Chapter 1
They walked across the playground. Tom slumped down on the park bench and stuck his hands in his pockets. Mark sat down beside him and did the same. They sat in silence for a while, staring into the pitch black sky. Their hot breath created steam clouds every time they breathed, and each time the little clouds swirled away into the night air.
"It's freezing." Tom said.
Mark didn't reply. He looked at the floor and kept his eyes there for a while. After a couple of minutes, Tom spoke again, but seemed to be very carefully trying not to look at Mark.
"Mark. I'm sorry. But it wasn't exactly my fault." His voice was cold. "It wasn't, okay? I didn't realise that your mom was home. Look it's just as much your fault as mine." His tone became more frustrated. Mark glanced to his right to look at Tom, just as Tom moved his head to stare back. Their eyes met for a second, and then they both looked away at the same time.
Mark shouldn't have let it go that far, he shouldn't have. But… Tom was hard to resist, even he had to admit it.
He was annoyed. He didn't even know why. He was annoyed at himself for letting things go too far, and annoyed at Tom for not thinking about what effect this could have on their lives. Yet, he was annoyed at his mom for ruining a beautifully perfect moment.
His mind was confused and his brain hurt. This must be what falling in love feels like, he thought to himself. You're get carried away so that it feels like nothing else matters. Love is so selfish.
He wondered if Tom was having the same thoughts as he was.
Mark knew that what they had was special. There was no denying it. And he knew it was what he wanted. But he wasn't sure if it was what he needed, or if it was what was right.
He turned his head to look at Tom. His messy, jet black hair blew gently in the breeze, and his black eyes stared into the night. His eyes had so much depth. His perfect cheekbones were sculpted and sexy, and he had a strong jawline.
Tom snapped Mark out of his trance by looking at him. He smiled. Mark looked away. Tom sighed and his smile faded.
"Look, what is your problem, Mark? Just answer me please; this silence is driving me crazy."
Mark sighed. When he spoke his voice was dry from lack of speech.
"What do you want me to say?"
"Tell me what the problem is."
"You know what the fucking problem is." His words were harsh but he spoke them calmly and in a defeated manner. Tom remained silent, so he continued.
"My parents will disown me. They'll literally fucking disown me and I'll have no one and nothing."
"You'll have me." Tom said, looking at him. Oh god, Tom's voice was so deep and sexy. When he spoke it was almost a whisper. Tom took his hand slowly out of his coat pocket and rested it open on Mark's knee. Mark stared at it. Without looking at Tom he slowly pulled his own hand out and took Tom's. He squeezed his hand tightly.
"I know." And really, that was all he wanted. All he wanted was Tom. Nothing mattered anymore. There were no real feelings of regret after what had happened. Mark knew that he just wanted Tom to stay with him. Through thick and thin. To be there with him at all times. His presence was enough to make Mark go crazy. But it was what kept him living. He didn't want to live without Tom.