"Harry Potter and the Return of the Jedi"

Chapter 1

Harry Potter had just completed his NASA training and was preparing for the launch of the ship Discovery later that morning. He saw Ron as he made his way onto the ship.

"Yo, Harry? What's the dilio?" he said going like this: ›-‌‌()-‹

"Hey buddio! Wazup? You pumped to go into space and shit?"

"Hell yeah!"

And then they got on board.

--OOER--

As they approached a galaxy far, far away they hit a black hole and were pulled into a long, long time ago.

When they hit the hole, Ron screamed, "DUDE! OMG! WTF!"

They suddenly heard a high, cold voice behind them and saw a skinny, hooded figure approaching them. "Blast! Bloody hell, I say!"

"Who the hell are you?" cried Harry.

"Dude, Potter, don't you know me by now?"

Harry gasped, "Voldemort!"

"You can call me Voldey."

"Sweet!" shouted Harry, "Give me some skin, man!"

They slapped their hands together in friendship. Ron said, "Dude…I thought you guys, like, hated each other."

"Um, YEAH, we did. But times change, bro," replied Harry.

They suddenly heard the pilot cry "HOLY FUCKK! Where the bloody hell did that come from?"

Ron looked out the window and went like: ‹ö›

They were about to hit a ginormous ship! Don Don DAAAAA+music crescendos+

--OOER--

Harry, Ron and Voldey were floating out in space because in panic, they had jumped out the open window, which magically expanded to suit their needs.

Now they all went like: ‹ö›

After a while, Ron went "OOF!" as he bumped into a ship the size of a small planet. The neon green letters on the side told them the ship was called the Death Star.

Ron and Harry looked at each other, nodding. Ron said, "Dude."

And Harry went, "Sweeeeet."

And Voldey went "Kewlio."

--OOER--

The trio found a hole in the ship and fell neatly into a room. "Coolness," said Harry.

"Who's that?" asked Voldey, pointing vaguely at a figure approaching them rapidly.

"Who am I?" asked the figure, "I'm Luke Skywalker, jedi knight!" He drew his light saber.

Harry, reacting defensively, drew his wand and pointed it at Luke.

Luke laughed loudly, "HOHOHO! Dude, you've just got a stick!"

"That's what you think!" cried Harry, "Lightsaberus!" His wand magically transformed into a green light saber.

"DUDE!" Shouted Ron, going like this: v()v

"I know!" Harry shouted back, nodding. Harry and Luke immediately engaged in a fierce light saber battle to the death. But no one died.

Because Voldey said, "Stop! Stop! Luke," he said, suddenly breathing heavily, "I am your father."

Luke stared at him and narrowly dodged Harry's vicious swing at him. "Are you for real?" he asked Voldey.

"Hells yeah, I am!"

Luke looked suspicious for a moment, but then went, "Aw, dude," and gave him a hug.

Enter Darth Vader.

"Luke, dude, I'M your father, remember?"

Luke was confuzzled. He went like: ſΘ

Suddenly, Voldey and Darth Vader were locked in a fight to the death. But no one died.

Because Ron went, "DUDES! I'm all y'all's father!"

Harry was like, "Dude?"

And then Ron went, "Dude, your mom's hot."

--OOER--