Dear Kurt Hummel,
You have been chosen to participate on our local dating show 'Lima's Love Surge', for an exclusive first show about the homosexual acts. The show will be hosted by the famous Warbler, Blaine Anderson, and there will be three mystery contenders for you to choose from. Please report to The Lima Bean coffee shop on this August 12th at 11:00am. You've been chosen, there's no backing down now. This show will be broadcasted live, dress nice and come prepared to have your heart stolen.
-Sue Sylvester
Kurt Hummel reread this letter over and over again. This was the most ridiculous concept he'd ever heard of. They weren't really in the proper location where homosexuality was celebrated and aired on local television, but the letter clearly stated he couldn't back down now. Today was August 9th, meaning he had a day to get the perfect outfit together.
He sighed and walked over to his closet, rummaging around in it until he found the perfect outfit. He laid it out on a chair next to his bed and walked into the bathroom to start his facial skin treatment.
He lay down in his bed and closed his eyes, relaxing as he thought what the contenders could possibly be like. He wasn't aware of any other gay males in Lima, so he was curious, and they must go to McKinley if Sue Sylvester knew them. He briefly wondered about this Blaine Anderson character, and what he would be like. Kurt had never heard of him before.
The next morning Kurt awoke at 10:00am, he had an hour to get ready and be at The Lima Bean. Kurt showered and blow-dried his hair. He pulled his clothes on, a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a violet v-neck, a black vest that was scrunched in the back and almost looked silk. Kurt added a pair of black sneakers with purple laces that looked very classy with his outfit; he then walked into the bathroom and styled his hair with non-stick hair gel, so his hair would still feel clean and soft.
He smiled at his reflection in the mirror and realized he only had ten minutes to get to The Lima Bean. He grabbed his car keys and drove their, arriving just in time. He was ushered onto the stage quickly by Sue and then she walked off stage, cueing a man with curly black hair and gorgeous hazel eyes, whom he assumed was Blaine, to start the show.
"Alright folks, welcome to Lima's Love Surge! We're here with Kurt Hummel, our lovely contender, and three lucky contenders on the other side of this wall. Kurt will ask them a series of questions and based on their answers, he will pick someone that he wants to be with. We hope that you find the perfect guy Kurt, let's begin" he said, charismatically.
Kurt smiled as he was handed note cards with questions on them.
"Alright, Kurt, your first question will be for all three of these contenders" Blaine said.
"Okay. Contestants, if you and I were on a shipwrecked island, what would be the first task you'd hope to accomplish?" He asked.
Blaine walked behind the wall and grinned. "Contestant number one?" he said, handing the man the microphone.
"Uhh, I guess that I would try to find something to eat…I like to eat" one Finn Hudson said in his clueless puppy voice.
Blaine chuckled and took the microphone back, walking over to the next contestant, Sam Evans.
"Contestant number two?" Blaine asked, handing him the microphone.
"Well, I would explore the island and try to find any native life that could help me escape, or at least survive. Like in Avatar." He added, grinning.
Blaine had to hide in his laughter and walked over to the third contestant, Noah 'Puck' Puckerman. "Contestant number three?" Blaine asked, yet again handing the contestant the microphone.
"Screw worrying about getting off the island. I'm more worried about getting laid, I'd take Kurt right on the beach" he said with a grin. Blaine made a 'yikes' face and laughed.
"Bad idea, sand would get everywhere," he added, walking over to Kurt and smiling.
"So Kurt, what do you think of your contestants so far?" Blaine asked, leaning down and holding the microphone in front of Kurt.
"Well…contestant number one sounds…logical enough. Number two…you're a science fiction nerd, I can tell already. And number three…I have no comment for you, just…no" he added. Blaine grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at Kurt.
"I don't know, seeing you I might have to find somewhere nicer to take you and do the same thing" he said with a chuckle.
Kurt blushed and became embarrassed.
"Alright, the next question is just for contestant number one, what'll it be Kurt?" Blaine asked.
Kurt smiled at the male and took the microphone.
"Contestant number one, you and I are at a party, and for some odd reason I end up intoxicated severely, what would you do?" he asked.
Blaine took the microphone and walked over to Finn, handing him the microphone.
"Well…I'm not really sure what intoxicated means, but if you were drunk then I'd drive you home and make sure you got to sleep okay. I know I've had to deal with a lot of my friends getting drunk, and it wasn't pretty." He said.
Blaine smiled weakly and pat Finn's head and walked back over to Kurt, handing him the microphone.
"That's very sweet, and intoxicated is drunk sweetie" he added, laughing.
Blaine smiled. "And your question for contestant number two?" he asked.
Kurt nodded, "If you and I were having a romantic evening, what would we be doing?" he asked.
Blaine winked at Kurt and then walked over to Sam, handing him the microphone.
"Well, we'd probably be watching a movie at my house and eating popcorn or chips. Then we could share some chocolate…or skittles…any kind of candy really." He said.
Kurt gave a forlorn sigh. It was so cliché. Blaine walked over and handed Kurt the microphone.
"Alright, contestant number three. You seem to be one that's interested in sensual acts. Woo me with your best pick up line to get me into bed." Kurt said, smirking.
Puck grinned and grabbed the microphone from Blaine.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?" he asked with a smirk.
Kurt giggled; he'd never heard that one before.
"Your laugh is adorable" Blaine said when he took the microphone back. "It's melodic really. Anyway Kurt, it's time to send someone home, who's it going to be?" he asked.
Kurt took the microphone. "Sorry, but it's going to have to be contestant number two." He said.
Blaine nodded. "Alright, contestant number two, come meet Kurt, so he can see what he's missing out on" Blaine said.
Sam stood up and walked over, smiling at Kurt. Kurt smiled and hugged him. "It was nice meeting you, sorry, you're just not my type." He said.
Sam shrugged and waved goodbye before leaving the stage and getting a coffee.
"Alright Kurt, you're going to ask two more questions, both of them to both contestants, are you ready?" Blaine asked Kurt.
Kurt nodded and asked the first question. "I need a man who can satisfy, what's your favorite position?" he asked.
Blaine walked over and handed the microphone to Finn.
"Well…I'm usually flat on my stomach with a controller in my hands in front of my couch." He said.
Blaine laughed; Finn didn't even understand the question. Puck, however, did.
Blaine handed the microphone to the sex-addicted male, waiting to hear his answer.
"Well, I like sixty-nine'ing, it brings immaculate pleasure to both participants." Puck said, grinning.
Kurt found himself blushing at the concept. Blaine walked over and handed him the microphone.
"And what's your last question Kurt?" Blaine asked, smiling at him.
Kurt kept looking at Blaine and all of his gorgeousness and he couldn't help but feel his heart beating rapidly. His throat dried and he tried to swallow, he was so breath taken by this male.
"Umm, my last question for these contenders is…Where do you see yourself in five years?" he asked.
Blaine walked over to Finn and handed him the microphone.
"Well, I don't plan on going to college, so probably playing pro-football or working at that auto-shop in town." He said.
Blaine walked over to Puck and handed him the microphone.
"In five years I see myself being famous and having sexy ladies and men throwing themselves at me." Puck said with a grin.
Blaine shrugged and walked over to Kurt with the microphone.
"So Kurt, time to make a decision, which would you like to pick?" he asked the male, a sparkle in his eyes as he gazed into Kurt's baby blue eyes.
Kurt blushed and looked down. "Can I pick you?" Kurt asked, smiling shyly at him.
Blaine thought about it for a moment and then shrugged.
"Why not?" he offered, grinning. "Finn, Puck, come meet Kurt." He said.
The two boys walked over and frowned at Kurt, at least one of them was supposed to be with him, but he picked the Host.
Kurt waved goodbye to them and then stood up, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck. Blaine tossed the microphone to someone in the audience and picked Kurt up bridal style. He kissed him and then ran off with him; Kurt was giggling the entire time.
Once they were out of The Lime Bean, Blaine set Kurt down and smiled at him.
"So, would you like to go on a date?" he asked with a grin, causing Kurt to nod happily.
So Kurt and Blaine ran off to be happy for the rest of their lives while Sam, Puck, and Finn sat pouting that the cute male hadn't picked one of them.
~Le End~