It was a cold, lonely, Saturday morning, and Germany was bored. He's been awfully bored since after the divorce... He looked over to his one & only companion, a cute garden gnome called Winklebottom. He smiled faintly. Winklebottom could never leave him. With that thought in mind, Germany became overwhelmed with emotion. He was very sensitive after Italy broke his heart exactly 5 times.
Germany slowly picked up Winklebottom in his hand, love in his heart, and sniffed the gnome in adoration. He loved Winklebottom's smell. Germany gently felt Winklebottom's sharp, red hat. Germany then got an idea. An idea of how to show Winklebottom how much he loved him.
Germany delicately rolled off his green military pants, and stared at Winklebottom lovingly as he fondled his own poopshoot. He quickly grabbed the gnome and shoved the tip of his hat right into his asshole. Germany pounded his own anus with the gnome's hat, moaning as it sliced the soft skin by his prostate.
When he was done aggressively fucking himself with a garden gnome, he went to the hospital because he gave himself an anal hemorrhoid. THE END :^)