Sakata Gintoki wasn't even sure what this quirk was supposed to be. He had read comics of many heroes with really cool sounding quirks and skills that did something mighty awesome with their bodies, such as making it super huge, super loud, super strong, grow an extra limb, and so on. Quirks were supposed to be the superpower that makes a main character in a series unique!

So then, why was his only labeled as something so lame and crude as "Testicles" by the doctor?

Last time he checked, his own didn't become bigger (or smaller). It didn't grow vines or anything that could help with anything. He had no idea what his quirk did, but the name seemed to have nothing to do with it! So why? Why?

Well, I mean, on the bright side, he did just get accepted into a really well-thought of school called U.A., so maybe he shouldn't be too worried about his quirk's weird name.

Why did he get accepted despite not knowing how to activate his crudely named quirk, you may ask? Because he happened to also be the only adopted child and one of the few disciples of the great professional, Yoshida Shoyo. Shoyo also happened to be a teacher there, so he probably pulled a few strings to get him in. No better way to learn than to experience, right?

Now, the awkward part was going into the building. First year was the highest level he could get in with help from Shoyo, and it's not like he's that far an age for it either. At least, he believes so. Fifteen is a fair age for this, right? Not too old, hopefully not too young. Just like a highschool. Maybe.

Oh shoot, but that also means the other students will just be first years. He doesn't remember ever going to a big, not at home, school, but he's definitely heard bad things about first years. Like how they're babies. Wait, but wouldn't that mean he'd be considered a baby? And wait, isn't it technically the middle of the year? So he's that one cliché transfer student he's seen in manga now? A transfer who doesn't know his own stupid quirk? Does that make him no more than a fetus?

"Hey, are you a new student?"

Pushing his evergrowing weird thoughts away, he looks up to- Ah, no. Actually, he looked down to see a weird elf with purple balls on its head.

'Is that supposed to be what my quirk does?'

"Uh, yeah. Hasn't class started already though?" He muttered, finding it strange to talk to such a cartoonish-looking, definite-side character.

"Ah, that? Psh, school is just limitations to my own creativity." The grape stared dramatically into the distance.

'Well, if that didn't sound like Zura.'

"You're just late to your class, aren't you? Pfft, how lame," Gintoki snickered mockingly.

"Huh-hey, shut up! It's not like you're any better off, newbie!" The purple turkey shouted, "It's already two hours in!"

"Whatever. Shoyo took a long time with the meeting, so I have to go now. Bye, grape F*nta!" The permheaded protagonist dashed into the building ahead of the baffled goblin.

"... Eh? Shoyo?"

"1-A... 1-A... 1 and an A- Ah, there it is."

Gintoki now stood in front of two freakishly tall doors that held the sign 1-A next to it. Seriously, is there somebody in here with a quirk that makes them this tall?!

Just before he was about to barge in, he hesitated with sudden reluctance.

"Oh, do I knock? Agh, I had come here, but now I suddenly don't feel ready to face a bunch of children. Ah tut tut, I really don't think-"

His process of chickening out was interrupted when an annoyed and tired sounding voice called through the door.

"Come in."

Gintoki quickly followed the order and walked inside to face a whole bunch of oddballs.

'Is that guy's parents literally just a bird and a human? Ew. Did they * like that?'

"We have ourselves a new transfer student that is the adopted son of a professional hero. Introduce yourself, perm brat," a long black haired man spoke.

"Huh? It was just you? Oh, uh, yeah. I'm the new transfer student,"

'Holy crap, that sounds so cliché,'

"Sakata Gintoki."

After a moment of silence, Aizawa scratched the back of his neck.

"You can just sit behind Midoriya over there, Sakata-kun," he said tiredly.

"The green haired one?" Gintoki pointed to him. After recieving a nod, he walked to the seat behind the one named Midoriya and sat.

Once he did, the curly (another one?) green haired boy spoke up.

"Uh- ah, Sakata-san, what kind of quirk do you have then?" The boy asked fairly timidly.

"Huh? My quirk? Hmm... I don't know." Gintoki casually scratched at his cheek.

The student behind him, a girl with a ponytail and some... stuff, stared at him incredulously.

"You don't know your own quirk, Sakata-san? How did you end up in the Hero Department, then?" The girl questioned.

"Aizawa-sensei did say he's the son of a pro, Yaoyorozu-san*..." Midoriya muttered. Gintoki shrugged.

"Yeah, Shoyo did tweak a few things here and there. Kept sayin' I had to go to a bigger school if I ever wanted better help with my quirk. Hell, I could probably even be quirkless for all I truly know."

'Even though I keep being told I'm not.'

"Oh, well, I see then." Midoriya and the girl, Yaoyorozu, both looked as though they wanted to say something more, but that's when the doors burst open.

"HEY, YOU PERMHEADED JERK! YOU TOOK MY SEAT!"

The three glanced to the doorway to see a certain grape head pointing an accusing finger at the silver haired student.

"Mineta-kun, Aizawa-sensei already assigned Sakata-san to that seat, kero..." a girl with wide eyes and long green hair spoke.

"Just sit behind Uraraka over there, brat. Class is resuming now." Aizawa slipped out of the yellow sleeping bag he pulled out of nowhere. Mineta glumly walked over to the other side's "caboose," and then shouted.

"THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY CHAIRS HERE, SENSEI!"

Ignoring the cry, Aizawa turned around and continued the talk of before.

Now, it was time to head to All Might's practical hero lesson.

'What a lazy author. Launching this forward in time. Doesn't even record the hours of torture before this! I had MATH, and then COMPUTER SCIENCE! Shoyo doesn't even have a computer back at the academy! But anyways, I think I've heard of this "All Might" from Shoyo. Yeah, the macho rabbit that I met, like, nine years ago,' Gintoki thought to himself.

"Ah, good afternoon, class! I see Sakata-kun has joined us today! In this lesson, we'll be using dummies to practice proper aim and precision, as you can surely see on the field. Also, so that those of you with long range quirks can be more flexible in battle, you guys shall be finding ways to use your quirks in close combat! Now then, any questions!?" All Might all but shouted out to the students.

Gintoki lazily rose his hand.

"Sensei, do you have a sword I can use?" He asked, completely ignoring the surprised and confused whispers among the others.

"A sword? I don't believe we have any, Sakata-kun," All Might spoke. But before he could finish that thought, a man with long light brown hair tapped Gintoki's shoulder from behind him.

"Here, Gintoki, but no real swords here." The man held out a wooden sword to the silver haired student.

"Ah, Shoyo-sensei!" Gintoki then nodded, accepting the sword, "Thanks, but how can a wooden sword cut?"

"Wait, this is the Shoyo-sensei you were talking about?! Like, Yoshida Shoyo whose quirk no one really knows?! And he's your adopted dad?!" A spiky redhead exclaimed, "That's super cool, bro!"

"Shoyo's quirk? But, I thought it was-" Gintoki was interrupted by his mentor putting a finger on his lips with a smile too menacing to be genuine.

"I believe Gintoki-kun also got his quirk results by the doctor just the other day. What did Sakamoto-san call it again?" Shoyo looked down at his disciple mock-curiously. Gintoki caught the aura and started sweating bullets.

"N-ne-nevermind then. I don't really know what Shoyo-sensei's quirk is either. Man, is it getting hotter out here or is it just me? Heh heh..."

Everybody wore matching awkward expressions at the whole spectacle, especially when Shoyo's smile was directed towards them.

"But yes, Kirishima-kun, my name is Yoshida Shoyo, but you kids can just call me Shoyo-sensei. I was requested here by the principal to help teach you all close combat skills along with All Might-sensei. As for your question, Gintoki," the brunet glanced back at the sweating permhead, "This sword doesn't need to cut easily to be strong, but will thrive in the hands of a strong wielder, so as you are good with swordsmanship, I'll trust that you can handle the responsibility."

"Uh, yes, sensei." Gintoki awkwardly held the sword right between the handle and the wooden blade.

"Hold on, how did you know my name, Shoyo-sensei?" The redhead, Kirishima, asked.

"There were records of you all in the teachers' lounge, so I researched about everybody before arriving. Like you, young lady," Shoyo turned to a girl with medium length brown hair, "You are student number five, Uraraka Ochako-san, correct? Your quirk allows you to manipulate the gravity of an object just by making physical contact. I believe your stats would probably make you a very skilled partner to an offense-based hero, at least from what I've read."

The girl's, Uraraka's, eyes were wide and sparkly.

"Woah, and you memorized everyone like that?! That's amazing, sir!" She exclaimed.

"Thank you. Now then, we shouldn't waste anymore time. All Might-sensei has told you all what we're doing today, yes?" Shoyo received a variety of "yes"s from the students, "Okay. So get to your individual stations please."

Gintoki had picked a dummy that was, unfortunately, next to two conversing students.

"Freaking hell, what's the big deal with this guy? Why the big damn whoop from him just remembering people like some f*cking creep?" A boy with spiky blond hair growled. The boy beside him (Kirishima, was it?) didn't look as spiteful.

"Bakugo, calm down. Shoyo-sensei's a pro hero, he's also a master swordsman! Of course people respect him. He's mighty powerful," the redhead said.

"Yeah, right! He looks like a damned pedo if I've ever seen one," the blond spat. His companion frowned.

"Dude, that's ru-" Kirishima's voice dropped to a whisper when he glanced over the other's shoulder to see the new student murderously glaring in their direction, "That's Sakata-kun's dad, you know."

"So? That asshole and his bas-"

"Oi."

The two turned to see Gintoki gripping his sword.

"Stop your blabbering, if your balls are so damn blue, go find some random hooker to play hooky with instead, blondie," the silver haired teen spoke lazily, despite his readied posture.

"What the hell did you-" Bakugo was interrupted by a loud noise and everybody turned in the middle of their training to see only an unconscious Gintoki's head above the ground with Shoyo behind him.

"You're a hundred years too early to say something like that, Gintoki," the man spoke wearing a smile, causing several onlookers to shudder.

Shoyo then moved his attention towards the two in front of him.

"Sorry about this one, but please do lower your voice, Bakugo-san, especially when talking about others," the brunet then directed his words to the others, "Pardon the noise, class, please continue."

Shoyo dragged Gintoki out and over to All Might, who jolted with the other's attention on him.

"I'll take him to Recovery Girl. Don't worry, he should be better quickly enough to train some, sensei," Shoyo smiled.

"Uh, yes," All Might then struck a nervous thumbs up, "Roger!"

Midoriya watched as Shoyo left with the back of Gintoki's collar in hand.

"... So that's Yoshida Shoyo-san... huh?"

"There you are, dearie."

A pouting Gintoki and a smiling Shoyo was in front of an elderly lady after she had just healed the former with her, uh, interesting recovering quirk.

"Thank you very much, Shuzenji-san. I apologize for bothering you with this," said Shoyo, bowing slightly.

"It's fine, it's fine! This is my job, after all. Just please don't keep doing your silly affectionate gestures here or we probably won't get anywhere, Shoyo-sensei!" The woman chuckled.

'Yeah, "affectionate,"' Gintoki thought sourly, but kept his mouth shut.

"Perhaps you're right. We'll be seeing you, Shuzenji-san!" Shoyo waved with Gintoki trailing behind him.

"Heh, those troublesome fellas."

Shoyo and Gintoki arrived back at the field to a rather intense scene.

The blondie and the broccoli from earlier were having a seemingly one-sided argument.

Does this kind of thing always happen?

"DAMN IT, F*KING DEKU!" Bakugo screamed.

'Deku?'

"Hey now, you boys. Is there a problem here?" Shoyo intervened.

Bakugo and Midoriya stared at him for a moment, before the latter smiled somewhat nervously.

"Um, no, Shoyo-sensei. Kacchan's just... stressed out. Please don't worry about it," Midoriya said as Bakugo grunted and turned away, earning an odd stare from Gintoki.

'Kacchan?'

"... Alright then." Shoyo clapped his hands together to get everyone's attention (like it wasn't already all on him), "I'm sure All Might-sensei has instructed you on how to use your quirks in a different way, but now, would you know what to do if a villain with a quirk similar to Aizawa-sensei were to come along? How would you fight without your quirks?"

A blond student with a large tail rose his hand, "Um, sensei."

"Yes, Ojiro-san?"

"What about some of us with a mutant type quirk? Aizawa-sensei said he can't erase those kinds of quirks."

"Is that so? Very well. Pretend there was someone whom can only take advantage of mutant quirks when faced physically. Perhaps even nullify it. For such a situation, Principal Nezu-san and I decided it would be a good idea to teach you kids how to fight with nothing but your quirkless fists," Shoyo replied, "Ah, speaking of which, All Might-sensei, will you go and retrieve Aizawa-san? He'll be a necessary back-up for this."

"Of course!" All Might responded with his usual grandiose tone.

"Now then, anymore questions?"

"Shoyo-sensei," Gintoki raised his hand.

"What is it, Gintoki-kun?" Shoyo smiled.

"I've done this type of thing already at the academy, do I still hafta do it here?" The perm asked.

"Not this particular lesson, Gintoki, no. But I would certainly recommend practicing, since you guys will be sparring with Aizawa-sensei after," Shoyo answered.

"EH!? SERIOUSLY!?" The rest of the students exclaimed.

"Yes. It's good practice, isn't it?" Shoyo stared at the students as though he was confused on their outburst.

"Wha-wu-we can't face a pro yet, Sen-Sensei! We're still kids!" Mineta stuttered out.

Ignoring the whole thing, Gintoki continued, "Aizawa-sensei? I guess that should be fun. Do I get to practice my swordsmanship in the fight?"

"He's ignoring me!?"

"Hm, maybe next time. For now, we need to see what level everybody else is with their bare hands and feet. I've seen quirk users with quirks that can even make it so that extra mutated body parts fall limp and unusable, and I'm sure there will be times where you can't get to your sword or it breaks, so we should try to be prepared for anything, Gintoki," Shoyo responded.

"A warning to you brats, I won't be going that easy on any of you."

"Oh, Aizawa-sensei!" Kirishima spoke. There, at the entrance, in all his shaggy glory, stood their homeroom teacher. How original of the author.

"They couldn't have expected anything less, Aizawa-san," Shoyo smiled, then directed to the students, "Aizawa-sensei will help keep watch of you guys to make sure you aren't using your quirks while practicing. We don't want any expulsions, right~?"

"Nuh-no, Shoyo-sensei," Midoriya muttered.

"Good. Then you may begin."

_Timeskip_

'Seriously, why do we have to get such a lazy author for this story?' Gintoki thought. The 1-A students had been called together to basically get in line to fight in close combat with a professional fighter. Oh boy.

"First, we'll have Gintoki-kun spar with Aizawa-sensei. I'll hope he'll be able to give you kids a good example with quirkless strategies," Shoyo said as Gintoki walked up to the middle of the field several feet in front of Aizawa, both of them getting into fighting stance.

"I'm guessing you've got a trick up your sleeve to compensate for no known quirk, Sakata?" Aizawa grumbled, earning a small smirk from the other.

"Who knows?" Gintoki grinned.

"Ready? Begin!"

Gintoki immediately charged forward to land a jab at Aizawa, who quickly avoided the hit and pulled him in by the arm for a punch of his own.

Enduring the punch, Gintoki then used his other arm to grab Aizawa's outstretched arm and flipped him over to the ground.

'Holy- I just threw a teacher over my head. What a badass!'

Such a victory was short-lived when said teacher's scarf thing began moving and wrapping around Gintoki's arms.

"Wha- Hey! Isn't this a bit unfair, Shoyo-sensei?" A boy with short blond hair asked.

"Not every fight with a villain will be a fair fight, Kaminari-san. In fact, many fights will be unfair. Don't worry though, I'm sure Gintoki-kun already knows this," Shoyo lightly replied, unwrapping a package of strawberry cream-filled biscuits shaped as a certain animal head that the author shall not mention in fear he will start craving some, and popped one in his mouth.

"Oh..."

Anyways, back to the fight, Gintoki had just received a kick from the teacher in the stomach and stood for a moment trying to recover. Taking the moment, Aizawa was about to land another blow before Gintoki took him by surprise by grabbing the pieces of cloth wrapped around his arms and tangling the raven's own arm in them.

Then, while Aizawa was distracted, Gintoki rushed behind him and pinned him down with his arms behind his back, just as a bell resonated throughout the field.

"Good job, Gintoki-kun! The round is up! You won," Shoyo spoke, walking up to the two.

'Woah, this author sucks at fighting scenes. I doubt that was even in-character for Aizawa-sensei.'

"Uh, yeah," Gintoki helped untangle the scarf from his homeroom teacher's arms, "I see you lied, Aizawa-sensei."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the other muttered, getting to his feet, "After this, you all will be heading to lunch for a break. Make sure to come back out here to practice using weapons while fighting."

"We're just jumping all over the place, huh?"

'Damn, I forgot to actually socialize during any of the classes.'

Was the first half-assed thought of our protagonist of this ridiculous crossover when lunchtime rolled around.

Gintoki stood in the cafeteria with a rather lost (but still at least eighty percent aloof) expression on his face. He held a tray and certainly felt ready to eat from it, but now he still had nowhere to sit. All thanks to the fact he doesn't really know anybody here.

"Sakata-kun! Over here!" A certain brunette waved at him from a table. Shoyo said her name was Urahara, or something, right?

The perm made his way to where she was sitting with Midoriya (the other perm) and the class rep guy (a glasses character), and sat down in an empty seat at the edge of the table.

"You might already know this, but I'm Uraraka Ochako! These two are good friends of mine and we share the same class with you!" The girl, Uraraka (that's it), introduced herself with a very optimistic air around her.

"Uh, yeah. I'm Midoriya Izuku, but you probably already know that, Sakata-san," Midoriya said somewhat sheepishly.

"Hm. And I'm Tenya Iida. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sakata Gintoki-san," the last one, Iida, spoke almost formally, along with the air of an ace student.

'What an odd combination.'

"I see. Well, hope you all treat me well during my stay here, or something," Gintoki said, already "polishing" the cup that once held his dessert, "Are kids allowed to get more food 'round here?"

This was originally going to be longer and a one-shot, but it seems like the longer it is here, the longer it takes to load up, you know? I'll connect the chapters after the plot part is done and finished.