Cynthia cries when she fall off the stair being push down by her father,she never get a break she alway in pain..and it make her sad heart tired from all the beating and name calling.

all she wanted was the pain to stop, but it never does.. this is her life.

no.. please im sorry.''

as her father grab by her hair as she try to run away but it never work well for her.. then she only know darkness.

morning came

she froze in fear as she try to not scream in it hurt so much..she can feel dry blood on her skin and on her clothes..she whimpter as she can hear the house is quiet..

she doesn't know that good thing or not..

but she know they are drunk from all party they have with they damn friends.. she thought quiet..

but Cynthia know that today was not going to be a good day,sudden she can hear her parent shouting downstairs. so much sound,plat breaking and cursing at each other.. once again they are in a bad mood.. and very awake.. yup today it not good day.. she told herself

''they never stop doing this.''

''alway fighting, I hate this.''

but she more scared of him..her fahter..the one her make her life a living hell. when she come back from school, when he not working he there ready to make her scream..

she really hate it when her dad doesnt work, he just there just to make her pay for being born.., when he near all she ever felt is pain and hurt.. or lay bleeding on the floor..like away..

her father alway say this is her fault.. you make me do this to you when you make a mistake..

that all she ever hear from him.. her mother dont care, when she beg for help,she just look away..

she hate them, yet her child self love them, and want to be love in return..but she know ,that will never in her dream..

she know if she goes down there, right now.. they will hurt her again..and she will pay dearly.. like what happen last night and all other night when she make them mad..

but she never do any thing bad.. she is so sorry for not being good,

she turn to her side with a pain groan as she saw her clock and it say it was 7am. it still early.. she thought tired as she decide not leave the safe of her room and bed.. her body can't even move...it hurt so bad.. and she doesn't know she can take another hit from them.. right now..

she hold her pillow closed and cried silent

she know it time..to get up..

her heart hold fear as she know she have to face them when she go down, her sad eyes, a drop of tear flown down as she realize, it time to face her worst fear... ..

''her parent.''

her world is empty and dark and lonely, all they ever left is pain and shame,, all the torment when they pissed off.. or unhappy..every hit , every dark mark lay on her pale skin and her broken soul..

is her fault, they never stop repeated those damn word, and soon she start to belive it..even if she know they are wrong.. or not.

her soul is broken from all the beating ,her heart is breaking from all the hurt and tear mix with blood that fall when she down alone on the cold floor. all she want was to be free..

she have no safe place, not at the house..that place it not a home.. the place that she felt is a little better is school..

when she there, she invisible, no one pay attention to her, she nothing just like what her father have alway told her.. slowly little tear come down as she try to wipe them away..

and slowly start to get ready for her school, the McKinney high..

they move to another city..and a new school

she have to start new..again it not like she any friend to care for,,

she have no one that care for her..

she went to her bathroom and smile at her mirror, please with herself,no one can see her body that is cover by the hoodie, that she used.. no one ever know about the black and purple mark that lay hidden. when her father is unhappy..

after making sure.. nothing is strang, no one can see her brusie.

she went doen the stair fast ,all she want to do was scream and cry..it hurt... but she didn't stop or dare to not move... after making sure no one was there, she went outside..

walking down the street just going and going. she turn the corner and as she walked to her new school,
immediately there was students everywhere the whole place.. it was so crowded.. fear and panic light hold her heart she went inside the inside the school and went to the attendant room, she saw an old woman in the front of the big deck, she does not look happy to be there.. she wanted to leave but she need her schedule the woman check the computer and print her schedule and gave it to her when she left the room the school bell rang , teen were walking fast everywhere Laughlin with their friends going to they locker and grab they book for the fist period class,, she finally found her locker number after a long search she finally found it . as she walk toward it she so young boy with blonde hair very beautiful eyes he was so pale like me

he looks scared , he was checking everywhere behind him the same way I react with my parents come back from work to make my life a living hell the pain and hurt that never let you go.

she just look at him and she walk closer to her locker, passing by him he froze like he expected someone to pushed him ... I open my locker ,
as I said hi he just look at her and wave back weakly.. say

hi my name is Kurt Hummel , I never seen you before? are you new?

yeah I'm new my name is Cynthia I just started today, nice to meet you too Kurt . she put her hand out and shake his hand. he smile and nodded after they shake hand

he turned back to locker and getting his stuff ready to leave to his class. I turn to my locker and start to put some in thing when I heard a loud smash, and heard laughter I saw Kurt on the floor, they were calling him name,, they say f word . i went to him and help off the floor,, I ask if he was not hurt,, he say he was okay,, but I didn't belive him.. that was a lied, like i always tell myself when my dad thrown into the cold wall hard and hitting her like a toy.. and all i will say.. is my head.. IM okay...

but that doesn't matter.. she stared

as Kurt got his bag ,closed his locker and say bye as he walk away fast to his class room. not turning once..

she sigh tired

as she close her locker and still looking lost, not understand of why she help him,,
why did i care when he got hurt..? no one ever help when i get thrown.. maybe he kind remind of herself..she thought sadly as she close her locker and left to her new class.

she know she was late, but she didn't care.. she too tired to act everything is okay when it not..

after finding her class, she knock and the teacher open told her to go to the deck and sat down..
she nodes quickly and do as she been told..

she find her deck and sit down fast and took her notebook and turn to the front,, as the teacher begin class..

when she into the classroom she get the teacher slip . , the teacher the tell her to go to in the empty deck as she sat down quietly

ignoring the whispers that surround her ,by the student . as she look around the room she saw some jock throwing some paper ball to their head Laughlin with friends as they fist hit as each other,, mocking the kid,,the boy look like a nerd,, suppose that was he was,, the teacher was not pay attention,, just talking and writing some information in the whiteboard,, .. not one was listen,,,no one care,,

she grab her notebook and start to copy ..

The clock click over and over into the first period ended,,but she waited for the rest of the class left,not wanting any of them to touch her,,, when it safe she stand up and grab her thing and wave good-bye to her teacher as she left.

kids were everywhere, she walk pass them to find her another class room. going up the stair ,she looking for the sign of 205. all she saw was endless hall,it was geting a head aches..

when she find it she quickly went to her her second period as she enter the room .slowly going to the teacher giving Mr will his slip for him to sign. after that she went to an empty deck and sat down, froze when she saw him it was Kurt, he look shaking,, his eye hold fear, she wonder what happen to him ? but again that not her problem she look away turn to the teacher,already to take out her notebook.

immediately everyone came in went to their seat chatting with their friends,
again the teacher begin class.

but somehow her eyes wonder to Kurt as he sat quiet.. not looking at anyone,,,

she couldn't help it, and it was making her uneasy to worry about him. she turn to the front continue to the work as the school bell ring loud as everyone left. she was about to get up but paused when he saw Kurt have not moved .as she walk to the exit.

should I go to him? she thought weakly,not knowing what to do..he look tired like her. when she have a bad day but for her, it safe to hide from her demon,,

no it's not my duty to take care of him, or worry,as she walk out for another period class..

time pass as it was time for lunch, she scan for empty table and quickly sat after she got her food. she heard whisper behind her ,but she doesn't bother to turn,she continue to look to hear laughter again, only to see Kurt on the floor with a cold slushes on his face and clothes.

what the hell? she thought,only to see people were laugh pointed as it was funny

what is wrong with this people ? she got up and went to Kurt, grab his hand and pull him out the cafeteria and went to the closest girl restroom, she not going to go the boy restroom.. that for sure..

and pull Kurt to it and help and clean him up softy, getting a wet paper towel , pulling it toward him as the silence fill the room..no one talk as he look away trying to be strong..

there Kurt.. u clean.. "no more sticky slushy,,"

Thank you''. He said softy turn to her and smile great full

she node and quickly left to her new class.. when the lunch bell ring ending..

sitting in the deck ignoring everyone, hope time will pass fast. yet fear clutch her heart, as soon she have to return home where her hell began.. she look outside inside the class window, she so tired of being alive..it getting harder to fake the lie. that she have told other..

one thing she knew. she a made a friend,could that be a good thing? she thought silence,, the bell ring it time to go home..

as she left. she felt her heart her was beating so hard in her chest like it want to escape..

passing the door quickly..not bother to look if she push anyone down..she doesn't care.. she need to get home before her father get there , she doesnt want to face him so soon..

she turn and turn around the damn the last block she ran out of breath but she went to her pocket and pull out her key and unlock the door..she scan the room making sure no one was in. nor she saw her dad car.

she sigh in content , she made it.. silence cleaning up the house. the kitchen and living room and the bathroom as fast as she can.. it took an hour but she did before her father come,,with that she went to her room and lock the door
..and put a chair to it so he can't force his way he come mad or drunk...

she went to her bed and start to do her homework.. and complete answer the question as the best she can.. scratching her head as soon she couldn't answer some the other work question.. but she glare at it.. she want to rip it apart but decide not too..

finishing with all she need to do.. .

she softy got off the bed and went to the mirror, and saw her reflection, they nothing special about them, so pale..pain fill her eye with such sadness that can make someone to worry.

but no one ever care, suicide is always on her mind, that could be the only way she can be free from those hand that make her bleed in the darkness.

struggling not to cry when it hurt so much to take, the memories of his face when he make her cry is such a disgust smirk.. she only live for his sick amusement..

she never try to act like nothing is wrong when she goes to the outside of her house, she never like everything is good..because it not.. she act if she was happy, they no point when all she felt was fear, and sorrow.

she doesn't have the strength to put on a perfect smile when all she was is to cry and ask for help.. but she did once ,but no one ever came to her cries..

someone when she look at he her eye they so dull and broken..it like they no life in them anymore..but today..today she felt a little happy.. even,,even if was just for a bit. she have smile and a true smile even if it was a small one..

she was happy..

sudden a loud slam sound came from downstairs as she froze in fear,,, he home

she turn to the clock in the wall and saw it was time.. but didn't dare move. she walk to her bed and closed her eye, hope her father wont come looking for her to tonight...

every time he hurt her badly ,he try to earn her trust only to crush her broken heart.. when she was 5 he brought a kitty doll, when he sent her to down the stair and broke her arm. he say it was her fault for being in the way.

it hurt. but she didn't go to the hospital.. when she was to school..she pretend to she fall down the stair when she went to the restroom.. that the only can ask for help.. but the nurse didn't do anything.. she say I need to be careful.. and look away..

in that moment i know i was alone.. . no one can help.. because no one belive me.

i grab my notebook and went to my bed and lay down begin to write... .. . ..

** why , you are so scared to leave

the safe of your room..

oh little one

why do u cry when you hear him come..?

why fear, when he home

because u know your sad fate

is such a sad life

don't move inch or he will break u once more..

everyday is the same

broken limbs, dark bruise cover and hidden

by clothes that is old

she nothing, not a worth a penny...she is nothing but a doll

no one hear her cries and pled for someone to come and save her

so scared to tell..

and more terrifying to move and make a sound

oh that will make him mad..

very mad, that

she will cry in fear

so hurt to trust and believe

so lost in the shadow of her pain

grief hold her broken heart that is worn out from

all lie that they have told many year..

she tired of everything, all she want is to be love.

but her fight and her strength is fade as time pass

the hope that she once have is vanished

and soon she cry once again all alone in her room.

i remember my old school

I was just a ghost

no on ever saw me..

if like I was never there..

I was alone.

the next morning Cynthia was standing looking in the small mirror, making sure they no mark that can be seen.. she woke up in pain.. but not too much.. she couldn't handle.

then she remember last night''

she didn't dare move, when he came for her, she will only feel excruciating pain when he leave her in her despair.

in her head all she can hear..''im worthless.'' over and over, she can feel her tear was dripped down her face, but didn't have the strength to wipe it away..she stay on the floor tired..

when he left the door slam.. she slowly got off the floor going to lock the door, making sure he can never come in..

she went to her bed as she sat down with her knee drawn to her chest as she stared at the empty wall..if u look really closer you can see her blood that spill when she have no more energy inside of her..

she never know how long she was on her bed but tonight it was cold ..she can feel her blood dripping down her cover body..but she know that , she can be there for soo long..forgetting the real world for a moment.

Cynthia whin soft as she struggle to get up..after failure for couple of time..she mange to get up walk slowly to her bathroom to clean up..she know her parent are sleeping so she safe for awhile..it was a good time to take a cold shower..

she stood in the shower for long time..making sure all the blood was wash away from her body and hair..

after making sure they no more blood she grab the shampoo and she wash it begun to sting..but she continue ..

with all that need to be clean she turn off the shower quickly got off .and ashamedly look at her body in the mirror..they no place where hand havn't hit her this time...

but she okay, like alway.. she softy smile to herself tired..

getting up for school, it so frustrated.. to pretend everything is alright,, and to think that you okay, even if u not.. it ridiculous and sad that people can not see she need help.. it just make her want to lay down and hide away in her room in the darkness.. where no one can ever hurt her again.. but that is just a mess up lied and false hope of a dream ,that have when she was just a child..

when she was done checked everything was in place.. her clothes fix good, no bruise show,

she decide to wear black shirt and black pant..she nothing good, it old but it clean. so that all it thought..as she walk out of room to downstairs slowly, trying to not make a lot of noise,,she doesn't want to face them right now.. she have no will power or the strength.

she walk to the kicten, everything is mess but she walk to fridge and grab apple, with that she walk out and left the house.

Cynthia grab her phone when she heard it ring,she paused surprise but then she remember she gave her number to Kurt, yesterday when they talk.. she check, she smile , so it was him.

''hey girl? where are you? need a ride... i heading to the school?

''well im at the store that is near the school that is four block away..

''okay wait im going there,''

ok.''

Cynthia stay where she was..waiting for Kurt..then she saw a black navigator, when she it, it stop next to her , she went to the passenger seat.. and smile to Kurt when he say hey..

''Thank for picking me Kurt!' as she got on the car

''it nothing..''

after parking the car, when they enter the school parking , they got off...when they enter the hallway , they walked to their locker,talking about music that they love to hear everyday..what can calm them..

when Kurt friends came, she know they were from glee club.. that Kurt love to be in..she love to sing..but she never will go there..or she also never told him that she can sing as well..hope it wont be mad..for not telling him softy.

cythia smile at and wave to Brittany and Tina, who have a confused of why she was here.. she look away turn to Kurt that she going..berfore kurt can say anything,she left quickly..

..

cynthia..went tired to her locky, this is the right thing to do..she thought..

she grab her mp3 that she work very hard for..she work around the neriborhood..she help them different people ,and they pay her to clean around they place or house..it something..at least she have some money for her self..,

she put her earphone on her to her locker..irnored Kurt worry stared..she walk a way when her head down..hope today will go faster..

lunch came. and the bell ring as all the student got up and left in a one look back as she got off her seat, slowly she left the room, wonder if she should go the library today as walking toward her locker, they stood Kurt..near her locker.

she saw Kurt notice her ,he smile as he walk to her,

''hey come on ' it time go.. im hungry Cynthia.. kurt said happy as they walk the hallway..passing people bye,,as they talk..

she nod adorable as they enter the caf ..they went to the line as they other join them..she smile at them as they try to add to their to talk...she saw Kurt smile happy that they did that..

she finally met Kurt best friends Mercedes,she have the same love of diva designer.. like him.

she smile she also very and nice.. she like her... maybe hanging out with them wont be too bad.. she thought.. as they finally got their food and went to an empty table.. the food wasnt too bad .as she laugh when kurt freinds make a joke.

the bell rang..

everyone went to their class..

the day went faster..soon the school was finsihed..everyone rush out the door wanting to go home or go somewhere... as she left the class she saw Kurt with his friends..

she wave good-bye.. but before she can leave he grab her hand... she froze.

before she know what happen she on Kurt car, and they going to the mall to shopped with all Kurt friends..

they pull up in the mall parking spot, as they got off the car..kurt practically start to skipped down the sidewalk.. grabbing her hand to pull her closered..

''omg girl, we going to have so much fun, we going to get a perfect outfit for us.. kurt said happy gleeful.

hmm Kurt? I don't have a lot of money.. i should..jus..

''noo you coming with me...okay? kurt said

after shopping the ride back to Kurt house, she need to be home.. but she couldnt say no to Kurt..

even..if she come home late, she might not be able to move for a long time.. she thought afraid.. or she be dead.. but at least for the frist she had a freind to hang out with..

she a a good day..she smile