It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything: is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you: feels wrong
Amanda was at her boyfriend's house when she discovered that he had cheated on her. She went to confront him about it.
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes
"I wish I could take it back, Amanda... I'm sorry," Al spoke softly as Amanda stood in front of him, raging with anger and hurt. Knowing she'd been hurt again, by another man in her life. Amanda shook her head as tears ran hot against her cheeks. She really thought he loved her.
You should've said no, you
should've gone home
You should've thought twice
'Fore you let it all go
"I should've— you should've been thinking about me when you were making your decision. Why didn't you think twice about it?" Amanda threw her hands in the air. "It was one moment of weakness, baby... I promise you it won't happen again. The past is the past, I just need another chance and I'll prove it to you.. I promise."
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
"I... I shouldn't be facing you like this," her voice broke. "I'm asking myself why... what did I do wrong for this to happen? You... shouldn't be here begging for another chance.." her voice went soft as tears ran across her face, she relentlessly wiped them away furious that she's even crying. He wasn't worth crying over.
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me
Al was on his knees, hugging her waist. "Baby, please.. don't throw this away over one moment of weakness... I can't lose you. We've been doing so well together," his voice was soft and sweet. "I've never loved someone as much as I love you." Amanda pushed Al away, chuckling softly.
You can see that I've been crying
And baby you know all the right things: to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same
"Boy, you sure do know the right things to say... but do you really think I'm that stupid, Al? To believe that we can move forward from this? From past experience, it's always happened more than once. I'm done letting people walk all over me.." Amanda heads towards the door, her hand on the doorknob. "I have one question left... was it worth it? Was she worth it?" She jerked the door open and slammed it shut, walking away. She didn't even stop, she just wanted to get out of there.
I can't resist
Before you go, tell me this:
Was it worth it?
Was she worth this?
Eventually Amanda walked to the front of an apartment complex. She looked up at the building and shook her head as she went up. Amanda stopped outside the apartment, hesitating. After standing there for about ten minutes, she finally knocked.
"Amanda." A voice surprised to see her. "Hey..." her voice was soft. "What's up?"
"Was in the neighborhood... is now a bad time?" She measly asked. "No, actually, I just put Noah to bed. Come on in," Olivia invited the blonde in. Amanda stepped into the apartment.
Liv shut the door after Amanda stepped in. "Can I get you something to drink?" Olivia asks. "You got any alcohol?" Amanda suggested.
"I got wine... and..." Olivia looked up in the cupboard. "Whiskey."
Amanda lit up a bit, "I'll take that. On the rocks."
Olivia poured herself some as well just for the hell of it. She handed a glass to Amanda as they sat on the couch.
"Okay, I know you're over here for a reason... and not just happening to be in the neighborhood either. Where's Jesse?" Olivia asks. "She's with Fin," Amanda murmured as she gulps down quite a bit of her whiskey.
"Okay... what happened?" Olivia sipped her whiskey. "Nothing, really. I just wanted to see a friend." Amanda shrugged as she finished her whiskey.
Olivia knew better than to press. "Refill? I think there's enough for a second round." Olivia joked causing Amanda to chuckle. "Yeah, sure." Even though Olivia was nowhere near done with the first glassful.
Olivia brought the bottle into the living room and set it on the countertop.
Amanda poured herself another glass as Olivia manages to almost finish hers.
"What's wrong with me?" Amanda murmurs softly. Olivia almost spit up the last of her whiskey as Amanda asked the question. "What do you mean?" Olivia asks as she sets her glass down on the table and poured the last of the whiskey into her glass.
"Am I not enough...?" Amanda's voice broke as her hand that held the glass of halfdrank whiskey shook. Olivia noticed and took the glass away, setting it on the table. "Hey..." Olivia's voice soft, as her hand replaced the glass that Amanda was holding a moment earlier. "You're more than enough.. even though I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I had a boyfriend... and.. things were going great," Amanda sighed. "U-until I found out... that.. h-he ch-cheated on me." Amanda broke down crying. He wasn't worth crying over but just the realization of yet another failed relationship.
Olivia pulled Amanda into a hug as she rubbed her hand against Amanda's back. "I'm sorry to hear... he truly didn't know what he had." Olivia comforted her friend. "I'm tired of meeting these guys and they just turn out to be douchbags..." Amanda murmurs as she continues to be held by Olivia. She pulls away a little, laying her head on Olivia's chest.
"Just takes time and heartaches to find the right person." Olivia spoke softly as her hand softly rubs Amanda's arm.
"Maybe I'll go back to dating girls..." Amanda fidgets with her fingers. "I didn't know you were into women..." Olivia murmurs in surprise. Amanda just nodded her head against Olivia's chest.
"I.. had a girlfriend when I moved here to New York, after I'd settled with the job and everything."
"What happened?" Olivia asks. Amanda shrugs, "we both wanted different things. I just wasn't ready to commit all the way.. but I loved her so much, I just haven't tried dating a girl since."
"Hopefully, you can get back out there and find yourself a decent girl who will treat you with respect, love, and kindness. Not just you, but Jesse as well." Olivia's arms wraps around Amanda's body in a gentle hug before moving her arms back to where they were before. Amanda looks up at Olivia, her blue eyes meeting brown. Amanda pulls herself up a little, her lips gliding against Olivia's. Olivia's arms went around Amanda, holding her close as she slipped her tongue into the blonde's mouth. The kiss was hot and heavy, causing both ladies needing air to breathe, Amanda pulls away.
"Uh.. sorry. I just... needed that, I guess." Amanda bit the corner of her lip, blushing out of embarrassment.
"Hey, it's okay," Olivia murmurs. "Have you ever done that before?" Amanda asks curiously.
"What, makeout with a woman?" Olivia replies. Amanda nodded her head. "Yes, as a matter of fact, it was. I've had a woman plainly kiss me, but I just wasn't interested.. but I began to learn who I was after that. Found myself questioning."
"And now...?" Amanda raised an eyebrow. "It's not so bad. You're a pretty good kisser." Olivia giggles as she blushed a little.
"Thanks," Amanda blushed shyly. "I just, wasn't expecting to do that after this breakup..."
"Hey, stuff happens. Just because you kissed me, doesn't mean you're ready to move on. You just had a moment." Olivia spoke. Amanda finishes the whiskey she had whereas Olivia had already finished hers.
"Can I... see something?" Amanda asks. "Uh, sure." Olivia chuckles, amused to find out what Amanda asks.
Amanda turns around and straddles herself against Olivia's lap as her lips found Olivia's once again. Olivia wasn't sure why Amanda was being like this all of the sudden, but she didn't want to admit just yet that she was enjoying it.
Amanda's lips trailed wet, open mouthed kisses against Olivia's jawline and down her neck to the pulse point. Olivia stopped Amanda, pushing her away.
"What— what's wrong?" Amanda asks concerned. Olivia's breath was heavier than it was before. "Nothing... it's just, you can't do that."
"Oh, I... I'm s-sorry Liv... I just got too enthusiastic about it."
"That wasn't the problem, I was enjoying it. It's just, when you got to the last place on my neck, it... it's one of my turn on spots." Olivia bit her lip, face turning red.
"And you don't want to pursue anything further than a kiss... gotcha." Amanda got off of Olivia's lap. "Hey, don't be like that Manda..." Olivia murmurs. "I just don't want this friendship to be weird or anything if we do this..." Olivia bit the corner of her lip.
"I know I'm hurting, Liv, but I know better than to take advantage of you. I want to heal from this hurt. It's dumb, I know but... give me time..." Amanda whispered.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" Olivia asks. "The way, how it felt to kiss you, felt so right... right now, I just want to let loose and I promise you that if we pursue this as something more, it won't be weird. It's something I've wanted for so long, but I just knew you weren't into that stuff so I never bothered with it."
"Okay, let's agree to this right now. Say, this continues on tonight, some fun stuff... and we decide to pick it up, let's just let tonight be the only night until you're sure you want something from us."
"Deal," Amanda says. Olivia pulls Amanda by her shirt and kisses her, Amanda lets her lips crash into Olivia's and then works down at her neck again, causing Olivia to squirm around a little.
Amanda pulls away, "so um..." she bites her lip. "What's up?" Olivia asks.
"I think.. maybe tonight's just not a good night for me, I don't know..." Amanda whispers as she's sitting up on Olivia's lap. "It's okay Amanda. There's no rush in this. Remember, I said we can move forward and pursue this whenever you're ready." Olivia murmurs.
"You're not making this easy," Amanda chuckles softly. "I... want to.. but I don't want to move too fast," Amanda shook her head.
"Like I said, whenever you want to. Whatever you want to do. Whether you just want a night of fun, or just comfort talk from a friend... I'm here." Olivia interlocks her fingers with Amanda's.
Amanda sighed, "I know.. but the thing is, I'll hate myself and regret moving on already... but if I don't do something tonight, I might never get the chance." Olivia looked deep into Amanda's eyes.
"Hey, Amanda.. you've done quite a bit tonight, it's not a total loss," Olivia murmurs.
"It's a loss for me of the fact that I'm indecisive because I got turned on and it's gonna be dealt with." Amanda laughs. "Why don't I just handle it?" Olivia says, causing Amanda to laugh. Olivia raised an eyebrow.
Amanda stops laughing as soon as she sees Olivia's face. "Oh, you were serious?" Amanda asks. "Yeah, I kinda was..." Olivia nodded her head a little. "You're not the only one who's turned on here," Olivia bit her lip.
Amanda groaned softly as she watches Olivia bite her lip. "That right there, doesn't help."
"What?" Olivia replied, innocently. "You know what." Amanda pushes verbally. "Oh, you mean...," Olivia bites her lip again, grinning devilishly. Amanda pulls Olivia by her shirt upwards to meet Amanda. Their lips crashed together in a heat of passion.
Olivia takes her hands to the front of Amanda's shirt, ripping it apart. Amanda gasped. "Oh that was my favorite plaid shirt," Amanda said sadly. "I'll buy you another one," Olivia spoke in a raspy voice. Amanda's breath hitched as she leaned forward and kissed Olivia.
Olivia took her hands and picked up Amanda, holding her firmly as she carried Amanda into the bedroom and laid her on the bed, gently shutting the door, careful to not wake Noah. She laid Amanda on the bed as her mouth placed kisses on Amanda's neck, spurring the blonde to muffle throaty moans.
Amanda's hands ran up Olivia's back gently, pulling her shirt up. Olivia pulled her arms through the sleeves as Amanda threw the shirt to the floor.
Olivia worked her way down to Amanda's waist, unbuttoning and pulling the pants down all the way. Amanda's fingers lock in Olivia's hair as her mouth left open, wet kisses against Amanda's thighs. Amanda moaned softly in anticipation. Olivia brings her hand underneath Amanda's underwear, slender fingers slick against Amanda's folds as they run against her slit. Her fingers rubbed in circles, working against Amanda's clit her body already quivering and shaking a bit. "Oh god," Amanda said in a loud whisper knowing what was about to come.
"You like that Manda?" Olivia husked lowly as her mouth met Amanda's in a hot kiss. Olivia's fingers teased Amanda's entrance for a moment before bringing her finger back up to Amanda's clit, tracing a teasing circle against Amanda's folds before pressing her fingers against Amanda's clit and rubbing gently. "Oh.." Amanda bites her lip as Olivia inserts two fingers inside Amanda's entrance, pumping her fingers slowly.
"Liv," Amanda said in a high voice, an octave or two too high. Amanda groaned as her core contracted against Olivia's fingers.
Olivia, enjoying the view, brought herself down between Amanda's thighs, pulling her underwear down. Liv then placed her head between Amanda's thighs as her mouth worked against Amanda's clit while her fingers continue to pump inside of Amanda, fingers curving. Amanda's breathing was shallow as it hitched.
"Fuck," she murmured voice still high.
"Oh fuck!" Amanda says almost too loud as her body shakes from an orgasm, Olivia finishing it out with her mouth.
"Jesus," Amanda panted, catching her breath. "You got a bit too loud there." Olivia chuckled.
"Yeah, sorry." Amanda rolled over and got on top, kissing Olivia. The taste of her on Olivia's mouth spurred her on again. Amanda placed kisses all over Olivia's chest, being attentive to her breasts.
Sucking and biting without leaving marks across Olivia's stomach before slowly pulling Olivia's pants down, placing kisses along her waistline. Olivia was completely naked now.
Amanda's indeex finger traced a circle on Olivia's clit. "Right there," she murmured. Amanda smirked, "like this, Lieutenant?" Amanda husked.
"Oh..." her back arched as Amanda's mouth worked on the pulse point of Liv's neck as her fingers worked against her clit. Liv's hands squeezed Amanda's shoulders tightly, squirming in pleasure as her muscles started contracting all over her body, "fuck!" Liv yelped as she started going over the edge. Amanda dipped in two digits into the brunette quickly.
"Jesus.. fuck," Olivia whispered intensely as Amanda pumped her fingers inside of Olivia as her mouth sucked against Liv's clit, extremely throwing the older woman into an intense orgasm as she moaned in pleasure, almost too loudly. Amanda helped Liv ride out through the orgasm. "Manda," Liv whispered as she came down from her orgasm.
"Yeah?" She murmurs as she lays besides Olivia. "That was probably the best sex I've ever had. Jesus fuck." Olivia murmurs, pulling herself close to Amanda with a kiss.