing General Romanoff willing to forgive…nearly made my night."
"Well, if that didn't make your night, this totally will!"
Juliet, Cordelia and Rosalind all walked back in in their Halloween costumes. Juliet was dressed as Harley Quinn, Cordelia as Android 18, and Rosalind as Delirium.
There was a stunned silence that roughly equated to "holy shit."
Then, as if the night couldn't get any better…each of them reached into their costumes and pulled out a tiny box, and flipped it open.
"Will you be my fiancé?" they said in unison to their respective boyfriends.
The answer was a resounding yes.
No one was left alone in the cold November rain.
Not even Schwarzgeist, who found that his dead wife was more than willing to take him back.