Hey, Dan r u still coming over tomorrow? -PJ
Dan? -PJ
Oi! Gay boy! R u coming over today? -C
It's okay that u didn't want to hang with us but you could have told us. -PJ
RUDE -C
Oh my God Dan I just heard. Have you heard from him? Did Phil explain anything? -PJ
Dan r u ok? -C
Dan threw his phone at the wall.
Was he okay? NO
Had he heard from Phil? Not since he left.
Did he explain anything? No, Dan woke up one morning to an empty apartment and a note.
That was all he got. No last hug. No last video together. No real goodbye.
Just a note.
Sorry I didn't tell you Dan but I won't be coming back; please don't bother trying to find me again. I don't need you following me when all I'm doing is moving on. The thing you seem incapable of. -Phil Lester
Three periods and a semicolon; that was his goodbye.
It took Phil 41 words to make Dan shatter. Every sentence adding cracks to his fragile glass window pane he hid his heart behind.
I won't be coming back.
Why not? Was it something Dan had said?
I don't need you following me...
Dan would have followed him to the end of the world.
…all I'm doing is moving on…
He was the one to break up with Dan. Why did he have to move on? Couldn't he have just stayed with Dan? This didn't have to happen. So why?
The thing you seem incapable of.
How could Dan move on and let him go when the only thing he wanted was for Phil to love him. He would give anything. Phil saved him all those years ago when all he wanted to do was give up.
Was his love not enough?
Did Dan do something wrong?
He must have…
Phil wasn't cruel
Phil was perfect
He had told Dan time and time again…
I love you.
It was Dan's fault.
He always fucked everything good in his life up.
And Phil had been the very best
The very best thing to ever happen to Dan
And Dan had ruined it
Fucked it up
It was his fault
Phil wouldn't have left if Dan was worth it
If Dan had anything to offer
Maybe
Maybe he would have stayed
But Dan wasn't worth it
Dan was
Worthless
Stupid
Ugly
If he wasn't maybe Phil would have stayed
Maybe Dan wouldn't have given up