A LITTLE BLACKMAIL

by mileslacey

(Juche)

Shego had never imagined that she would find herself stuck in a call centre, unable to get a job anywhere else because she was distrusted by virtually everyone she knew. She was stuck in a cubicle that was devoid of anything that was even remotely individual. As part of a clean desk policy there was a total ban on photos or pictures of any description. The only things permitted on the desk were a computer, a pad and the usual detrius of a modern office.

'Hi, I'm Sharon Go from the Middleton Daily,' she spoke into a headset. 'I'm calling for Mr. Smarty, please... Yes, I can appreciate he's busy but we're working to a deadline. The reason I'm calling is because there is some basic informaion that appears to be missing from his press release... Yes, I'll leave my phone number. It's 719-599-8000. Sharon Go. Thanks.'

She hung up, muttering, 'Bitch.'

Sensing someone was standing behind her she turned to find the creepy Call Centre Supervisor leering at her.

'Hey, Sharon, we need to talk.'

'Whatever.'

She got up and followed the supervisor into his office. Sean sat down in a large leather office chair behind a huge oak desk while Shego took a seat on a small office swivel chair parked in the middle of the office.

'We've been evaluating your job performance,' Sean remarked matter-of-factly. 'Your performance has improved somewhat since you began but...'

Shego sighed inwardly. She had a pretty good idea as to what was coming.

'...we have to downsize.'

Shego sneeringly retorted, 'Yeah, yeah. You've got to cut costs and free up cash.'

'Precisely. So -.'

'Such as when Frank used the company VISA card to buy seven kilos of high grade cocaine imported from Colombia.'

Sean shifted uneasily in his chair as he barked, 'That's just water-cooler gossip!'

The pale green skinned woman crossed her legs as she coldly stated, 'That's $1.3 million worth of cocaine and twenty-five people have to lose their jobs because of it.'

'Chill, Sharon! No one is going to lose their jobs yet. Management wants you to fill out a detailed job description outlining in detail what you do so we can -.'

'...decide if I stay or go.' Shego said as she got up and headed for the door.

'It's business, nothing personal.'

'Frank's your brother. It doesn't get any more personal.' Shego stated.

'Hey, I'm one of the good guys. I'm levelling with you so you can save your job.'

'Thanks,' she remarked sarcastically as she stormed out of the office. Despite her rage she was able to refrain from blasting both Sean and his office to hell with her green plasma flame but a few staff member trembled fearfully when they saw green flames lighting up her hands. At her desk she sat down and resumed making outbound calls.

On her lunch break she got in her car and drove down to the local Bueno Nacho restaurant. A couple of years ago it was the favourite hangout for her super hero nemesis Kim Possible and her sidekick Ron Stoppable. Now Kim was in Monaco and Ron was in Japan. This was one of those few times when she really needed someone like Kim to talk to.

She walked up to the counter, spotting the sign reading "STAFF WANTED" hanging on the counter.

'Can I have a Grande Sized Burrito meal with a cola soda?'

The bespectacled nerdy looking man who served her asked, 'Would you like some hot Diablo sauce with that?'

'No, thanks, but can I have an application form?'

Surprised, the man said, 'I'm sorry but we're not offering management jobs, just counter work.'

'Good. I'm looking for a job with the minimum amount of responsibility possible.'

The man handed her an applicaion form. 'Have you got a resume with you?'

Shego handed one over to him. Quickly he flicked through it. He frowned, saying, 'I'm not sure that you would fit in here. You haven't worked in a fast food outlet in, like, eight years.'

'I'm sure that since I last worked in a Bueno Nachos restaurant that technological changes haven't been that great. It's a bit rude to presume I can't learn simply because I'm in my late twenties.'

'We'll be in touch.' The man stated as he reluctantly took her application form and resume out back.

After her lunch she returned to her job. She walked straight into Sean's office, her job description filled out. After slamming it down on Sean's desk she sat down on the chair in front of his desk, a bright smile lighting up her face as she listened to him reading out her job description.

'My job basically consists of making calls to condescending jerks who never answer their phones nor call back as every guy jerks off at the sight of my rack. Once a day I go to the toilet where I finger myself while dreaming of a life that doesn't resemble a living hell.' He slammed down the piece of paper angrily. 'Well, it seems as if you have no intention of saving your job.'

'I couldn't save either myself or my job no matter what I wrote.'

'Whatever. Management wants you out by the end of the day.'

'What severence pay can I expect? Particularly in light of the information I have about Frank using company money to buy drugs.' She paused as she uncrossed her legs in a way made famous by Sharon Stone in that movie Basic Instinct. Just a flicker of a smile crossed her lips as Sean blushed after getting a glimpse up her skirt. 'I'm sure the IRS and the Department of Homeland Security would be interested.'

Sean glared at her. 'What do you want?'

'Two years' salary and benefits.'

Sean guffawed. 'Forget it.'

'Then how about I file a sexual harassment charge?'

'Against the company?'

'No. You. Can you prove that you did not just perve up my skirt and offer to save my job if I gave you a lap dance?'

Sean almost fell out of his chair. He stammered, 'You are one sick bitch!'

'No, just someone with nothing left to lose.'

As Shego left her office for the final time she carried a box with $120,000 in cash and her few possessions from her desk. She shoved the box into the boot of her car and drove off. For the first time in over a year Shego was happy. On the way home she got a call from Bueno Nachos which put her in a really good mood. By the time she pulled into the driveway of the house she shared with Drakken she could barely conceal her delight.

Drakken greeted her with an angry, 'So why are you in such a good mood?'

Shego said, 'I quit my job and blackmailed my boss for $120,000.'

'You did what?' The blue-skinned man exclaimed. 'Are you crazy? How are we going to pay off the mortgage for the damn house?'

Shego said, 'I already have a new job.'

But Drakken didn't hear her as he continued ranting. 'Have you got any idea how tough it is to find work in this recession?' He continued to rant until finally she blasted him down the hallway with a green plasma blast.

From the bottom of the hallway he cried out, 'I'm sure we'll manage to pay the bills somehow!'

THE END