Prisoner of Azkaban

Page torn from the back of her Potions notebook

Argh! This is doing my head in. I can't not write it down!

I know, I know, I know, but this book is definitely not possessed, and I'm going mental. I'll burn it afterwards, not like I'm writing this as a record or anything. I can't not write it down. I'll use scraps of paper and destroy them straight after, I don't care, but I swear I'll lose my mind if I keep this all bottled up.

It'd be ok if I had some friends, but there's something about, oh I dunno, opening the fricking Chamber of Secrets and letting a giant snake petrify people, and graffitiing the corridors with bloody messages that just, you know, puts people off.

It's the way they look at me. I'm getting tempted to start hamming it up, and like, accidentally on purpose wander about with fake blood dripping off the hem of my robes or something- but I know I can't because they'd all take it way too seriously.

And what's even worse is he rescued me. ME. Makes that silly fantasy about rescuing him seem stupid and childish. Which it is, but. Argh.

I wish I could just behave like a normal human being when he's around. But no, my face goes that spectacular shade of hideous, and I do clumsy idiotic things like fall on my arse or spill food everywhere- mealtimes are a nightmare, and I swear he doesn't even notice. He sits down right there like right next to me and he's so preoccupied with quidditch and Sirius Black and other important stuff that he doesn't even notice when I spill pumpkin juice all down my front, or drop a chicken drumstick in the soup or put my elbow in a blancmange. I mean, thank Merlin for tiny blessings, because everyone else sure as hell notices.

Ron's just as bad, you'd think he'd be a bit nicer to me after everything that happened last year but no, he's too busy arguing with Hermione and talking to Harry about quidditch and generally trying to be all grown up and too cool to talk to his little sister. Jerk.

Yeah, that's not fair, I don't really want him to talk to me. Wouldn't help the social pariah situation.

Fred and George have been… well. Dickheads. At least that's normal. I'm getting sick of all the jelly snakes though.

Hermione's too busy to talk to me. I get it. I am technically responsible for what happened to her last year. I mean, she'd be dead if she wasn't so smart.

I doubt there's any chance we could be friends.

I'm getting pretty desperate, honestly. I apologised to Hagrid for killing his roosters, but he's not exactly an age-appropriate friend. I tried talking to Neville Longbottom, because he's just as much a loner as me and at least twice as clumsy, but turns out he's pretty scared of everything, including people who got possessed by a dead psychopath and set a monster loose on the school.

There's Loony I suppose. But frankly, I need to rehabilitate my image, not reinforce the notion that I might be insane.

Rose-scented notepaper, 'borrowed' from a dorm-mate

Wish I had a million galleons. I'd buy him the best broom ever.

Actually, I'd buy me the best broom ever.

We could be broom buddies.

I consider it a sign of respect that I never tried his Nimbus. It was in the broom shed. Won't get a chance now, it's splinters and crushed dreams.

Could pinch one of the Slytherin ones and have a go.

Dunno. Everything Slytherin gives me the creeps.

SIGH.

I hope he likes the card.

I mean, I think it's funny.

George said 'Nice one, Gin,' and winked, so it's definitely funny.

That's how I'll win him over. A campaign of hilarious greetings cards- strictly no poetry though. That Valentine last year went horribly wrong. Baffles me how anything starting 'his eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad' could be taken seriously. Mortifying.

Anyway, at least if I keep up the cards he'll get to know the real me, not the me who trips over her own feet, and butters the tablecloth.

So embarrassing.

Parchment, back of an essay on Basilisks for Defence Against the Dark Arts

Write about what you know, right? Sense of humour got the better of me. Professor Lupin is a good egg, gave me top marks (see reverse!), and a counselling session. Dude seems to know a thing or two about being ostracised. I forgive him his gentle kindness only because of the chocolate. At least he has his priorities straight there.

Embarrassed to say I cried. Didn't mean to. His fault. He started going on about how difficult it is to make friends when you have "unusual life experiences" that other students can't relate to. Like. Thanks dude, really needed the reminder that I'm a total freak.

I stole some of his chocolate too. Practicing the Muggle Arts, as Fred would say. I might be a little bit ashamed. He was really nice about everything.

I guess I'm mad at him. It's all very well to tell me that things will get better but look at him for Godric's sake! How well did that work out huh? Not a single photograph in his rooms. Family? Friends? I don't think so.

I wonder what his issue is. He's clearly not very well, and it's obvious this is the first decent job he's had and he's like, thirty and already has grey hair.

There was a calendar marked with the phases of the moon in his desk drawer with the chocolate, so if I had to guess, I'd say he's either a woman or a werewolf.

Wouldn't that be something! Just picture it, mild mannered Lupin, up the top of the Astronomy tower howling at the moon and feasting on the remains of some unfortunate student (my vote: Draco Malfoy).

Can't be though, they'd never let a werewolf be a teacher.

I saw him down by the greenhouses with Sprout the other day, so he's probably just into lunar gardening.

SIGH.

I wish the Dementors didn't have that effect on me, I just want to forget last year and start over. On the other hand, Harry keeps passing out, so maybe we could bond over that?

If he ever notices me, that is.

Torn piece of parchment

I'm going insane.

Like, actually this time.

I swear to god I saw Hermione out the window, down by the greenhouses and then like three seconds later she passed me in the hall.

I keep thinking I must've imagined it, but she has super distinctive hair.

Maybe someone was making fun of her and copying it?

It would be totally reasonable to assume my eyes are playing tricks on me, but it's not the first time. I see that girl everywhere.

Maybe my total lack of friends is making me subconsciously fixate on her?

Am I hallucinating?

Does she have a secret twin?

Maybe she's duplicated herself so she can go to extra classes.

That's insane.

I'm insane.

Like actually, certifiably, totally and utterly INSANE.

Maybe I should go talk to Loony. Get some tips.

Ha. Funny.

I'm really scared.

Back of battered second year timetable

Urgh, he's so amazing. A full Patronus!

I know people say he didn't do anything back then, because he was just a baby, but like, seriously, he's a freaking hero.

I might be a bit dazzled.

I'm also insanely jealous. They got to ride a HIPPOGRIFF. Colour me green with envy.

Good news on the insanity front though! Such a relief, really didn't know what I was going to do if it got any worse.

Also, very sad about Lupin. He seemed like such a nice person.