Some dances are not meant to be shared with a manipulator.
That's what Josephine Montilyet was thinking at the moment, her restless eyes red with tears, her shoulders felt so heavy, so did her hands. She was laying there, on her bed, arms spread in a cross shape, lips slightly shivering. She thought that some things were meant to last forever. She thought that she could change her, but can one change a snake ?
She stole a dance with the devil, she burnt her fingers when she trailed them on this demon-like woman's soft skin, she bruised her lips when she kissed this wolf, she lost her voice when screaming this monster's name, she gave her everything.
But was it enough ? Evelyn Trevelyan wanted everything, and she always had what she wanted, sooner or later,no matter how much blood was spilt, how many lives taken, how many lives taken.
She heard knocking on her door, she got up, sighing.
" Who is it ?" Asked the ambassador, trying to get her voice to remain steady and calm.
" It's me, Evelyn,please let me in." This demon had quite a nice voice, an angel's face and body, the devil's soul. She opened the door, there was no point in arguing with her, Evelyn always gets what she wants, and Josephine wanted it to be done as soon as possible.
The Inquisitor entered the room, her presence only creating goosebumps on the Antivan's flawless skin.
"What do you need, Inquisitor ?"
" Do not call me Inquisitor, call me by my name, are we not involved ?"
" I thought we were, but it seems that you forgot about us in Sera's arms. Tell me, /Evelyn/, were her lips sweet as honey ?" The venom in Josephine's voice was obvious, she was really hurt.
" I love you, Josephine, I love you more than I love life, I love you more than I love my friends, I would do anything for you, how can I make it up to you ?"
" You love me ? I wish I could believe these words, I really wish I could, but sometimes, acts speaks more than words, you have done your choice, Herald, it's over, there is no more us." Saying this broke Josephine's heart more than she would ever be willing to admit. When she heard her former lover tell her that she loved her, the Antivan's hurt drummed heavily in her ears. She desperatly craved Evelyn like one crave lyrium, a dangerous and lethal craving, a craving none should have, for it was toxic.
She felt caged by the woman, like an helpless bird locked away from the highness of trees, locked away from joy, songs... Everything that matters to her seemed to be useless in Evelyn's eyes. She loved Evelyn so much she changed everything for her.
Their relationship was fine at first, everything was perfect, no problems, no pain, only sweet words, kisses exchanged in the courtyard, under the secrecy of the pale moon. The change was insidious, Evelyn asked her to throw away her dolls, because she said it was childish, and that she didn't love childish women.
After, it was the dress, the Herald said the colours were too bright, that yellow was a terrible colour, ugly in every way, even if it was Josephine's favorite colour. She asked Josephine to change everything, from her clothing to her makeup, from her weight to her hairstyle. Leliana was incredibly mad at the Inquisitor, but Trevelyan's position protected her from Leliana's wrath.
Little comments that were like daggers kept breaking Josephine's heart, wounding her very soul. "You'e gotten fat." "You look ugly today, put more makeup on, I cannot be seen with such a disgusting girl." "So many makeup, are you a whore ?".
Josephine thought it was already hell, but alas it was only the beginning. Words after words, and soon, slaps after slaps, she got spat on, kicked... She was broken, covered her bruises with makeup, and day after day, she had to praise the responsible of all this.
"The Herald is kind, the Herald is forgiving, she is our savior..."
The Herald was not kind, nor was she forgiving, what she gave, she took back. She used everyone, only Vivienne could rival her manipulating skills, and even the Enchantress was being manipulated by the foul witch.
And still, Josephine still loved her,how ? She did not know. Why ? She did not know. Will it ever stop ? She hoped. Will she ever be the same ? She doubted it. Evelyn cut off her hair like a vanquished foe, taking away her pride, sucking life out of her. Leaving her like an empty shell. But everytime she felt like it was enough, and was about to end their relationship, asking Leliana's help in case of danger, the Herald fell to her knees, crying, begging her to stay, using the sweetest words, threatening to end her life if she left her. The ambassador felt as if she had no choice, and day after wretched day, she had to fight a war no one heard of, the scars were inside, the bruises under the makeup, the tears in her soul hidden by a smile.
She used to feel joy, to be funny sometimes, when the situation allowed it,she liked to dance, to sing, to be alive. She liked to play with her dolls in the secrecy of her room, she liked her teddy bear. She was an innocent, like a child, who smiled to everyone, who was willing to help. She was a joyful city, full of wonderful people, full of bright colours, no dark alleys, no secrets, no pain, no hurt... And now, she was a no man's land, a burnt land, a dead city.
She felt broken, and even when she thought it couldn't hurt more, it did.
She walked amongst gods and angels, but little did she know that demons hide under angels's faces, and that gods, so called saviors, are in fact demons as well. She was walking on a string, demons roaring under her shaking feet, death almost looking relieving compared to this living hell, where every caress meant a thousand of slaps, where every kiss meant thousands of insults. Every night, Josie silently wept hands shakingly holding her pillow to muffle her broken sobs. Every night when the demon didn't claim her body in the most innapropriate ways, Leliana held her tightly, witnessing her friend's hell, not able to change anything, not able to help, hands tied up. The spymaster hated herself so much, everytime she saw herself in a mirror, she wanted to vomit.
"But I love you, Josephine, please... Stay with me, or I'll... I'll kill myself... Please, my love, do not leave me, Sera was a mistake, I love you, please..." The Herald fell to her knees, her face against Josephine's skinny stomach. Here we are again, thought Josephine. Fake tears, empty threats, a manipulator pulling her puppets's strings with ease, moving her pawns, as if life was chess. She felt as if cutting her wrists, and ending her life was the only way to escape.
"You are a manipulator... Stay away from me... Please, go !" Pleaded the ambassador.
The other woman's attitude drastically changed, she got up, a smile painted on her lips.
" Everyone manipulates everyone, can't you see it ? Leliana manipulates you, she keeps you close because the only thing you can do is work, send letters. You are a deception, first born of your family and still, you are childish, stupid, and cannot even have a decent body. Your skin's colours looks sick, your hair is greasy, you are supposed to look good, aren't you ? You are doomed to be alone; but since I am merciful, I offer to stay with you."
" I do not wish to stay with you !" Groaned Josephine. " You're toxic to me, you're a danger to me and my life, you cannot stay with me !"
" And who will stay with you ? Leliana has other plans, have you noticed how she never defends you, she notices the bruises, yet she has never done anything to help you, nor did the others. They left you, because that's what will always happen to you ? Wanna know how I know it too well ? Because it happened to me, I know how it feels dear, how every bone aches, how every word is poison, and yet, you're still standing, because I'm here. I saved you, you owe me everything, without me, your siblings would have to leave your family's idiotic house in this shitty country."
"I... Please... Just leave me."
" You know what ? I am tired of these games, go. Go away, leave Skyhold. " Commanded the Inquisitor.
" Pardon ? I live here, Skyhold is my home."
"Not anymore, I am sick of your nasty presence. Lewis, Stuart !" She called out two of her trusted bodyguards."Strip her, give her a beggar's clothes, and throw her out in the cold."
" But I-" She was stopped by a slap.
" Do it immediatly, make sure she doesn't scream, and do it discreetly. Not a word to anyone... Oh, I forgot, I cut off your tongues..." Grinned Evelyn.
Josephine tried to complain, but Lewis grabbed her tongue, and promptly cut it off, the pain made her world go white, making her forger her own name for a few seconds. She felt herself getting carried, and a few minutes after, she felt a long fall, before hitting cold water, the impact hurting her terribly.
She swam in the dark, until she felt a cold surface, she held unto it, trying to scream for help, making guttural sounds.
She heard voices, but she could not see anything except torches getting nearer. She screamed louder.
" Shoot her !" Ordered a familiar voice.
Leliana's voice.
She tried to moan out, to show her humanity, but an arrow was shot directly to her left shoulder. She yelped and hissed with pain, falling into the cold water, slowly drifting away, she did not feel her body anymore... She was floating. Her whole life flashed before her eyes, she tried to fight back, to swim to the surface, but it was too late, she was slowly drowning. She was in the blackest of room, surrounded by shadows of her past, her demons haunting her, her personnal devil looking at her with a devious smile.
Josephine woke up, screaming. Evelyn Trevelyan rushed to her sides, holding her.
" Josephine,what is wrong ? Bad dreams ?" Asked the Herald, worried.
" I.. I.. I can speak ?" Josephine felt her tongue back in her mouth... A dream... It was just a dream ?
" Lewis, take her to the healer, I believe she needs his assistance. Stay still my love.."
It was not a dream... Was it ? It was real.. She looked at her dress. Yellow and blue.
" Maybe you should get another dress... Yellow is the ugliest colour ever, I wonder how one can love makes you look fatter. Or maybe you've just gotten fatter, given what you eat, I won't be surprised."
Josephine turned around, mouth wide open.
" It's over, Evelyn. I can't be with you anymore. I am sorry."
Josephine exited the room without any other words. In his room, a certain Tevinter mage smiled.
" I may not have saved my son, but I did save someone. Are you satisfied, now, Dorian ?"
" I am, thank you Alexius."
I wrote this very quickly for a friend of mine who's in a similar situation, I've had less than an hour to write it. She pressed me to upload it on here, don't ask me why. So if you guys are in that kind of situation ,seek immediate help, if someone hits you once, they'll hit again. Anyway, thanks for reading.