Tips for Becoming a Good Author on Fanfiction

1. Get inspired by your fellow authors.

Now, think of it this way. If you were the first person to publish a story on a website like Fanfiction, wouldn't you feel pressured to do well? If you wouldn't, then you, my friend, are not a normal truffle. What on earth do you write about? That's what authors on this website are here for; you steal their ideas, make them better, and beat the crap out of them with your new story.

2. Type with correct grammar and spelling.

It's true. I'm a grammar/spelling Nazi. There are still idiots out there who spell the word 'surprise' incorrectly. (I'm not going to lie; I misspelled it like 'suprise' until sixth grade. But hey, that's what spell check is for!) Oh, and just to let you know if you didn't, fire is fiery, not 'firey'.

Spelling mistakes are not that bad, you might be thinking at this moment. Sure, I'll admit that I'm overreacting about spelling. But incorrect grammar is what rips my wee, little heart out. 'Their' and 'they're' are two different words with two different meanings. An example of bad grammar that I see all the time is:

"Your stupid." My stupid what? Again, 'your' and 'you're' are two different words with two different meanings.

Another example that drives me crazy is:

"Big brother, that's not very nice." said Al. WRONG.

"I don't care Al," Ed retorted back. CORRECT.

Remember to start a new line whenever a new person talks!

3. Don't be afraid to use imagery!

I'm the kind of person that just adores imagery. Time to include examples!

"The scent of his feces was horrible." This is an example of bad imagery. I don't know about you, but I have no idea what 'horrible' smells like. I guess it depends on a person's opinion. Instead of describing just the smell, why not give it a go at the other senses too? The only other one I would use in this situation is sight. I, by any means, cannot think of a person that can hear or be willing to touch feces, let alone taste it.

"As I stepped forward cautiously to look into the loo, I spotted three monstrous lumps of his feces as dark as damp soil. The smell was so overwhelmingly like rotten garbage, I fought the urge to vomit right into the bowl." In my opinion, this is a very good example of imagery. If you didn't know what the term 'feces' meant, I'm pretty sure have a good idea of what it is now. If you still don't know, I won't tell you because you might just throw the nice lunch just you had to waste.

4. Do not use abbreviations.

I guess this step ties in with my grammar rant, but I see this happen so often, I felt it was necessary to give it its own section. By abbreviations, I mean:

"I went to the store cuz I need sum food lol." Just please, don't do this to me. I'll admit that I typed like this back in fifth grade, but I've learned my lesson. However, if you were using this type of language to portray an internet conversation, I suppose it is okay.

5. Faces are no-no's.

I hardly ever see this in stories, but don't use faces like '(:' when you type stories. If you are an author who has read this and is still using them, I will send you to damnation. Again, if you're using it in an internet conversation, it's perfectly fine.

6. Don't be random.

Random is not good. If a story becomes too random, nothing makes sense anymore, and believe it or not, random does gets boring:

"Ed ran around Winry's house yelling, "MY PANT'S ARE TOO TIGHT!!!" Suddenly, Al smacked him in the face, making him cry. "Let's go eat some stew!" Al declared. So they went to the kitchen to eat some stew. "This is good stew," Ed said. "It is good." Al added. "BOO!!!" Mustang popped out of nowhere. "AHHH!!" They yelled.

I, personally, despise stories like this. Usually, random stories are accompanied by poor grammar, imagery, and an overuse of the exclamation point. I didn't make it as bad as most random stories are, because it goes against my nature.

Humor is okay; in fact, it's more than okay. It's excellent. Just be sure to keep it realistic, alright?

7. Stories that resemble Korean dramas are failures in my opinion.

How annoying is it when there are so many events going on in a story? Somebody dies, somebody gets hit by a car, the group goes on vacation, somebody loses their memory, somebody is emotionally torn by two of their lovers, et cetera. I don't understand how those stories get so many reviews.

8. PROOFREAD, PROOFREAD, PROOFREAD.

This tip speaks for itself.

Well, that's all I can think of right now. This list was actually meant to be a joke, but if you want to follow it, by all means, do so. It was not meant to offend anybody, but if it did, I'm sorry. Now, if only I can follow it…