Bleed for me - Part One
Note: This story picks up right after the season 4 final. Hope you enjoy it!
No.. This couldn't be happening.. This wasn't supposed to happen!
After all the battles they had overcome, they were both about to have their happy ending. Things finally seemed to be working out. The road ahead would be filled with obstacles, but for the first time Regina believed that faith was at her side. She found the one thing that had been missing in her heart for so many years. Hope..
Maybe she finally earned some forgiveness for the awful things she'd done in her past. Things she couldn't possibly undo, but made it her purpose to redeem herself. At first for Henry, but somewhere along the way she wanted to do right by others. And finally even for her own peace of mind. She couldn't deny the fact that she slowly changed into the best possible version of herself.
After all of their struggles and challenges things finally seemed to fall in place for her and Robin, her long lost soulmate. Between Emma and Hook. Between her and Emma. It had shocked her as much as it terrified her how important her connection with the Savior became to her. Seemingly growing inside her with each passing day.
No matter how hard she tried to fight it, Emma had always been the one who understood her the most. How they were able to share entire conversations without a single word being exchanged, just by looking into each other's eyes. It scared her how easily she could read the blonde and how easily Emma was able to read her in return. The mask she so carefully and successfully used throughout the years seemed to vanish in her presence.
No matter how hard they were both trying to push each other away, they pulled twice as hard to keep each other close. The unexpected bond between them that flourished into something unique over the years, or to use Emma's word, special. The undeniable dynamic she couldn't quite label.
She never imagined to find herself protecting the Savior. Snow White and Charming's daughter for Christ sake! The woman who broke her curse, who threatened to take Henry away from her. But none of those things seemed to matter, not anymore. It was just Emma now, her friend. Despite her previous disdain for the woman's mother, she felt drawn towards the Savior.
She still wasn't completely sure why she felt the deep urge to keep her away from the darkness, to keep her safe. She always assumed it had to do with the fact that she was Henry's birth mother. She would never have him in her life if it wasn't for Emma. And some cruel twist of faith. But somewhere down the line that didn't seem to be the only reason anymore. Or maybe it never was the only reason.
But no matter how unsettling the depth of her feelings seemed to reach, and although her first instinct had been to keep her distance, she tried everything within her power to keep Emma away from the pain that had once consumed her. She just couldn't bear the thought of losing her to the darkness, knowing first handed how hard it was to find one's way back towards the light again. She became so fiercely protective over the blonde that she didn't dare to reflect what that even meant.
She witnessed the battles and challenges the blonde sheriff had fought inside her mind. How the darkness tried to get ahold of her, to overpower the light that slowly dimmed inside of the Savior. The light that Regina had missed so terribly in her emerald orbs for the past weeks, replaced with a numbness that terrified her even more than she'd ever dare to say out loud. She even put her own safety at risk and didn't even second guess the possible outcome.
She needed to do this for Emma. For Henry. And maybe even for herself, desperately seeking for redemption. Not allowing the Savior to make the same mistakes that she herself once made. Consumed in a rage that wasn't even hers. Compelled by the Dark One that now contained within the blonde.
She had seen the anxiety in the blonde's eyes when she found out about her secret mission, mirroring her own fears. What if I lose her to the darkness? But somehow it felt like her battle to fight and not Emma's. She didn't need to be the Savior, not this time. She just needed to be safe. But she should have known that her stubbornness would reach the surface eventually.
Ooh God, Emma.. What did you do? Why couldn't you just stay away? It should have been me! Please just- Just come back…
A deep sob wrecked through her body while she stared at the dagger, shining brightly in the moonlight. A light that shouldn't be contained within that hideous thing. A light that belonged to Emma. The fierceness and intriguing woman who's eyes were locked with hers only minutes ago, filled with unshed tears. Filled with a sparkle that she hadn't witnessed before and feared would never see again.
Her magic boiled dangerously under her skin while Emma's words kept echoing inside her mind, the desperation in her voice. The determination in her voice, as if it didn't even cross her mind to keep her distance. As if she wasn't aware that her loved ones were surrounding her, her eyes solely trained on the brunette. As if she didn't even consider her own happiness over the brunette's. As if she wasn't about sacrifice her own future so the Evil Queen could have hers.
Regina closed her eyes and could feel the unbearable pain quite literally inside her chest, Emma's voice still lingering inside her head.
"Actions speak louder than words.."
The words she spoke when the blonde tried to convince her to find her happy ending with Robin, to stop his wedding. The support and understanding she found in her eyes when she said "You've got this, Regina.."
There was something calming in Emma's voice that she never established before, until now. The strength the blonde always seemed to give her, challenging her to seek the best inside herself. The strength that she completely lost when the darkness surrounded her a few minutes ago, swirling around her, trying to drain the light from deep within her. The light that she worked so hard for to find and finally possessed, only to have it ripped away from her once again. Back to the darkness, the story of her life.
The light she so desperately had tried to focus on during those long moments in its heavy grip. Overwhelmed when realization dawned on her that it had been Emma she was looking for in that very moment.
How she nearly lost it when that same woman moved towards her, instantly aware of her intentions, her tight grip around the dagger. How the blonde stopped in her tracks when a heartbreaking "NO" released from deep within her. Their eyes locking intensely, desperately.
She could still hear her own pleading attempt to keep Emma away and startled even herself with the desperation in her voice when she begged her that there had to be another way.
"There isn't.."
"You've worked too hard to have your happiness destroyed!"
Completely crushed when she recalled her own words directed at the same woman's parents, many years ago. "I shall destroy your happiness, if it is the last thing I do.."
How did they get to this point? What had she done to deserve the exact opposite of the words she could never take back? The words that would haunt her for the rest of her life? And most of all the words that the Savior directed at her, the sincerity so clearly visible in her eyes.
Although she could feel the power and light inside her vanish in that moment, Emma's voice released an entirely new wave of energy inside her chest. She never witnessed such an intensity in her green orbs, almost feeling her emotions radiating off of her. Suddenly aware that some intimacies went so much deeper than the physical ones.
She heard how Killian begged her to stay and also didn't miss the words that escaped past the blonde's lips. "I love you.." Her entirely truthful words, practically feeling the weight of them, understanding perfectly how hard it had been for Emma to open up like that. And now it was all too late.. Because of her.
She silently surrendered herself for the worst, this had to be it. Her time had come, right at the moment her future seemed brighter than ever. Maybe this was exactly what she deserved after all the pain she'd caused. But once again Emma took her breath away with an action that seemed too substantially to even comprehend.
Stubborn, protective Emma made a choice that was about to change so many lives, lives she touched in the years she appeared in their world. Changing everything around them, releasing them and bringing back their happy endings.
But she always followed her own path, determined to do the right thing, despite Hook's pleads for her to keep away. Her parents didn't even try to stop her, already aware that she made up her mind. A moment later she lifted the dagger and screamed out loud when the darkness slowly crept inside her. Releasing Regina from its grip, her eyes once again searching her loved ones, as if she was bracing herself for this being the very last time.
Regina gasped and had no idea why yet again she heard Emma's voice saying "Actions speak louder than words.."
She couldn't stop her eyes from wandering around, her heart breaking when the Savior was really nowhere to be found. She didn't even try to contain the tears that were streaming down her face, her body leaning heavily in Robin's arms, Snow's desperate cries only faintly reaching her consciousness.
"No.." she choked out and stared down at Robin's arms around her waist, unable to remember how she ended up in his embrace.
Those arms that should provide her with safety and strength. With hope and love. But all she felt was a deep kind of numbness and an aching pain inside her chest, panic coursing through her veins. She tried to get out of his grip, but found herself wrapped up even tighter against his body.
A shudder wrecked through her with the knowledge what the blonde sheriff just did for her. To keep her safe. To make sure that she would get her happy ending. It was too much for her to handle, feeling her heart ache painfully, her knees no longer able to keep her weight. Her energy almost completely drained, her emotions weighing to heavily on her shoulders.
"Regina.." Robin whispered, keeping her from falling down.
She couldn't breathe and buried her nails in the fabric of his coat while choked whimpers escaped her throat. She gathered her strength once more and twisted in his arms, inhaling sharply when he finally seemed to comprehend her need to be released, his hands reluctantly loosening their grip.
She shot forward and fell down on her knees in front of the dagger, her eyes trained on the name that appeared on the plate, crushing her heart.
Emma Swan.
The Dark One.. How twisted could things become? The one thing she feared most happened in a way she couldn't even begin to apprehend. She watched how her trembling hand slowly, tentatively reached out for the dagger, the tips of her fingers lightly brushing over the new formed letters.
Her breath hitched with the small amount of electricity that came along with the touch, slowly creeping up her arm. Goosebumps forming on its way as a strange kind of warmth spread throughout her body. What the hell?!
She blinked her eyes and could feel a fresh tear streaming down her face, slowly moving her fingers to grab ahold of the dagger. She didn't notice the hand that landed on her shoulder, gently squeezing it in the process as Snow moved beside her. Her tearstained face fixated on the dagger that slowly lifted from the ground in Regina's trembling hand.
Regina closed her eyes and tried to focus on the unfamiliar sensations that were suddenly rushing through her. Her heart skipping a beat while wondering why those foreign feelings seemed so familiar at the same time. What was going on?
"Put it down!" Hook's voice broke her thoughts and her eyes snapped open.
She nearly missed the brief and almost imperceptible glow that surrounded the dagger and tightened her grip, as if she ordered to see it again. But the glow vanished as quick as it came.
"I said put it down!" Hook snapped once again, his voice thick with emotions.
Regina tilted her head and looked up in his blood shot eyes, her heart breaking with the pain that she found so clearly in them. They stared at each other for a long moment, both unmoving and consumed in their own pain, a heavy silence lingering between them.
Regina swallowed hard when the dagger slightly vibrated in her hand, briefly glancing down to make sure it wasn't just her imagination. Ignoring the surge of hope that it might be Emma. She held her breath when a sudden vision of the blonde appeared behind her eyes. Her usual bright eyes darkened with fear, begging for her help.
"Emma.." she whimpered almost inaudible and fought the urge to press the dagger against her chest. To keep it safe. To keep Emma safe.
But from whom? Hook? Her parents? Don't be ridiculous, she snapped at herself. Emma lost her safety in benefit for hers, holding the evidence in her hand. She ducked her head and never felt more confused and off balance, surprised to find Snow's hand soothingly squeezing her shoulder.
She took several long moments to compose herself before she slowly lifted her head.
"I- I'm sorry.." she choked out, meeting Snow's eyes, "I- I.."
She couldn't think of anything to say and dropped her head in defeat, a heartbreaking sob releasing her throat. She slowly and carefully placed the dagger onto the ground again and instantly missed the warmth it provided her with. A warmth she'd expected to find in her soulmates arms, but instead was finding in a disturbingly dangerous object.
Before she could process what was happening, Snow dropped onto her knees as well and buried her face in her hands. Regina's heart stopped as she stared breathlessly to the broken woman in front of her, briefly meeting Charming's eyes that were filled with an unsettling amount of fear she never expected to find in his usual persuasive orbs.
He seemed so lost and frozen at his spot, unable to calm himself or let alone his wife, that Regina couldn't help but to reach out to her former enemy. Unsure how she was going to respond to her touch after everything that had occurred between them. After what Emma had done for her, giving up her own life in the process.
Snow, or Mary Margret in this world, the woman that ruined her life, but also the woman she grew to appreciate over the past months. The hatred that consumed them both for decades seemed to be replaced with a mutual trust and acceptance. Especially since Snow's confession about her past and the knowledge that she wasn't the innocent woman she appeared to be. To her own surprise and horror, Regina really cared for the woman.
And in this very moment she was the closest thing to Emma she could think of, besides the dagger that she could still feel burning inside the palm of her hand. Although she was utterly unprepared for this kind of closeness, she couldn't stop herself from soothing the woman that clearly needed the comfort.
She ran her hand gently through Snow's short hair, a gesture that was usually only preserved for Henry. She moved a little closer and surprised even herself when she wrapped her arms around the woman's shuddering shoulders and pulled her close. Even more surprised when Snow instantly melted into her touch and buried her face against Regina's neck.
She could feel her warm tears against her skin and tried to control her own breathing. Snow's hands clutched her leather jacket and Regina brushed her hand down the woman's spine in an attempt to sooth her.
She closed her eyes and for a moment allowed herself to relish in the warmth of their embrace, imagining that it was Emma she was holding close. Realizing in this very moment that she never shared this kind of intimacy with her Savior, not even once.
"We will find her.." she whispered in Snow's ear, her voice trembling beneath the weight of her words, cradling the woman in her arms. "I will find her.."
Note: I probably shouldn't start a new story when I didn't yet finish my previous one, but just couldn't help it ;)
One shot or continue?