A/N: Hello everyone, and thanks for taking the time out to read my story! It's my first Yoai Fanfiction, as well as my first attempt at a Supernatural Fanfction, so please be gentle with reviews! I really did try my best on this story, and I hope it shows. I hope you enjoy the story, and please leave a review with any advice you may have! I love chatting and talking with fellow fans. ^_^

Dean had never felt more alone in his entire life.

Of course, he'd always known that in his line of work, he would never have time for any sort of relationship; hell, he'd practically signed up for a life of unbearable loneliness the day he decided he'd wanted to become a hunter. Dean would never know what made it so special to wake up with the same person next to him in bed every morning, or what it was like to experience true love. It was always 'Sam and Dean;' No one else, no exceptions.

Ah yes, being born under the infamous last name 'Winchester' had many obvious perks.

And then there were the bad days.

Forced to watch as his brother falls limp to the floor, Dean cries out in a spurt of fear and rage, hate radiating from every bloodstained pore on his body. The gag that had been forced into his mouth muffled the flurry of obscenities aimed at the group of people in front of him. They were all possessed by a special type of demon, and were trying to use their vessels to their fullest potential. Basically meaning that they were going to try and kill Sam and Dean before they got their sorry asses thrown right back into hell. Of course, so far it had been three agonizing days since Dean and his brother had seen daylight, and being tied up, tortured and starved didn't exactly work in their favor.

But now that Sam was incapacitated, their captors decided it was time to move onto him. Taking the gag out of his mouth, Dean groaned as a metal pipe struck him in the side of the head, gasping as he barely holds back a scream as the pipe smashed into his knee, sending his brain into a hazy, numb state, seeing nothing but stars as he is dragged away from his brother, fighting as hard as he possibly could in a futile attempt to escape, silently hoping that something, anything would come along and turn his luck around so that, at the very least, his brother could get out of here safely. But considering he hadn't seen Castiel in months, and he had checked in with most of his contacts before they had been captured, no one would come looking for them before they were long dead. Doing his best to ignore the fiery pain that shattered every nerve in his brain, one final, distressed thought goes through his mind before Dean can see nothing but one image, a desperate plea escaping his lips in a most likely failed attempt to send a message up into the Heavens.

Castiel, please… help.

God was punishing Castiel; that much the angel knew for certain.

Why can't I just erase my feelings?

Curiosity pooling in his icy blue eyes, Castiel pushes his way through the group of angels gathering around, ignoring the dirty looks he got as he passed by his so-called "friends;" just because he was being held up here in Heaven like a prisoner, again, because he'd used his conscious gave them no right to judge him. Of course, there was a more personal reason at the root of why he had used his heart instead of his head… but now he was so far from his true motivation, his true love, that it hurt like an unquenchable hell-fire.

But just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, they did.

Finally to the front of the group, Castiel expected his comrades to be gazing down upon a city they were about to destroy just because of one demon or witch, maybe deciding what person to smite just because they lived next to a monster, or something just as illogical.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Instead of the usual uncanny things he and the other angels watched and frowned upon from above, Castiel watched in horror as a bloodied, bruised Dean got ripped to pieces by a group of demons, and very powerful ones at that. Judging by the size, Castiel guessed that they were almost like the archangels; more powerful than the average demon, they were mostly used for executing people whose souls would then be thrown into hell to be used as leverage, or they just wanted to take an impromptu ego-trip (killing one of the most successful hunters around would serve as quite the accomplishment). Much as it pained him, Castiel figured that it made sense for them to attack Dean, considering his soul had been tainted and would probably descend into darkness, but it didn't make sense; why were the other angels watching Dean's demise with such a calm demeanor? And why were they glaring at him like it was all Castiel's fault? All color draining from his face, Castiel's heart virtually stopped; his body freezes up as he suddenly forgets how to breathe, a terrible understanding crossing his normally stoic features.

This is all because of me. He's a distraction, so they're going to take him away from me. I won't ever get to see my true love again.

Panicking, Castiel attempts to shift his focus onto something else, anything better than his current situation. It didn't take very long for happier memories to flood his brain like a plague of locusts; there was only one thing he needed to think about in order to have warm feelings invade his chest like an insatiable heat that was only satisfied when he was near the most amazing man on earth.

Dean.

And there was his humanness again; Castiel's heart began to pound uncontrollably as his mind was filled with thoughts of Dean: his dark, sandy blonde hair, perfectly sculpted abs and the way he moved when he was hunting… Castiel nearly drooled thinking about it. Luckily he had no time to elaborate on his thoughts as he nearly shoved every single person out of the way in a burst of strength and speed, not hearing any of their loud complaints as they were tossed aside like ragdolls, the infinite distance between him and the earth below like an expanding black-hole: an infinite distance that there was no avoiding or getting out of. Finally alone, Castiel concentrated his thoughts, sending a single prayer into the infinite expanse of light around him.

Make me human… I don't care what you do, just let me save him!

A fresh bout of tears burning in his eyes, Castiel shudders with resistance but willingly lets them fall, content to have his emotions consume him from the inside-out. Nothing else mattered anymore, and it was pretty obvious that he was going to have to watch as Dean was thrown into hell for doing something righteous. It made no sense why innocent people had to be punished solely because they sold their soul for the right reasons. It was all a very conflicting moral dilemma, and he wasn't sure if anyone would ever figure it out.

Of course, all of this made about as much sense as the voice that responded back to his prayer.

Are you sure, Castiel? You will never be able to become an Angel again.

Castiel frowned, unable to hold back the words that poured out of him. "I understand completely." Getting up from his kneeling position, he turns his back on the voice, his form seething with arrogance.

"But I don't care. I said to make me a human if that would help Dean, and I meant it."

The voice didn't bother to answer this time, but instead a rush of energy soon crashed into Castiel, his body feeling drained and then rejuvenated again as he was ridded of his angel powers, but gifted with his own soul and mind, now free to do whatever he wanted. Letting the pure emotion flood his veins, Castiel's eyes rolled into the back of his head, rapidly falling down to earth, expecting a crash-landing but instead, when he opened his eyes, he was inside the same warehouse he had seen Dean in, Sam lying limp on the floor. Rushing forward and busting down the door back with a kick, Castiel charged into the room like a bull, not caring about the people he was hurting, only caring that they were hurting the one person he cared about, and if they were going to take him away right after he became human they had another thing coming. Immediately he shoved the three off of Dean, their head ricocheting off the metal wall. Not giving a moment's pause, Castiel slammed two of their heads repeatedly into the wall. He might not have the power to throw the demons out of their bodies and back to hell, but he could certainly beat the demons out of them.

Eventually his words rang true, and it wasn't long before a thick black smog covered the entire area, signifying the demons' retreat. Leaving the now empty vessels alone, Castiel turned his attention towards Dean, who was somehow still managing to stay awake. An uncharacteristic smile crossed Castiel's features, as he helped the other man up, wincing as his weight completely rests against him.

"The hell are you here for, Cas? I thought you weren't coming back."

Castiel merely shrugs. "I was locked up in heaven for a while, but now I'm not."

Dean frowned. "Well thanks for dumbing it down for me. Now, where'd Sam go?"

Helping Dean hobble over to his brother, Castiel watched, grimacing each time Dean moved on his own. Letting Dean rouse his brother from unconsciousness, Castiel sighs with relief as Sam eventually opens his eyes, albeit groaning in the process. "D-Dean? What happened? Where are- Castiel? How did you get here?"

Dean smiled down at his little brother, patting his shoulder affectionately. "Whoa, why don't you keep your pie-hole shut for awhile? You need rest more than I do, though maybe Castiel could-" Glancing back at Castiel, Dean's eyes narrowed with curiosity. "Can you still heal, by any chance?" He merely shakes his head, not bothering to go into details. All of that could be explained later.

Dean, however, would not let the matter be resolved so quickly. "Well then there goes that plan. Just help me and Sam get in the car, then we'll be able to go get some supplies to fix us up. I don't think we broke any bones, but I'm not gonna sit around here and wait to find out." There was an almost accusing tone to his voice, and Castiel couldn't really blame him; he was practically useless in this situation. He had no powers to heal them anymore, so why would they even want him around? Apprehensive about his decision, Castiel follows orders and then doesn't say another word until a few hours later, after Dean had decided to pull into a shady Motel for the night. Castiel felt his own energy supply fading, so he wasn't quite sure he'd heard Dean's voice from the other side of the room.

"Don't think you're getting away with this."

Castiel sat up in his bed, lips pressed together firmly. "And what exactly have I done?"

"You know exactly what you did, Cas! You saw what was happening from your little perch up in heaven and decided that it was finally time to come and help us for the first time in months! How about the next time I'm inches away from death you just don't come at all?"

Castiel couldn't even begin to process all of this information; his sleepy brain understood that he was yelling, and some of the words seemed to make sense, but each one struck a blow at the fragile heart he'd been forbidden to use for so long; he desperately wished he could explain his sudden disappearance, but it would take too long and Dean was in no mood for explanations. But how could he say all those things? He'd come back for him! He would do anything to keep him alive just another day, so why couldn't he just understand that? Holding back the tears and raw emotion he desperately wanted to unleash, Castiel's hands shake as he replies quickly, keeping his tone at an icy calm.

"Dean, it wasn't like that…"

"Oh yeah?! Because it all seems pretty damn clear to me."

"I was only being held up there because I loved you! And now I'm human and I feel awful and I shouldn't have even come down in the first place!" There it was; his anxieties spelled out on a silver-platter. Dean doesn't respond for a minute, but the sobering look that flashes across his face was victory enough to Castiel. Dean could get so caught up in his own miscalculations, and it took a good slap to shake him out of it.

"You- are you serious, Castiel? That's why you couldn't use your powers? You became human… for me?" The fallen angel offers a simple nod in response. Any words he tried to say got caught in his throat, the harsh reality of how much this affected not only Dean but himself sinking in like an enormous, crushing weight. Overwhelmed by all of the thoughts assaulting his brain, Castiel abruptly gets up from his bed, pacing around in a moment of paralyzing shock.

"I-I'm really a human. I may never get to see my father again, I don't even know if I can go back. I'm just going to rot in hell for the rest of my life… Oh God, what did I do?! Nothing can help me now, I may as well just kill myself to get it over with!" His rambling was cut short by the feeling of a hand intertwining with his own, keeping it firmly locked in place and putting a stop to his pacing.

"You might want to sit down there, ace."

Sitting next to Dean, he instinctively puts his head on the other man's shoulders, unsure of what to say. Luckily Dean does, and takes the opportunity to speak up.

"Look, I don't want this to be some sort of sappy moment, but, becoming human? I think that was one of the most amazing things anyone has ever done for me. And that's coming from the man who was dragged out of hell. Oh wait, that was you too." He chuckled. "Cas, I guess what I'm trying to say is… I love you, too." Squeezing his hand to see if he could get any sort of reaction, Dean was amazed when he sees Castiel's face break out into an enormous grin. Snuggling closer to his newfound love, Castiel kisses Dean on the cheek, then leans back onto the mattress with a sigh. "Being tired is so tedious. Why must we go through the same process every night?" Dean sighed and lied next to him, content to let Castiel snuggle beside him like a life-raft. It was kind of strange, this strange new feeling that rose in his chest. Why did he feel the explicit need to keep Castiel next now? Why is it that, even though he had never wanted to have anything more to do with another person than a simple one-night stand, but now was closer than he'd ever been to anyone, let alone another man! Well, a fallen angel who happened to follow him wherever he goes, but that was besides the point. There was also an inexplicable feeling of completeness now that Castiel was lying next to him. And even though Dean had always thought that he and Sam were the only ones who mattered, he didn't want Castiel to ever leave because he would feel empty without him. Only one logical explanation came to mind, though he didn't know if it brought about more questions or answers.

He needed Castiel, and Castiel needed him.

Castiel loved him.

And Dean was just starting to believe that he loved him back.

But as his own eye-lids flutter closed, their heaviness becoming too great to ignore, he couldn't help but think that, even with all of these questions, he felt more alive than ever, his mind refusing to come down from the high he was feeling at the thought of Castiel never leaving his side again. So with one last glance at Castiel, he placed a protective arm over his angel, and let sleep wash over him with a blissful sigh.

Oh, this was going to be fun to explain in the morning.

A/N: Well, there you have it! I may continue this story, or at least write another piece related to it, so please tell me what you think about a sequel!