Disclaimer:
The characters depicted herein do not belong to me, but to Marvel Comics and Stan Lee (EXCELSIOR!). I am merely a visitor here.
Waves crashed upon the rock he was sitting on, the spray of water reaching his face but not bothering him.
It had been too much. Way too much.
Was it over?
After everything that had happened, all the deaths…
Would they ever fight side by side again? Or were they destined to be enemies now?
He'd struck him. Not once, but dozens of times. A hundred times. They'd both been bloody messes by the time the battle had ended, and even after all of that, they'd been fighting. Almost hating.
Bucky had killed Tony's parents.
No, insisted his mind. Not Bucky. A HYDRA-twisted version of him. The Winter Soldier. But not Bucky. Never Bucky.
He'd had to save him. Couldn't let his best friend be killed by his…
His what?
What was Tony to him, exactly?
A friend? Something more?
Something more.
He closed his eyes.
Yes, Tony was something more, until…
He's not anymore, is he? We never did anything before, and now we never will. Because I chose Bucky over him.
A tear rolled down his face and he raised his knees, resting his forehead on them.
The sun was starting to set, but he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to pay attention to the way the coming twilight was turning the sky golden.
He remembered the first time he'd seen Tony. Iron Man. He'd been stunned to find that this man knew of him. That he seemed impressed by him.
And for what? All I did was sleep for decades, hidden beneath the ice.
He hadn't even been able to defeat HYDRA.
You saved millions of people, though.
Yeah, and so had everyone else in the Avengers.
And now it was over.
Something landed behind him, but he didn't bother looking up.
"Out of all the places in the world to come to, you decided to come to this forsaken spit of land? Look at this, there's nothing here but a bunch of rocks in the water. You could get carried out to sea."
"You wouldn't consider it that great a loss, would you?" he asked, his voice muffled.
"Actually, Steve, I would consider it a devastating loss. Get up."
"I'm not telling you where Bucky is."
He felt Tony sit down next to him and tensed, not wanting another confrontation. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Tony had stepped out of his Iron Man suit and was wearing black jeans and a simple tee shirt with black Converse sneakers. A very casual look for him.
"That's not what I'm here for."
"Why are you here then?"
"I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. That was… difficult."
Difficult. That was one way of looking at it.
"It was a nightmare is what you mean."
"It was a nightmare," agreed Tony. "A nightmare for me to find out that you were protecting the man who killed my parents. To find out that you knew that he had killed them and didn't say anything to me about it."
Pain laced his heart. "It wasn't –."
"But it was. He was in that body."
"He didn't have control of his actions." He finally looked up, glancing at Tony. "I'm not going to rehash this with you. Both of us believe that we're right, and nothing's going to change that."
"Nothing?"
Steve shook his head
"So you're choosing him over me."
"I don't want to have to choose anything. Bucky's not the one you should blame. You should blame the creators of the Winter Soldier. HYDRA. Anybody but him. He's not like us, Tony, he didn't ask to be turned into this. This was done to him; he's the victim."
Tony looked at his friend. Captain America. Someone whose stories he had heard countless times as a child.
Never once did he think that he would have met him, much less have worked with him.
Much less have fallen…
He shook his head. "Look, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Do I look okay?"
He looked great, but that was beside the point. "You look like you've just lost your best friend."
"That sounds about right."
Tony looked at him carefully, a few seconds passing in silence. He then reached out a hand to touch Steve's, licking his lips and tasting the salty tang of the waves. "I don't hate you."
Steve said nothing, merely looking back at him, his eyes wet with unshed tears.
"I don't hate you," repeated Tony. "And I don't want you to feel like I hate you. I'm mad at you, yes, but…" his voice trailed off for a second. "It'll pass. I mean, I can't say I'm just going to get over what happened, but I'm not going to hold on to that grudge forever."
"But you're going to stay mad at Bucky."
Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair, "He killed my parents. Killed my dad and… then he killed my mother. I was twenty-one years old. How would you feel?"
"I don't know how I would feel. Honestly, I don't think I'd take it very well at all." He sighed, "I'm sorry, Tony."
There was a nod and Tony got to his feet. The sun had properly set, revealing a sky sprinkled with stars and an almost full moon that was reflected on the water.
"Is it… over?" asked Steve.
"Is what over?"
Steve gestured vaguely between the two of them, and for a moment, Tony's heart stuttered in his chest until he understood that Steve was talking about them as the Avengers.
"We had a fight. A cataclysmic fight, I'll grant you that, but… it's what families do sometimes. They argue, and it sucks, but they eventually get over it."
Steve stood up, "You consider us family? The two of us?"
Tony inhaled slowly and held his breath before he exhaled. "You and I are more than family, Cap. You know that."
Swallowing, Steve didn't know where to look all of a sudden. Another tear ran down his cheek, but he pretended it was seawater. "Promise?"
Tony turned to him, saying nothing. He nodded, a lump in his throat preventing him from admitting what he felt. Betrayal, agony, fear, love…
Love.
"We'll be okay," he said after a while. He cleared his throat, turning away from Steve, "When are you coming back to the compound?"
"Soon, I guess. If you want me to come back."
"Of course I want you to come back, why wouldn't I want you to come back?"
"You're mad at me."
"Doesn't mean I don't want you with me."
"With you?"
"Us. With us. The Avengers."
"You sure you just don't want me with you? Alone?" asked Steve, wondering where he was pulling that line from. His mind reeled.
Stop it!
"What are you asking me?"
It was as though Steve's body had decided to operate without his brain's input.
He took several steps towards Tony, who looked him up and down quickly, presumably assessing any eventual threats.
"Nothing." He held out a hand, and Tony looked down at it confusedly for a second before shaking it. "I'm sorry about everything that happened."
"Me too." Releasing Steve's hand, he turned towards where his suit was waiting. As he was stepping into it, he heard words. Three of them.
"I love you."
The world stopped turning.
I love you.
"I know you do," he said softly, almost inaudibly. He wanted to say it back. But he couldn't. Not immediately. He held out his hand behind him, and a few seconds later, felt Steve's fingers curling around his. Turning around, he wrapped his arms around him. His Captain.
Steve hugged him back, resting his forehead against his neck, eyes shut tight. He'd said it. Had told him how he felt. Tony knew now. He knew.
They both knew.
The End
