Title: Caramel Corn, Carnival Games, Karaoke and...Autobots?

Author: Mademoiselle Juko Pax-Prime

Rating: PG

Summary: Sam and Mikaela convince Optimus, Ironhide, Ratchet, and Bumblebee to participate in a school fundraiser.

Content/Warnings: Dorkiness.

Feedback: Makes me happy and possibly better.

Spoilers: None, really.

Disclaimer: I do not and never will own Transformers. This was made purely for fun.

"I think I may just murder you in your sleep," Ironhide informed Sam and Mikaela grimly, as he activated his holoform (which looked remarkably like Gerard Butler) and the three of them got out. The two teenagers had, after much pleading, convinced Ironhide, Optimus, Ratchet and Bumblebee to accompany them to a school fundraiser. Optimus, Bumblebee and Ratchet pulled in beside the black GMC Topkick and their holoforms stepped out. Several students passing by gaped at Optimus' huge truck form.

"Touch it and die," his holoform snapped at the students. Sam looked at him in surprise. The holoform shrugged its broad shoulders. "I would prefer they don't try to tamper with me."

"Yes, I agree. I think I had enough problems with Bumblebee's vocal processors, thank you," said Ratchet's holoform (whose looks were reminiscent of Hugh Jackman). Bumblebee's holoform, thin, blonde and adorable, grinned at Ratchet.

"But they're fixed now, right?" he said. His voice was low and raspy, totally unfitting to his appearance. Ratchet gave him an appraising look.

"More or less."

"Well, let's get going," said Optimus.

Over the course of the next hour, the six of them played every game in the cafeteria (Ironhide excelled at the aim-and-shoot games), entered a dance contest (which Bumblebee totally owned and during which Optimus looked like he would like nothing better than to strangle the girls hosting the contest), and looked at weird things floating in jars in one of the science rooms.

"Let's see what's in the gym," said Mikaela, already setting off towards it. Sam and the Autobots followed her without question. Sam was munching caramel corn, and Ratchet was watching him with an odd look on his face.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Humans eat the oddest things." Ratchet shook his head. Sam shrugged as they walked into the large gym. Ironhide swore loudly.

"There is no way I'm participating in this," he said to Mikaela. Without missing a beat, she replied,

"In that case, you get to go first."

"Who wants to go next?" called a tall boy with blonde spiky hair.

"He does!" Mikaela shouted, pointing at Ironhide. "He loves singing!" The blonde-haired boy grinned, and Mikaela pushed Ironhide towards him.

"So you know how karaoke works, right?" he asked, and Ironhide nodded, wearing an expression that suggested murderous thoughts. "Great! What's your name?" The students in the gym had quieted down, so that they could hear them. Ironhide hesitated a fraction of a second.

"Jack," he said.

"Okay, Jack, go ahead and pick a song—"

"I'll pick his song," said Sam, grinning from ear to ear. Ironhide shot him a look that clearly said 'I am going to slit your throat', but Sam ignored it and skimmed through the songs. Then, his face lit up. "Have fun, Jack," he said, selecting a song and walking back to Bumblebee (who was laughing hysterically), Mikaela (who was clearly enjoying Ironhide's misery), Ratchet and Optimus (who were both suppressing smiles with difficulty).

"What song did you give him?" asked Bumblebee, between gasps for air.

"You'll see," said Sam. He popped a piece of sweet, sticky popcorn in his mouth, then fed one to Mikaela.

"Let's have some fun, this beat is sick…" Mikaela choked on the piece of popcorn. Bumblebee was clutching his stomach, tears of Energon running down his cheeks. Ratchet was laughing as well, and Optimus was grinning now, suppressing laughter. Ironhide would have glared at them, but he had to keep his eyes on the lyrics.

"...but if I do then I might miss you babe," Ironhide sang. He was a pretty bad singer, although that might have been on purpose. However, that just made the whole scene funnier.

"He's going to hurt you, Sam," said Ratchet. Sam shrugged, holding his phone higher so that he could capture Ironhide's performance on video.

"I think this is worth it," he replied. Other people were laughing now, and Ironhide's knuckles were turning white from clenching the microphone so hard.

"Can I go next?" asked Bumblebee, regaining his composure long enough to look around at Sam.

"If you want to," said Sam. Bumblebee grinned and moved to the front of the small crowd.

Ironhide finished his song to applause. He practically threw the mic back at the spiky-haired boy and stomped back to where Sam and the others were standing.

"I hate all of you," he spat, but Sam could tell he didn't really mean it. He was just mad and embarrassed.

"Bumblebee's up," said Mikaela, pointing. The Camaro's holoform had given his name as Cameron, and was flipping through the music. He picked one pretty quickly, and Sam started a new video for him.

"Far away, this ship is taking me far away…" Students looked shocked that such a raspy voice came from such an adorable young man.

"How did he get so good?" asked Mikaela.

"Maybe it's from speaking through the radio for over a year," said Sam.

"Actually, Bumblebee has been rather talented in this field for many years," said Optimus. "I believe humans call it a 'god-given gift.'"

Bumblebee completed his song to much applause, several cheers, and a few whistles. He was grinning as he went back to the Autobots and Sam and Mikaela.

"That was great, 'Bee," said Mikaela.

"Thanks," he replied. "Who's next?"

Ratchet ended up going up, and Mikaela picked his song with great relish. He was a much better singer than Ironhide, but was below Bumblebee's level. He sang (much to Optimus' amusement) "Whataya Want From Me." Optimus laughed at him when he got back to them, but he quickly fell silent when Mikaela threatened to make him sing "I Kissed A Girl". She picked "The Ballad of Mona Lisa", which fit Optimus' baritone voice rather nicely. Mikaela went after him herself, and sang "Firework", and Sam reluctantly did "Fireflies." As soon as Sam finished, Ironhide dragged them all out of the school and back to the parking lot.

"We are NEVER doing that again," he said, as Sam and Mikaela climbed into Optimus' cab (they were a little scared to ride with Ironhide).

"That's fine. I have something to blackmail you with," said Sam, waving his cell phone.

"I don't think that's wise, boy," said Optimus at once. Sam laughed.

"You're right. I'll just show it to everyone on base anyway."

—

I know. Lame. But the plot bunny (which was more like a plot bunny with chronic rabies) has been bugging me with this for a while. Especially since I had a dream that Ironhide was singing a Lady Gaga song. I don't even know how my brain thought that up; I hate Lady Gaga and her music. Anyway, review, whether it's positive or negative. If it made you laugh, let me know. If you hate it, I understand.

See that blue button? Click it. Primus commands you.