Title: Die, fools! The everyday life of Albel and Fayt.

Authors: YamiHaruka, LeiserTod

Pairing: (if you haven't already noticed) AlbelxFayt (among maaaany others...;)

Disclaimer: Of course. We didn't own anything. If we did, it would've been a yaoi-game otherwise...All belongs to triAce. Dammit. Still, the priest, the wind and Someone - ours!!! ;D

Warnings: humour. Yeah, can be...dangerous.

Translation by: LeiserTod

A/N: If you wondered why this FF is written in such a bad language - never mind. Translation from German into English. We tried, really.

Well, beware.

Don't press too often on your controller

Albel. "Do you hate me?"
Fayt. "..." (stares at Albel)
Albel. "Do you HATE me?!"
Fayt. "..." (gesticulates wildly)
Albel. "What?!"
Fayt. "..." (makes an umistakable movement)
Albel. "Ah. So, you want me to fuck you?"
Fayt. "..." (cries)
Albel. "Okay, you didn't want it the friendly way!!!" (drags Fayt off into a cave)
Fayt. "..." (still cries)

By: LeiserTod

24.07.2006

Characters: Fayt, Albel, Nel, Cliff

#group enters prison of Airyglyph#
#Fayt sees Albel chained to the wall#
Cliff: "Hey Fayt, what's up?"
Fayt: "Uuh, nothing."
Nel: "You look ... worried."
Fayt: "Yeah, yeah ... worried. Maybe that's the right word ..."
#Cliff watches Fayt sceptically and takes at a certain body part of his ... err ... a closer look#
Cliff: "Hey Nel, I think ... Fayt wants to be alone some time ... because of some ... chitchat ... with ... Albel ..."
Nel: "You think -" Cliff takes Nel by the hand and leaves the cell
Nel: "What's the matter, Cliff? He didn't -"
Cliff: "Shht. Stop talking and listen carefully!"
#noise of rattling chains#
#some ... err ... other noise ... made by persons#
#and so on ...door is being opened#
#an very content looking Fayt comes out... with ... err ... ruffled hair#
Cliff: "And, were your talking successfull?"
Fayt: "Ooooooouhh yeah ..."
#and with that Fayt leaves#
#Nel stares at his retreating form#
Nel: "What they were talking about!?"
Cliff: "Ah, he only wanted to know, why he's called "Albel - the WICKED" ..."
#goes away und leaves a confused Nel behind#
Nel: "???"
#opens the door and takes a look inside#
Nel: "..."
#closes it again#
#blushes ... and decides to become a temple maiden#

By: YamiHaruka

28.07.2006

Characters: Someone, Albel

Someone: "It's your FATE."
Albel: "My ... fate?"
Someone: "Didn't I say that?"
Albel is running Fate
Albel: "He said, that you're mine!!"
#Albel totally happy grabs Fate and never lets him go#
And if Albel didn't use the wrong hand (cough namely that gauntlet of his), then Fayt didn't stand a chance to free himself. They lived "in happiness" forever.

By: YamiHaruka

Characters: Albel, Fayt, Nel

Fayt (comes with that bitch to the group): "Err, here is a new...err...person..."
Albel (snorts): "Eugh! Just look! Her skirt is PINK!"
The bitch (slaps Albel): "Fuck off, Fatefucker!!!"
Albel (to Fayt): "YOU! You...you talked with her about our sex life?! How could you?!"
Fayt (doesn't dare to look at Albel): "Me sorry...but I needed some..advices...regarding...uhm, chains..."
Albel (slaps Fayt): "Fool! I could tell you EVERYTHING! about those fucking chains!!! I hate you." (goes away)
Fayt (stares at the retreating form): "Oooh, goood! What have I done? And what about my sexual tension now?!" (falls to the knees - arms stretched toward Albel - the sun is slowly sinking): "Aaaaalbeeell!!! Come baaack!"

By: LeiserTod

#Albel looks down to Fayt#

Albel: "Maggot."
Fayt: "Bean pole."
Albel: #nasal# "Ha, therefore I'm lighter and skinnier, fool." #places triumphantly his hands on the hips#
Fayt: "At least my hips are better to bear children." #nose high in the air#
Albel: "!?"
Fayt: "Ha, now you're speechless." #with that Fayt leaves#

By: YamiHaruka

Too thin?

Characters: Albel, Wind

Albel: "Wind, you worm! You've blown me away! What the fuck?!"
Wind: "Hohohohoho..."
Albel: "Take me back on earth this instant, or I'll...!!!"
Wind: "Hohohohoho...youuuu caaaan't dooo anyythiiing too meeee..."
Albel (helplessly flying)): "Argh! You'll pay for that!"
Wind: "Heheheheeee...nooo waaaaayyy..."
Albel: "Hmpf. You're not a challenge for me! Take that!" (pokes sun with katana. sun goes away.) "HA! No sun, no wind!!!"
Wind: "Noooooo, hhoooow couuuuld youuuuu...!" (dies down.)
Albel: "Fool." (looks down. dinstance to earth: aproximately 98,9 metres.) "Oh hit...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

and the moral? eat more.

By: LeiserTod

Albel (cackles evilfully): "You'll die now! I'll kill you, maggot! Fear my power!"
Maggot (looks up): #burp#
Albel (after a short schock): "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

By: LeiserTod

Characters: Cliff, Albel

Cliff (stamps on the ground): "Where is this show-off who's cruisin' for a bruisin'?! I'll fucking make smashing potatous out of him!!!"
...somewhere under Cliff's left little toe: "Here...(panting)...I'm here...you...maggooot..."
Cliff (apologetic): Oh, me sorry. No offense. You okay? (helps to stand)
Albel (smiling): "None taken. Oh and I'm Albel. I'm here to kill you."
Cliff: "argl..." (chokes, gasps - Albels hair round his neck is fucking tight)

By: LeiserTod

Characters: Albel, Fayt, Someone

Albel (is being throttled effectively by Someone, gasps, head is flying from one side to the other): „let...me..gooo...foool..."
Fayt (comes hopping from somewhere): „Hey! What the fuck! Let him go! Or you'll die!" (draws his sword)
Albel (comes slowly round, since Someone – scared by the sudden appearance of Fayt – let him go): „Take this thing from my face! Do you want to kill me?!"
Fayt (looks teary eyed at Albel): „But...but I...only wanted ..." (down)
Albel (gracious): "Pff. You maggot."
Fayt (suddenly cheerful, hops away): „YEAAAAHHH! Albel loves me!! YES! He loves me!!!"
Albel (without saying a word he dials a number of an psychotherapist): „Fool."

By: LeiserTod

Characters: Albel, Klaus

LeiserTod: „Who's Klaus? Of course, a Klausian! XD"

Albel (meets a Klausian): „What do you want? Worm."
Klaus (smiles foolishly): „Hey, KLausi! klaus KLauSu ...klas KlAussua!"
Albel (lifts his eyebrow derisively): „Yeah, I'm also doing fine...you allright upstairs?" (points to his head)
Klaus (gasps for air): „KALAAuusssaaaii! Klausklaaussusaaajaa...! wow."
Albel (confused): „Huh? Can you speak the same fucking language like all the other fucking worms, too? Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm not a worm. I meant all the fucking mankind. Not me."
Klaus (drags Albel off into a rotten shack): „Klasussssususussusuzsus! KLaaUUUs!"
Albel (sees another Klaus, collapses nearly): „Not another one! Let me go! Fool! Fucking rapist!"
(both Klausians have an animated discussion – the first Klaus points to his head – similar to the gesture of Albel at the beginning)
Albel (a little bit irritated): "What the fuck are you doing out there? Let me out!"
(Klaus' don't pay any attention to him, the first one signs some paper)
Klaus (turns to Albel): „Considering the current circumstances and your use of certain words and gestures, it appears that you have accepted my proposal of marriage. Now you are my husband."
Albel (screeches in a very unmanly way): "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYT!!!"

By: LeiserTod

tbc?

Uhm, yeah. There are possibly more to come...better ones. But it would be nice to know your opinion about that.