Accumulation
You're the couple everyone's t-a-l-k-i-n-g about
But it's not as if it's good
Because it isn't some love story
(no "oh, they're so adorable!"s)
Every time you walk into a room
Even without him
It's dead silence
And then whispers E/R/U/P/T all around you
Stares make you self-conscious,
[uncomfortable]
::
One
side
of the hall
(Crowding) you
"He doesn't deserve you."
Words of encouragement, compliments, but also not-so-good things
"He's going to drop you, after using you;
he is known throughout Slytherin for that very reason."
(BUT THEY'RE ALL BLOODY WRONG
wrongwrongWRONG
everything's wrong now)
.but maybe you just can't admit
that you're the tiniest bit
a-f-r-a-i-d
that they're all actually
very right.
::
The
other:
"You don't deserve him."
[worthless scum
blood traitor
bleeding twat
and ACTUALLY
you're mad at yourself, too]
It takes all your courage
{{{ you have a lot of that,
c.o.u.r.a.g.e;
you're in Gryffindor, would you like to be reminded? }}}
NOT to get up and scream
"Shut UP.
I don't care."
::
You feel suffocated
ltrapped
under ice
&&there'sTOOMUCHWATER
- drowningl
::
There are three main reasons your relationship is WRONGwrongwrong
i. prosapia
Your cousin
is his MOTHER
and that just keeps racing through your mind
you're all for in-family relationships:
[you a.r.e still in one of the most prestigious pureblood families,
'blood traitor' or not]
And he was
dating his cousin before
but it still seems so wrong,
so forbidden
&& you don't know what to DO
ii. varietas
So, so many differences
the list goes on and on
you needn't even start
he's elegant
that was the one word to sum him up, really
and you're so unsophisticated
no matter how hard you tried
you were always overshadowed
you knew you couldn't stand a chance,
be as
beautifulexquisitecharming
as the other girls who've managed
to capture his heart
or, at least, fill his lust.
(because no girl lasts long on his arm
and you're afraid you're going to go the same way)
iii. diligo
really, you idiot
are you seriously thinking you may be falling in
LOVE?
He's just a boy
A crush
and anyway
you've been taught your whole life
that love was overrated
and only the w.e.a.k people do
(but you've thrown away lots of things you've believed in
why should this be any different?)
::
Why is this happening?
You just can't figure out
How this started
and WHY the sodding hell it won't stop
because you don't like it
not one bit
and you're still used to getting what you wanted
when you wanted it
(even though you haven't in six years
and that nagging feeling is back)
::
There's a thought that's scaring you
Scaring you so badly on why you're thinking it
You're ready to do whatever it takes
To be accepted again
To love him
To be loved
you're changing
for a BOY
(and you know what?
maybe you like it).
A/N: -sigh- another weird poem.