The Three Bishonens (and the Shrimp)
by Dandragon Wolf
Loosely based upon "Les Trois Mousquetaires" ("The Three Musketeers"
for those of you who don't know any French. Then again, I don't know
any Japanese so I'd say we're even) by Alexandre Dumas and that movie
they made that was a little ridiculous. I have provided translations
for the French words. Anyone who knows French, don't lynch me for my
bad French grammar, I did it on purpose (honestly). All characters do
not belong to me (although I must admit I wish they did), they belong
to their respective creators (you know who they are), I just write
stories. A Yu Yu Hakusho/Bakuretsu Hunter crossover. Enjoy. Some yaoi
content as well as male/female content. No lemons (never any good
lemons to be found when you need them. Besides, my wife would kill
me). I am planning to write the sequel. It will be based on the
sequel "The Man in the Iron Mask" only it will probably be called
"The Bishonen in the Iron Mask". Which bishonen you ask, well, let's
just say that there are a lot of bishonens in the comic world.
Cast:
In case you don't know who's who.
Athos - Kuramos (Kurama)
Porthos - Milphos (Milphey)
Aramis - Marronis (Marron)
d'Artagnan - d'Hiei (Hiei)
Cardinal Richelieu - Richegateau (Gateau)
Captain Rochefort - Rochesuke (Yusuke)
Girard - Kuwabarard (Kuwabara)
King Louis - Carrouis (Carrot)
Queen Anne - Chocolanne (Chocolate)
Ugly - Zahugly (Zahatorte)
Constance - Keikance (Keiko)
tavern wench-Cinnawench (Cinnamon)
Anne de Breuil/Lady de Winter - Tiranne/Lady de Koenter (Tira)
Count de Winter, late Count de Winter's younger brother - Comte de
Koenter (Koenma)
Musketeers - Genkai, Chiffon, Botan, Yukina, and Karuua
the Cardinal's men - Daughter, Big Mama, Mukuro, Shiori, Shizuru,
and Eclair
The dark, underground hallways dripped blood. The two men
slowly walked down a hallway, one carrying a torch. They reached a
man hung on chains being whipped and the ugly monster next to him.
"Well Zahugly?" the man with the torch demanded.
Zahugly grunted.
"Please, votre Excellence, spare me. I did not mean to rob votre
carriage." the man in chains begged.
"Bien sur I forgive vous." the large, muscular man without the torch
said, smiling benevolently.
"Merci, votre Excellence." the man yammered gratefully.
The blond man without the torch puffed his chest out and flexed his
well muscled body. He nodded at the black-haired man with the torch
and walked off. The shorter man with the torch drew his sword and
stabbed the man in chains. Zahugly grunted happily.
In the meadow, two men fought under the bright sun. They were
well matched only because the shorter one wasn't really putting any
effort into it. The taller, orange-haired one grunted and slashed.
"Give it up, Kuwabarard." the shorter, black-haired one said,
yawning.
"Jamais d'Hiei!" Kuwabarard shrieked. "Not until I avenge l'honneur
de ma sister!"
"Hn. As if I would touch vos sister. She was just, ah, showing me how
much she was going to miss me." d'Hiei replied, red eyes flashing.
"Yahh!!!" Kuwabarard attacked.
D'Hiei twisted Kuwabarard's sword away. Kuwabarard fell down hard.
"Mes brothers will help me avenge ma sister's honour!" he yelled.
"This isn't over!"
D'Hiei snorted in disbelief, then looked up to see four horses riding
towards them.
"That was tres vite." d'Hiei said in mild surprise.
He quickly got on his horse and rode off.
"Get him!" Kuwabarard yelled as his brothers rode past.
He ran to his horse, who ran away from him. Shrieking in anger,
Kuwabarard chased after it.
D'Hiei rode faster, glancing back at the brothers. He rode
through the crowd and lost a brother in the mess. Then he sliced
through a rope and a pile of logs fell on another brother. He knocked
over a ladder which caused a girl to fall on another brother. He
threw a piece of wood which knocked out the last brother. He rode on
as Kuwabarard chased him. D'Hiei noticed a fallen tree that was in
his way. Getting up, he vaulted over the tree and back onto his horse
in the blink of an eye. Kuwabarard stood on his horse and tried to
repeat the performance. He jumped onto the tree and quickly jumped
off again. So quickly, in fact, that he missed his horse and fell on
the ground. D'Hiei snickered and continued riding.
"D'Hiei!!!!" Kuwabarard's anguished shriek echoed behind d'Hiei.
Captain Rochesuke smiled down at the mass of musketeers in
the courtyard.
"Les Mousquetaires have been officially disbanded by the order of le
roi Carrouis et le cardinal Richegateau!" he said cheerfully. "Vous
are all to give up vos swords and uniforms and join the ranks of the
military."
The musketeers grumbled and groaned at this.
"Anyone who does not comply will be arrested along avec tous les
autre mousquetaires. After all, it's only fair. Tout for une et une
for tout." Rochesuke said with a grin on his face.
One by one, the musketeers surrendered their swords and uniforms.
Rochesuke sighed happily. Finally, the hated musketeers were done
for. Then he heard the familiar thumping of the Cardinal's walk.
Rochesuke turned to see the Cardinal enter the room.
"Capitaine." Richegateau said.
"Votre Excellence." Rochesuke replied, bowing and kissing the
Cardinal's ring.
"How goes it?" Richegateau asked.
"Tres bien." Rochesuke replied. "All les mousquetaires have given up
leurs swords, except for trois. Nous haven't located ils yet."
"What?! I want ils found now!" Richegateau thundered.
"Oui, votre Excellence." Rochesuke promised.
Richegateau puffed out his chest and left the room.
D'Hiei looked back as he noticed the two women being chased
by two men. He briefly considered helping them. But he didn't like
helping people. However, he did like a good fight. Shrugging, he got
off his horse and climbed up a tree. The women rode past. As the men
reached d'Hiei, he jumped out of the tree and sliced up the two men
in a flash. Grinning at his success, he began to clean his sword.
The women suddenly came riding back. One of them levelled a gun at
him.
"What do vous think vous are doing?" she demanded.
"Um, saving vous?" d'Hiei replied sarcastically.
The red-haired woman laughed and rode off.
"From la reine's own bodyguards?" the brown-haired woman with the gun
said with a smile.
"Oh. I'm sorry." d'Hiei apologised, realising his mistake.
"That's quite alright. I haven't had that much enjoyment in ages.
Perhaps nous shall meet again." the woman said.
"I'm going to Paris to become a mousquetaire like mon father was."
d'Hiei said.
"Oh? Too bad. La dame d'honneur's are discouraged from associating
avec mousquetaires." the woman said with a smile and a twinkle in
her eye.
"Ah, but I'm not a mousquetaire yet." d'Hiei replied, recognising the
interest in her eyes. "Mon name is d'Hiei." he said with a charming
smile and a gallant bow.
She smiled.
"I am Keikance. Until nous meet again, mon mousquetaire."
She rode off. D'Hiei grinned and mounted his horse. Things were
looking good. He rode on until he reached Paris, taking in the
sights. He reached the hall of the musketeers and entered. There was
no one there. He looked around, scowling, at the dusty hall. Then he
noticed a man.
"Excusez-moi, monsieur, but do vous know where I can find les
mousquetaires?" d'Hiei asked.
The man turned to face him. He had long red hair and deep green eyes.
He was tall and beautiful. He twirled a red rose in his hand.
"Vous have found les mousquetaires." the man said with a bitter
laugh, throwing the rose into the firepit. "Now leave, garcon."
D'Hiei scowled, insulted.
"I have non time for vos games, monsieur. Either tell me where les
mousquetaires are or get out of mon way!" he snapped.
"Vous are a rude garcon." the man noted in wry amusement.
D'Hiei snorted.
"So what?"
"Vous have insulted mon honneur. I challenge vous to a duel." the man
said.
"Done." d'Hiei said with an eager grin.
"Meet me behind the ruins at noon." the man said.
"I'll be there." d'Hiei promised as the man walked off.
D'Hiei left the hall and wandered around Paris.
"There he is!" came a familiar shriek.
D'Hiei looked around to find Kuwabarard and his four brothers.
"Merde." d'Hiei cursed.
He had no interest in fighting those idiots now. He quickly ran off.
He glanced back once and noticed that he had lost the brothers. He
stopped running, and accidentally knocked a man's drink over. It
splashed someone else.
"Sorry." d'Hiei apologised, intent on getting as far away as
possible.
"Excusez-moi, garcon!" came a voice.
D'Hiei looked to see the tall man who he had accidentally splashed.
The man was beautiful with long purple hair, tan eyes, and a very
feminine attitude. He was shaking a wet sash.
"This sash was given to me by la reine of America." the man said.
"Hn. Any idiot knows that there is no reine of America." d'Hiei
snorted.
"I beg to differ, gar?n. Et vous are tres rude." the man said.
"Hn."
"I challenge you to a duel, behind the main church at one o'clock."
the man said.
"I'll be there." d'Hiei snarled before stalking off.
The woman inched closer to the man reading the bible. As he
quoted, she leaned over and kissed him. He gently broke the kiss.
"Madamoiselle." he said in his warm voice. "I am here to teach vous
about the book. I do no think that was appropriate."
"Oh, je suis tres desole, monsieur." the woman replied, simpering.
"It's just that, what vous read to me...moved me. I am sorry."
"Oh, don't be. One should express one's desires to learn the holy
ways." the man said with a gentle smile.
"Oui." the woman agreed before covering his mouth with hers.
Suddenly there was a pounding on the door.
"Let me in!" a voice shouted.
"Oh non! It's mon husband." the woman said breathlessly.
"Vous are married?" the man said.
"Oui."
"I must depart." the man decided wisely.
He quickly gathered his things and jumped out the window just as the
husband burst in with a musket. The man landed on a cart of hay and
then jumped off. And landed on a much smaller person. They both
crashed to the ground with an 'oomph'.
D'Hiei looked into two gold eyes and grunted slightly at the
man's weight.
"Merci." the man said. "Vous broke mon fall perfectly."
D'Hiei snarled and threw the man to one side. He got off and brushed
off his clothes.
"Vous jumped on me!" he growled.
"Oui, and I apologised for it." the man replied, getting up.
He was tall and beautiful with long black hair that fell past his
waist.
"That's not bien enough!" d'Hiei replied. "Merde!"
"Vous are quite rude." the man said. "I challenge vous to a duel.
Say, two o'clock behind the bell tower."
"Alright." d'Hiei agreed.
The man left. D'Hiei stalked off.
The Cardinal's men, er, women(?) entered the inn with
Rochesuke. At a table sat the three beautiful men.
"The last trois." Rochesuke said happily. "Do vous surrender?"
"Bien sure, non." the redhead said with a smile.
"You must be joking." the black-haired man said softly.
"Men, er, women! Arrest these-"
Rochesuke words were cut off as the purple-haired man let out a war
cry, leapt onto the chandelier, and sent in crashing down on the
Cardinal's men, er, women.
"Did I get ils, er, elles all?" the purple-haired man asked.
"Good job. Tu got ils, er, elles all. Except our cher capitaine
Rochesuke, of course." the redhead said, levelling a sword at
Rochesuke's throat.
The black-haired man imitated the redhead.
"Oh merde! I was aiming for Rochesuke." the purple-haired man said,
snapping his fingers and pointing his sword at the back of
Rochesuke's neck.
"Vous tell le cardinal that nous will continue to do our duty. Et
that is to protect le roi." the redhead said softly to Rochesuke.
He walked off.
"Au revoir." the black-haired man said, walking off.
"Isn't Rochesuke a breed of chien?" the purple-haired man said before
walking off. "Run along, petit chien."
D'Hiei rode to the ruins to meet the redhead, who was calmly
polishing his sword.
"Vous are tard as well as rude." the redhead said.
"Are vous in a hurry to mourrir?" d'Hiei asked.
The purple-haired man and the black-haired man rode up.
"Tu cannot fight this garcon." the purple-haired man protested.
"Why not?" the redhead asked.
"Parce que I have a duel avec him." the man replied.
"Not until une o'clock." d'Hiei stated.
"I have a duel avec him as well." the black-haired man said.
"Not until deux o'clock." d'Hiei said.
"My, aren't vous busy?" the redhead said with an infuriatingly
beautiful smile.
The two others dismounted and threw off their cloaks, as did the
redhead.
"Vous are mousquetaires?!" d'Hiei said in disbelief.
"Oui." the redhead replied.
"I've been looking for vous." d'Hiei said.
"Now that vous have found nous, do vous wish to back out?" the
redhead asked.
"Non. I am un homme d'honneur." d'Hiei said. "But believe me, I take
no pleasure in killing vous."
He drew his sword, as did the redhead. Then they heard the sound of
horses approaching. They saw the Cardinal's men, er, women, riding
up. The redhead hung his head and sighed.
"Only un idiot would try to arrest nous twice in une day." he said.
The Cardinal's men, er, women, stopped their horses.
"Vous are under arrest." the man, er, woman, in charge said.
"Un idiot." the black-haired man and the purple-haired man agreed.
"Do vous plan to resist arrest?" the man, er, woman, in charge asked.
"Don't be un idiot, bien sur nous plan to resist." the purple-haired
man said. "Just give nous une moment to talk, oui?"
The Cardinal's men, er, women, blinked at this.
The musketeers faced each other.
"There's trois of nous et dix of ils, er, elles. That hardly seems
fair." the redhead said, pushing d'Hiei away.
"Oui. So what do nous do?" the purple-haired man asked, pushing
d'Hiei away.
"Nous could surrender." the black-haired man said, pushing d'Hiei
out of the way.
"Excusez-moi, mais there are quatre of nous." d'Hiei said finally.
"Go away, garcon, this is mousquetaire business." the redhead said.
"I may not be un mousquetaire yet, mais I believe that I have le
coeur of un mousquetaire." d'Hiei said.
"Brave." the redhead commented.
"Et foolish." the black-haired man said.
"Reminds me of me." the purple-haired man boasted.
"Very well, vous are in. What's votre name?" the redhead asked.
"D'Hiei." d'Hiei replied.
"I'm Kuramos." the redhead introduced.
"Marronis." the black haired man said.
"Et I am the famous Milphos." the purple haired man said.
"Famous?" d'Hiei snorted.
"Famous." Milphos stated flatly.
They all nodded heads in greeting and turned to face the Cardinal's
men, er, women, swords drawn.
"Maintenant." said Milphos. "Nous are prepared to resist vous."
The Cardinal's men, er, women, dismounted, and a fight ensued. It was
quickly ended with all the Cardinal's men, er, women, er, guards,
dead.
"Let's go." Kuramos said.
Milphos and Marronis mounted and started to ride off.
"Wait! I want to join vous." d'Hiei protested.
"It's not worth it. Go home, live une longue vie." Milphos
recommended.
They rode off. D'Hiei watched them go, scowling. Then he heard horses
and mounted to see the Cardinal's, er, guards, and Rochesuke appear.
D'Hiei was in a bad mood and it was getting worse.
"For les mousquetaires!" he shouted and charged.
Rochesuke met his charge and knocked him off his horse. D'Hiei fell
and was then knocked out by a, er, guard.
D'Hiei woke to find himself in a prison. He exchanged some
nasty words with Rochesuke and ended up getting hit again for his
mouth. After ordering the guards to take d'Hiei away, Rochesuke left
the cell. The guards bent down to pick up d'Hiei. But d'Hiei had been
pretending to be unconscious. He quickly killed the guards with his
bare hands and left the cell. He wandered around, searching for a way
out. He froze as he saw a cloaked woman walking along with Rochesuke.
D'Hiei frowned and followed them discreetly. Rochesuke ushered the
woman into a room and then wandered off. D'Hiei went over to the door
and peered into the lock. Inside the room was the woman and Cardinal
Richegateau. They were talking about their plans to assassinate the
king with the help of the English. D'Hiei realised that he would have
to stop them and snuck away, to find himself at the point of
Rochesuke's sword.
"Looking for me?" Rochesuke asked with a sneer.
D'Hiei grunted as he was shoved to his knees in front of the
Cardinal.
"Who's this?" Richegateau asked, flexing his muscles at the mirror.
"Some garcon who was spying on vous, votre Excellence." Rochesuke
said.
"What did vous hear, garcon?" Richegateau asked.
"Nothing, votre Excellence." d'Hiei said quickly. "Vos voices were
too low."
"Et did vous see who was avec moi?" Richegateau asked.
"No one, votre Excellence, it was too dark." d'Hiei said.
"Where are les mousequetaires?" Richegateau asked.
D'Hiei said nothing and glared defiantly at the Cardinal.
"Well I guess vous are clean then. Take him away to be beheaded."
Richegateau said, going back to flexing his muscles.
"Wait!" d'Hiei shouted.
"Vous object to being beheaded?" Richegateau said.
"Oui, quite strongly." d'Hiei replied.
"Then tell me where les mousquetaires are." Richegateau demanded.
"I don't know where ils are." d'Hiei said.
"Et if vous did?" Richegateau said.
"I would not tell vous." d'Hiei replied.
"I thought so. Take him away." Richegateau turned away and Rochesuke
dragged d'Hiei out.
by Dandragon Wolf
Loosely based upon "Les Trois Mousquetaires" ("The Three Musketeers"
for those of you who don't know any French. Then again, I don't know
any Japanese so I'd say we're even) by Alexandre Dumas and that movie
they made that was a little ridiculous. I have provided translations
for the French words. Anyone who knows French, don't lynch me for my
bad French grammar, I did it on purpose (honestly). All characters do
not belong to me (although I must admit I wish they did), they belong
to their respective creators (you know who they are), I just write
stories. A Yu Yu Hakusho/Bakuretsu Hunter crossover. Enjoy. Some yaoi
content as well as male/female content. No lemons (never any good
lemons to be found when you need them. Besides, my wife would kill
me). I am planning to write the sequel. It will be based on the
sequel "The Man in the Iron Mask" only it will probably be called
"The Bishonen in the Iron Mask". Which bishonen you ask, well, let's
just say that there are a lot of bishonens in the comic world.
Cast:
In case you don't know who's who.
Athos - Kuramos (Kurama)
Porthos - Milphos (Milphey)
Aramis - Marronis (Marron)
d'Artagnan - d'Hiei (Hiei)
Cardinal Richelieu - Richegateau (Gateau)
Captain Rochefort - Rochesuke (Yusuke)
Girard - Kuwabarard (Kuwabara)
King Louis - Carrouis (Carrot)
Queen Anne - Chocolanne (Chocolate)
Ugly - Zahugly (Zahatorte)
Constance - Keikance (Keiko)
tavern wench-Cinnawench (Cinnamon)
Anne de Breuil/Lady de Winter - Tiranne/Lady de Koenter (Tira)
Count de Winter, late Count de Winter's younger brother - Comte de
Koenter (Koenma)
Musketeers - Genkai, Chiffon, Botan, Yukina, and Karuua
the Cardinal's men - Daughter, Big Mama, Mukuro, Shiori, Shizuru,
and Eclair
The dark, underground hallways dripped blood. The two men
slowly walked down a hallway, one carrying a torch. They reached a
man hung on chains being whipped and the ugly monster next to him.
"Well Zahugly?" the man with the torch demanded.
Zahugly grunted.
"Please, votre Excellence, spare me. I did not mean to rob votre
carriage." the man in chains begged.
"Bien sur I forgive vous." the large, muscular man without the torch
said, smiling benevolently.
"Merci, votre Excellence." the man yammered gratefully.
The blond man without the torch puffed his chest out and flexed his
well muscled body. He nodded at the black-haired man with the torch
and walked off. The shorter man with the torch drew his sword and
stabbed the man in chains. Zahugly grunted happily.
In the meadow, two men fought under the bright sun. They were
well matched only because the shorter one wasn't really putting any
effort into it. The taller, orange-haired one grunted and slashed.
"Give it up, Kuwabarard." the shorter, black-haired one said,
yawning.
"Jamais d'Hiei!" Kuwabarard shrieked. "Not until I avenge l'honneur
de ma sister!"
"Hn. As if I would touch vos sister. She was just, ah, showing me how
much she was going to miss me." d'Hiei replied, red eyes flashing.
"Yahh!!!" Kuwabarard attacked.
D'Hiei twisted Kuwabarard's sword away. Kuwabarard fell down hard.
"Mes brothers will help me avenge ma sister's honour!" he yelled.
"This isn't over!"
D'Hiei snorted in disbelief, then looked up to see four horses riding
towards them.
"That was tres vite." d'Hiei said in mild surprise.
He quickly got on his horse and rode off.
"Get him!" Kuwabarard yelled as his brothers rode past.
He ran to his horse, who ran away from him. Shrieking in anger,
Kuwabarard chased after it.
D'Hiei rode faster, glancing back at the brothers. He rode
through the crowd and lost a brother in the mess. Then he sliced
through a rope and a pile of logs fell on another brother. He knocked
over a ladder which caused a girl to fall on another brother. He
threw a piece of wood which knocked out the last brother. He rode on
as Kuwabarard chased him. D'Hiei noticed a fallen tree that was in
his way. Getting up, he vaulted over the tree and back onto his horse
in the blink of an eye. Kuwabarard stood on his horse and tried to
repeat the performance. He jumped onto the tree and quickly jumped
off again. So quickly, in fact, that he missed his horse and fell on
the ground. D'Hiei snickered and continued riding.
"D'Hiei!!!!" Kuwabarard's anguished shriek echoed behind d'Hiei.
Captain Rochesuke smiled down at the mass of musketeers in
the courtyard.
"Les Mousquetaires have been officially disbanded by the order of le
roi Carrouis et le cardinal Richegateau!" he said cheerfully. "Vous
are all to give up vos swords and uniforms and join the ranks of the
military."
The musketeers grumbled and groaned at this.
"Anyone who does not comply will be arrested along avec tous les
autre mousquetaires. After all, it's only fair. Tout for une et une
for tout." Rochesuke said with a grin on his face.
One by one, the musketeers surrendered their swords and uniforms.
Rochesuke sighed happily. Finally, the hated musketeers were done
for. Then he heard the familiar thumping of the Cardinal's walk.
Rochesuke turned to see the Cardinal enter the room.
"Capitaine." Richegateau said.
"Votre Excellence." Rochesuke replied, bowing and kissing the
Cardinal's ring.
"How goes it?" Richegateau asked.
"Tres bien." Rochesuke replied. "All les mousquetaires have given up
leurs swords, except for trois. Nous haven't located ils yet."
"What?! I want ils found now!" Richegateau thundered.
"Oui, votre Excellence." Rochesuke promised.
Richegateau puffed out his chest and left the room.
D'Hiei looked back as he noticed the two women being chased
by two men. He briefly considered helping them. But he didn't like
helping people. However, he did like a good fight. Shrugging, he got
off his horse and climbed up a tree. The women rode past. As the men
reached d'Hiei, he jumped out of the tree and sliced up the two men
in a flash. Grinning at his success, he began to clean his sword.
The women suddenly came riding back. One of them levelled a gun at
him.
"What do vous think vous are doing?" she demanded.
"Um, saving vous?" d'Hiei replied sarcastically.
The red-haired woman laughed and rode off.
"From la reine's own bodyguards?" the brown-haired woman with the gun
said with a smile.
"Oh. I'm sorry." d'Hiei apologised, realising his mistake.
"That's quite alright. I haven't had that much enjoyment in ages.
Perhaps nous shall meet again." the woman said.
"I'm going to Paris to become a mousquetaire like mon father was."
d'Hiei said.
"Oh? Too bad. La dame d'honneur's are discouraged from associating
avec mousquetaires." the woman said with a smile and a twinkle in
her eye.
"Ah, but I'm not a mousquetaire yet." d'Hiei replied, recognising the
interest in her eyes. "Mon name is d'Hiei." he said with a charming
smile and a gallant bow.
She smiled.
"I am Keikance. Until nous meet again, mon mousquetaire."
She rode off. D'Hiei grinned and mounted his horse. Things were
looking good. He rode on until he reached Paris, taking in the
sights. He reached the hall of the musketeers and entered. There was
no one there. He looked around, scowling, at the dusty hall. Then he
noticed a man.
"Excusez-moi, monsieur, but do vous know where I can find les
mousquetaires?" d'Hiei asked.
The man turned to face him. He had long red hair and deep green eyes.
He was tall and beautiful. He twirled a red rose in his hand.
"Vous have found les mousquetaires." the man said with a bitter
laugh, throwing the rose into the firepit. "Now leave, garcon."
D'Hiei scowled, insulted.
"I have non time for vos games, monsieur. Either tell me where les
mousquetaires are or get out of mon way!" he snapped.
"Vous are a rude garcon." the man noted in wry amusement.
D'Hiei snorted.
"So what?"
"Vous have insulted mon honneur. I challenge vous to a duel." the man
said.
"Done." d'Hiei said with an eager grin.
"Meet me behind the ruins at noon." the man said.
"I'll be there." d'Hiei promised as the man walked off.
D'Hiei left the hall and wandered around Paris.
"There he is!" came a familiar shriek.
D'Hiei looked around to find Kuwabarard and his four brothers.
"Merde." d'Hiei cursed.
He had no interest in fighting those idiots now. He quickly ran off.
He glanced back once and noticed that he had lost the brothers. He
stopped running, and accidentally knocked a man's drink over. It
splashed someone else.
"Sorry." d'Hiei apologised, intent on getting as far away as
possible.
"Excusez-moi, garcon!" came a voice.
D'Hiei looked to see the tall man who he had accidentally splashed.
The man was beautiful with long purple hair, tan eyes, and a very
feminine attitude. He was shaking a wet sash.
"This sash was given to me by la reine of America." the man said.
"Hn. Any idiot knows that there is no reine of America." d'Hiei
snorted.
"I beg to differ, gar?n. Et vous are tres rude." the man said.
"Hn."
"I challenge you to a duel, behind the main church at one o'clock."
the man said.
"I'll be there." d'Hiei snarled before stalking off.
The woman inched closer to the man reading the bible. As he
quoted, she leaned over and kissed him. He gently broke the kiss.
"Madamoiselle." he said in his warm voice. "I am here to teach vous
about the book. I do no think that was appropriate."
"Oh, je suis tres desole, monsieur." the woman replied, simpering.
"It's just that, what vous read to me...moved me. I am sorry."
"Oh, don't be. One should express one's desires to learn the holy
ways." the man said with a gentle smile.
"Oui." the woman agreed before covering his mouth with hers.
Suddenly there was a pounding on the door.
"Let me in!" a voice shouted.
"Oh non! It's mon husband." the woman said breathlessly.
"Vous are married?" the man said.
"Oui."
"I must depart." the man decided wisely.
He quickly gathered his things and jumped out the window just as the
husband burst in with a musket. The man landed on a cart of hay and
then jumped off. And landed on a much smaller person. They both
crashed to the ground with an 'oomph'.
D'Hiei looked into two gold eyes and grunted slightly at the
man's weight.
"Merci." the man said. "Vous broke mon fall perfectly."
D'Hiei snarled and threw the man to one side. He got off and brushed
off his clothes.
"Vous jumped on me!" he growled.
"Oui, and I apologised for it." the man replied, getting up.
He was tall and beautiful with long black hair that fell past his
waist.
"That's not bien enough!" d'Hiei replied. "Merde!"
"Vous are quite rude." the man said. "I challenge vous to a duel.
Say, two o'clock behind the bell tower."
"Alright." d'Hiei agreed.
The man left. D'Hiei stalked off.
The Cardinal's men, er, women(?) entered the inn with
Rochesuke. At a table sat the three beautiful men.
"The last trois." Rochesuke said happily. "Do vous surrender?"
"Bien sure, non." the redhead said with a smile.
"You must be joking." the black-haired man said softly.
"Men, er, women! Arrest these-"
Rochesuke words were cut off as the purple-haired man let out a war
cry, leapt onto the chandelier, and sent in crashing down on the
Cardinal's men, er, women.
"Did I get ils, er, elles all?" the purple-haired man asked.
"Good job. Tu got ils, er, elles all. Except our cher capitaine
Rochesuke, of course." the redhead said, levelling a sword at
Rochesuke's throat.
The black-haired man imitated the redhead.
"Oh merde! I was aiming for Rochesuke." the purple-haired man said,
snapping his fingers and pointing his sword at the back of
Rochesuke's neck.
"Vous tell le cardinal that nous will continue to do our duty. Et
that is to protect le roi." the redhead said softly to Rochesuke.
He walked off.
"Au revoir." the black-haired man said, walking off.
"Isn't Rochesuke a breed of chien?" the purple-haired man said before
walking off. "Run along, petit chien."
D'Hiei rode to the ruins to meet the redhead, who was calmly
polishing his sword.
"Vous are tard as well as rude." the redhead said.
"Are vous in a hurry to mourrir?" d'Hiei asked.
The purple-haired man and the black-haired man rode up.
"Tu cannot fight this garcon." the purple-haired man protested.
"Why not?" the redhead asked.
"Parce que I have a duel avec him." the man replied.
"Not until une o'clock." d'Hiei stated.
"I have a duel avec him as well." the black-haired man said.
"Not until deux o'clock." d'Hiei said.
"My, aren't vous busy?" the redhead said with an infuriatingly
beautiful smile.
The two others dismounted and threw off their cloaks, as did the
redhead.
"Vous are mousquetaires?!" d'Hiei said in disbelief.
"Oui." the redhead replied.
"I've been looking for vous." d'Hiei said.
"Now that vous have found nous, do vous wish to back out?" the
redhead asked.
"Non. I am un homme d'honneur." d'Hiei said. "But believe me, I take
no pleasure in killing vous."
He drew his sword, as did the redhead. Then they heard the sound of
horses approaching. They saw the Cardinal's men, er, women, riding
up. The redhead hung his head and sighed.
"Only un idiot would try to arrest nous twice in une day." he said.
The Cardinal's men, er, women, stopped their horses.
"Vous are under arrest." the man, er, woman, in charge said.
"Un idiot." the black-haired man and the purple-haired man agreed.
"Do vous plan to resist arrest?" the man, er, woman, in charge asked.
"Don't be un idiot, bien sur nous plan to resist." the purple-haired
man said. "Just give nous une moment to talk, oui?"
The Cardinal's men, er, women, blinked at this.
The musketeers faced each other.
"There's trois of nous et dix of ils, er, elles. That hardly seems
fair." the redhead said, pushing d'Hiei away.
"Oui. So what do nous do?" the purple-haired man asked, pushing
d'Hiei away.
"Nous could surrender." the black-haired man said, pushing d'Hiei
out of the way.
"Excusez-moi, mais there are quatre of nous." d'Hiei said finally.
"Go away, garcon, this is mousquetaire business." the redhead said.
"I may not be un mousquetaire yet, mais I believe that I have le
coeur of un mousquetaire." d'Hiei said.
"Brave." the redhead commented.
"Et foolish." the black-haired man said.
"Reminds me of me." the purple-haired man boasted.
"Very well, vous are in. What's votre name?" the redhead asked.
"D'Hiei." d'Hiei replied.
"I'm Kuramos." the redhead introduced.
"Marronis." the black haired man said.
"Et I am the famous Milphos." the purple haired man said.
"Famous?" d'Hiei snorted.
"Famous." Milphos stated flatly.
They all nodded heads in greeting and turned to face the Cardinal's
men, er, women, swords drawn.
"Maintenant." said Milphos. "Nous are prepared to resist vous."
The Cardinal's men, er, women, dismounted, and a fight ensued. It was
quickly ended with all the Cardinal's men, er, women, er, guards,
dead.
"Let's go." Kuramos said.
Milphos and Marronis mounted and started to ride off.
"Wait! I want to join vous." d'Hiei protested.
"It's not worth it. Go home, live une longue vie." Milphos
recommended.
They rode off. D'Hiei watched them go, scowling. Then he heard horses
and mounted to see the Cardinal's, er, guards, and Rochesuke appear.
D'Hiei was in a bad mood and it was getting worse.
"For les mousquetaires!" he shouted and charged.
Rochesuke met his charge and knocked him off his horse. D'Hiei fell
and was then knocked out by a, er, guard.
D'Hiei woke to find himself in a prison. He exchanged some
nasty words with Rochesuke and ended up getting hit again for his
mouth. After ordering the guards to take d'Hiei away, Rochesuke left
the cell. The guards bent down to pick up d'Hiei. But d'Hiei had been
pretending to be unconscious. He quickly killed the guards with his
bare hands and left the cell. He wandered around, searching for a way
out. He froze as he saw a cloaked woman walking along with Rochesuke.
D'Hiei frowned and followed them discreetly. Rochesuke ushered the
woman into a room and then wandered off. D'Hiei went over to the door
and peered into the lock. Inside the room was the woman and Cardinal
Richegateau. They were talking about their plans to assassinate the
king with the help of the English. D'Hiei realised that he would have
to stop them and snuck away, to find himself at the point of
Rochesuke's sword.
"Looking for me?" Rochesuke asked with a sneer.
D'Hiei grunted as he was shoved to his knees in front of the
Cardinal.
"Who's this?" Richegateau asked, flexing his muscles at the mirror.
"Some garcon who was spying on vous, votre Excellence." Rochesuke
said.
"What did vous hear, garcon?" Richegateau asked.
"Nothing, votre Excellence." d'Hiei said quickly. "Vos voices were
too low."
"Et did vous see who was avec moi?" Richegateau asked.
"No one, votre Excellence, it was too dark." d'Hiei said.
"Where are les mousequetaires?" Richegateau asked.
D'Hiei said nothing and glared defiantly at the Cardinal.
"Well I guess vous are clean then. Take him away to be beheaded."
Richegateau said, going back to flexing his muscles.
"Wait!" d'Hiei shouted.
"Vous object to being beheaded?" Richegateau said.
"Oui, quite strongly." d'Hiei replied.
"Then tell me where les mousquetaires are." Richegateau demanded.
"I don't know where ils are." d'Hiei said.
"Et if vous did?" Richegateau said.
"I would not tell vous." d'Hiei replied.
"I thought so. Take him away." Richegateau turned away and Rochesuke
dragged d'Hiei out.