-I posted this fanfic before, but took it off after some time. Eventually I realized I still liked it and I pulled up the word document it was saved on and made a few revisions to it. And thus here it is, barely better than it was before. --;; And, just by the way, Thesis's name is pronounced with a 'short e'.-
.hackDISARRAY
-I do not own Kite, Blackrose, Balmung, DDR, the can-can, or .hack in general. But I do own Thesis and this fanfic n.n-
Chapter One: Thesis and the Dot Hackers
An avid player of "The World", maybe 16 years of age, swore loudly as he checked his mail on the online RPG, refraining from busting the screen of his computer in with a spork that sat just a few inches away. There was another e-mail from the player that had repeatedly e-mailed him since the day they met and that day had just been yesterday. Plus, even more e-mails spiraled down the screen so that the scrollbar was only about a decimeter thick.
"Why won't this bastard stop e-mailing me!" Thesis, as he was called in "The World", yelled angrily, taking his infuriation out on the wall parallel from the computer desk, more swears escaping his lips in a frenzy.
The irksome player who kept e-mailing him had found out about the fact that he had illegally modified his character and thus continuously started sending mails about how he's going to report him to the Crimson Knights. And getting over 100 e-mails from the same person in the last two days was...irritating. One would think he'd eventually run out of things to say. By what the messages said, he probably had, and was just now typing the exact same message right down to the placement of the apostrophes and spelling mistakes.
Thesis stopped kicking the wall, it hurt like mad since he wasn't wearing any shoes, and sat back down in the spinny chair infront of his computer. Calmly, he put back on the headset and started typing up a reply to the player whose name was a jumble of numbers that seemed to have just been pressed randomly for lack of a better username. Quickly, Thesis sent the e-mail then turned caps lock off before finally logging into "The World".
------------------
In the root town of Mac Anu a golden ring appeared in the air then was brought down to the ground by some invisible force followed by two others before all disappeared into nothing. Standing where the rings were no more was a male wavemaster with pale lavender hair bound in a loose ponytail that reached his waist and odd silver eyes with a hint of marroon around the pupils. Ebony robes with silver markings up the sides and around the ends of the sleeves scraped across the ground as Thesis fought his way through the crowds, nearly being decapitated by the same blade master on several occasions.
Large, demonic wings adorned his back, slightly folded around his body. The slightly transparent membrane had a few holes in it and there were traces of blood in the form of faded red splotches.That was the simple modification he made that the player, 52784584, was threatening to tell the Crimson Knights about. He didn't understand what was so bad about it and took his frustration out on the nearest player by hitting her with his staff. Leaving the player in the daze, he kept walking, thinking of different things as he stared at the ground.Thesis was knocked out of thought though as a scream of pain cut through the virtual air of the Root Town only a foot away from where he was standing.
"What?" he blinked in confusion and looked up at whoever had screamed since his staff had stabbed it in the eye. It happened to be the famous hacker, Kite, and the scantily dressed heavy blade, Blackrose, as Thesis quickly noticed. The wavemaster just stood there, not bothering to remove his staff from the squirming Kite, but just stood there staring, staring at Blackrose's breasts. His free hand twitched with a yearning to just reach out and touch them...
"Dirty pervert!" she yelled storming over to him and stomping on his foot, but that wasn't what she was planning on doing. The heavy blade was going to chop him into little, bite-sized pieces and make sushi! Raw player couldn't be all that different from raw fish.
"Ow! My foot already hurts from kicking the wall over and over while wearing no shoes!"Thesis picked up a rock that was on the ground and chucked it at Blackrose only to miss and hit the hacker who was pulling the staff out of his eye.
Looking at him oddly she asked,"And why were you kicking the wall?" But she never received an answer.
The wavemaster had taken the liberty of ungouging his staff whose silver was turning into crimson, and started poking Kite in the arm,"This thing is even better than a stick," Thesis commented to himself, surprised at the useless fact.
"Really?" Blackrose brightened up and started poking the seemingly dead twin blade, but with her overlyhuge sword since she couldn't use his staff. But after a pokes that couldn't really be called pokes but stabs instead, she ended up cutting his entire arm off so it lay twitching slightly in a puddle of blood."Oops.."
Picking up the arm that was damp with blood, Thesis turned to the sweatdropping female."You killed him.He's going to die of blood loss, but I think he already has," he said in a blank tone and looking rather serious.
Tears began to swell up in Blackrose's eyes as she began sobbing over Kite's body, her tears splattering on the blood sodden body of the famous dot hacker. Her sword, the murder weapon, was discarded somewhere behind her, its edge stained red like her hands and knees. Sighing, the wavemaster stood up, the bottom of his black robes swimming in the thick red liquid seeping from where the arm was severed.
"There he is! The wavemaster who illegally modified his character!And now he's become a PK!" The leader of a small mob of Crimson Knights suddenly exclaimed, ruining the moment between Kite and Blackrose, and pointed the tip of his sword towards the group of three, one dead.
"Meep!" Thesis took a step back, leather boots sinking into the blood of the famous dot hacker, however, Blackrose seemed unfazed by their existance.Glaring at him, the heavy blade hit him in the back of the head with her sword, knocking him to the ground.
Snarling, she placed the sharp edge of her blade to the nervous wavemaster's neck."Heal Kite now!" Blackrose demanded with narrowed eyes."I will not get sued again due to the fact you never healed him!"
Thesis laughed nervously as warm blood trickled down his throat and pointed to the Red Element Knights who were steadily getting closer."Well, I can't exactly do anything while your sword is pressed against my neck and those damn knights want to kill me for illegally modifying my character to have those wings you're standing on!"
If looks could kill, he would already have gone to heaven only to be rejected and sent to a little place we like to call hell, "Heal...Kite..NOW!" Blackrose was now standing on the wavemaster's back, jumping up and down trying to dig her soles as deeply into him as possible.
Reaching for his staff which was sent askew when he was knocked down Thesis muttered up to the heavy blade, "Nasty spawn of the devil, aren't you?" Just a little farther...he could already touch the cold surface with the very tips of his fingers. But some kind of heavy metal shoe was brought down on his hand right before he could grasp the staff and Thesis moaned at the sight of it.
"Die, vile cheater!"the Crimson Knight said to the robed player, sword unsheathed and ready to make the kill. However, the wavemaster just pondered about the Knights voice, it was so familiar...where'd he hear it before?
With a coy grin on his face, the 'cheater' burst into laughter. Thesis would have probably started rolling around on the ground if the famous dot hacker wasn't pounding her boots into him."Balmung!" This whole thing was just an odd and painful happening after another, but seeing Balmung as one of those accursed Knights was just hilarious for him. "I never thought you'd degrade yourself like that in public!" Gasping for breath, the laughing stopped and the player coughed a few times.
Blackrose had stopped jumping on Thesis's back and was lost in a sea of confusion and pure bliss since Balmung had removed his helmet and stood there valiantly in all of his bishie-ness, locks of silver hair framing his face. His cold gaze stayed on the 'cheater' and for the second time the wavemaster was threatened with a sword to the neck, "Now what's so funny!"Balmung was clearly enraged by the way this...this cheater talked to him."I, Balmung of the Azure Sky, will annihilate y--"
The bishie never had time to finish the finalword of the sentence. Hundreds apon hundreds of fangirls, including the heavy blade who was named after a flower, had flooded into the alleyway they were in, all toppling onto Balmung in large groups and burying him under their bodies. The many females, and the occasional male, tore at his clothes like rabid dogs, glad to get their hands on anything, anything at all. Sitting on top of a building was the 'cheater', laughing at the bishie and his countless fangirls. He knew the modifications he made would someday help him. And they did, he was able to escape before the whole alley was engulfed with deranged, obsessive fangirls.
But the entire encounter with Balmung and the Knights and the 100 e-mails could have been avoided if he never illegally modified his character.Yet he'd still have to endure Blackrose's torture which made him wonder why he didn't just log out. That, and why a blade to the neck was such a popular threat. "Oh yeah, Kite!"Thesis snapped his fingers at the sudden remembrance of the twin blade Blackrose, or maybe he, killed.
Turning around so he was heading in the direction of the rotating portal known as the Chaos Gate, the wavemaster cocked his head at what he saw,"Eh, Kite? That you?" like when he first saw the hacker, he blinked in confusion,"How the hell did you get up here?"
Waving his arm wildly, he was staring at where his left arm once was, mouth agape. Kite seemed to be mute with terror and his arm just waved even more wildly but if he could make any sounds, he would probably be screaming bloody murder.
End of Chapter One
Crim: Hello, Crim the Red Lightning here, getting paid to introduce Kite, Blackrose, Thesis, and Balmung before they sing to end this end this chapter.
Blackrose: But it's already written that the chapter is over...
Crim: Shut up! My paycheck is on the line here!
Thesis: I'm not going to sing and you can't make me.
Crim: But I already told the readers you all would sing!
Thesis: Screw the readers. -Walks off the stage-
Blackrose: I'm going to go play DDR...-Walks off the stage after Thesis-
Kite: M-my arm T-T
Crim: OO;; Since Blackrose and Thesis left, the bishie, Balmung, and the hacker, Kite, will sing for you. Errr...Balmung?
Kite: -sniff- He's being chased by rabid fangirls again -sniff-
Crim: Okay...then Kite will sing for you all!
Kite: I'm going to go -sniff- play DDR with Blackrose. -Walks off of the stage-
Crim: ...Now watch as the Crimson Knights do the can-can and your eyes bleed! -Leaves-