The Jersey
She liked wearing his clothes – or, to be more specific, she liked wearing his shirts. When Nora had done the laundry for the day and left it drying on the lines in the basement, she would creep downstairs without making any noise to inspect what shirts of his were newly washed. It was easier to tell what was his now that Derek was off at college and Edwin had developed his own sense of style.
Lizzie fingered a few wet cotton t-shirts before her hand drifted onto a different fabric. She raised her eyebrows, perplexed that Nora had washed it. Edwin's season wasn't over yet; his team was definitely going to make the play-offs, and he was at practice every day, so he should have been wearing his jersey.
The red and white jersey slipped off the line into a mushy pile of fabric on the floor. Lizzie snatched it up and pressed her hands against the nylon, the material much more dry than Edwin's other shirts. This would have to do. With excitement, she yanked off her t-shirt and slipped the jersey over her head. She had never worn his jersey before – she felt like a little girl coming across her sister's secret diary. It was forbidden and yet so inviting, and deep down inside Lizzie felt that Edwin probably wouldn't care. He never passed remarks when she wore some of his other shirts.
She relished the clean smell of the fabric softener. She loved the wall it fell down to just above her knees. She couldn't believe how baggy it was; she could swim in the fabric. Lizzie paused, holding the edge of the jersey away from her body. Since when had any of his shirts been so large on her? The giant black 12 faced her, Edwin's number and one of six that were normally seen on the field when the defense was needed. She supposed it was because it was football jersey, and he had to wear all of that extra gear underneath his uniform.
Or maybe it was because…Lizzie flushed, trying to force her mind in another direction, but it went where it wasn't supposed to go anyway. Maybe his football jersey was so large because Edwin had gotten larger – but not in the sense that he had grown fat. He had become more muscular. Everyone in their family had noticed that he had bulked up over the summer, and it wasn't until football tryouts in the fall that they realized why Edwin had spent the early hours of every morning of his summer pumping iron. It surprised George and Nora that he had made the team, it surprised Derek that Edwin had even been allowed near the tryouts, and it surprised Casey that her parents had allowed Edwin to play a sport when he wasn't achieving great grades in school. Only Lizzie and Marti had responded well; Marti was excited – she loved watching contact sports. And Lizzie couldn't wait to hang around after school for practice, lounging around on the bleachers and wasting her time between homework and checking out the quarterback.
But it didn't work out exactly like Lizzie hoped it would – because, while the quarterback was quite attractive, she found herself eyeing a certain defenseman wearing a jersey with the number 12 blazoned tightly across his chest. At first she hadn't known it was Edwin's number; she was never close enough to the field to hear the coach talking to the players and addressing them by numbers and Edwin always had his uniform off once practice finished. She found out the practice he took his helmet off – she almost died when she realized that player she had deemed "handsome" was her step-brother.
Car rides home became awkward; she would sit next to Edwin, sifting through the soft rock stations (it was either that or country, and Edwin despised country) while trying not to glance at him. He would have his sunglasses on and the window rolled down, no matter the temperature, his head tilted towards the window as he viewed the outside world. He never said a word to her until they pulled into the driveway; he would pass a comment or two, maybe even a snide remark or joke, and then be off to his room to do who knows what.
Lizzie was always left with a feeling of disappointment. Things had changed between them after Derek and Casey had gone off to college and Edwin had joined the football team; they stopped spending a lot of time together and now they didn't talk much anymore. The McDonald-Venturi "Partners in Crime" weren't partners anymore and the game closet remained empty of life except when Marti entered it to find something to entertain her friends with. When Edwin wasn't at practice he was in his room, passed out from exhaustion, or with friends or lounging on the couch with George. When she wasn't doing work Lizzie was helping Nora around the house or driving Marti places or on the phone in her room, chatting with friends. They didn't seem to fit into each other's lives anymore.
A sad feeling wound its way around Lizzie's heart; she bit her lower lip and tried to push it away, but she couldn't deny what was true. They had become strangers in their own home, sharing no more than a few quick glances that always left Lizzie's heart pounding and Edwin apathetic. Perhaps one of the reasons why she pulled away from her step-brother was – and she hated admitting it, because even though they were step-siblings it was supposed to be wrong – the feelings she was developing for him. Lizzie didn't quite have a "crush" on Edwin – but it was heading there and the sight of his muscular form in a football uniform didn't make anything better.
She heard footsteps on the wooden floor above her head. "Lizzie?" Marti's voice drifted through the open cellar door; shaking thoughts from her head, Lizzie sprinted up the staircase and came face-to-face her step-sister. Behind her stood Nora and George, coats on.
"Why are you wearing Edwin's jersey?" Marti asked, eyeing her step-sister with curiosity and mischief glinting in her brown orbs. Lizzie chose to ignore her.
"You guys going out?" she asked her parents. It was a Wednesday night; Nora and George often stayed in on the weekends.
"Tonight is Parent-Student-Teacher Conference Night at Marti's school," George replied. "Your mother and I have the immense pleasure of spending several hours listening to Marti's teachers talk to us about her progress in school." Lizzie grinned at his sarcasm as Nora whacked him in the arm.
She rolled her eyes as she turned her attention to her daughter. "We'll be gone for a few hours. I left dinner in the oven. There should be enough for you and Edwin, if he comes home for dinner."
"If?" Her confusion was not mixing well with the quickened speed of her heart. "Why wouldn't he becoming home?"
"He might go out with the team!" Marti interjected. Nora closed her mouth, raising her eyebrows at her step-daughter's rude interruption.
"Oh. Well, fine then. Go have fun and I'll eat dinner and enjoy having the house to myself for once. Thanks, Mom." She kissed her mother on the cheek.
"Lucky," George muttered under his breath. Lizzie shot him a grin.
The front door closed with a slam and Lizzie stood still, listening to the distant ticking of the upstairs clock. No parents, no sisters, no brothers. It was very rare these days that she got to enjoy an empty house – even without Derek and Casey living home. The digital clock on the DVD player announced that it was after seven and an empty tummy prompted Lizzie to eat.
Hot air rushed out at her face as she opened the oven door – vegetable lasagna. Lizzie smiled; she loved when Nora remembered to respect her vegetarian stance. Placing an oven mitt on her hand, Lizzie grabbed the steaming lasagna from the oven and placed it on the kitchen island. She cast a forlorn look into the dining room with its seven empty seats before retrieving silverware, a plate, and a glass of milk and then sitting on the stool.
A key turned in the lock and she stopped, a piece of vegetable lasagna half-way to her mouth. Footsteps echoed on the wood floor, a thump similar to that of a bag of equipment was dropped somewhere near the door, and then Edwin's figure filled the entranceway to the kitchen. He leaned against the doorway, whipping his forehead with the bottom of his white t-shirt, the expression on his face tired. His dark eyes scanned her face and then their surroundings as he shifted onto his other leg and dug his hand into his pockets.
Nothing was said, and then –
"Thanks for waiting."
Lizzie shot him a look and put her fork down. "Marti said you weren't coming home."
He inched his wave over to the cabinets to get his own plate. "Everyone's too tired to go out. We're going to wait until after the game Saturday." He fished through the drawer for a fork. "You coming?"
"Maybe."
Silence fell over the kitchen following her one-word response. Edwin sat across from her, scooped himself same lasagna, and dug in. He made a face upon realizing that it was vegetarian, but he said nothing and continued to chew quietly. Lizzie finished her meal, glancing subtly at Edwin every few seconds. Once finished she took her dish to the sink and began to wash it. She was digging threw her mind for something to say that would cut the almost-tangible silence when an odd sensation sent a chill up her spine.
Lizzie glanced over her shoulder. Edwin's dark eyes were on her.
She flushed, pushing a strand of her light brown hair behind her ear. "Yeah?" she asked. "Something up?"
Edwin titled his head to the side, chewing his lasagna thoughtfully. "You look like you fell out of the eighties or something."
Confusion washed momentarily over Lizzie until she put her hands on her hips and recalled that she was wearing leggings and his football jersey. "What do you know about pop culture?"
"Not much." He stood, bringing his plate to the sink. He glanced down at her; she went a darker shade of red under his stare. "You look cute in my jersey." The plate clinked against the sink and Edwin turned, lumbering off in the direction of the couch.
Her heart soaring, Lizzie rushed to finish washing the dishes. Mind full of ideas sparked by Edwin's compliment, she raced into the den. Edwin was sprawled on the couch, his eyes staring blandly at some reality show on the television. She yanked the remote from his hand and shut off the television; Edwin blinked lethargically and turned his head to look at her, his eyebrows raised.
"What did you do that for?"
Lizzie blanked for a second. "Um…well, I thought…maybe we could do something fun. Together."
Edwin's eyebrows went higher as he shifted into a sitting position. "We do stuff together all the time."
"No we don't." She paused, gathering her courage. "Not anymore. We don't even really talk anymore, Edwin. You could at least give me an hour or something."
"We do talk." Edwin's expression was a mixture of confusion and mild annoyance. "Why don't you think we talk anymore?"
"Because we don't. You don't make time for me anymore since you joined the football team. I know you always go out with those guys all the time. We're the same age. You could ask me if I want to go with you. I'd come. C'mon, it's a football team!"
Edwin had managed to keep an apathetic reaction to her mini-rant, but her mentioning of her desire to party with the football team made his eyebrows furrow. He opened and closed his mouth several times, keeping his eyes away from her before muttering, in a low voice, "You don't want to hang out with them."
"Really? How come?"
"Because." He twisted his hands together. "I don't want you near them, Lizzie. They say things about you because, you know, they see you. Sitting on the bleachers, you know, and they say stuff. I don't like it. It bothers me, and…" He struggled for a moment. "It's nothing bad…you'd probably like it, but…I don't, and…just no. Look, I'm sorry if I've been distant lately. Let's do something."
She wasn't sure what to make of what Edwin had said. It was half a compliment – members of his team seemed to be interested in her. But something about the way he had said he disapproved of it bothered her. She wasn't sure what to think of it – she knew what she wanted to think of it, but she figured she was probably very off. "Alright. What should we do?"
Edwin shrugged. "T.V., video games, an actual board game…"
"That'll work!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Anything you want to play in particular?"
Edwin shook his head and she turned, rushing up the stairs. The game closet stood at the far end of the hallway, its door closed and light off as it waited in silence for someone to come inside. Lizzie approached it with reverence; much had happened in that game closet. The memories swarmed her mind as she touched the handle and turned on the light. Stacks of games that she hadn't looked at in years greeted her with familiarity as she began to scan the titles, trying to decided what would be best as a two-player game.
The door clicked closed behind her and the light went out; Lizzie let out a low shriek as she turned around to find herself face-to-face with Edwin's chest. He shushed her, one hand on her waist and the other pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. She could make out his face in the darkness; the whites of his eyes stood out with a light glow and, as always, they were apathetic.
Lizzie wanted to questions his motives – she thought she could guess what he was going to do, but she didn't want to believe it. They were step-siblings, they lived under the same roof, there was no way that their parents would ever approve, no way that anyone they knew would understand, it was against the social norm, and yet Lizzie wanted it. She wanted it more than she knew she should – it was Edwin. Silly, Derek-follower Edwin. Handsome, quiet Edwin. He wasn't the moron he used to be.
When he kissed her there wasn't an electric jolt coursing from her body to his or fireworks exploding behind her eyelids. But she felt her knees go weak, she felt her hands drifting up his back, she felt totally lost in the feeling of his soft lips against hers. Her back pushed against Yahtzee and Scrabble and Monopoly and Clue, Lizzie kissed her step-brother Edwin with more fervor than she had ever kissed a boy in her life. Something felt right. Kissing him made sense.
Edwin pulled back. He stroked her cheek gently in the dark as she tried to catch her breath – she had never felt so winded in her life. Without a word he turned, light streaming into the closet as he stepped through the frame. Glancing back at her, Edwin gave Lizzie the smallest smile and said,
"I need that back for Saturday, but once the season's done you can wear it all you want. My jersey really does look good on you."
She tried to think of something to say, but her mind wasn't functioning properly and the grin on her face was so large that she figured she should just remain silent. Nodding furiously, Lizzie grabbed a pack of cards off of the lower shelf and raced after Edwin, expecting to enjoy more than just playing a round of cards.
A/N: Well, how was that for my first attempt at a Life With Derek fanfiction? I've always wanted to write a Lizwin but only recently decided to give it a real shot. Hopefully everyone enjoyed the story - they might seem out of character, but remember: they are older, so their personalities would have likely changed.
Thanks for reading and please review!