What a difference a year makes?

Set one year from the belt incident. After FSOG, no Darker. ( The FSOG triology belogns to E L James. I am just manipulating her characters a little. )

Saturday June 3, 2012

"Anastasia Rose Steele, get your tiny ass down here, we have to go!"

Kate's bellowing is always a pleasant wake up call.

"Kate, I am jet lagged, you can't seriously expect me to come with you and Elliot." I yell down.

I just flew in from Hawaii last night. How she can always be so perky in the morning is beyond me. I know for a fact that she and Elliot did not sleep most of the night. Gees, ever hear of sound proofing? I felt like I was in the room, way too much information. I seriously need to invest in some noise canceling head phones until I get my own place.

Kate's hand waving in front of my face pulls me from La La land. I didn't even notice her come in the room.

"Ana, why are you not dressed? You are the only one that knows that Elliot and I got engaged last night. You are my Maid of Honor, you are required to come to the family brunch. We are announcing the engagement. Everyone will be there. My family, the Greys, even your dad."

"What!" I shout.

"Surprise!" Kate states proudly.

I feel the blood drain from my face.

"Ana, what is the problem? I thought you would be excited. You have been gone for a year. I am the only one that has seen you and that is because I have followed you. Ray has been coming to the family brunches once a month. He was alone. Ray and Christian have really bonded."

I fall back on the Queen size bed in the immaculately decorated guest room of Kate and Elliot's new house. Kate lays down next to me waiting for my answer. It's time to come clean.

"Kate, I haven't seen my dad, the Greys or your family since Christian and I broke up a year ago. I have some things I need to tell my dad in private. I wasn't expecting to see him until I drive down to his house next weekend. Remember when you were in Barbados after graduation with Elliot and your family? When Christian and I broke up, I told you we just didn't fit together. I couldn't fit into his world and we were just too different. Well, that was only part of it….Christian freaked out when I told him I loved him, among other things. He is, I mean, was the first man that I ever felt anything for. He couldn't love me back. I needed to find out who I was, if there was something wrong with me. I needed to find me and be happy with that person. I had to love myself before I could be with Christian or anyone else."

"You're still in love with Christian!" This is more a statement than question from Kate. With this she starts squealing and jumping on the bed like a toddler.

What have I missed? When did Kate become team Christian?

I throw a pillow at her and knock her on her ass.

"Kate, I thought you hated Christian? You called him Mogul, Control Freak, Money Bags. You would purposely piss him off and said it was like shooting fish in a barrel. What gives? When did you become Team Christian?" At my questioning a deeply sad yet sympathetic look falls over Kates face.

Okay, we are definitely not in Kansas anymore Toto.

"Kate, what have I missed in the last year?" I don't know if I want the answer.

"When Elliot and I got back from Barbados, we were expecting to find you. Instead, we found a note that apologized that you were moving out for the foreseeable future, it said you moved the few boxes you had into a small storage unit and that you were changing your phone number, but I could check in with Ray and I could send you and email if I needed to contact you . You needed to find yourself and you were sorry. I saw RED. Elliot was with me as I sped over to Escala like there was a sale on Jimmy Choo's. I might have ran a few lights. I was ready to castrate Christian, I have seen my grandfather do it to the bulls on his ranch, and I doubt it is that much different for a human. Elliot wasn't too happy either, but he was trying to talk me down. Anyway, we got to the penthouse and Christian was sitting in his office. The room smelled horrendous, you could tell that a lot of alcohol had been consumed but nothing else. Christian was at his desk with this little model plane that he put together. I was told it isn't a plane, it is a Blanik L23. Sitting in front of him was a note that you'd written him, a book of correspondence, all your and Christian's emails and text messages printed out and bound, an Ihop receipt. Plus there were some clothes; a skirt and top that was neatly folded but not washed, apparently you wore it home from Georgia. Some weird silver balls, a box of your favorite tea, there were a bunch of pictures of the two of you and bunch of other things that reminded him of you. It was like a shrine to Ana. If I didn't know better, I would think he was a stalker."

Listening to Kate, Ana remembered all of Christian's amazing stalking abilities. Had he used them this past year? What had he seen?

"Kate, what happened?"

"In any case, he looked miserable. The look in his eyes broke my heart. I knew that whatever happened had hurt him just as bad. He wasn't eating and the only water he'd been having was in the form of ice with his alcohol. He has an issue with food and people not eating, yet he was punishing himself for whatever happened between the two of you. His last meal was some Pasta dish with you the Friday you returned from Savannah, that was almost two weeks before. "

With that, I start crying. I tried to hold them back -the tears- but it is useless. I did the same thing. I didn't eat for days. I went to SIP for only one day and that solidified my decision to leave. Once I left Seattle I made myself eat, I started to exercise; I didn't know Christian was suffering.

"Poor Christian, how could I have of done that to him?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I question Kate much more forcibly then I mean to.

"Ana, don't you remember? After you left, you changed your number. It took two months before Ray would give it to me. It was four months until you would let me visit you on your around the world excursion. That was with promise that I would not bring up anything about Seattle unless it was about work, Kavanaghs, or Elliot with the caveat that I would leave out the gory sex details. You wouldn't allow me to say his name, let alone tell you about how his world imploded without you."

As I listen to Kate, I realize that I did this. My heart is breaking; I didn't know it could break any more than it had.

"Kate, What happened? Is Christian okay?"

Kate looks uncomfortable like she doesn't want to tell me something. I am guessing that I would've heard on the news if something serious happened to Christian.

Kate's silence is scaring me. My mind is bringing up the worst possibilities.

"Please, Kate, my imagination is probably worse than what you are not telling me, please !" I plead.

"Okay, Taylor made me sign an NDA but I am guessing you know most of this and I know you aren't going to write a tell-all about Christian."

Kate takes a deep breath and I hold mine.

"Christian told us about his mother, the "crack Whore", the pimp, his burns, even things he has never told his therapists. Then he told us about "Mrs. Robinson" as you called It and what happened between them, how she told him that nobody would believe him if he tried to stop it, that he deserved the whips, canes and torture for killing his birth mother. He was the cause of all of his mother's problems. Without him she would still be alive. He was the monster causing problems for the Greys just like his birth mother."

"Christian didn't kill his mother, he was a baby. She was supposed to protect him. He isn't a monster, he is so sweet, so caring, so generous…" I continue to cry, I don't know how much more of this I can take.

" I agree, Christian is a everything you mention. He isn't a monster, although he tried to convince us he was when …. he told us what happened between the two of you and how he didn't deserve someone as sweet and innocent as you. That he can't be loved and doesn't fit in with his perfect family. That nobody can love him. At that point, I threw up all over Christian's very expensive Persian rug. On the plus side, some vomit got on his pants so he finally took a shower and shaved so he didn't look like a caveman with that giant beard. "

"I can't imagine Christian with a beard, he was always so put together. I can imagine a little stubble would look nice on him. He always looked like a runway model that I didn't deserve."

"Seriously, Ana, the two of you had shitting parents. You love each other, you both deserve love. I swear, if I hear either of you say you don't, I will slap you!"

Hugging Kate, "I am sorry, I shouldn't of said that. That is how I felt. I know who I am now! So what happened next?"

"Elliot was enraged that his little brother was raped by the botoxed medusa; He was ready to kill her. Luckily, some giant hulk-like man named Sawyer came out and did a wrestling move on Elliot and knocked him out long enough to calm him down and call in reinforcements. Gail and I tried to convince Christian to go to the hospital to get some fluids and get checked out. He hadn't eaten or gone outside and he seriously looked gaunt, but because of his touch issues he had a panic attack. Lucky for us, Sawyer used that nifty move and both Grey brothers were knocked out and lying on the couches."

I am sure I looked terrified that the Grey brothers had been incapacitated.

"Don't worry, it has something to do with pressure points. It only knocked them out for a few minutes and they woke up much calmer. Taylor called Grace, Dr. Flynn and Carrick. It was crazy; Grace was in full doctor mode. Within 30 minutes, she had everything she needed to get Christian taken care of; IV's, meds, you name it. Christian was so dehydrated he was on bed rest for a week. It took several more days to get him to start to eat. I guess he is his own worst enemy. He could have seriously damaged his heart, liver, kidney you get the drift. Grace and Carrick took a leave of absence from each of their jobs for a month. Although, technically Christian didn't, he didn't see anything GEH related unless it needed a signature. Even then, GEH lawyers, Ros, and Carrick went over it and Christian just signed when needed. Ros took care of most things. Flynn had daily sessions with Christian and some extra with his family. I even went to one because I am best friends with you, and Flynn had some questions."

Questions about me, interesting, I will have to ask her about that later.

As Kate continues to explain how the Greys rallied around Christian and how in time she became friends with him. There have been changes all around. Apparently Christian is still in intensive focus based therapy. I wonder what he is focused on? The playroom has been destroyed and turned into a gym. Christian is starting to realize that his family is not going anywhere.

I wonder what happened to the Bitch troll?

Just as I am about to ask, Kate insists that we need to get ready to go

"Kate, I don't know about this. I love you like the sister I never had, but I don't know if I can do this, if I can see Christian just yet. What if he brings a date? You have told me so much. I have so much to absorb. What if his family hates me for causing his breakdown? I have spent the past year working on me, what if he doesn't like the new me? I have nothing to wear."

With that, Kate interrupts my rambling, "Ana, you are coming! End of story. Christian has not dated anyone since you left. He will be excited. He has no idea you are here. Nobody blames you, trust me we have had many discussions and you are definitely not the cause. So much more has happened, but right now, we need to go celebrate Elliot and I getting engaged. That is, if you and Christian can pull yourself away from each other? He is going to be so surprised. "

I remember Christian's stalker tendencies and I am not sure about that. Kate is staring me down. I know I am not getting out of this one, I might as well save my energy. I do want to see my dad. I need to remember everything I have learned about myself over the past year.

"Give me ten minutes and I will be down stairs. I missed you and I am so excited to be home!" I hug my best.

I have not made the last year easy on anyone and it seems like it was equally difficult in Seattle.

I take the quickest shower of my life, put on a floral summer dress I got while in Hawaii and put a Hibiscus flower clip in my hair, with my hair flowing down my back. A little bit of lip gloss and mascara and I am done. I think I look hot. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I will not melt into a puddle at Christian's feet. I am not feeling that confident in the last one.

I get downstairs and Elliot and Kate are making out.

Do they think that they can merge into one person? I seriously need my own place.

"Okay, love birds, let's go!"

Nothing.. It is like I am not even here.

"I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch!" With that, the love birds detach from one another.

We hop into my rental car. Why did it have to be an Audi? Seriously, the sub special; At least mine is a convertible.

I shake my head trying to rid myself of the memory.

The drive to Bellevue is quiet, if you don't mind the soundtrack of soft porn coming from the love birds in the back seat. I will just pretend it is an episode of Game of Thrones, where is a white walker when you need one? Can I at least get a Dragon for putting up with this?

Finally we pull up to the Greys' beautiful estate. I honestly never thought I would be here again.

As we are getting out of the car, my phone starts to vibrate with a message from my publicist.

***Change of plans, Book Release Tomorrow! Pre- Orders are through the roof on amazon and breaking records. Get ready for book signing tour. 3 IE***

***Publisher nixed the penname idea. He loves that the book is coming from a Russian princess. Lol 3 IE***

"What the hell!" I am leaning against the car. I can't move.

How did this happen. Nobody was supposed to know. What am I going to do?

Elliot and Kate notice that I haven't followed them toward the house and return to me.

"Ana Banana, what is wrong? You are white as a ghost. I know Christian will be excited to see you." Elliot says, I give Kate an evil glare.

Elliot is so care free; I know he is trying to help. I try to pacify him.

"I will be in the house in a few minutes, I just need to handle some work stuff." Elliot hugs me, kisses Kate, ( get a room!) and walks inside.

Kate regards me for second and I really am not in the mood for the Kavanagh inquisition after this morning, so I just hand over my phone and lean against the car and close my eyes. Maybe I can magically fly away.

The squeal that Kate lets out is loud enough that I expect to see some dogs running towards us.

"This is incredible, Ana, why aren't you celebrating?"

"Kate, the past year I was traveling and trying to find myself. I worked as a freelance author for some magazines and newspapers. I was also traveling to research BDSM around the world. I spoke to couples that have been together for over 30 years. I went to clubs, I interviewed people, I went to one convention that was pretty strange. I spoke to Dominants and submissive in all walks of life. People you would never expect. I took all that information and I wrote a book that was supposed to be published later in the month under my penname. Instead, the publisher and my agent have decided that since erotica is such a hit right now, and pre-sales have sky rocketed, the book is being released tomorrow. How can I go inside and tell everyone, including my dad, that I wrote an erotic BDSM love story, and by the way, I got a Master's Degree in Women and gender Sexuality?"

"You just did, Annie."

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit , that voice.

"Hi Daddy." I know I must be blushing like a lobster.

Apparently sometime during my ranting to Kate, I didn't notice EVERYONE came outside.

They are all getting cow bells for Christmas to put around their necks so I can hear when they are coming out. Damn they are a bunch of stealthy ninjas. No more sneaking up on me people!

The Kavanaghs, the Greys, my dad, Taylor, Gail, and Christian are all staring at me.

I really don't know what to say or how to read everyone's faces. All the ladies are blushing, not quite as bad as me. Elliot is jumping up and down, I know the next thing he says is going to embarrass me even more than I already am, if that is even possible. My dad is giving me that dad stare that says, why am I just hearing this for the first time? Not exactly something I want to discuss on the phone with my father, actually I don't want to discuss it ever! Who would? Most of the men are staring at their feet as if their shoes are the most interesting things in the world.

Then there is Christian; the man that has made up my dreams and nightmares for the past year. He always had a great poker face but his eyes are telling me something different. I don't know if this is going to go good or bad.

Should I get back in my car? Can we go back inside and pretend they didn't hear anything? Where is Michael J. Fox and that nifty DeLorean, I could really use a time machine.

Just as I am about to make a run for it, I hear that silky smooth voice that still makes me melt. "Anastasia, we need to talk, please come with me."

My memory of Christian has not done him justice. If possible he is even more handsome. He has definitely been working out. OMG… How did I walk away from that?

Christian reaches for my hand and I contemplate whether to take it or not. As always, I am mesmerized by his eyes. Somehow they look different. He still has that broken look, and it's almost as if it has gotten worse. I wonder if he has been sleeping.

Christian is still holding out his hand. I am acutely aware that nobody has moved or said anything. I think a few people are holding their breaths.

I place my hand in Christian's hand and follow him around towards the back yard.

Once we are out of sight, I swear that I hear cheering. Our families are so weird.

That tingly feeling that has always been present for only Christian comes out from the year long hibernation.

"Where are we going?" I stupidly ask.

Why does my IQ seem to drop when I am in Christian's proximity? I have heard that men have all their blood go to their penises so they can't use both their brain and dick at the same time. What is my body's excuse?

"Boathouse, we need to talk!"

Why didn't I slash my tires when I had the chance?

The memories of Christian that I try to bury on a daily basis are refusing to be ignored.

We walk into the boathouse and Christian's lips find mine. It is a kiss like never before. I pour a year worth of yearning into the kiss and it feels like Christian is doing the same thing.

We move over to the couch and Christian sits. I try to leave a little space between us so that my brain will function but Christian pulls me onto his lap. I know that we need space to talk but this feels so right.

Christian is rubbing my back with one hand and holding my face with the other. I guess he really didn't know I was coming.

"Anastasia, as much as I would love to never leave this room, I am pretty sure that our families will be waiting for us. Where have you been? What did you do? A book, sex clubs, a Master's degree. Please, tell me what I have missed?" Christian is imploring me and I don't know if he will like everything he hears.

I pull him into another deep kiss; my hands are twisting in his hair. I need at least one more kiss. Who knows what will happen. Please Christian don't go thermonuclear.

"Well, after I left the penthouse…."

A/N: This was my first time writing and I wasn't sure where to leave off. I originally wrote this as a group one- shot challenge. I have decided that I will

be completing this story. More to come very soon. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Thank you to my betas Hofit and Indolent Eden you are both

amazing. SdaiyS thank you for all of your awesomeness. I don't think I would of had the courage to post this if you hadn't done the challenge and all your

encouragement. Thank you to everyone in the FB group FSoG Fanafic Obsessed. It is wonderfully supportive group of Fanfic authors, readers and friends.