Fuchui
Careless/Carelessness or to be careless
Massao na Mizu
I don't own anything
Review
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"When you do something bad,
The karma will make it ten folds when it hits you."- I don't know where I got it. I just thought of it, I guess.
Prologue- Falling in love; falling out of love
She was nineteen back then, naïve and not much of the person she was now. As they say, somethings never change; but somethings do change.
And so, she met Sesshoumaru, the love of her life. Or supposed to be. He was two years older than her and they had a good term relationship when they were in college, marrying after a year from Graduation.
Being a CEO's son, Sesshoumaru continued his family's business while Kagome cared for the house and such.
So this is a story of what I think would happen, if Kagome would fall out of love from Sesshoumaru and loves Naraku…
She smiled at the sleeping figure beside her, covered in a layer of blanket. Kissing the forehead of the man, she cuddled nearer and he opened his arm to let her in his small bundle.
"What time will you be home?" She asked him in a soft voice and for a moment, he did not answer; his eyes were still closed. She caressed his cheek and kissed it softly.
"What time?" she asked again. He fumbled, pulling her tighter to him.
"I'm not sure, but you don't have to wait." he said in a sleepy voice. She accepted his answer and went back to sleep, only to be awakened an hour later.
She kissed him in the cheek and bid him goodbye. He did the same and walked out of the house, driving off his car. She smiled as she watched him drove off. She'll be happy here. Glad to be with him.
That night, she had slept late, trying to wait for him. But sadly, he didn't come home until three in the morning.
Months passed and a visit in her doctor informed her she was carrying a child. She had immediately informed him that she was due in eight months.
"That's nice." He had said in a gentle voice. "Now we'll have a bundle of joy. And someone's gonna be with you."
She nodded her head and smiled, twirling the wire of the phone in her finger. "So… what time will you be home?" She asked carefully.
She was answered by silence and so she patiently waited for his answer.
"To tell you the truth, my secretary set me up in a meeting tomorrow with my fellow CEO." He said shortly. She bit her lips before asking again.
"Oh. So what time will you be home?" She asked again.
"The CEO lives in China." He pointed out in an amused voice.
Kagome was crestfallen. "Oh. Well then, happy trip." She said as cheerfully as she can muster and hung up. She looked very disappointed as she gazed out her window. How long hasn't she seen her husband? Three months? And he sounded as if he was relieved that he always had an excuse to get away from her.
She shook her head. "What am I saying? He's just busy." She reasoned to herself. "He just doesn't have time. But I'm sure if he had, he'll come to me." With that thought, she plastered a cheery smile on her face and headed downstairs.
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Sesshoumaru looked out his first class' plane's window. How long had it been since he last saw his wife? Three months. And she was now pregnant with their child. He felt guilty for not seeing her. And now that she was pregnant.
He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for not being there for her. 'But she understands… she knows I need to work hard for us.' His reassured himself. Kagome had understood ever since he'd met her. She understood that he had a cold exterior for a reason. She understood when he couldn't be there when she needed him in sometimes, but not much. That was only one factor why he loved her so much. And he couldn't afford to lose her…
So why was he not doing anything to keep her now?
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Eight months passed and it was time to give birth to her first child that turned out to be a girl. (You guessed it.) She had readied a name for her: Rin. She would love her child very much. As much as her mother love her from the past and in the present.
In fact, her mother was right beside her, clutching her hand tightly as she tried to breathe. "Se-Sesshoumaru… where is he?" She asked in a pained voice. Her mother's worried frown deepened. She didn't want to be the one to tell her…
"He-he couldn't make it." She said quietly. Kagome turned her head the other way. She was disappointed… and hurt… Tears flowed down her beautiful cerulean eyes.
He's not going to come… not going to support her in this difficult time… doesn't even care that it's part of him inside her now…
And so, she gave birth to Rin. A healthy baby. Sesshoumaru didn't even visit her when she was in the hospital. Didn't even come to take a peak nor call her. Ask her about the baby or any crap. He was just not there…
'As if he ever was… when I really needed him.' She thought bitterly.
It was four months when Sesshoumaru came home from his trips and visited her. All her bitter thoughts flew out the window as she embraced him, showing him their little bundle of joy. He had kissed Rin in the forehead. He even stayed for two days before leaving again. Of course he, leaving again upset her. But what can she do? She understood that being a CEO is a very important job. You just can't have a timeout from it.
Eight months later…
He missed Rin's birthday. And the sad part was, it was also their anniversary. Kagome had called him on the phone. When he answered, she began to speak, cutting him off. "Don't you realize it's your Daughter's birthday? And if you have forgotten, it's our anniversary! How could you?" She almost shouted at him in a hurt voice.
"Don't you understand that I have a lot on my hands?" He shot back. She rolled her eyes; tears were again blurring her vision.
"Well, I'm not sure anymore. Since your family is not what really matters to you. You know, forget it. You just can't be a father or a husband." She clicked off. She had cried that day, sulking at her room.
Sesshoumaru would try and call her and she would not answer. She needed him… but she wanted him to come in person… sometimes you just really need to see the person you love in person. It's not really enough he calls you and he seldom does that.
So seldom it feels as if she's only his one-night stand. Like he'll only be there when he feels like it.
It had taken months for her to answer the phone and forgave him half-heartedly. You know what they say that it's hard to forgive; and yet it's harder to forget? It's true on her case.
When he returned home, he visited his daughter first and saw that she was playing with Kagome. Kagome seemed to be nineteen year-old again when she was playing with their daughter and she had smiled when she saw him on the doorway, running into his arms, unlike what a twenty-four year old woman would really do.
He kissed her and promised to stay home for a month. Unfortunately, in CEO terms, it meant going home at three o'clock in the morning and spending only seven hours a day in the house. Even though Kagome was a bit hurt, she at least felt better that Sesshoumaru comes home. It was better than nothing.
It was yet another birthday and anniversary of theirs… Sesshoumaru was not present and she was not very affected of this fact. After all, how could she if he's not really there? Sometimes, she even forgets what he looks like. And ever since Rin had started to speak, she would say 'papa' and point at his picture. It was painful to see her child doing that.
Especially when she knew that she would never be really close with her father. Kagome herself did not remember what her father was like for he had died even before she had been old enough to think like she does today. She didn't want that to happen to her child.
But she isn't the one to create her child's destiny.
In fact, sometimes she doubt if she even loves him any more. Thinking if it was only infatuation that brought them together because she had lost her reason why she had married him in the first place.
And so, it was like a daily routine now. When Sesshoumaru does go home, she would not be home or she would sleep with Rin.
She avoided him as much as possible. What was the point? She was always the one trying to make a happy home. She was always the one making an effort not to leave him. And she promised herself: one more chance and if he blows it, she's leaving him for good.
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Some body told me you were leavin,
I didn't know…
Somebody told me you're unhappy
But it doesn't show…
Somebody told me that you don't want me no more
So you're walkin' out the door…
He had lost. He didn't come and she had waited for him. Didn't even bake a cake for she knew he didn't eat cakes and rin doesn't eat them too. So she joined the club.
Actually, it didn't feel bad that she knew she was going to leave… filing a divorce and getting Rin. In fact, she felt relieved because she won't be tied up again with her 'imaginary husband.' Heck, an inflatable husband was better than hers.
When he arrived a week later, she didn't even welcome him. She was on the phone and talking with Sango. She didn't even pay him attention when he was directly in front of her.
"Oh, you're leaving? Well, I'll see you when you get back, okay? When are you going back? This weekend? Okay, bye!" She said cheerfully and walking away to Rin's room. Sesshoumaru was left there, his jaw dropped.
He caught up with her with his long strides and grabbed her arm. She grimaced and yanked her arm off. "Don't touch me." she hissed at him, glaring daggers.
His eyebrows rose. It stabbed him like knives when she said that. "And what exactly did I do this time?" he asked her in a pissed voice.
Kagome mocked a thoughtful look. "Oh I don't know… did you know it was Rin's birthday last week? Of course not! Did you know it was our anniversary? Or did I expect too much?" She almost yelled at him angrily and then she smiled at him. "Still don't have a clue? Then if you don't know, find someone else who's gonna tell you. Coz I give up." She said, her hands rising in mock surrender.
Nobody told me you've been cryin'
Every night…
Nobody told me you've been dyin
But didn't want to fight…
Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me
So I'm settin you free…
Sesshoumaru was confused… give up? "And what exactly do you give up on?" He asked her curtly. She rolled her eyes.
"For someone's who's smart, you're acting like a total dumbo." She told him in an icy voice as she could muster. She was pouring her heart out. Her scarred heart.
"I'm giving up on you. Being your wife and such. I'm filing a divorce and I'm taking Rin with me. You can't raise your child by yourself anyway. I don't want to see her growing up only with her maids… has it ever come occur to you if she even knows you?" she asked, getting Rin and taking her stuff that she had already but in her luggage and drove off.
He was hurt… he was surprised… and most of all, he was guilty.
Let me be the one to break it up
So you won't have to make excuses…
We don't need to find a setup where
Some one wins and someone loses…
We just have to say our love was true
But has now become a lie…
So I'm tellin you I love you one last time…
And good bye…
Kagome hastily wiped tears away from her eyes. How many times has she cried? She had lost count from the several times of doing so. Rin was asking her where they were going and she answered her with the word, "Grandma"
She wanted to have peace. She wanted to be away from that cursed place. She wanted herself to be freed from him.
Just turn around and walk away
You don't have to live like this…
If you love me still then stay
Don't keep me waiting for that final kiss…
We can work together through this test
Or we can work through it apart…
I just need to get this off my chest
That you will always have my heart…
A/N: And the question you read every time you read a fic… drum roll please! (Drum roll) So how as it? Review peeps.