Prologue
I could feel the tears running down my face as he holds me to him and tries to kiss them away. "Bella, I love you so much! I wish I could spend forever with you, here, in my arms."
I look up at him, my Adonis, my love, my Edward, my mate. If only I could tell him. "I know…but I promise I'll never be far."
I reach my hand to his hair, running my fingers through it. We both know it's time. He closes his eyes and shivers as leans his head against my chest. I lean forward to kiss him on his forehead; I can feel him shaking. "I won't be far Edward…I love you."
EPOV
I can feel her tears on me as she whispers her words of love; and then…nothing.
I don't want to open my eyes because I know when I do it will all be gone, as it has been every time for the last 100 years. Every vampire wishes they could dream, and yet I do all the time. The sad difference is that those vampires, who want to dream, normally have something going for them in their real lives, and all I have are my dreams. The paid of this difference overcome me, the dry sobs take over my body; I scream and shout her name as I destroy the earth beneath my feet.
After I've been drained from my despair, I compose myself and run to meet my family for a hunt. They can never know about my love or my pain. Its hurts enough to know she's not real, I don't know what I would do if they found out how insane I really am.
BPOV
It hurts so much! Every time we met the pain of saying goodbye hurt extensively more than the last.
The worst part for me wasn't that I knew it would end, or even that Edward thought I was a figment of his imagination; but that every time his "dreams" ended he would shut himself off from me. The worst feeling in the world is seeing your mate crumble before you and all you can do is stand by and watch.
Chapter 1
EPOV
As I'm running to meet my family I tried to think back on how it all began.
Every vampire knows the pain of turning. The feeling of fire in your veins as you burn alive from within. Many, like me, feel as though Hell has come to swallow us whole. The real torment however, is when you wake up from the fire to only realize that turning isn't Hell; it's only the gate you use to enter into it. For many, their Hell begins when they awake to feel the fire scorching their throat without any means to cool the flame. For me, Heaven and Hell began at the same time and place.
According to Carlisle, my father had died from the Spanish Influenza and my mother and I were about to follow him. Fearful for my safety, my mother begged Carlisle to do what no other doctor in the hospital could do and save her son. Filled with grief from spending his existence alone, and compassion from my mother, he decided to turn me.
I felt the flames as they entered my body; I felt the fire as they consumed my soul. What I didn't expect; however, was the pure joy, peace and love that followed as surely as it all began.
Just as I had thought I would be burned alive I was visited by an angel with long brown hair, gorgeous brown eyes and a smile that could light up the world. She wore a royal blue dress that looked to be from a time before my own.
"Beautiful," I whispered in awe, "are you an angel?" Surely, this beauty that saved me must come from Heaven.
Laughter rang from her lips in response to my question.
"I am not an angel, although, my appearance may make me look like one." She gave a bittersweet smile when she saw my confusion.
"Shortly, my love you will wake up and realize that the world you left is not the same. You will return to it with new eyes and see things differently than before. You will also feel the pain of fire in your throat. When this happens do not fear for I will be with you always and I will help you through it. All you need to do when you want to find me is open your heart and your mind to my voice."
I couldn't fully comprehend the words she was saying or the truth behind them at that time. I could only focus on her sweet voice and the bell like sound that came from it. Never in my life could I duplicate the beauty of it; and believe me I would try for a hundred years.
I found then that I had to strive to hear her. The music of her voice was all of a sudden gone. I could see her lips moving, trying desperately to share something with me, but all I heard was silence. In her desperation tears started running down her face.
"Angels shouldn't cry," I told her.
She smiled at me with so much love and then asked me a question that I would always answer with a yes; "If I could make it so that we could always be together would you want that; would you want me?"
I told her that I would do whatever I could to be with her, for I never felt so much alive and relaxed at the same time. Her response and actions however, I never understood. She leaned over, kissed my throat and then dragged her tongue down from my throat to my heart; leaving a trail of fire ten times more painful than turning ever could be. As I screamed out in pain she kissed my forehead and said, "I won't be far Edward…I love you."
In that moment I found my Hell in her induced pain, and my Heaven from the love poured from her lips.