It has only been a couple days, and he is already feeling . . . weird without her incessant banter and teasing and sarcastic comments.
Maybe he had just finally been getting used to it.
"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi yells, racing to catch up. He skids to a stop, out of breath and hair sticking up everywhere. "Tsu -" His voice cuts off as he notices the absence of the one glaringly obvious person. "Where's -"
"I don't want to talk about it," Tsukishima says, pushing up his glasses.
Yamaguchi stares at him.
Hesitant.
Worried.
"Okay," he says softly.
Tsukishima ignores him.
He doesn't need sympathy.
….
She danced around his room.
"Would you stop that?" he demanded, exasperation leaking into his voice.
She laughed and turned the volume up on the radio, then grabbed his hand. "Come on, Kei!" she urged. "Live a little!"
He rolled his eyes.
"Dance with me?" she asked, eyes glinting and full of mischief.
"Tch."
"You're such a stick in the mud, Kei. Even worse than Assikawa."
His head snapped up. "How would you know what Oikawa -"
She snickered, swinging around in an attempt to get him to spin with her. He didn't budge.
She didn't seem to mind, though. Her eyes were sparkling and -
"I think someone's jeeeeaaalllloooouuusssss!" she taunted.
"Tch. You wish."
She just grinned even wider and tugged his arms. Sighing, he let her spin him around the room.
….
Sitting in the cafeteria. Ignoring his fellow classmates. Trying not to look at her.
"Did you hear -"
"- total jerk: she should have done it years -"
"- can't stand him -"
"She deserved better -"
And then her voice that's somehow cheerful and sad at the same time: ". . . no . . . we . . . I didn't . . . he . . . we just needed a break . . ."
A small, sardonic smile nearly curves his lips; but he stops it just in time.
How typical. Even when she has every right to hate him, to badmouth him, she defends him, if indirectly. He is so tired of her being Little Miss Perfect, even when it's okay by practically everyone's standards to drop it.
Tsukishima slips his headphones on, the music drowning out all noise, and does not acknowledge Yamaguchi's watching eyes.
Maybe, a small corner of his mind whispers, it's because she still likes you.
He shoves the thought as far away as possible.
….
"I have noticed," she said gravely, "that you like saying 'tch.'"
He rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time.
She smiled up at him as she lay on the grass next to the blanket, her hair spread out in silky strands. "Today was fun," she said dreamily.
He gently flicked a strand of hair off her nose. She breathed evenly, peaceful and quiet; and they stayed that way, her looking up, him looking down.
She bolted upwards, crying out "Race you!"
She sprinted off; and he sighed, following behind at a much slower pace.
"Slowpoke!" she called back to him.
Why was he dating her again?
Her head tilted back to look at him - and then she tripped, tumbling down the hill.
He sighed. Again. Picking his way down, he found her spread out at the foot of the hill, one hand flung out and eyes closed.
"Not funny. Get up."
No answer.
He hesitated, an unfamiliar feeling in his chest - worry? He bent over, finger hovering over the pulse -
- and found himself pinned to the ground, her lips brushing against his and her hair entangling in everything.
He jerked up and whacked her on the head. "You idiot," he snarled. "You didn't need to do that just for - just so -"
You enjoyed it, though . . ., a voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like hers teased.
She was laughing, trying to stop, looking at him, and laughing again, harder, faster.
"Wow - you actually - care!" she managed to choke out through her giggling.
"Tch. As if."
"Admiiiit it!" she sang. "You were worried!"
"Shut up."
She laughed and kissed him again.
….
Don't look at her. Don't look at them. Pretend everything is alright.
Snide comment fly out of his mouth automatically; he goes along, acts normal -
Yamaguchi's eyes, still watching him, not fooled by his display of nonchalance and devil-may-care attitude.
….
Breathing, trying to stay calm, trying not to snap.
Her voice, going on and on, stretching out into the horizon. He couldn't think; he couldn't focus: there was only her voice, endless.
"Would you just shut up?!" he exploded. Eyes flashing, hands clenched, hair mussed from his hand repeatedly running through it in annoyance and anger and desperate wish for her to just be quiet -
Her eyes widened, and something shut off in them. Turning around and marching away, head held high and fists clenched at the sides.
He sank into his chair.
"What did I just do?" he whispered.
Sure, he has yelled at her, retorted, insulted; but she has never taken it seriously. She just rolls her eyes, smirks, laughs, or kisses him for no reason whatsoever.
Something about that time, that tone, that expression, must have been . . . different.
"What did I do?" he repeated, almost desperately.
A part of him wanted to go running, apologize, ask for her to forgive him for something he did not even realize he had done - but he can't. He . . . just . . . can't.
….
That part of him, that pride: what keeps him from showing emotion. . . . She has the power to wipe it into nonexistence for a few short seconds. Maybe she has always been like that.
Moving, finding her, wanting to, yet not at the same time.
She is so close, and he just wants . . . he needs . . .
"Will you go out with me?"
Tsukishima blinks.
A boy is standing in front of her, awkward, hesitant, hopeful.
And she says yes.
She says yes, smiles, and slips her hand into his arm.
….
"I'm sorry." She was crying, tears running down her face. "I just . . . I can't do this anymore."
Numb.
"I love you. I always will. But I can't . . ."
Her voice trailed off, and she walked away.
….
Play volleyball. Do schoolwork. Use music to drown out the words both outside and in. Try to forget her name. Ignore the sympathetic looks from Yamaguchi, the snarky comments and smirks from his teammates, the moments when they are truly concerned. Act like nothing has happened, or attempt to, anyway.
….
She moves on. He can see it in her eyes, that she's happy.
So he really can't do anything.
Other than move on without her.
….
A/N: Sorry if you expected something else. :\
And yes, I know he's a little OoC . . . but whatever. :P
Review and you will be my hero!