Disclaimer: I do not own Kingsman: The Secret Service, nor do I acquire monetary compensation for writing fanfiction like this.
A/N: It has finally happened. After a couple of weeks of staunch denial, I have succumbed to embracing the fact that I have become hartwin trash. This is my first fic for this fandom. Plot bunnies are buggering like crazy in my head and too many are being born too fast, which is more than my writing can actually keep up with. I apologise in advance for those who would be interested in seeing this story continued since I UPDATE REALLY SLOWLY. I have work and school to deal with, as well as bouts of writers block that sometimes go for months on end.
Also, I am not British (and although I'm good at the language, I've mostly been exposed to the American variety), and this is my first time trying to write in British English. This story has not been Brit-picked, but I have tried my best. If you do have suggestions/corrections for me, please do not hesitate to leave them in a review. I apologise to all you native speakers in advance if I wrote something wrong.
Chronicles of the Holy Grail
Prologue
It made a whole lot of sense that Harry would be the one destined to find Eggsy and bring him into Kingsman; after all, the knight after whom his first alias was named had been equally fated to find and bear the ever-elusive Holy Grail. It was with this sound logic that every other agent and staff besides the aforementioned pair started to use this moniker to refer to the current Galahad when they were sure neither would ever hear. It was clever, especially given the fact that, appealing and well sought-after as he was, Eggsy was as untouchable as the legendary San Graal. Everyone had been quick to learn this lesson, and had equal parts sympathy and schadenfreude for those who required the education (they never failed to watch though, and Merlin had taken to recording it all for those who missed it, not even once thinking that it was a gross misappropriation of Kingsman resources). Neither a shot to the head nor a couple of years away from the field had diminished Arthur's viciousness in the slightest, something that had been proven time and again.
But however much the lesson's been ingrained in reluctant brains, it hadn't prevented the raw desire and yearning elicited by every careless gesture, open expression, or spoken word—regardless of personal preferences (Lancelot would pick a bird over a bloke every time, but she'd given up denying that her heart fluttered a bit whenever her best mate smiled). It was bloody terrifying for a single person to have this much power, and they've all wondered at some point if it were a boon or a curse that Eggsy had absolutely no idea that he even had it. Oh he was a damn good agent alright, sharp and observant as the best of them but somehow it all eludes him outside of honeypot missions. The effect he had on non-asexual people who weren't his mum, his sister, or Roxy (she wasn't exactly impervious to it, but they were practically bros so the effect's dampened by much) was just that utterly devastating to say the least. What more if he'd been aware of and unafraid to use it? Eggsy had grown and flourished in Kingsman—a true diamond in the rough, exquisitely cut and polished to perfection. The most precious jewel in the coffers of Arthur's heart, he was; the only selfishness the king would ever afford himself and damn if he wouldn't fight like hell to keep this gem all to himself.
It was difficult to stay on top of guarding his lad's honour though, for the sheer amount of occurrences that he found offensive enough to warrant his wrath (that is to say, pretty much everything), not even counting the ones that happened a great deal before he had known exactly how he felt about the boy.
It was thus both a source of amusement as much as dread when Merlin (bless his asexual soul) had taken it upon himself to collect each of these instances in what is now probably one of the most heavily-protected pieces of technology related to Kingsman internal affairs: the tablet that later became famously (or infamously, as the case may be) named 'The Chronicles of the Holy Grail'.
A/N: For those who are confused, Harry has survived the shot to the head and became Arthur. Eggsy then took his place as the new Galahad. San Graal is old French for Holy Grail, and Schadenfreude is a German term referring to pleasure derived from someone else's misfortune. I do so love obliviously!seductive!Eggsy.
This is really really short, but there you go. Feedback would be lovely and much-appreciated. Brit-pick as you please, but remember that manners maketh man. Thank you.