Note: This is set at some future point in the Puppy Love universe, when Quatre and Trowa are living together. If you haven't read that series, all you need to know is that Maggie is Quatre's very young Cairn Terrier, Leo is Trowa's cat, Taco Burrito Quesadilla del Enchillada y Catalonia is Dorothy's rather mixed-up Chihuahua, and Shinnie is Duo's Border Collie. Please excuse my, er Taco's, attempts to speak Spanish; it's a long time since his ancestors came from the New World to Europe.
I am dedicating this to Snow, to commemorate a certain happy event.
Many thanks to KS for doing the beta thing…and for the spy/spa conversation.
The New Pet:
'Quatre! Are you there?' A female voice called, and Maggie exploded off the sofa, yelling.
'It's Catherine! Quatre, it's Catherine! Quick! Quick!'
She adored Catherine, who belonged to Trowa, even though Taco didn't like her because she was a VET, and Leo didn't like her because she'd slapped him once for biting her.
She ran ahead of her human to the front door, making sure he was going the right way. He tended to get a bit distracted sometimes, especially when he was playing the violin.
'I don't know what all the fuss is about,' Taco grumbled, shadowing them nonetheless in case he missed something. 'But at least he's stopped making that racket. It sounds like alley-cats being strangled with lariats.'
'It does not!' Maggie said instantly. The cheek of him! Quatre played his violin very well, everyone said so; even Nataku's human, who almost never praised anything.
Quatre opened the door and Maggie rushed out, eager to be picked up and loved. Instead, she got a perfunctory pat on the head just before Catherine handed her human a basket.
'Sorry, Quatre. I'm running really late. It's so kind of you guys to take her for me.'
'It's no problem at all,' Quatre said calmly. 'We're really looking forward to it.'
Catherine shrugged, hauling in a huge carrier bag. 'I doubt my brother is, somehow. I know just how he feels about all this.'
'What is it?' Maggie jumped up and down, trying to see.
'It's not good! I'll tell you that,' Taco informed her, growling softly. 'If the senora Caterina is leaving that thing here, we are all in mucho trouble. Trouble muy grande.'
'You know I don't understand those words,' Maggie protested, watching Catherine hand Quatre a pile of bags and boxes. 'Is it a new puppy? Did Quatre have a puppy?'
Taco exchanged glances with Leo, who had come out to see what all the fuss was about.
'You know,' Leo said, 'there are some things we really need to talk about.'
Maggie gave an irritable little flick of her tail. 'I know about all that already. Mating and licking and using that slippery stuff that tastes really weird. It's boring.'
It had been interesting to watch the first few times; Quatre made some very funny noises when Trowa was lying on top of him, and she could sense how happy he made her human. After a few months, it had all got a bit boring and sometimes she and Leo were even shut out of the bedroom if they were noticed, which was very unfair because it was their house too.
'Your human can't have a puppy,' Leo told her. 'He's the wrong sex.'
'My human is not the wrong anything,' Maggie protested, the hair on the back of her neck bristling. 'He's perfect! And I bet he could have puppies if he wanted. He just doesn't want to.'
'Well, he couldn't,' Taco insisted. 'My human is the right sex, because she has long hair.'
'Oh, I didn't know that,' Maggie mused. 'Does that mean Duo could have a puppy?'
Taco nodded. 'And Nataku's second human; the blond one who reaches the sky.' He growled softly. 'My human doesn't like that one; it's why she went away to learn to be a spy.'
'Spa!' Leo interrupted.
'Bastardo!' Taco shot back. 'How dare you call Senora Dorothea names? I shall challenge you to la duello, and you shall rue the day you ever met Don Taco Burrito Quesadilla del Enchillada y Catalonia.'
'I already do, you dunderheaded rat' the cat muttered. 'But your human has gone to a spa. It's got nothing to do with spies. She's probably gone to soak away her fleas!'
'She does not have fleas and even if she did the fleas of a daughter of the House of Catalonia are of more worth than a mere cat and ….'
'Oh, be quiet,' Maggie told them both. 'You know Quatre doesn't like fighting. He likes us all to be friends.
She ran over to Quatre to tell him just how much she loved him, and he ignored her scrabbling paws, for the first time ever, engrossed in talking to Catherine and the new …THING in its basket.
'It's called a baby,' Taco told her quietly, when she slunk back to join the two of them.
'A what?'
'A small human,' Leo supplied. 'It's not Quatre's. It's Cathy's. Haven't you been listening to them talking about it for weeks?'
'Oh, that. I thought it was going to be another dog. Can we play with it?'
'No!' Leo said instantly. 'Don't you go anywhere near it.'
Catherine bent down and licked the THING. 'I'll call you to check how you're getting on,' she told Quatre. 'Ring me if you need to know anything, and I've left you instructions; they're in the blue bag. You do have my mobile number, don't you? And the hotel where I'm staying during the conference?'
Quatre laughed. 'Cathy, relax. Of course we have your number. And we'll be fine. Now, come on. You have to cut the umbilical cord at some point.'
'I know, I know,' Catherine sighed. 'It's just the first time I've left her for more than a couple of hours. Thank you so much for taking her.'
'She's going?' Maggie gasped. 'She's leaving the baby here? Why? Quatre doesn't need a baby; he's got me to love him. And Trowa and Shinnie and Duo. He doesn't need a baby as well!'
'This is bad.' Taco lay his head on his paws. 'Very bad. Desastroso! Catastrofico!. I don't want this nino in my house! Santa Maria, this is a mal dia!'
'It's not your house,' Maggie said spiritedly. 'You're just staying here while your human is at the spy-thing with her fleas. It's Quatre's and my house, and if he wants a baby, then he can have one.'
'You're so innocent, querida. Haven't you ever heard of the famous proverb 'A baby in the door, dog not wanted any more'.'
'No!' Maggie gasped, taking a step away from him. 'Quatre would never do that.'
'Of course he wouldn't!' Leo stood up, shooting the Chihuahua his most intimidating green-eyed glare. 'Don't listen to him. Just, Maggie, stay away from the creature. Humans tend to get nervous if animals go near their young. You don't want your human to be cross with you, do you?'
'He's never cross!' Maggie said instantly. 'Well, hardly ever. I don't understand, Leo. What's wrong?'
'The baby is what's wrong.'
Quatre gave Catherine a quick lick on one cheek before she left and then took the THING into the sitting room with him. He never even looked back to check if Maggie was following.
'He doesn't love me any more,' Maggie said dolefully, curling up on the bottom step into a tight ball of pure misery. 'He loves the baby ninny thing more than me.'
'Nino, not ninny,' Taco corrected, and then quailed at a green-eyed glared from Leo. 'Lo siento, Magdalena. I'm sorry.'
'He does still love you, Maggie,' Leo said firmly. 'It's just – humans become strange around the young of their own species.' He hesitated, looking over at Taco. 'You might as well know the worst, so you're prepared. Just in case. Sometimes, they get so obsessed with the babies, that they don't want their cats or dogs any more.'
'No!' Maggie choked. 'No, no, never. Quatre would never be like that. What…what happens to pets if their humans don't want them?'
'It depends,' Leo said slowly, green eyes staring unblinkingly at the door. 'Sometimes, they take them somewhere far away and leave them there. Sometimes, they take them to the bad place and leave them there until they find another human to love.'
'And what if – if they can't find another human?' Oh, this was terrible, terrible. Catastrofico, as Taco had said. Maggie knew about the BAD PLACE; Shinnie, whom she loved almost as much as Quatre, had been there once. 'Will – will Quatre send me to that place now that he has a baby? And what about Trowa? Won't Quatre want either of us?'
What would poor Trowa do if Quatre didn't want him either? He didn't have a house anymore so maybe he would have to go to a BAD PLACE for humans…..
'You shall come and live with me, chicquita,' Taco declared grandly. 'Don't worry. My human hates those things. I've heard her say so many times. She would never breed one for herself because it would destroy her bella figura. And stop her drinking the tequilas.'
'Thank you,' Maggie said politely, because her human approved of good manners. She didn't want to go and live with Dorothy, though, because she was scary. She would go and live with Shinnie instead.
Then, because she needed to spend as much time with her human as possible before he got rid of her, she went into the sitting room and sat watching them.
Quatre was holding the THING, all wrapped up in a pink blanket - which looked really soft and fluffy - on his lap. On the place that belonged to Maggie, although she sometimes shared with Trowa.
It was true, then, what the others had said. He didn't want her anymore.
'Are you all right?' Taco came and sat beside her, licking her ear.
'No. I'll never, ever be happy again. Quatre called the THING princess and that's my name.'
'It's just a nickname, querida. It doesn't mean anything.'
Maggie sniffed. 'Well, it's my nickname. It doesn't belong to that ninny thing.'
'Cheer up, Maggie.' Leo came up on her other side and twitched his long tail over her back. 'When my human gets home, he might make Quatre give it back to Cathy. He was very angry when she said she was breeding it in the first place, so I don't think he likes it either.'
'He never makes my human do anything he doesn't want,' Maggie said sadly. 'If Quatre wants a baby, he'll get to have one. I know he will. And we'll have to live on the street, like Shinnie used to, and eat rats and not have a proper bed to sleep in or humans to take care of, or anything….'
'Basta!' Taco snapped suddenly. 'I will not stand by and watch a senorita in such distress. Leo, mi companero, we must put a stop to this nonsense. I am a caballero descended from the most high and noble Burrito family of Mexico City. I cannot permit an amiga to feel such sadness. We must get rid of this bébé.'
'How?'
Taco sat upright, ears pricked forward. 'I shall bite it until its blood runs, like I bit that bad man who wanted to hurt Quatre. Ah, violence is a glorious thing!'
'But you can't hurt it!' Maggie protested. 'It's only little. And you'll get into terrible trouble. You know, we're not supposed to bite people.'
'Hah! I am El Guerrero! I have sworn to protect you; what do I care for trouble when honour is at stake. Anyway, my human lets me do anything I like. She won't care.'
'You can't bite a baby human,' Leo said firmly. 'The best thing is just to keep away from it and hope for the best. If you go anywhere near it, there will be trouble.'
'OK.' Maggie laid her head back on her paws and went back to watching her human. He looked content with the THING on his lap. Oh, dear. Maybe he wouldn't want her or Trowa or Leo anymore. Well, they would just have to go and live with Shinnie and maybe his humans would let Trowa mate with them sometimes so he wouldn't be lonely.
'Hey, Maggie.' Quatre put the THING in a fluffy white box and then patted his lap. 'Come here, sweetheart.'
Maggie's paws moved so fast against the wooden floor than he skidded into his legs, and was scooped up into her proper place on his lap.
'Sorry, Princess. I've been neglecting you, haven't I?' Quatre ruffled her ears, the way she loved, and cuddled her. 'It's just for tonight, I promise. She'll be going home in the morning.'
Ah, well, that was all right then. She could share Quatre for one night; after all, he had to share her with Taco and Leo and Shinnie and her other friends and he never complained. She snuggled happily against him until she heard a car stop outside and barked to let her human know that Trowa was home.
Trowa came into the room and Leo immediately stalked out; he didn't believe in indulging his human with any show of affection. Trowa just grinned and patted Maggie and bent down and licked Quatre, the sort of licking where they both used their tongues on each other, and made Quatre squirm.
'Say hello to your beautiful niece.'
'Hi, Juliet.' Trowa picked up the baby with a certain lack of enthusiasm.
'I'm glad you're home! I was hoping you would before she needed to be changed.'
'Why can't you do it?'
'You're her biological uncle, and a vet, so I thought….'
'You're the one who offered to take her tonight. Not me.'
'Trowa! Stop it. She's only a baby. You mightn't approve of what Cathy did but it's not Juliet's fault.'
'I don't approve of what Cathy did. For God's sake, she's thirty years old, she's a vet; you'd think she'd know about contraception.'
'The pill isn't always infallible.' Quatre blushed slightly. 'Anyway, that doesn't matter now; we've got a gorgeous niece to spoil and that's the important thing.'
'You're right.' Trowa relaxed slightly, putting the baby-thing back in its basket, and pulling Quatre against him. 'It's just hard being a single parent. Dan's a nice enough guy, but I can't see him being much help with the practical stuff. And you know, when I was a kid, I would've loved two parents in the same house. You don't know anything about that, Quat. You grew up in a proper home with two parents. I never had that; both my parents had a succession of partners and I never knew where I was with them.'
'I may have had two parents, but they never had any time for me or my sisters,' Quatre said tightly. 'We were all packed off to boarding school as soon as we were old enough. My father's secretary used to pick out our birthday presents; she even signed the cards sometimes. And when we were home for the holidays, we were expected to stay out of the way. I think the longest conversation I ever had with my father was when I told him I was gay, and that ended with him disowning me and throwing me out of the house.'
'Oh, honey. Don't.'
Maggie, on the floor, gave Trowa's ankle an approving lick. Her human got upset about things sometimes, and Trowa was usually good at calming him down.
'I've always envied the fact that you were friends with your parents. You've told me so many stories of being at the circus with your mother, and of your father taking you on trips, and letting you help out at the vet's. You were so much better off than me, and Juliet is going to be the luckiest little girl in the world, because she has a mother who adores her, and two wonderful uncles who think she's amazing.'
'Well, one of her uncles is anyway,' Trowa said lovingly.
Taco, under the couch, put both paws over his ears. 'They're not starting that sappy stuff again, are they? I love you; no I love you more. It's makes me sick to my estomago!'
'I think it's sweet. You can tell they really love each other.'
Taco coughed loudly, like he was trying to hack up a hairball. 'L'Amor; it's just a myth, Magdalena. My human says so.'
'It is not! Love is real. Shinnie says so! And Nataku says her human loves Zechs, so there! Now, stop, I want to listen to them.'
'Cathy's really upset, you know,' Quatre was saying. 'She loves you, and she hates the fact that you're so disapproving of all this.'
Trowa shrugged. 'Yeah. I've been an ass. I'll talk to her when she gets back from this conference, OK? It's just that I remember my mum trying to balance her career and me, and having some sort of social life, and that was at the circus with loads of people helping out.'
'Well, Cathy has us to help out,' Quatre said firmly. 'And all her other friends. She'll be fine.'
'You really don't mind the whole babysitting thing? I don't want you to feel obligated to help out; I'm the one who should be doing all of that.'
'Oh, don't be silly. I want to be a part of Juliet's life.' He dropped his voice. 'Some of my sisters have babies, you know, and I don't think I'll ever be allowed to see them. They'll probably grow up hearing stories about their perverted uncle Quatre, if I'm ever even mentioned.' He took a deep breath. 'So I would love to help out with Juliet. After all, she's probably the only baby I'll ever have much to do with.'
Trowa just held him, after that. Maggie didn't quite see what the problem was. Quatre had plenty of people and animals to love him; he didn't need some stupid family who didn't care about him.
'Would you like one?' Trowa asked finally.
'One what?'
'Duh,' Trowa teased. 'One baby. Single sex adoptions are legal in Sanque now. We could.'
'I don't know.' Quatre sounded odd, like he was laughing and crying at the same time. Maggie hopped up on the sofa to cuddle him, Leo stuck his head around the door and even Taco slunk out to get a closer look at what was happening. 'One day. Maybe. Juliet's so beautiful – it's like she's a perfect little miracle in our house. I'd sort of like that. If you would?'
'One day. Maybe.' Trowa bent down and licked him, the sort of licking that went on for ages and ended up with Quatre sprawled underneath him, panting. 'You could teach it to play the violin.'
'You could teach it all about animals.'
'You could teach it how to be the most loving, compassionate person in the universe.'
Yes! Maggie waved her tail wildly, loving Trowa.
'So, maybe one day? Something to think about?' Trowa gave the tip of Quatre's nose a quick lick. 'I just want you to know that I'll give you anything you want.'
'I love you,' Quatre said softly. 'So much.'
'I know,' Trowa said smugly, and then dodged Quatre's elbow. 'Love you too. D'you want to order something in for dinner? I got a couple of DVDs on the way home for us to watch.'
'Oh? What did you get? Trowa, we can't watch these with a baby in the house. There's violence and swearing and babies are very impressionable. I got some Disney films so she can listen to the songs.'
'I'm not watching a Disney film!'
'But I got ones with animals! Tarzan and The Jungle Book and The Lady and the Tramp. That's such a romantic film! We could watch that together.'
Trowa rolled his eyes. 'It's an appalling film. The couple neglect their dog because they have a baby; people shouldn't be allowed to have animals if they're going to treat them like that. And those Siamese cats used to give me nightmares when I was a kid. Maybe we could go to bed early instead and you could show me just how much you love me….'
'I think you should know it by now. But Tro, we can't! I promised Cathy we'd let Juliet sleep in our room, so we can't….you know.'
'She'll be asleep, Quatre. She won't care what we do. And we can be quiet. Really quiet…'
'But she might wake up and get a complex about sex for life, and it'll be all our fault.'
'Oh, you have got to be kidding me! She's a month old, honey. She won't know what we're doing, any more than Maggie does.'
Maggie and Leo exchanged glances; they did know. They knew it all, by now. Even if Shinnie knew some weirder things because his humans were very creative, and had lots of toys to play with. Quatre and Trowa just had each other, and sometimes ice-cream.
'Shush!' Quatre said suddenly. 'She's awake now. Aren't you, angel?' He wrinkled his nose. 'Tro, I think maybe she needs to be changed. Would you?'
Trowa leaned back, crossing his arms. 'You'll have to do it sometime.'
'I will! I promise, just not now. Please. I'll feed her if you change her.'
'How come you get the easy part?'
'It's not easy! She has to be burped and everything. It's very technical. Besides,' he grinned wickedly, 'Cathy's not breast-feeding any more but she left some of her own milk for Juliet. Do you really want to touch that?'
Trowa shuddered. 'I'll change her! Fine! You call for a pizza and after dinner we are going upstairs for some very quiet sex. We can even play your Disney music in the background to drown out any noises. OK?'
'OK,' Quatre was suddenly wrapped around him, and Maggie wagged her tail happily. Everything was OK. The baby had its own home and wasn't going to stay here; she just had to put up with it for one night.
They all loved each other and even if Quatre did breed a baby, she'd love it anyway, because it was his.
Even if he got another dog, she'd try hard to like it.
Maybe…
