Notes: Quick little oneshot, with a holiday theme.
Pairing: House/Cuddy
The Best Things in Life
by Ijemanja
"What's this?" She raised an eyebrow at him as he came to stand before her desk and slapped a sheet of notepaper down in front of her.
"My list."
"Your list. Widescreen plasma TV," she read. "Lifetime subscription to 'Busty Beauties', massage chairs for the diagnostics lounge... what no kitchen sink?"
"I'll also accept cheques with an appropriate amount of zeros. And strippers."
"Strippers?"
"What am I, heartless? Who can say no to a stripper?"
She just looked at him.
"It's the least you could do," he informed her. "After everything I've done for you this year..." Her look was turning into a glare and he quickly continued, "Or rather everything I didn't do for you this year. I didn't burn down the place. I didn't scare away any major donors. I didn't kill anyone. Hardly anyone. I didn't TP your house even once. I didn't -"
"And you think that means you deserve a... ridiculously extravagant Christmas present?" she said before he could go on.
He shrugged. "'Tis the season."
Sighing, she looked over the list again. "Number nine," she said finally.
"Number nine - is that the '65 Corvette to replace the one you made me give back to the mobsters?"
"No."
"The massage parlour gift certificate?" She shook her head and he leaned over to snatch the list back. "Oh, number nine. That one's okay," he admitted reluctantly. "Sure you don't want to buy me the car? I'd let you borrow it."
She snorted. "No you wouldn't."
"No, I wouldn't. All right, that was unrealistic, but not everything on here is - come on, loosen those purse strings. Word gets out, people will think you're stingy." No response. He sighed. "Guess I'll have to settle for you sexing me up like a mad thing all night long, then."
"Guess so," she replied mildly.
"Cheapskate," he said.
She shrugged. "Well you didn't really think I'd spring for massage chairs, did you?"