This fic isn't very exciting. But I love this song, and as I was listening to this the other day, I couldn't get over how perfectly it fit Jane and Lisbon. Song credit: Coldplay.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Teresa Lisbon sat in the driver's seat of her car, staring out the front windshield. She kept her eyes on the road, careful not to look into the eyes of her tearful consultant, who sat in the passenger seat. The sky was dark. It was pouring down rain.
Lisbon sneaked a peek out of the corner of her eye. He sat there, looking miserable. This case had hit way too close to home.
Red John's latest victim was a fifteen-year-old girl. She had stayed home from school with the flu, and was murdered in her own bed. She was discovered later by her little sister who had returned from school. She would no doubt need therapy for the next ten years of her life. Poor thing.
As soon as they had walked into the crime scene, Jane looked so broken. His eyes seemed to lose their color. His face was extremely pale. He stared at the bloodied body of the young girl, unable to speak. When people asked if he was okay, he would smile (which was clearly fake) and nod. Yes, I'm fine, he would insist. Lisbon knew better.
Now, Lisbon and Jane were on their way back to the CBI in silence. Lisbon hated how silent it was, so she tried to pay attention to the song that was playing on the low-volume radio.
When you try your best but you don't succeed…
As she listened, the lyrics made her think of all the times she'd tried to help Jane, of all the times she tried to put him back together, piece by piece, when in reality, she was almost equally broken.
As she continued listening to the song, she realized the lyrics actually meant something to her. To them.
When you get what you want but not what you need…
Lisbon allowed herself another peek at Jane. When he wasn't depressed like this, he was normally his happy-go-lucky, pain-in-the-ass self. He fooled everyone else, but Lisbon knew it was just an act. She wanted him to actually be happy, and not have to fake it. She needed him to be happy.
How cliché was this?
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep…
She thought of all the times she'd walked into the bullpen at five-thirty in the morning to find him feigning sleep on his couch. "Jane?" she'd say. "Are you sleeping?"
His blue eyes would flutter open. "No."
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"
He'd shake his head. "No," he'd reply. "I didn't sleep last night."
"Jane, you look exhausted."
"I am."
Stuck in reverse…
And the tears come streaming down your face…
Teresa remembered the one and only time she'd caught him in tears. It was a rainy day, just like this one. A little girl had been murdered by her aunt on accident, and the girl had a striking resemblance of Jane's daughter. He never actually said this out loud, but later that day, after finding him with a tear-streaked face up in his attic, she'd researched information on his family. There, she found pictures. His wife was drop dead beautiful. A mixture of the bronze hair, warm chocolate eyes, and flawless skin made her so gorgeous.
The daughter was also beautiful. Curly blond locks, rosy cheeks, bright blue eyes, a heart-winning smile. She looked a lot like the victim in this case.
Jane's little girl looked exactly like him, too.
When you lose something you can't replace…
By now, the song caught Jane's attention as well. He glanced over at Lisbon, and she met his eyes, smiling sympathetically. He tried to smile back, but failed. He knew what she was thinking, and she knew what he was thinking.
They'd both lost someone, or more than just one someone, that they knew couldn't be replaced.
When you love someone but it goes to waste…
Jane and Lisbon both stared out the windshield, shocked by how well they could relate to this song. This is so cheesy, Lisbon thought, trying not to smile.
Could it be worse?
"No," Jane said out loud, as if he were answering the question in the song. Lisbon bit back a smile.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones.
And I will try to fix you.
Patrick Jane peeked at his boss out of the corner of his eye. Her jaw was clenched, emotion just dying to be unleashed. He knew what she was thinking. She was thinking the exact same thing that he was.
They had both spent most of their time as colleagues trying to silently, carefully fix each other.
They both failed miserably, because neither would let the other one close enough.
High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go…
Jane thought of his family, and his need for revenge on Red John. He thought of all the times Lisbon had called him "stubborn", or "headstrong". He wasn't going to let go of his selfish need for revenge. He loved his wife and child too much. He wasn't going to let it go. He'd kill the man that killed his soul.
But if you never try, you'll never know
Just what you're worth…
He'd always wondered to himself if he actually had the strength to kill Red John. The serial killer knew everything. He had so many advantages. Jane knew how this would end. Either he'd be dead, or Red John would be dead and Jane would land in jail.
Lisbon was now pulling into the CBI parking lot. She parked her car a few spots down from Jane's Citroen. They glanced at the clock. It was nine P.M. Time to go home. They both sat there, listening to the rain and to the rest of the song. In unison, they both looked over at each other and leaned across the car to pull the other in for a hug.
They held each other for a long time, until the song was nearly over.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones…
They both pulled back, looked the other straight in the eye, and whispered the next lyrics.
To each other.
"And I will try to fix you."
Thanks for reading. Cheesy, I know. Review?