THE THINGS WE LIVE FOR

A Star Trek: Voyager Novel

By KJaneway115

Acknowledgements

Many thanks

To all the VAMBies who have encouraged me to write and publish my stories

To my roommate for being willing to listen to me talk about this project for many months

To my sister and best friend who have always been supportive of my writing

And very special thanks to Mizvoy for being a wonderful, meticulous editor who is always willing to raise the difficult questions - for your patience and many hours of time spent editing, brainstorming and fact checking. Thank you for challenging me every day to become a better writer, and most of all, thank you for your friendship.

Disclaimer

Star Trek: Voyager and its characters and universe belong to Paramount. This story and the original characters within belong to me. No copyright infringement intended.

PROLOGUE

But Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

- William Shakespeare

Julius Caesar, Act III, scene ii

=/\=

High above the city of Sri'la, a lone figure stood, watching the lights of Br'nai's capitol sparkle in the night. The glow illuminated his silhouette and threw angular shadows across his face as he surveyed the city. Each light represented a living being, he thought, a pawn to be manipulated beneath his fingers. Lights flickered as ephemeral creatures arrived home, left their offices, fed their children, ate dinner with their spouses and turned in for the night, extinguishing their little, sparkling lights from existence. While they went about their meager lives, he waited. The course of history was about to change.

He stood, gazing out a large window on the top floor of the tallest building in the city, where he could see the entire metropolis stretched below him. He liked to imagine that somewhere, a citizen was standing on his roof, feeling insignificant and looking up, wondering about the identity of the robed figure who stood silhouetted in the window. He wore the traditional garb of his people - a long, black, hooded robe that tied around his neck and flowed around his lithe body. The hood was thrown back over his shoulders, and the robe gapped open in the front, revealing well-fitted black trousers and a loose black shirt.

Anticipation turned like a cyclone in the pit of his stomach, but his face remained calm, displaying none of the turmoil that raged inside of him. The only external sign of his nerves showed in the fingers of his left hand, which he subconsciously rubbed together. For years, he had dedicated his life to the achievement of this night; it had been his sole focus and goal. Now it had arrived and he would soon know if all the years behind him had been worth the effort.

The ding of a bell alerted him that someone was coming up in the lift, but as the lift doors whooshed open, he did not turn. Uneven footfalls clacked on the floor behind him, and he sensed the anxiety of his visitor. "Center yourself, Ril. It wouldn't do to have you trip and fall on a night like this, would it?" He still had not turned around, preferring to keep his eyes on the twinkling lights of the city as he pictured the minions whose lives he would soon control.

Behind him, the footsteps slowed and steadied. His visitor took a deep breath and then spoke in a shaky voice, "Master V'tan, the ballots have been counted."

"And?" His fingers stilled.

"Master Ch'a'fen has been elected emperor!" Ril beamed with excitement.

For the first time all day, V'tan allowed a small smile to grace his features. "Thank you, Ril. That is excellent news." He slowly turned to face the man who had spent countless hours working at his side over the past several months. Ril looked disheveled, but his eyes glowed with joy. Having not yet achieved the stature required to wear a long robe, Ril wore simple brown trousers and a light button down shirt of the same color. His curly brown hair looked like it was badly in need of a brush, and V'tan tried to suppress a bemused expression as he observed his assistant.

"Aren't you excited at all, Master V'tan? This is everything we've worked for!"

"Ril," he chided, "the work hasn't even begun."

"The Great Hall is already filled with reporters waiting to hear the new emperor's speech, and citizens are lined up around the block to try to see the emperor in person!"

"Very well," said V'tan, stepping towards the lift. With a sweep of his robe, he gestured for Ril to accompany him. Ril's jumpiness was beginning to affect him, and V'tan took a deep breath, focusing his thoughts and trying to calm Ril as well. When they exited the lift into the small, private room behind the Great Hall, however, Ril was anything but calm. V'tan tried to ignore his assistant's nervousness as he approached his childhood friend, the new emperor of Br'nai. Ch'a'fen was already dressed in the emperor's customary white garb. "My Emperor," V'tan said, dropping to one knee in a bow. Ril followed suit.

Ch'a'fen took his friend's hand and brought him to his feet. "You don't need to bow to me, old friend. This is your victory as much as mine." The two men embraced, and V'tan pulled back, holding his friend at arm's length.

"Do you have the speech memorized?" he asked. "Have you reviewed everything we discussed?"

The emperor nodded. "Has there ever been a time that I did not follow your advice? You are my guide, my counsel, my most trusted advisor. Now that I am ruler of Br'nai, I shall count on you more than ever."

V'tan bowed his head. "I will serve you to the best of my ability, old friend." He glanced towards the door to the Great Hall where he could hear the noise of anxious reporters awaiting the new emperor. "Go! I will be right behind you." As he followed Ch'a'fen into the Hall, he smiled to himself. Poor Ch'a'fen, he thought. So naive. Keep thinking that it is I who serve you, my dear Emperor. In reality, it is you who will serve me.

They emerged from the antechamber into a hullaballoo of reporters clamoring for a statement. Ch'a'fen held up one hand, refusing to say a word until the reporters quieted. "You will hear what I have to say when I deliver my speech to the Br'nai people. This is their night, not yours." This statement sent the reporters into a tizzy as they hurried to document the new emperor's every word. A female reporters swooned and had to be supported by one of her colleagues. She wrote for a magazine geared towards Br'nai women who stayed at home with their families. She, along with most of the women who read her magazine, thought that the new emperor was positively dreamy.

A podium had been erected in the center of the Great Hall where the newly chosen emperor traditionally made his speech to the reporters and cameras. Ch'a'fen stepped up to the podium and informed the reporters, "I will make my speech to the people directly. You may accompany me to the balcony if you would like to hear it."

The reporters became flustered. For almost two hundred years, the newly elected emperor had spoken from a podium in the Great Hall - a speech that was then transmitted to the Br'nai people through various imaging devices. No one had ever made a speech directly to the people from the Great Hall's balcony. But before anyone could object, the emperor was walking towards the exterior. V'tan leered as he watched the reporters' reaction to Ch'a'fen's change of tradition. As the emperor stepped outside onto the terrace, V'tan felt a gust of cold night air, and a rush of adrenaline coursed through his body. Ch'a'fen looked back at him and he nodded. Go on. You know the words, V'tan thought.

Ch'a'fen closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and opened them again to see the crowd that had gathered around the central government building. Br'nai citizens filled the courtyard and beyond; the throng extended as far as the eye could see. They clamored for attention, some demanding a speech and others shouting, "Emperor Ch'a'fen!" He raised his hand and the crowd fell silent.

"Citizens of Br'nai," Ch'a'fen's sonorous voice boomed over the crowd, "I greet you as your new emperor, and I am honored by your choice. Thank you." The sea of faces below him let out a loud cheer, and he waited for the ovation to cease before continuing. "This is a great night in the history of Br'nai. For too long, our leaders forced our world into seclusion, hiding our many talents and gifts from the rest of the galaxy. They held us back from progress. They held us back from greatness. They held us back from power. But, my friends, those days are at an end!" A roar emerged from the crowd, and this time, Ch'a'fen had to wait longer for them to quiet.

"Gone are the days of oppression for those who disagree with our government's policies. There will be no more witch hunts, no more violence, and no more repression of progressive ideas. I will usher in a new era for our people, an era in which our greatness will no longer be hidden, an era in which our talents will thrive and we will reach our highest potential." A few citizens started applauding, but Ch'a'fen continued, "As we form new allies and extend our influence beyond the sphere of our own world for the first time in centuries, the Br'nai will rise swiftly. We will gain the respect of new allies, and soon Federation, Ferengi, Cardassian and Romulan citizens alike will look to us for guidance."

The emperor paused, strategically changing his tone as V'tan had instructed him, making it more personable and lowering his voice. "Citizens of Br'nai, it is you who have made this happen. Your dedication to our principles, your courage and your tenacity have made this day possible. You have withstood terrible trials; you joined our cause for freedom when we most needed you. It is you who must take the credit for this great change in our history. I am merely your servant, and I will carry your will across the quadrant!" Another huge cheer emerged from the citizens below. Some chanted the emperor's name while others whooped and hollered.

"I am humbled by your faith in me, and I will hold as sacred the trust with which you have endowed me. I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to protect the interests of Br'nai for as long as you allow me to serve you." Thunderous applause rang out, cutting Ch'a'fen off once again. "This is a great moment for our people," he continued when the crowd quieted. "It is a day for the history books, one our world will always remember. Never forget that you made it happen, my fellow citizens. On this day a new era for Br'nai begins. A new Br'nai! From this day on!"

Applause and cheers erupted from the crowd and the emperor waved to his people, flashing his dazzling smile. At a silent signal from V'tan, he stepped off the balcony, while, behind him, the crowd chanted, "A new Br'nai!" and "Emperor Ch'a'fen!"

V'tan stood silently by his side as Ch'a'fen answered questions from reporters. "Emperor Ch'a'fen, what will be your first act as emperor?" one asked.

"To repeal the Isolationist Act," he replied immediately. The reporters scribbled furiously on their tablets, documenting his every word.

"But we've lived in peace under the Isolationist Act for two hundred years!" another reporter protested. "How will you ensure the safety of our people once we begin to allow alien cultures to influence us?"

"Br'nai has atrophied under the Isolationist Act. There was good reason for it two hundred years ago, but now, the quadrant has moved beyond such things. There is a Federation of Planets that includes hundreds of worlds, all living in peace and cooperation. We have limited our growth as a race and culture by prohibiting contact with outsiders. The days of stagnation are over. It is time to move forward."

"How will you maintain the purity of the Br'nai race?" the reporter shot back.

"Get off it, T'chad!" another reporter shouted. "Everyone knows that the Sri'la Times is stuck in the past. Your regime lost. You had your heyday. Now it's our turn!"

"Yeah!" yelled another reporter. The reporters all began to shout at each other, and the press conference quickly dissolved into mayhem.

"Stop!" shouted V'tan in a booming voice. Everyone in the room silenced immediately, staring at him. "This is your emperor. Give him your respect." V'tan glared at the reporters and they bowed their heads in chagrin. "This press conference is over. You are all dismissed." Any protest the reporters might have made was silenced by the looming presence of the Emperor's Royal Guard, and the reporters slinked out of the Hall.

Ch'a'fen breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

V'tan nodded as they retreated to the private chamber behind the Great Hall, Ril following them like a puppy dog. "You may leave us, Ril," V'tan dismissed him, and Ril bowed and left the room.

In private, the formalities of rank had no place between the two men, and V'tan put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Congratulations."

For being the oldest of friends, the two men could not have appeared more different. V'tan's hair was long and dark, and his eyes were a silvery grey - a shade so light that some thought his eyes had no color at all. It was an unusual trait for a Br'nai and had set V'tan apart from his youth. He was tall and lithe, his body well built, but not overly muscular. Ch'a'fen, on the other hand, was short and stocky, with muscles built strong over the years by playing sports and lifting weights. His short blonde hair fell over his black eyes in curly tendrils. Since childhood, Ch'a'fen had been the more emotionally transparent of the two.

"We did it!" he exclaimed, trying in vain to keep his excitement in check. "We did it! The sleepless nights, the protests, the pamphlets - it was all worth it. I can hardly believe we've finally succeeded. Can you?"

V'tan allowed himself a small chuckle. "Of course I can. I always knew we would."

"I hoped. I prayed. Oh how I prayed that our sacrifice would not be in vain - your sacrifice most of all, my friend."

"Yes," V'tan agreed darkly.

"No one has worked harder for this moment than you have, V'tan. I know that more than anyone."

"Now we have to ensure that all our hard work was worth it." V'tan poured two glasses of tirin from a crystal decanter, holding one and handing the other to his friend. He raised his glass towards Ch'a'fen. "To a new world. A world that is ours to create."

"A new world," Ch'a'fen echoed as they drank. V'tan had always been like a brother to him; he had no siblings since Br'nai couples were only able to conceive one child. Although the two men were the same age and had grown up going to school together, V'tan had always seemed to be the older one, and Ch'a'fen had relied on his guidance since they were boys. "How did I do tonight?"

"The speech was masterfully given. You have no cause for concern."

"You don't think anyone will suspect that the words were not my own?"

"I don't think anyone expects you to write your own speeches. You are the emperor now; you have more important things to do."

Ch'a'fen sighed, sitting in one of the plush chairs that furnished the room which was now his private office. "I wish I could be as confident as you are, Tan, as certain about things. I wish I could write like you."

V'tan smiled as his friend used his boyhood name. According to Br'nai custom, men and women added syllables to their name as they reached a higher social stature, but the two friends continued to call each other by their childhood names when they were alone. "Fen, no one will care if I wrote your speech tonight. What they saw on the balcony was a confident emperor who is going to change our way of life for the better."

This cheered Ch'a'fen and he smiled, downing the rest of his drink. "Yes. Yes, that is exactly what we're doing - what we've always dreamed of doing."

V'tan finished his drink and left the emperor alone. It was only as he unlocked the door of his apartment and stepped inside that he let the mask of control fall from his face as he leaned against the doorframe. The entryway to his apartment was dark, and the hallway felt cold. On tonight of all nights, Ky'len should have been here to greet him, a warm cup of tirin in her hands, her long hair cascading down her shoulders and her bright green eyes staring up into his, filled with love and trust.

V'tan blinked back tears and pushed his emotions away. It had been five years since his wife's death, but every day, he suffered from her absence. Before she had died, his life had been filled with joy, even on the most difficult days. When his work had consumed him, she had gently taken his hand and reminded him that there was more to life than politics. But with her gone, he had become obsessed with one thing and one thing only - crushing the old regime and bringing himself and Ch'a'fen to power.

A hot fire rose in his belly as he remembered his wife's emerald eyes, wide with agony, as she lay on the Federation biobed. "How could we have known?" the Starfleet doctors had said. "We did everything we could to save her." The Starfleet captain had been no better. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Master V'tan." Sorry? He was sorry? The captain hadn't been the one to lose his wife because of the ignorance an alien people. The worst of it was that it hadn't only been Ky'len he had lost. The night before the Federation ship had arrived, the couple had celebrated the news that she was pregnant with their only child. V'tan tried not to remember; the images made him sick to his stomach.

He kicked off his boots and removed the cape that still hung around his shoulders. He walked down the darkened hallway through the kitchen, where he stood at the large, translucent doors to his balcony, looking out at the city lights. He could see the Great Hall from the apartment; it was one of the reasons he and Ky'len had chosen this location, so they would never forget what they were fighting for. Ky'len again. Why could he not eliminate her from his thoughts completely? He slammed his palm against the door and felt a small jolt of pain run up his arm. Taking a deep breath, he looked at the Hall and forced his thoughts away from his late wife and unborn child.

The day had gone as well as he had hoped. Ch'a'fen's election, his speech, the stunt with the balcony - the corners of V'tan's lips curled into a smile as he remembered the new emperor reciting his words, the cheers erupting from the crowd because of what he, V'tan, had said and done. The people had reacted exactly as he had anticipated. They were suitably in awe of their new emperor and exhibited the utmost confidence in him.

He watched the glittering lights of the capitol as they shimmered, and suddenly he let out a harsh laugh. Tonight was the night he had worked for all those years. Perhaps the sacrifices he had made had been worth it - even Ky'len's death might derive some meaning from this. He had an entire planet at his fingertips; soon he would have the entire quadrant. All he had to do was say the word, and his will would be done. No, it was better than that. All he had to do was think a thought, and his will would be carried out by others. His plan would be unstoppable before anyone even realized what was happening.

Since their youth, V'tan and Ch'a'fen had fought against the isolationist policies of their leaders. Together, they had championed a rebellion against a centuries-old fear of outsiders. Their battle had taken its toll; many lives had been lost, but finally, tonight, they had won true victory. Now, they controlled the Br'nai government. Silently, V'tan vowed that no one else would ever again dictate what he could or could not do. Never again would someone else determine his destiny. Never again would he lose someone he loved because of others' ignorance or stupidity. From now on, he would be the one controlling the destinies of others.

He would ensure that Br'nai would be recognized as a warp capable civilization and earn the attention of the Federation - the mighty and arrogant Federation. If only they had been willing to step in and assist the Br'nai resistance all those years ago, so many lives could have been spared. But Starfleet had turned him away in his greatest hour of need, and as a result, many more lives had been lost, starting with Ky'len's. Now, the Federation would pay for its lack of vision.

V'tan stepped onto his balcony, bracing himself against the cold night air. He turned his gaze away from the capitol building and upwards, towards the distant Federation. No longer will we live in isolation, he thought, held back from our potential. No longer am I at the mercy of another's will. Others will no longer decide whether my wife lives or dies, who will be my allies, what paths will be open to me. From now on, I make my own path. His teeth began to show as his smile widened, his silver eyes glinting in the moonlight. No, I am no longer at your mercy, he thought towards his own people and towards the distant stars of the Federation. Soon, you will be at mine.