A Drop In the Ocean, a south of nowhere fanfic

Ashley sat at the piano, her fingers playing lightly over keys as her mind wandered to Spencer once again. She couldn't blame her for being mad; Ashley had completely let her down when Spencer needed her most. And then ran to Aiden. Ashley had to learn to live with the regret of all her mistakes, but she was trying to make things right. Hopefully performing this song at Ego tonight would help. She had been working on it ever since Kyla and she had moved into the loft, spending all night at the piano instead of hitting the clubs with her sister. Aiden had gotten so annoyed with her obsession that they'd had a huge fight and broken up. Not that Ashley was really that upset about it, but it was pretty lonely night after night. It did give her inspiration…that and her muse, whose picture was sitting on top the piano. Ashley stopped playing to pick up the frame that held the only person she'd ever really been in love with. It was her favorite picture of the blonde, a candid photo Spencer probably didn't know existed. When Ashley had been going through an artistic stage last year, she grew a bit obsessed with photography and constantly carried a camera with her. She had taken the photo one day at school, when she was on her way to join Spencer in the quad. Spencer had been sitting on top of the table, just soaking in the sun and smiling and Ashley couldn't miss the opportunity to capture the girl looking so relaxed and happy. Ashley sighed as she set the frame back down, wishing things had stayed the same, that prom had never happened, that she had never gone to Europe…but there was no use wasting time wishing. Spencer had made it clear her and Ashley couldn't be anything more than friends, at least for now. While Ashley was grateful for that, she couldn't help but hold onto hope that her and Spencer would one day find themselves together again. She knew she would never find anyone else who had the same effect Spencer did on her. So she would just have to wait until Spencer was ready to let her in again. Ashley only helped laying her feelings out there tonight would help speed up the process. Patience was not something that came easy to her.

Ashley stared into the crowd as she walked across the stage to the waiting piano. With no sign of Spencer, she couldn't help feeling dejected. When she invited her, Spencer didn't say she would definitely be there but that she'd think about it. Ashley had been hoping she would come even if it was just to support her as a friend. As she sat down, she took a deep breath and grabbed the microphone. "Hey guys, I'm Ashley Davies." The crowd cheered loudly, most of them knowing her or at least knowing who her father was. "This is only my second time playing at Ego but hopefully there'll be more to come" she paused, searching for Spencer again but not seeing the blonde in the crowd, "I, uh, I wrote this song for someone special, to let them know how much they mean to me and that I'll never give up on them." Here goes nothing, Ashley thought as her fingers started gliding across the ivory keys, finding their place and hitting the notes as she began to sing, closing her eyes as she started the song.

Started farewells when I walked through the door
I'm too out of breath for hellos anymore
Been biding my time waiting on you to return
I'm trying to learn how to live with regret
Just too many times I couldn't forget
There's a ghost in my house
Wind rushing clean through my hands

Sometimes I don't believe in anything
So many things I never knew
I may seem lost but know this I swear is true
I will wait for you

As Ashley finished the first chorus, she opened her eyes and locked onto baby blue orbs that were watching from the first row. Her heart jumped and she almost lost her control, but managed to keep the song going as she kept her eyes on the blonde, hoping Spencer could see the truth in the words she was singing.

Now I'm wandering here at the edge of the world
And I haven't got much, just a pen and some words
And a picture of us I chased when it caught in the breeze
Been cursing the dark as I lay here alone
And I'm learnng some things I wish I didn't know
And I'm praying for sleep, salvation, or somewhere to go

Ashley closed her eyes again for the chorus, not wanting Spencer to see the hurt and longing behind them just yet.

Sometimes I don't believe in anything
So many things I never knew
I may seem lost but know this I swear is true
I will wait for you

Ashley opened her eyes and sang the next part with everything she had, still directing the words to Spencer, who hadn't looked away yet.

I won't go until you make me go

Away

Sometimes I don't believe in anything
So many things I never knew
I may seem lost but know this I swear is true
I will wait for you

Ashley sat at the piano, letting her hands fall to her sides at the end of the song. The crowd was silent at first and then erupted in cheers and cat calls. Her face split into a smile, glad that they had enjoyed her music and proud of what she'd written, but when she turned to look for Spencer, the blonde was gone. Ashley said her thanks and wished the next performer luck as she stepped off the stage and headed to the bar, desperately needing a drink. Before she could order anything, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, expecting a fan telling her how awesome she was or some groupie who wanted to be with the local "rockstar" for the night, but to her surprise it was Spencer.

"You were really great up there," Spencer said with a smile, "You'll be touring around the world before you know it!"

Ashley chuckled at this, thinking back to when that had been her dream but now…now all she wanted was to be with this amazing girl who had forever changed her and made her into a person she could be proud to be. "I think I'll pass on that. I've still got a year of high school to finish and then college," Ashley replied.

Spencer's brows knitted in confusion. "What? I thought you were going to get your GED now that you got your inheritance…and college? Who are you and what have you done with Ashley Davies?"

"Hahaha, very funny. I decided college would probably be a good idea, you know have a backup plan. I love music, but I can't see myself touring my whole life like my dad did. I want to be there for my family, for my kids, watch them grow up and all that." Ashley ducked her head, suddenly shy sharing her plans. "I was thinking of getting a music degree and opening my own studio, working with the artists to write and produce songs. As for high school, well there are some people there who make it worth my time to go."

Spencer didn't miss what Ashley was insinuating, smiling as a blush crept across her cheeks.
"That's great, Ash. It sounds like you have everything figured out." She tilted Ashley's head up with her hand, forcing Ashley to make eye contact again. "I'm so proud of you." Ashley gave her signature nose crinkle smile and put her hand on Spencer's before turning serious.

"You know that song was for you, right?" Spencer nodded and Ashley continued "I meant every word. I'm sorry for everything and I know you just want to be friends now and that's fine I mean I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all but I just can't help…" Spencer's fingers on her lips stopped Ashley's rambling.

"Will you let me talk for a second?" Spencer asked, continuing when Ashley nodded, "I understand why you left. I wish you wouldn't have but I get it. And I know you've changed. But I'm still not ready to completely let you back in. I'm terrified you're going to hurt me again, but I know you won't. Someday, soon maybe, I'll be ready to… love you again but I'm not yet." Spencer finished, giving Ashley a sad smile. Ashley wrapped her in a huge, her heart leaping with hope. "I know you aren't ready yet, but I'll still be here waiting whenever you're ready. I'll wait for you." Spencer gave her a kiss on the check, then grabbed Ashley's hand and tugged her over to their group of friends. It wasn't quite what Ashley was hoping for, but it was a beginning.