He Didn't Know
Author's Note: Just a short one shot. My friend and me were wondering why some people were put in Gryffindor and this is what we came up with. Takes place sixth year.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Don't sue.
(On With The Story)
He didn't know when it started. He didn't know how it started. How he had started thinking about his friend, in more than a friendly way. He wished he knew when the dreams had started. It was hard for him to look at all his friends and act normal when inside he was going crazy from hiding what was going on inside him.
He didn't want to be different. He hated having people talk about him already, he couldn't imagine what would happen if people found out what was going on. If people knew what was going on in his head, he'd never live it down. His family would disown him. They'd treat him like the blacks treated the people who went against him.
He wished he could stop it. That he could go back in time and stop himself from feeling the way he did. The problem was, he didn't know when it started, and he had no idea how to stop the way he felt. How can a person stop something that they didn't see coming, that when it started happening, felt perfectly natural. He would give anything to feel normal again. To feel like he fit in with all his friends, but he knew he could never feel that way again.
He groaned and threw himself on his bed. If only he could stop having the dreams he was having. He'd give anything to go through the night without being plagued by his dreams. Dreams of soft lips, silky hair, and bright shining eyes, eyes that he saw on a daily basis, and if he left himself could lose himself in; eyes he knew he shouldn't lose himself in; eyes he knew he couldn't lose himself in.
"Help me," he muttered into his pillow.
He didn't know what to do. He felt as if his mind and life was spiraling out of control. After suppressing how he felt for months, he felt as if he was going crazy. He knew he couldn't tell anyone how he felt, but he also knew he couldn't hide it anymore. He didn't know what to do.
His friends would abandon him if they knew the truth. He had no doubt about it, they were turn away in disgust as soon as they found out about his dreams, and the one person he cared about most would never speak to him again. He couldn't handle losing everyone he cared about over something like this.
He knew he couldn't control what was happening anymore than he could figure out when it started. He just wish he knew he wasn't the only one going through what he was going through, but he was pretty sure he was. No one else in the school could know how he felt. If they did then he wouldn't feel so alone and frightened though. He was terrified what would happen if his family even so much as guessed to why he had trouble sleeping over the summer. He didn't know what he would do if he lost his family. He complained about them a lot but he loved them more than anything else in the world. His family kept him safe, and loved, and he wouldn't be able to live without them. He couldn't bring them more shame after what his brother had done. He would have to keep his feelings to himself longer.
"Hey, Ron are you okay?" a voice asked from the doorway, and he looked up from his bed to see Neville standing there.
"Yeah Neville, I'm fine," he said softly.
"Are you sure," Neville said coming over to sit beside him.
"I just said I was didn't I," Ron said crossly and Neville nodded.
"Just wondering, I thought you'd be freaked out after last night," Neville said lightly.
"What?" Ron asked confused.
"Well I was up late reading, and I kind of heard you," he said.
"Heard me what?"
"Your dream Ron, trust me, your not a quiet dreamer," Neville told him.
He felt his face go white as chalk. He didn't know what to say or how to react. He had been found out. His secret wasn't his own anymore! He had no doubt that Neville would tell the others if they asked him. He wasn't very good at keeping a secret.
"I'm not?" he asked nervously.
"No, you're not," Neville said softly. "But don't worry, you're the not only one to have had a dream like that."
"What?" Ron asked.
"Ron, haven't you guessed. I thought everyone knew," Neville said. "I am too."
Ron felt his eyes go wide with shock. Of all people he suspected it wouldn't have been quiet, calm Neville Longbottom. He didn't know what to say in response to Neville's revelation and Neville seemed to know it because he just smiled at him and walked out the room. He fell back onto his bed and let his mind wander. He sighed and felt a small smile cross his features.
Yes, he was Ron Weasley, and he was in love with his best friend, who just happened to be a guy. Yes, he was Ron Weasley, and he was in love with Harry Potter, the Golden Boy, The-Boy-Who-Lived. He was in love with his straight best friend. And he didn't know how he was going to get over the fact. He didn't know how he was going to keep it a secret, and he didn't even know he wanted to keep it a secret. But at least now he knew he wasn't alone. He could talk to someone about how he felt. Ron Weasley felt a good deal better than he had when he'd woken up from his lasted dream. He was Ron Weasley, and he was gay, and he didn't know whether or not he was going to be accepted or not, but now he had a friend who wouldn't abandon him when the others found out.
(End Story)
Author's Note: Ok, I'm not sure I like the ending but my friend and I decided on this one night. You see, I was wondering why Ron was placed in Gryffindor. I mean, yeah he helps Harry out, but how brave is he, really? I also noticed that he seems to pout when Harry hangs out with others, so I was like, what emotional problems would make someone brave and the best I could come up with was, Admitting to others you were gay and dealing with homophobia. And then I asked her about it, and this is what we came up with. Thank you Jodie for all your help on this.
Thanks for Reading.